Page 34 of Into the Mountains (Blue Grove Mountain #3)

I close my eyes and try not to focus on his hand and where I wish it would go. But the more I try to shift my focus away from him, the more it goes to his hand and how the pressure feels against my skin. That part of my brain fails to ignore the tightness low in my body.

“Much warmer,” I whisper. There’s a twitch against my ass and a hardness that’s unmistakable.

Neither of us says anything about it, but my body acts before my brain has a chance to catch up with what it’s doing and presses up against the length of him.

Muscles clench together as he tenses up and briefly stops his movements.

“What are you doing?” he whispers.

“I don’t know.”

Without saying anything else, he starts trailing his fingers again, but this time, they go lower on my body. Lightly down my arm until he reaches my elbow. He lets them explore further, brushing the curve of my hip and down my outer thigh and back up again.

My breathing steadily becomes heavier as my body reacts to his touch and for a moment, I think about all the things I was scared of before.

About the fear I let take over so many times in the past. Sitting up, I turn to face him and when I do I can see the heat in his eyes.

He follows me until he’s on his knees facing me.

Another thought breezes in that it’s surreal to see him in front of me again…

like this. Both of us on our knees again fifteen years later.

Reaching out, he grabs a strand of hair and lets it fall between his fingers, his thumb coming up to trace my jaw.

With his finger, he tips my chin up before leaning down to my lips.

“What are you doing?” I ask, even though it’s obvious. Both of us seem unsure of what’s about to happen.

“I…I don’t know,” he admits. And it’s that admission that makes me back away an inch to really look at him. To make sure this is something he wants, too, before we go any further.

“Do you want to?” I ask.

“Do you still hate me?”

“Yes…no…I don’t know.”

“Do either of us know anything?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Just tonight then? For old time’s sake?” Something flashes on his face, but it disappears before I have a chance to figure out what it is.

“It won’t change anything,” I say, placing a hand on his hip and roughly tugging at his sweatpants until they reach mid-thigh.

“It won’t change anything,” he agrees with a hardened stare. He follows my lead and grabs the hem of my—well, his—sweatshirt and pulls it over my head without being gentle. Thank whatever godly imminence is out there. I don’t think I could handle gentle. At least, not from him. Not right now.

Peeling off his own sweater, we both sit for a moment in silence as we stare at one another. His eyes roam everywhere and once they land on my breasts, my nipples harden and he takes a sharp inhale.

“As gorgeous as ever.”

“None of that sentimental shit.” If we do that, my heart won’t stand a chance.

“Deal with it.” The sternness in his voice takes me by surprise, but the swoop I feel down below tells me I like it.

When I don’t say anything, he fidgets with his pants and boxers until he’s completely naked in front of me.

All I can do is stare at the length of him.

He’s not small, but he’s not huge either.

He’s average in a way that would still be satisfying as long as he knows what he’s doing.

And I already know that he does. In a low voice, he says, “Now crawl over here and suck my cock.”

My body heats at the command, but I listen. I’ve never been bossed around in the bedroom before—or in a tent—but if there was one memory I’d want my eidetic mind to encase in the museum up there, I think it would be this one.

I hinge at my hips and start crawling over to him, not that I had to go very far since we were only a few feet apart, but as far as foreplay goes, this works for me. “Eyes on me, love.”

I grab the base of him and look up to find him staring down at me with so much desire in his face, I’m not sure what to do with it.

So I start with a stroke from base to tip and watch as his features relax into pure bliss all while he never moves his eyes away from mine.

So much for no sentiment. Eye contact is nothing but sentiment.

But right now, I’m way too horny to give a shit.

Stroking with one hand, I wrap my other around him and squeeze his ass, digging my nails in for good measure just to see how he will react.

His surprised grunt almost makes me laugh because it was so loud.

If we wake the others…I don’t even want to think about the repercussions of that possibility right now.

Even though Sky would probably just tell us to go on and leave us to it.

“We need to be quiet.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to do that.”

“I wasn’t sure whether or not you’d like it.”

He cups my chin and tugs until I stretch my body to meet his, my hand still stroking him.

“I do like it and I’d ask for you to do it harder if we had a place where we didn’t have to be quiet.”

“Next time,” I let slip before I can stop it. He hesitates for a moment before we both decide to ignore it.

“Are you going to kiss me or not?”

“I think not,” he answers with a sly smile.

“You’re an ass,” I say, trying to push against his hand before he stops me.

He turns my head and tilts it just so, giving him complete access to my neck.

The way he holds my face is gentle, but firm.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him bend down and the warmth of his breath whispers against the skin of my collarbone.

Starting at the center of it, he licks all the way to my earlobe where he nips and sucks.

“I never said you could kiss me,” I say.

“Are you always this demanding during sex?”

“Actually…no. I usually listen. But it just kind of came out before I thought about it.” He pulls back, suddenly looking concerned. “I should have asked. I’m sorry.” He lets go of me and threads his hands through his hair nervously. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Elias,” I place my hands on either side of his face. “It’s okay. Do you really think I would have let you boss me around if I didn’t like it?”

The panic in his face softens at my touch and he turns his cheek into my left hand, breathing it in. “True. You would have told me to fuck off if you didn’t want to crawl.”

“I would have. But I actually liked it.” I shrug. I figured I’d have been embarrassed to admit it, but I’m not. I felt safe with him and I still do. More than I should. “And I’d like more of it.”

“Yeah?” he asks like he’s still a little unsure.

“If you don’t tell me to fuck you right now, I’m going to go sleep in Avery’s tent.”

“The fuck you are.”

“Oh, so you’re demanding me to stay?”

“Well, no, you have the full option to leave this tent whenever you damn well please. I can’t and won’t ever force you to—”

He stops talking when he sees the dead expression on my face. “Oh, right,” he says as realization hits at what exactly I was getting at.

It takes him a second to get back into it, so I move my hand down his chest and follow his happy trail right to his cock, standing at the ready.

“Are you going to tell me what to do now, Eli?” Usually he would cringe at the nickname, a reminder of days past that he didn’t want to relive, but this time when the name leaves my lips, a small groan escapes him and he twitches in my hand.

With the permission finally out of the way, our hands are everywhere at once, years of built up tension coming out in fumbling hands and breathless words.

“I still hate you,” I whisper, not even a bit serious.

“The feeling is…very much…mutual.” The words are said in between kisses and nips at the nape of my neck and I bend it back to let him continue. And I think we realize after today our words are a lie.

Straddling him, we both know exactly where we want to be, but I definitely didn’t bring any protection with me. This was the absolute last thing I had expected to happen and I doubt he planned for it either.

“I was tested before I left California and I was cleared,” I say. “I haven’t been with anyone else and even though I’m not on birth control, I’m not in my fertile window.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since…” He doesn’t say her name, but I know by the flash of sadness in his eyes who he was going to say.

He hasn’t been with anyone since his wife.

I want to dwell on that, let myself drown in it, but not right now.

I’ll pick it apart later when this moment inevitably replays on a loop.

Without looking away from him, I reach down between us and position him until he’s just inside me.

My hand falls to the other side of him and I ease myself down.

Both gasping at the feel of us together, I take him in and out a few times, until he slides in and out with ease.

When he does, I sit up and take in the full length of him.

He throws his head back into the pillows and bites his lower lip to keep from making any sound.

“Ride me harder, red.”

“Yes, Eli.” I listen and lean my hands down onto his chest, thrusting my hips into his, finding a rhythm together. The tension inside me is already building as the most sensitive part of me is hitting his pelvis in just the right spot.

“That’s it. Come for me, Charlie.” His hands come to my breasts and I let out a soft moan, wishing I could be louder.

I almost do when he pinches my nipples and rolls them in between his fingers.

My orgasm crashes over me like the tide over a rocky shore.

Powerful and all consuming. Soon after, I feel Elias’s release, his whole body tensing under mine as he wraps his arms around me and his hands grasp at me.

Suddenly, his hands are on either side of my face and he’s kissing me.

I feel pressure from his body and I follow his lead as he rolls on top of me, never pulling himself from me.

He thrusts and kisses until he and I both slow down to languid movements and savory kisses.

Our bodies are spent and I can almost see the web of emotions we have tangled between us.

If we did anything to untangle them before, I think we undid all of that work and knotted them up more than they were before.

For a few minutes, or longer, the concept of time is lost to me at the moment, we lay in silence, still tangled up in one another. Finally, he kisses my shoulder and pulls my face toward his, kissing me again. I open my lips to him and slide my tongue into his, the tug deep inside, returning.

He starts to harden inside me again and we don’t stop.

This time though, neither of us says anything.

There’s no demands or jokes. There’s just slow movements and kisses that mean more than they should.

One night is what we said. But I have a feeling we both know there’s going to be more nights after this one.

The air is cool as I wake, but my body is warmer than it was when I woke to the rain.

I’m no longer shivering and the arms wrapped around me probably have something to do with that.

Without second guessing, I snuggle closer to Elias, content with where I am for now.

Even though I know the morning has come and our night of stolen kisses and secret touches is over.

We agreed it meant nothing. But I don’t think my heart is fully listening.

Part of me wonders if his is. I’m not going to give myself room to hope.

“Good morning, Charlie.” His arms tighten around me, holding me closer and I hate to admit that I don’t think I want to leave this tent. I was so reluctant before to share it and this is the exact reason why.

“Morning,” I whisper, sleepily.

“Do you feel better?”

“Mm, I do.” His arms never leave my body as I turn to face him. I curl my left hand into his chest as I allow the other to explore his side. “Much warmer.”

His lips press to the side of my head as the arm under me pulls me close.

I look up at him and for the first time in a long time, I think I feel content.

He places his finger below my chin and draws me closer to him, pressing his lips firmly against mine.

This isn’t like the first kisses from last night that were fevered and filled with the tension from years ago finally breaking between us.

These are slow, like he wants to savor them.

Tuck them away into his pocket and save them.

I think I want to save them too.

“Do you think anyone heard us last night?” I ask. We stayed fairly quiet but there were a few times that I could have sworn we were a bit too loud and someone heard us.

“If they did, I doubt any of them will mention it.”

I raise my eyebrows at him. “Did you forget who we are camping with out here?”

His chest vibrates with a laugh. “You’re right. They’d be the first one to call us out on it. Sky in particular.”

“Do you think she’d be mad?”

The question hangs in the air while he thinks about it and for a moment, I regret asking it. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—”

“No it’s okay. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t something that I’ve thought about a lot over the years.

The Waters are very much still and always will be my family.

And I knew that when I did eventually move on, it would be weird in all kinds of ways.

I’m in their daily lives and they’re in mine, so navigating a relationship always seemed like it would be strange. ”

“Good thing that’s not what this is then. No awkwardness.” If I could slap myself in the face without it looking completely weird, I would, because I can feel Elias tense next to me.

“Yeah, glad we don’t have to deal with things being weird,” he agrees.

I sense he doesn’t actually agree though and I wonder why we’re both playing games with each other.

Then again, we still haven’t fully hashed out what happened between us years before and knowing what that pain is all entangled in, I don’t know if I’m ready to.