Page 32 of I’ll Be There (Montana Fire #4)

“Because you’re not the only one who listened to Grandpa.

Some of his preaching made it inside, and if I remember one thing, I remember this—true love pursues.

True love doesn’t give up, it always hopes, and most of all, it always protects.

You can’t control life, Conner. But you can promise to love her with everything you have. ”

And for the first time since Justin arrived, it all clicked into place. “Yes. Yes I can.”

“That’s my little brother. Always figuring it out.”

Please . Conner strode past him, but turned when Justin didn’t follow. His brother was staring out at the dawn, the finest wisp of gold threading through the trees, igniting the lake. Overhead the sky had turned a mottled red and orange, afire with hope.

“Sunrise,” Justin said softly under his breath.

The bowl formed almost without effort. Sleek, smooth, beautiful.

Liza turned off the wheel, grabbed a towel, and wiped her hands. Then, taking a drying board, she slid it under the bowl, gently breaking it from the throwing table, working it onto the paddle.

She got up and brought the creation over to her workbench.

Picked up an etch pen and cut in the words, her new phrase. I have come, that they might have life, and have it in the full.

Tears pricked. She blinked them away. John 10:10b.

She never wrote the first part of the verse.

The thief comes only to steal and destroy.

Her hand shook and she pulled it away before she could mar the bowl.

She dropped the pen on the workbench. Braced her hands and closed her eyes. No, she would not let the nightmares take her, steal—

Except they already had, hadn’t they? Stolen her future.

Her happy ending.

I’m sorry, Conner.

The memory of him kneeling in the parking lot could undo her if she let it find her thoughts.

So, work. Lots of it. She’d practically filled her shelves overnight. She couldn’t remember working so hard, for so long. Her arms ached, but the familiar ache, the peace of finding her center in the clay, manipulating it, forming it into something beautiful, had cleared her thoughts.

She would survive without Conner. Sure, she’d never quite be whole again, but like a pot, broken, pieced back together, she’d survive.

Really.

Just one breath at a time.

She counted the pots—two pitchers, twelve bowls, fourteen plates, eight mugs, and a large fruit bowl. All leathering out.

Outside, her wind chimes played a tune, and farther off, the tumble of the waves on the lake stirred memories. She shook them away.

Another breath.

Liza washed her hands, reddened, a little raw. Fingernails caked with clay. She scrubbed them clean, painfully aware it didn’t matter. She didn’t need clean hands.

She wasn’t getting married today.

Rinsing off, she ran a finger up her arm, the pink, slightly raised puckering of skin. Here I raise my Ebenezer, Hither by Thy help I’ve come. And I hope, by Thy good pleasure, Safely to arrive at home.

She shook her head. She’d made her decision.

It wasn’t fair to ask Conner to sacrifice who he was for her—because...

Because she’d chosen fear.

She closed her eyes. I’m sorry.

Hanging up her apron, she stood in the shop for a long moment.

At least she’d be able to finish her orders.

Another breath.

She closed the door to the workshop, stood in the mottled dawn watching a sparrow land in the feeder.

Do you love Me enough?

The voice seemed to sweep through her, more feeling, more heartbeat than words.

Do you love Me enough to love him?

She stilled, her hand on the railing, her chest thick.

When your heart’s desire is the will of the Lord above everything else, then life loses its threat, because His love will carry us through every situation.

She sank down on the stairway. Pressed her hands to her face, and forgot to breathe.

Oh, God, what have I done?

She curled her hands over her head, her body shaking as sobs tore free. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move with the immensity of—

“Liza? Oh, Liza . Baby, it’s going to be okay. Please, stop...stop crying.”

She lifted her head, fingers so tight in her chest she wanted to wail, a horror cresting over her as she stared...at Conner.

He appeared stricken, his eyes so red that she thought he might have spent the night crying, too. He’d showered—unlike her—smelled good, wearing a blue dress shirt, a pair of jeans. Hadn’t shaved, though, and she just barely stopped herself from reaching out, touching the rasp of his whiskers.

Not hers.

“What are you doing here?” She might have whispered it, but it came out as a cry in her heart. “You’re not supposed to—I thought—”

He swallowed, and she hated that she’d asked like that. He knelt in front of her. “I...”

“Read it, bro.”

She followed the voice, and didn’t know what to make of Justin standing there.

He wore a clean T-shirt, something she recognized as Conner’s.

And jeans, flip-flops. She must have been blind not to see the resemblance.

The blue eyes, the same golden-red whiskers, the half-smile that must be a Young family trait.

Conner seemed to struggle to get up. But he dug into his pocket. Pulled out a piece of paper. “Just listen.” He offered that same wisp of a smile. “You do that so well.”

She closed her eyes. Please, don’t do this...

“Liza, when I first met you, I was a man destroyed by my own broken promises. I didn’t believe in myself, in happy endings, or even, deep down, in a good God who still let bad things happen.”

Crisis of faith.

“And then you brought me donuts, Donut Girl.”

She opened her eyes. He stood there, the golden sunlight on his hair, his eyes glistening.

She pressed a hand over her mouth and listened.

“You brought me sunrises. And prayers. And friendship. And hope. You brought me love.” He glanced at her, met her eyes lightning fast, then looked back at his paper.

“And I started to realize that God had given me a fresh start. I didn’t have to live alone anymore, a place of broken promises and grief.

I loved you long before I could admit it.

” He glanced at her again. “I’m sorry it took me so long. ”

“Conner, please—”

“Just listen to him, Liza,” Justin said. “Please.” Low voice, but it held a hint of heartbreak, the deep resonance of a brother trying to help make things right.

In a way, perhaps Justin was to blame for Conner’s crazy save-everyone personality. But he looked just as wrung out as Conner.

These poor men, who’d given everything away to serve others—their brothers-in-arms, their country.

Do you love Me enough to love him?

Conner kept reading. “So, this day, our wedding day, I declare my broken, wandering heart home. I realized long ago that I don’t need a place to be happy—but I do need you. I need your faith. Your love. You. You bring me home, baby. Wherever I am.”

Breathe.

His jaw tightened and he took a breath. “I know I do dangerous things, sometimes even stupid things. And yes, you’re right. I’m the guy who runs in first to a fire—but only because the sooner it’s out, the sooner I can come home. Come back to you.”

Oh. And she hadn’t thought of that.

He swallowed, his voice turning hoarse.

“That’s the man you fell in love with, Liza. You’re right. I can’t be less than who I am.”

His words wove through her, clung. Because that was the problem. She didn’t want him to be less. How could she not love a man who would drop everything to save her? Or his brothers.

She wanted to weep with the immensity of it. The fact that if he were any different...

“I promise, Liza, as far as it depends on me, to be there. I promise to celebrate with you when you’re happy, and I promise to listen to you when you’re angry, and accept when it’s my fault.”

He looked up at her, his eyes so blue, thick with emotion. “I promise to pray for you, to support and believe in your dreams, and to never stand in your way, but to build a life with you that protects your amazing gifts and talents.” He took a breath.

She held hers.

“And in that way, I promise to protect you. I think it’s pretty clear that I can’t stop disasters from happening. I might even cause them, but so help me, I promise to do everything in my power to keep you safe. If it’s up to me, you’ll never sleep alone again.”

She pressed her fingers to her mouth. Glanced at Justin. He grinned, winked.

Oh.

“Most of all, I promise never to make you feel like you are second place, that you are less than, or not enough for me—because you are. You are God’s amazing, beautiful, precious gift to me, and I’m never going to stop being overwhelmed with the idea that you’d love me.

” He took a long breath, met her eyes again. “That you’d marry me.”

Do you love Me enough to love him?

“I promise that I will never stop loving you—I will choose to love you, with everything inside me—for the rest of my life. And, most of all, that I will never stop making—and keeping—promises to you.” He closed the note, running his finger over the crease. “For as long as we both shall live.”

When he looked up, tears brimmed his eyes. “Liza, I promise these things on my name, my love for you, and with the power of God at work in me.”

She nodded, painfully aware that she might sob again.

He knelt in front of her. “That’s all I have. I hope it’s enough.”

She wanted to nod.

“I meant it when I said I’d be at the church today. Please be there with me.”

Then he took her hand, pressed a kiss to it.

Conner.

“And if you show up, I promise, I’ll take care of the rest.”

He got up, took a breath. Glanced at Justin.

Justin raised an eyebrow at her, piquing the question, then turned. Conner followed him, disappearing around the corner.

And Liza couldn’t remember how to breathe.