Page 51 of Into the Mountains (Blue Grove Mountain #3)

“I’m sorry, I don’t take demands when they sound like questions.

” She’s teasing me as she moves toward the couch, circling her way around like she’s going to be the one making demands, not me.

I have no idea whether or not I’d like that, but right now, I want to tell her what to do.

Next time, she can definitely boss me around.

“I said.” My voice is more commanding now. “Take off your dress.”

“Or what?”

“I’ll—” I’m really not good at this.

“It’s okay, Eli. Just let loose.”

Let loose. Easy. “Take off your fucking dress and kneel.”

A satisfied smirk spreads across her face and she peels off her dress, tossing it to the side.

“The underwear too.” Again, she listens, following the next instruction and kneeling in front of me. Her hair falls over her shoulders in waves, covering her breasts.

“Wait here,” I say and step away from her to grab my jeans and dig in the front pocket. I almost forgot I intended to give it back to her tonight. What better way than to put it to use. Her jaw drops when she sees the purple scrunchie dangling from my finger.

“You stole my scrunchie?” She practically screeches. I can’t help but laugh and decide to admit it.

“I did. When you were looking for it the day I came to get rid of your squatter, I took it from the counter top to mess with you. I just didn’t want to give it back. Now it has the perfect use.”

If glares could kill, I’d be dead on the ground right now. If she had a superpower it would no doubt be lasers coming out of her eyes. I can only imagine the ways she’d make me dance.

“Just sit still and let me put your hair up.”

“Do you even know how to do that?”

“Yes, I used to help Sarah a lot before she lost her hair to chemo. She was never coordinated enough to be able to do her hair the way she wanted to, so I learned how.”

She’s quiet now. I try to focus on pulling all the strands of her hair together.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Her red hair shifts back and forth in my hand as she shakes her head, forgetting the task at hand.

“Don’t be sorry. I asked and you answered.

I’m not offended by your answer or anything.

I know you had a whole life after we broke up and before I moved here.

I’m not going to make you feel like you need to erase that in any way.

Talk about her as little or as much as you’d like around me. I’m here to listen. Always.”

Honestly, I wasn’t sure how she’d feel in regards to me talking about Sarah. But this is better than I could have imagined. To not be afraid to bring her up in conversation even if we were about to have sex. Being around her, it seems to happen so casually. It feels good.

I drop her hair and turn her to me with a finger to her jaw. I open her mouth with my tongue, we breathe each other in for a few moments. Our lips come together over and over again, and I almost wish we could stay like this forever. An endless loop of love and skin on skin.

But I break the kiss instead and gather her hair again, turning her to face away from me.

“Now, actually sit still this time.”

The air is charged again as I pull her hair back, bit by bit and then section it into three parts, braiding it down the middle. I haven’t mastered the French braid and it’s been a long time since I’ve done anything with hair, but it’s decent.

She runs her hands over it as I tie the scrunchie at the bottom of the braid. “I can already tell without looking this looks way better than anything I could have ever done.”

“Just wait until you can see what else I can do with it,” I tease.

“I’m listening.” Her head turns just slightly so she can look over her shoulder and fuuuuck, I am so gone for her.

“Bend over on all fours.”

“I like the sound of this already.” It’s probably obvious where I’m going with it, but her eagerness to do exactly what I want has my cock jumping to attention.

“Fuck, you being so willing, so open to all of this.”

“Just wait until it’s your turn, honey. You’ll barely survive.”

“Oh, you’re going to eat me alive, but I’ll enjoy every second of it.” I give her a slap on the ass and she squeals in surprise.

Seeing her like this, knees apart, breasts swaying with her, ass toward me, ready. I can’t resist.

I position myself behind her and spread her with my fingers first to make sure there’s enough so we can both be comfortable. I slip two fingers in suddenly and her moan pierces the air.

Removing my fingers, I replace them with the tip of my cock and slowly push into her. My hands are at her hips and I can feel her trying to push against me, to go faster. “Not just yet, honey.”

I bend forward and palm her breasts, roll her nipples between my fingers which only drives her hips into me more. But in this position, it’s harder for her to move them in the way she wants.

“You feel so good.”

“What feels good? Specifics.”

In between breaths, she says, “Your cock inside me. Your hands on my tits. Knowing you have more you want to do to me gets me so close.”

“Mmmm, good.”

I lean back up and push into her hard. A few more times and she’s calling out my name, begging for more.

Fuck this feels too good and I have to accept the fact I’m not going to last long. I just have to make sure she comes first. The braid lays perfectly down her back like it was placed there just for me, but that is going to have to wait. She comes first.

“Where the fuck are you going?” She looks back and answers her own question when she sees my head lining up between her knees, my hands at her hips ready to lower them to me.

“Making sure you’re satisfied.”

And I do. I pull down her hips until I can get to her, my fingers slipping right back to where they were, three of them this time and I curl them against her walls, the buck of her hips and the sounds coming from her telling me exactly where I need to go.

I suck on her clit and lick with the tip of my tongue as I press my fingers in and out until I feel her clench around them.

She tenses as she rides out the orgasm as liquid follows.

I didn’t think it was possible to be more turned on than I was before I got under her, but it’s possible.

Holy shit. I’ve never done that to a woman before and I don’t think I knew I’d like it so much. After the orgasm subsides, she doesn’t come down to my face right away.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, that was…really good, I’ve just never…uh…”

“Squirted right on a guy’s face before?” She laughs at my bluntness. We are where we are because we’ve been honest with each other, there’s no reason to stop that now.

“I’ve actually never done it at all. That was the first time and it felt…”

“Incredible?”

“Yeah,” she breathes out like she still can’t believe it happened. “I’d like to explore that more later, but right now, you’re in charge. So don’t stop.”

“I’m in charge, yet you’re the one telling me not to stop.”

She rolls her eyes and comes down to give me a quick kiss on the lips before she gets back into the position she was in before.

I follow her movements, but this time I don’t ease back into her. I give her what she wanted before and push into her quick and hard. She moans and I don’t waste any time. I grab her braid and wrap it once around my hand, tugging her head back just enough to expose her neck.

“Fuck yes,” she moans.

That’s all the encouragement I need.

In a few more strokes, my own orgasm bursts through me. We are both exhausted and need to hop in the shower, but I don’t think either of us wants to move.

We lie there for a while in the comfortable silence. Spent and satisfied, my mind drifts to the camping trip after canoeing. And I realize I never brought up our conversation again.

“I’m sorry.”

Her head instantly lifts from my chest, her brows already furrowed. “For what exactly?”

I play with her hair, trying to figure out the right words to say.

“I tried to apologize to you officially after the canoe race thing during the camping trip, but everyone showed up and I didn’t say anything about it the rest of the trip and I should have.

Hell, I should have a long time ago and I’ll apologize for that too. ”

“You’re rambling.” Her fingertips trace the line of my jaw back and forth, and my dick is already hardening again, but I can’t give that any attention.

“I’m sorry for Ash. I had planned to tell you everything, about the dare, the app, everything.

Then Ash got in the way and kind of spilled the beans before I could and I never had the chance to explain, which is fair.

I deserved that and you had way more going on, you didn’t need me to deal with too. I’m just sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

She doesn’t say anything. We sit in the quiet of the apartment for what feels like hours, a clock on the wall ticking away the seconds.

“It took me a long time to separate the pain of my parents’ death and losing you.

It was all confusing and different kinds of losses, but they all hurt.

Everything hurt, which is why I left and never went back.

It wasn’t until I moved here and saw you, watched you from a distance, and learned what kind of man you really are that I forgave you.

I realized the anger I held on to was childish and, while it was justified at the time, holding it for so long was stupid.

I should have forgiven you a long time ago.

” Her eyes are shining with unshed tears now and all I want to do is take away her pain.

“My mom didn’t want me to stay angry and I did anyway.

At you, at her for forgetting me, and my dad.

At Dad for dying so soon after Mom. That summer was filled with so much love with you and my family, but over the years, the dark parts took over in my memories and the pain is what I remember the most. The feeling of utter heartbreak when Mom forgot me again in the middle of a conversation.

The devastation I felt when I found my dad on the floor of the living room, knowing he was gone.

Knowing I’d just lost the only other person that mattered to me in my life.

And the worst part was I didn’t get to say goodbye. ”

The conversation has shifted to something she doesn’t open up about much and this matters more than anything I had to say, so I just pull her closer and listen.

“Mom was different. Even though she forgot me, I still had a chance to say goodbye and tell her how much I loved her. I was able to hug her again and feel her arms wrap around mine one last time. But with him, that chance was ripped away from me. I’d never see him smile again or feel the scratchiness from his beard when he kissed my cheek or the top of my head.

I’d never hear his unmistakable, boisterous laugh or an encouraging word when I needed one.

He was just gone and my life changed in a way that I wasn’t ready for.

I had to handle the grief in a completely different way.

A way that I wasn’t ready to handle.” Tears fall from her chin and roll their way down my chest and onto the floor.

I wipe underneath her eyes and squeeze her shoulder, offering her whatever comfort I can as she talks through the most painful memories of her life.

“You don’t talk about your dad much.”

She takes a deep breath in and lets a shaky one out.

“I’ve never talked about his death to anyone really.

During the visitation, it was just one long line of people saying the same things over and over again.

So I would too. I’d repeat myself so much, it was like I was a robot.

It was sudden. Unexpected. It was a heart attack.

No history of heart related issues. I never explained further.

Andy and Meredith tried to help, but eventually I pushed them away enough that they knew I needed space.

So, the only people that know I’m the one who found him are the EMTs that showed up after I called 911 and the coroner who came after. And now you.”

“I remember being in the house when Hudson found Sarah. She was downstairs at George and Isabelle’s on the couch playing Scrabble and watching a movie with Hudson.

One thing I never told anyone was that I actually woke up ten minutes before he did.

I don’t know if that’s the moment she died, but I woke up for some reason and when I did, I could feel it.

That she just wasn’t here anymore. When I went downstairs, Hudson was distraught.

I was practically numb and I think part of him will never understand how I was so calm through it all.

I knew what I was walking down to when I woke up.

A future without my wife. But I had to be there for my son, too, and I think if I wouldn’t have had him to focus on, it would have been a lot harder.

I also had a support system in my family. I’m sorry you didn’t have that.”

We’ve both been through such deep losses, it’s hard to imagine a time when I wasn’t mourning Sarah over the years or when she wasn’t mourning her parents. Yet here we are. Healing together.

“I am too, but it’s my fault that I didn’t. I could have had Andy and Meredith and their family, but I pushed them as far away as I could at any chance I got.”

Suddenly an idea starts to form in my head. One that I’m not sure how I feel about and I’m very unsure how she will take it, but I speak my mind anyway. “Have you thought about going back there?”

“Back?”

“Yeah. I mean, the house is in your name and you said before you haven’t been back to officially clean it out or anything. Why don’t we go together? I could help and maybe you can get closure?”

She looks as if she’s going to debate me at first, but after a second she lets the thought sink in. Once it’s fully submerged, she meets my eyes. “Let’s do it.”

“Really?” I ask surprised. I figured I’d have to do more convincing, but the determination in her face says she’s ready to face her past and she wants me there with her.

“Yes. But let’s focus on finishing the expansion and then we can go. I’d rather finish so I can fully be there and not worry about doing other things during our visit.”

“Deal.”