Page 20 of Into the Mountains (Blue Grove Mountain #3)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

ELIAS

W alking into the clinic this time feels more like a death sentence.

With how much—or how little—Charlotte and I have actually accomplished over the last few weeks, there’s a small stone of guilt sitting in my stomach that feels more like a boulder.

I should have been trying harder to get along and as much as I wish I could say it’s her that makes it so difficult, it’s just as much me as it is her.

We haven’t found the work relationship we need.

I can’t help it though. She… vexes me. The word coming from the last season of Bridgerton I binged last week.

When I heard Kate tell Anthony that he vexed her, I couldn’t think of a better description for what Charlotte does to me.

Completely and wholly frustrating, but at the same time, I’m wholly enchanted by her.

On one of the nights I got home early, Charlotte and Ethan weren’t home.

She had texted letting me know they went for ice cream which presented a perfect opportunity for me to rot on the couch with one or two episodes until they returned.

And when they arrived, Ethan wrapped around Charlotte like a koala, head on her shoulder completely passed out, I couldn’t make it to the remote fast enough to switch the show.

“You are not watching Bridgerton ?” Without even turning around, I could hear the smirk in Charlotte’s barely audible voice. With a split second to decide whether I was going to deny it even though I knew she saw it clear as day or if I was going to lean into it, I chose the latter.

“You don’t?”

“Pause it. I’ll be right back,” she whispers before turning back around up the stairs to take Ethan to his room, I’m assuming to tuck him into bed.

I get up to follow her, tip-toeing up the stairs careful to avoid the creaks that might be lurking.

Once I make it to his room, I hear their voices carry into the hallway.

I lean in quietly, not wanting to disturb them.

“Thank you for the cards and the ice cream, Charlie.”

Charlotte brushes his hair back from his forehead.

“Anytime, E.” My heart aches at the nicknames and I wonder how I missed the fact that they’ve gotten so close lately.

Most people only see babysitting as another way to make extra cash, and sure that is part of it for Charlotte, but she’s different. She sees it as more.

“Do you mean that?” His voice is so small, nervous to ask a question he isn’t sure he wants the answer to.

She makes room for herself on his bed bringing Sable up with her. “Honestly?” He nods his head and my heart starts beating rapidly.

“I mean it with everything I have. You’re my favorite part of my week, E. Even if I have to deal with your grumpy dad,” she says, jokingly.

“He is kinda grumpy. But not all the time.” A sad smile forms on my face at the idea that Ethan feels the need to defend me.

“No, not all the time. You’re right.”

“You didn’t answer my question from earlier,” he accuses.

“I didn’t.”

“Will you answer it now?”

“Do I think your dad will be happy again?” She pauses as they both give the cat attention, seemingly to distract themselves from the moment.

The ache in my chest deepens and I rub it as if that will make the pain go away.

Ethan has always been so smart and intuitive.

Observant as hell and I think over the years, I’ve forgotten just how observant he can be. “I do.”

“Really?”

“I think it’ll take some time, but everyone deserves a chance to be happy again after a loss. Yours and your dad’s loss just hit a little harder.”

“What about you?”

I can’t see Charlotte’s face from where I’m standing, but her body visibly stiffens and a flood of questions enters my mind.

“What about me?”

“You lost your mom too, right?” I remember hearing about her mom’s death shortly after our last date. My calls went unanswered and I wanted to think most of it was because she had to deal with other things outside of her control, but I know she didn’t want to talk to me then.

“I did,” she admits, her voice quieter and stifled with emotion. “I lost my dad not long after that.”

Shit. The ache in my chest hurts for a whole different reason now and everything I’ve done and said to Charlotte since her coming here cycles through my head.

It was all friendly banter and our usual competitive acquaintanceship from high school, but knowing that she has that loss in her past mixed with the hurt I caused her, makes me feel like a complete asshole.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Fifteen years ago. And it still sucks.”

“Does it get easier?”

“Time makes it easier, but some days grief hits a little bit harder than others. The days where you don’t really expect it and you miss those people just a little bit more.”

“I think I understand.”

“And I’m so sorry that you do. If you ever want to talk about this kind of stuff, you can always come to me. Or your dad.”

“It’s hard to talk to Dad sometimes.”

I can feel the familiar sting of tears behind my eyes and my neck feels hot as shame crawls up toward my ears.

“It is?”

“If I try, he gets sad. Really sad. We talked a little bit when we moved, but not much since then because he’s been really busy. I know you two have that big project.”

She puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Don’t give up on him, okay?”

“Okay.”

Leaning down, she places a quick kiss on his forehead, lingering for a brief moment and a look of pure contentment crosses my kid’s features.

I should have left my spot when I realized they were going to talk, but it was like my body was frozen in place.

A statue carved into the wall to be on display for the next generation.

Trying to back away, my foot lands on a creaky floorboard and I cringe, wishing we’ve been in the house longer so I could have learned where all the creaky floorboards are hiding.

There’s not a chance in hell Charlotte didn’t hear that.

She did.

Before I have a chance to meet my escape, her red hair appears at the door as she softly brings it to a close. There’s no reason to make an attempt to leave now. She knows I’m behind her. “Eavesdropping?” She looks softly over her shoulder, her hair guarding most of her face.

“Busted.”

From the look on her face, she isn’t all that amused by my antics. Even though that wasn’t my intention. “I was just coming up to give him a good night kiss and then I heard your voices and I didn’t want to intrude.”

“So, you stood in the doorway and listened to our conversation instead?”

“Well, when you put it that way, it makes it sound worse.”

“Please, put it in a way that makes it sound better.”

I think for a second and then I think about the conversation I overheard and decide to lay down my sword for this one. “I can’t.”

From the shocked look on her face, she expected me to say something different. Usually I would have. Not tonight though.

Tonight feels different.

Charlotte gives me a sad smile I’ve seen way too many times over the years.

She places a hand on my bicep and squeezes offering a comfort I don’t deserve, as she passes by and heads toward the stairs.

With a sheepish smile, I shy past her into Ethan’s room.

Small snores are already echoing through the space.

We’ve had two weeks to unpack and while his bed and bookshelf are already up and together, the rest of his stuff is mostly still in boxes, making the sound a bit louder.

I give him a quick kiss on the brow, careful not to make him stir and give Sable a few pets before leaving the room.

Once I go downstairs, I expect to be greeted with an empty couch where I can continue my binge watch.

Instead I am met with a red head sitting cross legged on my couch, covered up with one of the blankets from the blanket ladder Avery bought me last Christmas.

Time must mean nothing to her, because I don’t think I was gone for more than a minute or two, but she has a bowl of popcorn sitting on the coffee table with two cups of tea ready to go, steam curling in the air above them.

“You’re still here?”

“I am,” is all she says.

“Why?”

“Because I haven’t seen this episode yet.

I started it over.” She gestures to the spot next to her and when I take it, the bowl of popcorn is offered to me a few inches away.

The cup of tea follows shortly after and I’m not sure what to say.

The crushing loneliness eases a bit as she snuggles deeper into the couch indicating she has no plans to leave soon.

So I don’t say anything and neither does she.

For once, for the first time since she re-entered my life, we don’t spar back and forth, we don’t try to one up each other, we just sit in companionable silence and berate Anthony and Kate for being so oblivious to one another.

That was two nights ago and we still haven’t spoken since and I think that’s part of the reason Sky and Jacob have called this impromptu “staff” meeting. They want the kind of updates we don’t really have.

Sable’s chewing noises distract me from overthinking too much and I hear Ethan trying to encourage her that her harness is not for chewing.

He insisted on bringing her so she could see all her friends at the shelter, thinking she probably missed them.

Surprisingly, she didn’t fight the piece of fabric when we put it on her.

It wasn’t until we got here that she decided she didn’t like it all that much.

“She’ll get used to it the more you use it with her,” Jacob says as he comes through the back door. “Feel free to take her back there whenever. One of the kittens from her litter recently got adopted, but there’s still a few back there I’m sure she’d be more than happy to see.”

“Can I go back, Dad?”

“Sure, E. Just make sure to not come out with another one, okay?”