Page 166 of If You Claim Me

“We can talk to Rix,” Flip says. “She’ll help you with the financial side.”

“I started the foster parent application process last year. I didn’t have the finances to support it then, but I do now. I know Victor and Everly will age out in the next few years, but I could still love them. I could be their soft place to land. I can give them a home they can always come back to.”

Flip hugs me. “You would be great for them. Tell me how I can help, and I’ll do everything in my power to make this happen for you.”

CHAPTER 47

CONNOR

I’d gotten used to feeling like part of the team, but now I’m back where I started when I first joined the Terror. On the outs. The problem.

Madden has been firing eyeball daggers at me the entire practice. Even Stiles and Bright, who usually don’t take sides, are stonewalling me. Coach Vander Zee seems to think my on-ice issues have everything to do with the Grace family scandal that’s making headlines. My mother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and has been staying with Portia and Bryson. Isabelle has gone into hiding and refuses to leave the house. I wish I was less surprised by the whole thing. It’s not as high on my radar as it should be, though, because my own life is in shambles. My teammates know, but other than Meems, my family is unaware.

Even Romero is pissed. “You’re your own worst enemy, man,” he grumbles as we head to the locker room after a messy practice.

“I know.” Meems spelled that out for me yesterday, and I’ve had the past twenty-four hours to think about how right she is.

“You need to figure your shit out,” Ryker adds.

“I know.”

Ryker sighs and shakes his head.

He and Romero are the only two people on the team still talking to me, and nothing they have to say is kind. It’s also not untrue.

I keep my mouth shut as we strip out of our gear. Coach Vander Zee comes in and reads us the riot act, then asks to see me in his office. I nod and close my eyes a moment. If I get traded again, it’ll be my own damn fault. And it’ll mean I won’t be close to Meems anymore. But if I end up on the other side of the country, Mildred won’t have to deal with me, and maybe that would be better for her.

I’m still sitting on the bench, spinning worst-case scenarios and hating myself, when Madden appears in my peripheral vision. We’re both in boxer briefs. The rest of the team is in the showers.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” he informs me.

“Yup.”

“I know what you did for Tristan and Rix at their wedding.”

I shrug. “My family owns half the hotels in Aruba. If I hadn’t done it, I would have been an even bigger asshole than I already am.”

Flip crosses his arms. “I mean with his mother.”

That gets my attention. “He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that.”

“Well, he told me, and Dred knows, too. That was an amazing thing to do, you fucking dickbag.”

“The wedding would have been ruined otherwise.” I scrub a hand down my face. “I could have done the same thing for Mildred, you know. I could have just stepped in and paid off the debt for her, no questions asked.”

“She wouldn’t have accepted the money.”

“But I could have fixed the entire problem without her even realizing I’d done it. I could have made it go away like that.” I snap my fingers. “But I didn’t. I locked her into a contract. I made hermine.”

Flip hauls off and punches me in the face. Like I wanted him to. I see stars, and the ache is immediate and vicious.

“You should do that again,” I goad. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“Push my buttons all you want.” He shakes out his hand. “But the only reason you’re doing it is because you hate yourself, and you want someone else to take away the emotional hurt you’ve caused by distracting you with physical pain. You locked Dred into a contract because you wanted her. Not to piss me off—although I’m sure that gave you a little thrill—but because you actually liked her, and it was the most logical way in your messed-up brain to have her. Man the fuck up, Connor. Take some responsibility for yourself.” His eyes are on fire, and he looks particularly wrathful. “You broke my best friend’s heart. I know you’ve got your fair share of issues, and your family is a mess right now, but what you did to Dred is un-fucking-forgivable.”

My stomach bottoms out with that statement. “She’s better off without me.”

He sneers at me. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”