Page 34 of I’ll Be There (Montana Fire #4)

Please let him not be making the worst move of his life.

No, he’d already done that. A couple of times, but the doozy of them all was certainly sending Blue away—and not following her. Not showing up to tell her he was alive.

Letting her carry his secret alone.

Justin stood outside the door of Blue’s hospital room in Minneapolis, carrying a stupid bunch of flowers he’d picked up in the gift shop. As if that might make up for...

For abandoning her.

The door opened and a doctor strode out.

Justin stepped away, whirled fast, and put his back against the wall. Breathing harder than necessary, probably. Sweat dotted his temples, drew a line down his back.

He should simply leave her alone. Let her go on with her life.

Heal from the trauma of the past, the broken promises, the heartache.

She deserved better than a guy like him.

“Are you okay, sir?”

A nurse, dressed in a pair of maroon pants, a floral shirt, her hands in her pockets, had stopped in the hallway.

Not with his heart thundering, his pulse nearly deafening. He nodded. “Yep. Fine.”

Oh, and his voice sounded as if he’d dragged it over a shard of broken glass. Nice. He cleared his throat. “Just...”

She patted his arm. Glanced into the room, through the open door. “She’s awake. And those are pretty flowers.”

He had nothing, just stared at the flowers, then the form of the retreating woman.

How did he apologize for destroying another person’s life?

I think she still loves you.

Conner’s words, spoken to him yesterday afternoon when his little brother finally decided to show up for his party. Liza had changed out of her gown into a pair of white jeans and a T-shirt; Conner out of the monkey suit, into jeans and a Jude County Smoke Jumpers black tee.

He’d had a pretty good idea then what had taken them so long to get to the celebration. He just had to take in the firm grip Conner had on Liza’s hand, the way his brother nearly glowed, such a deep joy in his eyes.

That’s what love did. Healed. Nurtured.

Forgave.

Please.

Not that he should seriously hope that Blue still actually loved him. Maybe he’d dreamed the entire thing—after all, he’d lived a lie for most of their time together. She’d seen through him, however, so easily.

You’re not like them, Justin.

Her words lifted the truth, the hope out of the debris of his lies, the life he’d created—and hated—with the Sons of Freedom.

Given him the clarity, the strength to walk away from her, not contact her.

To keep her alive.

He drew in a breath. Considered the stupid flowers, his gaze going to the trash bin down the hall, near the reception desk.

Go, finish what you started. Conner had shaken his hand, met his eyes. I love you, bro. Thanks for coming to my wedding.

Justin took a breath, turned, and entered the room.

Blue sat in the bed, thinner than he remembered, dressed in a hospital gown, staring out the window. Short dark hair, high cheekbones, the slightest smattering of freckles on her nose—he’d liked to trace them when she’d lain in his arms, eyes closed.

Oh. Wow. He took a breath, and the action turned her attention to him.

“You colored your hair,” he said lamely.

Those beautiful blue-green eye widened.

“Before you say anything, please—hear me out.” He came a step closer.

“I’m so sorry, Blue. I should have called you.

Should have found you. Should have kept you safe, like I promised.

..” Oh, he’d promised, and he saw the truth of it in the hollowing of her face.

Not knowing what to do, he set the flowers on the table.

His hand shook and he fisted it. Swallowed.

“I thought by staying away I was keeping you safe. That somehow they wouldn’t find you if I didn’t contact you. Didn’t follow you.”

“Didn’t love me.” She coiled her hands into the covers, drew them up.

“Oh, Blue, no.” He came to her, kicking up a chair, sinking into it. “I never stopped loving you. Never stopped thinking about you.”

She closed her eyes, shook her head. “Conner said you were dead—but I knew...although, it gave me some reason why you never...why you left me.”

He swallowed. “I faked my death so that I—we—could be free.”

“I wasn’t free.”

He nodded. And then, because he had no other words beyond apology, he leaned down and pressed his forehead to her leg, his body trembling. “I’m so sorry, Blue. I’m so sorry.”

Shoot, and now he was probably crying. He tightened his jaw against a terrible heat in his chest.

Silence. He listened to his shuttered breaths, and realized he might be only making it worse. Hurting her with his regrets. The what-ifs.

He should go.

Then, her hand went to his hair, wove fingers through it. “You cut your hair, too.”

He lifted his head, looked at her. Tears hung on her beautiful lashes.

“I liked it long. Weaving my fingers through it.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “I missed you.”

His throat closed over any possible words.

“I kept the phone.”

He nodded.

“Because I never stopped trusting you.”

Oh, no—

“Because I knew you loved me, Justin. And I loved you back.”

Loved. He clenched his jaw. Forced out the words. “I did—” I do.

“And I still do. I never stopped loving you, Justin.” A hiccup of breath, so much emotion in her eyes, he couldn’t stop his own tears from glazing his eyes. She ran a thumb across his cheekbone. “I would have waited for you for a thousand years.”

The words tugged a smile up one side of his face. “A thousand—”

“More.”

Then, with a groan that ripped through him, he leaned forward and kissed her.

A desperate pouring out of seven-plus years of longing, of missing, of hoping.

Her arms went around his neck as she pulled him down, kissing him back with a ferocity, a passion that he’d never stopped loving about Blue. Pure tenacity, pure courage.

His Blue.

He lowered himself onto the bed, sitting, wrapping his arms around her, slowing them down and deepening their kiss. Lingering, savoring, remembering.

I love you, Blue. I’ll find you. I promise, I’ll find you.

She relaxed against him, slowing, catching his face. Leaning back. Smiling, finally.

It lit up his entire body.

His voice had left him, and he ran a thumb down her freckles. “We’re safe now, Blue. Blankenship is dead. And I...I’m out. I walked away from the NSA. That life. I’m free. And all yours.”

“ All mine?”

“Heart. Soul. Body.” Except. He took her hand, brought it to his lips. “Marry me, Blue. We’ll start over, have a good life. The one you deserve.”

She just stared at him, her mouth dropping open.

“Too soon?” He said. “I’ll wait—we’ll begin again—”

“No,” she said, and his heart stopped, a cold ball in his chest. Then, she caught his hand on her face. “I don’t need to wait. I know the only life I want is one with you. As long as you love me, I will follow you anywhere. Wait for you forever.” She smiled at him. “Yes, I will marry you.”

He met her eyes, sank into the love in them. “No more waiting.” And when he kissed her again, he knew the truth.

If something happens to me, call my brother.

Conner Young had kept his promise.