Page 138 of If You Claim Me

“They don’t always function independently of each other.”

People outside of this career don’t realize how easy it can be to go from the top to the bottom. And with all the positive press he’s been getting comes a resurgence of the negative coverage from the past.

“So both then?” I ask.

She nods and tries to get closer, so I pull her into my lap. I want this with her, these moments when she lets her guard down and shares with me, even if it’s about the person I’m most jealous of. Maybe especially then.

“Are you worried about him?”

“Yeah.” She shifts and kisses my neck, inhaling deeply. I can’t see her face to understand what’s going on in her head. “He started to see what we all see about Tally at Rix and Tristan’s wedding, and now that he’s aware, he can’t make himself unaware.”

“Ah. That’s tricky.”

“And now he’s realizing how his past choices could affect his present and his future. He doesn’t feel like he deserves to have a person,” she says.

I nod. He and I have that in common. The difference is, I’m selfish enough to try anyway. “Time can change a lot of things.”

She skims the edge of my jaw with a finger.

“What else is going on in that busy head of yours?” I ask.

“The holidays will be different this year.”

“What do they usually look like for you?” I run my fingers through her hair.

She lifts her head, kissing my chin. “Typically on Christmas Eve I put food baskets together for the unhoused people who frequent the library, drop off gifts at the group home, and eat Thai takeout.”

“Seemed like fate threw us together last year.”

“Mm-hmm… It did,” she agrees.

Last year we ran into Roman at a local Thai restaurant and ended up at his place for Christmas Eve. It inspired a plan to make Lexi and her sisters’ Christmas less difficult since it was their second holiday without their parents.

“What about Christmas Day?” I ask.

“I usually go to the soup kitchen in the morning and help prepare dinner.”

I stroke her cheek. “Do you ever do anything for yourself?”

“All of that is for me. I get to brighten other people’s days, and I’m not alone during the holidays.”

I want to tell her she doesn’t have to be alone ever again. I’ll spend every Christmas with her for the rest of my life.

She traces the shell of my ear with a fingertip.

I can’t promise her this Christmas will be easy, but I can take her mind off the things that weigh her down—and my own as well.

I press my lips gently to hers. Her warm, soft hand curves around the back of my neck and she angles her head, allowing the kiss to deepen. Weeks have turned into months and time is slipping through my fingers. I don’t want to lose her, but I don’t know how to deserve to keep her.

Mildred shifts to straddle my lap as we explore each other’s mouths. I run my hands down her sides, settling on her hips, needing her closer.

We break long enough to rid each other of our shirts, and herbra. Before she can reclaim my lips, I dip down and capture a nipple, laving the tight peak, then sucking softly.

I need her under me, her hands in my hair, my name a moan on her pretty lips. Laying her on the couch, I stretch out over her and carefully remove her glasses, setting them on the table behind her head. I brush my lips over hers. “Let me take care of you, darling.”

Her fingers slide into my hair as I kiss a path down her throat. I tease her nipples, relishing every gasp and moan, alternating gentle suction with sharp bites.

When I reach her navel, I rid her of her jeans and panties and sink to the floor, hooking one of her legs over my shoulder and pressing her other thigh open, her knee against the back of the couch. I turn my head and bite the inside of her thigh, making her gasp and roll her hips.