Page 14

VIOLET

“W hy your room? Why can’t it be mine? Or a public space?”

At my questions, Kenji exhaled sharply, Quinn rolled his eyes theatrically, Nicholas groaned.

We were standing in the middle of a hallway in the dorm area, a few students walking past us with quizzical stares.

“Because your room is a damn shoebox” Nicholas muttered. “And a public space? Really? Come on, Princess, you’re smarter than this.”

He wasn’t wrong—about both things. I didn’t know why I was so against the idea. Maybe it was because their living unit was isolated, and I didn’t really trust myself with those three. Maybe because I’d feel disadvantaged in their room, like a general discussing possible alliances in enemy territory.

They aren’t your enemies, Violet.

Too bad it seemed like they were. I hadn’t forgotten what, in my chest, burned deep and fiery like a betrayal. I didn’t want to talk to them. I didn’t even want to be in their presence, so great was the humiliation I felt within. I was there simply because I had no choice: if I wanted to get Daisy back, I needed them. I wasn’t so stupid to think I could succeed in such a mission with my inexistent knowledge about the fae.

“Fine” I gave in, getting past them with wide steps. “Let’s hurry up, though.”

For Daisy, I told myself. You’re doing it for Daisy. She’d do the same for you.

The place was exactly as I remembered: clean, tidy, spacious, familiar. The last lights of the dying day came through the windows in the open space and softened every surface, painting it all red.

“Can we get you anything?” Quinn asked. “Water? A snack? You could as well stay for dinner. Should I get something started?”

“No, thanks.” I sat on the only armchair. “I don’t plan on staying long. How do we do this?”

A thick, heavy silence followed. Finally, Kenji took a seat on the couch, elbows digging in his thighs. “You should be aware of what’s at risk.”

“I’m… I’m listening.”

“We could be expelled” he explained, his voice calm and steady, like such eventuality didn’t concern him in the slightest. “Found guilty of treason, too.”

“Hell, we could cause a war.”

“Or get kidnapped in our turn.”

I swallowed. I regretted not taking that glass of water: my throat had never been drier. “I don’t expect you to do this with me. I just need to know what I can do to get Daisy back. How to find her.”

“Are you allergic to paying attention?” Nicholas snapped. He closed his eyes and took a long breath before speaking again. “We told you already. You’re not doing this alone.”

“I don’t want to be responsible for your expulsion or worse.”

Quinn perched on the chair's armrest, apparently unaware of the concept of personal space. “You seem to believe we will get caught, which may be understandable, but at the same time, it is far from the truth.”

I scooted a little to the right. “There is a concrete possibility—”

“You know, love, you should give us some credit” he cut me off, flashing a grin that had me look away. “We’re pretty good at what we do.”

It took me two whole seconds to give in. What was the point of arguing? I wouldn’t win, not against them. I would only be wasting time, a luxury I couldn’t afford at the moment.

“Fine” I huffed, crossing my arms. “I’m aware of the risks. How do we get to the fae realm?”

Kenji slowly looked up, long fingers rhythmically tapping on his jaw. “We don’t.”

The answer was so direct, so unexpected, I was left speechless for a moment. “What?” I finally managed.

“He means we can’t go through a traditional portal” Nicholas explained. He kicked his shoes off and jumped on the couch, sitting on the backrest’s edge. “The fae would know the moment we crossed the threshold.”

“Then how?”

"There are alternate ways." Kenji's tone seemed a bit strained, as if it was costing him trouble to utter those words. "One in particular that would grant us a quiet and quick access."

I patiently waited for an explanation that didn’t come, not even after tossing around puzzled looks. “So? What are you talking about?”

"The Exiled" Nicholas grunted, and given how he clenched his jaw, I could tell he would've gladly taken a bullet rather than answer me.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about” I admitted. I had to physically restrain my right knee from bouncing up and down, restless with anxiety.

"A warlock too reckless for his own good." Quinn removed a hair from my shoulder, fingers lingering to smooth the sweater's fabric. "And who doesn't particularly enjoy following rules."

Kenji exhaled sharply from his nose. “He’s banned from town. Would burst into flames upon crossing the border.”

I tried repressing a shudder at the thought. “What did he ever do to deserve this?”

“It’s not about what he did or didn’t do” Nicholas replied, cracking his tattooed knuckles. “He wouldn’t stay in the Claustra for more than twenty-four hours.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’d create a portal to walk out freely, and the Council couldn’t find a way to restrain him.” Quinn let his fingers slide down my arm, withdrawing his hand when I scooted again. “So they simply cast him out.”

“Can’t he just… I don’t know, open a portal and come back here?”

“Probably.” Kenji intertwined his fingers loosely. “He won’t, though. He has no interest in coming back here.”

I nodded, taking a moment to let everything sink in. Quinn’s closeness and constant attempts to touch me weren’t helping me focus.

“Let’s go to him, then” I mumbled. “Do we know where he is?”

“Up north, though the exact location doesn’t really matter.” Nicholas’s eyes were almost glowing in the darker and darker room. “You don’t find him. He finds you.”

It sounded ominous, but I forced myself to nod, nevertheless. "Okay. That's good, no? We go there, he finds us, and we ask him to open a portal to the fae realm."

He scoffed and averted his eyes, slightly shaking his head.

“The Exiled doesn’t open portals out of the goodness of his heart, love” Quinn chimed in. “He offers deals. If you want something from him, you have to pay.”

I licked my lower lip. “I have no money.”

“It’s not money he’s after” Nicholas said, a trace of irritation in his voice. “Nobody really knows what he wants. The things he asks change every time in people’s stories.”

Straightening my back, I gave them a small nod. “I’ll give him whatever he wants.”

Three loud nos echoed across the room.

“Don’t even fucking think about it” Nicholas added, pointing a finger in my direction. “No. Just no. You say something like that to him, and you end up selling your soul.” A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Or your body.”

Kenji, as always, was more concise. “Don’t.”

“It wouldn’t be wise” Quinn concluded. “We could offer information instead.”

“We’ll figure something out when it comes to it. You keep your mouth shut, Princess. I’d suggest you stayed here if I didn’t know the kind of fight you’d put up.”

I glowered at Nicholas. “I’m not staying. It’s my best friend we’re talking about.”

“Exactly” he replied, sliding down the backrest and landing next to Kenji. “But you keep your mouth shut. You don’t try to deal with him, no matter the circumstances.”

I was suddenly reminded of what had happened mere hours earlier, and a pang of humiliation shot through my chest. “We’ll see about that” I replied, gaze and voice low. “Are we going now?”

“No” Kenji replied. “Tomorrow morning at six. It’s a three-hour drive.”

It seemed like a waste of time, but I tried not to argue. “Fine. I’m taking my pick-up.”

“You sure as shit aren’t.”

“You can’t really stop me, can you?” I mumbled, standing and pulling down my skirt. “Should I bring a change? Toiletries? How long are we going to be gone?”

Quinn emulated me immediately. “Ideally, we’ll be back by tomorrow night. Bring something just to be sure, though I wouldn’t be mad if you didn’t bring anything at all.”

“I’ll think about it.” I flashed a fake, forced smile. “Maybe it will convince the Exiled to open a portal for us.”

The magic surge that followed made me regret my stupid attempt to counter Quinn’s provocation. It wasn’t worth the air turning electric and making it nearly impossible to breathe.

“Is that what you were trying to do today?” Nicholas jumped up, walking toward me in big steps. “Convince that prick to do something for you?” He grabbed the hem of my skirt, and for a moment, I thought he was going to pull it down. “You were basically naked in front of him.”

I took a step back. How dare he? No, scratch that; how dare they? Judging by the stare I was getting from Quinn and Kenji, both thought the same thing. "First off, I already told you I dress however I want. Second, Caleb's not a prick. He's my friend. And I sure as hell wasn't trying to convince him to do anything." I pointed a finger at him. "I just wanted to feel pretty after how you three treated me. Is that a crime?"

“Wow.” Quinn had a half smile on his face. “You’re sexy when you stand up for yourself, love.”

I stopped for a moment, his words catching me off-guard. His remark somehow made me even more angry, but one part of what he'd said was true: I was standing up for myself. And not once did I stop to wonder what they would think of me. I was too busy speaking my mind to care.

I guess three attempted murders will do that to you.

“If we’re done here, I have a few things to—”

“No” Kenji interrupted me. “Sit back down. We need to talk.”

I shook my head. I had to admit, a part of me was slightly intimidated by that cold, lethal tone of his, but I stood my ground. “Is it about Daisy’s rescue?”

“No, but—”

“Then I’m not interested.” It was my turn to cut him off. “See you tomorrow.”

I only managed three steps before a hand closed around my wrist, gently pulling me back. “You’re not going until we straighten things out” Nicholas grumbled, so close I could feel his breath on my exposed neck. “So don’t even try.”

I didn’t react for a second. I let his words settle, feeding the fire already burning in the pit of my stomach. Then, I turned so fast that my head got dizzy for a second. “I don’t want to talk, especially not to you.”

He lowered his eyelids. At first, I mistook it for his usual annoyed, planning-to-kill-you-while-you-sleep expression, but his mouth betrayed him. It was trembling ever so slightly. He wasn’t mad, no—he was hurt.

“And let’s hear it, why would I get a fucking special treatment?”

“What you said a minute ago.” I swallowed, hoping the quiver in my voice would go unnoticed. “It was out of line, Nicholas. You don’t talk to me that way.”

He looked taken aback for a second, just a split second, before slipping back on his usual insolent mask. “Want me to apologise for telling the truth?”

“Nicki boy, maybe—”

“No” I blurted out. “No. I want to know. Do you really think I could use my body to coerce someone to do something for me?”

“Princess, that’s not what I was referring to.”

I didn’t listen. My rage was a river in flood with nowhere to go. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to. I’d already grown too heavy with everything I hid deep inside. “Do you think I’m the type to undress to obtain what I want?”

Nicholas’s lips were parted, maybe in an attempt to protest, but he was quiet.

“Maybe we should put it to the test” I went on, unable to stop myself. “See if it works. Maybe then I’ll get a half-decent apology.”

I didn’t know what I was doing. A part of me was screaming to stop, to just get it together and leave that room before I did something stupid, but I wasn’t in my right mind to listen to it.

Instead, I kicked my boots off and pulled the pencil to untie the updo and let my hair down. "I want you to say sorry, Nicholas" I demanded, hands grabbing the hem of the tight sweater and pulling it up. "I want you to apologize. All of you, actually." I tossed the sweater aside, cold air gnawing at my skin. "Have I undressed enough? Do more layers need to come off?"

“Violet.” Kenji’s voice was strained, his gaze a puzzle that, as always, I wouldn’t be able to solve. “Stop it immediately.”

“Got it.” I peeled off my tank top, revealing the plain grey bra underneath, and the shift in energy hit me like a truck. The buzz threatened to make my organs implode. “How about n—”

“That’s enough” Nicholas hissed, moving toward me. “I’m serious.”

“Apparently, it’s not enough, since I still haven’t got my apology.” I reached behind my back to unhook the bra, barely managing before he grabbed my elbows, pressing them against my waist. I tried pulling back, but he was pointless: his grip was too strong for me. “Let go.”

“Stop fucking undressing” he growled, his face inches away from mine. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“You said it!” I shouted, pulling back as hard as I could. Still nothing. He wasn’t letting go. “You said that to my face, and now you’re telling me you didn’t mean it?”

He opened his mouth and then closed it immediately after, breathing hard from his nose. Strands of dark hair dangled in front of his face as if even the hair gel had given up trying to fight with his temper. “I was mad. When you’re mad, you say things you don’t fucking mean.”

"You were mad" I repeated, an incredulous laugh in my voice. "You! After the way you humiliated me," I looked at Kenji and Quinn over Nicholas's shoulder, "you have the audacity to be mad?"

“I’m sorry, okay?” he snapped, leaning in so close our noses touched. “And I’m not fucking saying it because you got undressed. I’m not.” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine, fingers digging into my flesh like simple physical contact wasn’t enough for him, like he wanted to melt into me. “I didn’t mean that. You know I didn’t.”

Rage was subsiding, leaving space for sadness, shame, and disappointment. What was I even trying to prove? I blinked several times, trying to stop myself from crying, but ultimately failed: two hot tears were rolling down my cheeks before I knew it. At the same time, my bra straps lost their fight with gravity and slid off my shoulders, slipping down my arms and threatening to expose me.

Wasn’t that what you were trying to do?

My discomfort had to be evident: Kenji was behind me in less than a second, warm fingers pulling back up the straps, then hooking the bra with enviable smoothness; Quinn gathered my tank top and sweater off the floor, getting me dressed in slow, gentle movements. Nicholas, on his part, stared at me for what felt like the longest time. When he finally moved, it was to do the last thing I expected from him: he kissed my tears with a tenderness I didn’t know he was capable of.

“I thought you’d jump at the opportunity to see me undress” I stupidly commented, staring into nothingness. “I didn’t think the idea would offend you that much.”

“We aren’t offended, love.” Quinn smoothed the back of my sweater, his hands stopping to rest on my hips. “We knew you’d regret it.” He leaned in so close his lips brushed the shell of my ear in an intangible kiss. “Next time you undress before us, it will be because you want to, not out of anger and spite.”

For a moment, I basked in the feeling of having all of them close, their hands touching me, their gazes following my every movement. For a moment, I pretended I wasn’t still mad at them. Pretended to forget it all just so that I could enjoy being there a while longer.

"Violet." Kenji's long finger pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, traveling down my throat and leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. "About earlier."

It was enough to shake me awake from that dream-like state: I moved sideways and then back, physically removing myself from the situation. It was too much. I couldn’t deal with that, too.

“No” I said, backtracking toward the door. “I don’t want to hear it. Not right now.”

“But if you just let us explain—”

“No” I repeated, talking over Quinn. “See you tomorrow. I’d be coming with my own car if it wasn’t clear.” I took a deep breath, a useless attempt to calm myself down. “Goodnight.”

They tried calling me back, but I didn’t stop to listen.

I was done for the day.