I was once again waiting for Meadow to arrive for our treatment. She’d called and said she’d be here by four-thirty. A patient canceled, so she was able to leave a bit early. I’d wondered how she was doing and how her holiday had gone since her Wednesday visit. She’d been so distracted and upset the last time that I couldn’t stop thinking about what could be the cause. She claimed it wasn’t a patient, so that left a coworker, friend, or someone in her family.
The family thing preyed on me. I kept trying to stop thinking about whether she had a significant other in her life. I told myself the family she referred to could be her parents, siblings, or even a child, but not a special someone. If it did include one, I hoped he or she was more than good to her.
I hadn’t known Meadow long, but she was someone special. She cared about people. She could come across as snarky, but only if you got her to play with you. She took pride in her work, and you could tell she loved what she did. It wasn’t a chore like Ladd made it seem. There was something that made me think she was lonely, but I didn’t know what.
All this kept me thinking about her on and off, but mainly on, the whole time she was away. I’d watched my Warrior family celebrate Christmas and marveled at how different yet amazing it was. After Christmas here, Bull, Jocelyn, Devyn, Ace, Demon, Zara, and their assorted kids went to Dublin Falls to spend a few days with Terror, Harlow, and their kids. The rest of us kicked back to enjoy yesterday since almost everyone had returned to work today, leaving me in a too-quiet clubhouse with nothing to occupy my time.
I was so focused on my thoughts that I was startled when my phone buzzed with an incoming message. I took it out to see that it was from Gavin.
Gavin: Your therapist just drove in.
Me: Thanks.
Shoving it back in my cut, I ambled outside to meet her. I waited for her to park. She took her usual spot, so I was there to get the door for her. She smiled, but I saw what I thought were shadows behind her eyes. Something was still bothering her, or she had a new issue to worry about. I was determined to get her to talk to me about it this time.
“Hey there, come in. It’s good to see you. How are you?” I asked.
“I’m well, Iceman. And you? You didn’t push too much, did you?” I heard the concern in her tone.
“I’m doing great, and no, I didn’t push my workouts. I stuck to what you said I could do. How was your holiday? Did you and the family enjoy your time together?”
“Once we got going with it, our holiday was great. How about you? Did you spend it with family or here?” she asked.
“It was wonderful. It always is with this bunch. They’re my family. With kids now being part of the club, the season is more hectic but fun. Ate way too much.”
“So did we.”
We’d been talking as we walked, so we were already close to the gym. I was so into her that it wasn’t until we stepped inside that I realized voices were coming from the room. Glancing around, I saw Loki and Renegade. It was kind of early for them to be home. Most people around the compound didn’t start arriving until after five o’clock. They grinned and came over to speak as soon as they saw us. I gave them a narrow-eyed look, hoping to warn them not to stick around.
“Hey, you two. Is it that time?” Renegade asked innocently. The bastard knew what time I had sessions with her. Loki, at least, didn’t pretend he didn’t.
“Hello. Yes, it is. I got off a little early today. Are you staying? Or are you done with your workouts?” she asked.
“We’re not done yet,” Loki said.
“There’s room for all of you. Just don’t distract Iceman. He needs to concentrate so he doesn’t hurt himself by doing an exercise wrong,” she told them before I could tell them to get lost. Resigning myself to having them watch us, I went to the treadmill, but she stopped me.
“I don’t think we need to do that today. Instead, we’ll work on throwing this ball back and forth to warm up your muscles. I want you to stretch. There’s no weight to it. Once you can handle it, we’ll add a weighted one. I’ll toss one, and I want you to catch it, then wait before you throw it back to me. Ready?”
“When you are,” I told her.
She put a good ten feet between us and launched it. Despite our height difference, she threw it high enough that I had to reach to get it. I felt the stretch. I waited.
“Do you feel any pain? And don’t lie,” she warned.
“Not pain, but I did feel stretching right here.” I pointed to my chest close to my scar.
“I expect you to feel it there. We’ll do this fifteen times as long as it doesn’t cause sharp pain or burning. When you catch it, I want you to bring your hands down here and then toss it back to me from this position.” She was holding her hands in front of her pubic area.
Doing as she said, I dropped my arms and sent the ball back to her. After fifteen throws, she came to test my muscle tension by pressing her fingers into the ones in my upper chest and shoulder. She nodded.
“I think we should do ten more, and then we’ll move to the next exercise,” Meadow said, sounding satisfied.
From there, we kept going. She kept it interesting, and I didn’t have time to be bored. She made it challenging but not harmful. She knew exactly how to stay on the correct side of that mark. Loki and Renegade kept to themselves, but I felt their gazes on us more than a few times. They talked in low murmurs if they said anything. By the time we were done, I was warm. She made me sit down so she could massage me. That’s when they cautiously approached again.
“Is it safe to talk, or will it mess him up?” Loki asked.
“No, you can talk to him now. I’m just loosening the muscles, and then he’ll ice it. How were your workouts?” Meadow asked sweetly.
“Good. We were watching you with Iceman. Do you do the same thing every time?” Renegade asked.
I wanted to tell them to go away. I didn’t feel like sharing her with them. I held my tongue. I’d talk to them after she left.
“Some of them, but not all. It depends.”
“How’s your chest and arm feel, brother?” Loki asked.
“It’s overall good. It’s been much better since Meadow massages after every treatment, and then I ice it immediately for twenty minutes twice a day. I can sleep better and even stand lying on that side,” I admitted.
“How long have you been a PT? Does it take long to become one? You don’t look very old,” Renegade asked.
“I’m twenty-seven. It usually takes seven years to become a PT. First, you have to have a bachelor’s degree in an associated field and then get your doctorate in physical therapy, which usually takes three years. I’ve been a licensed PT for five years.”
“Wait. How can that be if you’re only twenty-seven?” I asked after doing the math.
“I started taking dual credit high school and college classes my junior year. I graduated from high school at sixteen, which earned me a year of college credits by the time high school was done,” Meadow explained like it was no big deal.
My brothers whistled while I stared at her in awe. Why hadn’t I thought to ask her these questions? The more I learned about her, the more I wanted to know her, and the deeper she fascinated me.
“Damn, Meadow, that’s incredible. Your parents must be super proud of having a genius child,” I remarked.
She rolled her eyes. “No, they never said anything about being proud. And I’m not a genius, just super motivated.”
“What the fuck?” I muttered.
“Are you kidding?” Loki added.
“They’re stupid,” Renegade uttered.
Worried we might be making her uncomfortable, I gave her an out. “Listen, if we’re getting too personal, just tell us. We just can’t imagine parents not being proud of their kid, especially someone like you.”
She smiled. “You’re all very sweet, and you’re not being too personal. The reality is my parents were never supporters of higher education. They weren’t old enough to have been the original flower children, but they embraced that mindset. Work, education, mortgages, and being responsible adults weren’t their things. They had me rather young, and my whole life, we constantly moved, and they never held down a job for long. They were the ones who made me crave stability. I knew I wouldn’t get that from them even as a young kid, so it was up to me to do it myself. When they had my twin sisters, it became my job to ensure they were cared for and not end up like our parents. Thank God they didn’t.”
“You have twin sisters?” Renegade asked excitedly.
She squinted at him. “Don’t get any ideas, or I’ll break your arms and legs. You’re too old for them, all of you.”
I barely held back from telling her that if I couldn’t have her, I sure as hell wouldn’t want her sisters. Christ, she was making me want her even more.
“How old is too old?” Loki asked.
“Well, I assume you’re all over thirty, right?”
“Thirty-one,” Renegade answered.
“Thirty-two,” I added, although I figured she knew my age from my file.
“I’m thirty-two like Ice,” Loki finished off.
“Yep, you’re all too old for them,” she said decisively.
“What age are we talking about?” Renegade pestered.
“They’re nineteen.”
“Oh hell no, can’t see it. Maybe if they were your age and we were the equivalent years apart, but they haven’t even had a chance to live yet,” Loki asserted.
“Hey, we have bigger age gaps around here than that, but I agree with Loki. I guess that means it’s you and me, Meadow,” Ren told her as he winked.
I couldn’t hold back my growl. I started to rise off the bench, but she pushed down on me. “Ren, I’d stop while you’re ahead,” I snapped. Before he could respond, she did. She patted my arm.
“It’s alright. I’m not taking him seriously. If he gets out of line too much, I can knock him back in. There’s no need to get your hands dirty. I’d hate to mess up all the progress you’ve made. Alright, we’re done here. It’s been nice talking to you guys, but I have to get home. Don’t forget to ice yourself, Iceman. Maybe I’ll see you guys again. Try to stay out of trouble.” She grinned.
Giving my brothers warning looks to stay, I stood and escorted her to her car like I did every time. We reaffirmed the next visits and then said goodbye. When she was gone, I marched back to the gym. They’d stayed. I went rushing up to Renegade and got in his face.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!? It’s bad enough you came to watch my whole session, but then you had to make her feel awkward by coming onto her and making comments about her sisters. If you make her stop seeing me, I swear I’ll knock your damn head off, Ren!” I shouted.
“Whoa, calm down. I didn’t make her feel creeped out. I was complimenting her while confirming something important,” he replied.
“Oh yeah, and what exactly were you confirming?” I asked snidely.
His unruffled expression morphed into a grinning one. What the hell was his problem? I rumbled low in the back of my throat and took a step closer to him. Loki got between us.
“You’d better tell him before he knocks your head off, Renegade.”
My soon-to-be ex-best friend peeked around Loki and shocked the shit out of me. “I was confirming that you have the hots for your PT. But it goes deeper than that. You want her for yourself and not just for a night or three. It’s a long-term arrangement you’re looking for.”
I scrambled internally to deny it. “Like hell I do.”
“Then you won’t care if I hit that up. I’ll make sure to wait until you’re done with your treatments to make you happy,” Renegade said nonchalantly.
Loki wrapped his arms around me and pushed me backward as if he thought I’d go around him to get to Renegade. “You’ll keep your goddamn fucking hands off Meadow. If you don’t, you won’t like what I’ll do to you,” I hissed.
“That I believe. Hell, brother, if you’ve got a thing for her, then say it. Why keep it from your two closest friends? We watched you. You never took your gaze off her. Anytime she appeared to move closer to us, you’d get her attention so she’d come back toward you. You’re possessive of her. If she meant nothing other than as your therapist, you’d be more than fine with me getting with her after you’re done,” Renegade argued.
“He’s right, Ice. Just admit it. We won’t say anything. Whatever you say stays between the three of us,” Loki assured me. Renegade nodded his head.
As quickly as my temper had flared, it died back down. I eased away from Loki. I rubbed my face. I was usually one who was very hard to make angry. It took a lot to get me fired up enough to show it. I might get upset, but typically, I’d hide it. It was partially how I earned my road name. But the thought of anyone with her made me feel out of control. I sat down on the weight bench nearby.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to get her out of my head. Even when she’s not around, I think about her. I want to know more about her. Shit, I’m dreading when my sessions end. I went from wanting nothing to do with therapy to this. The thought of not seeing or spending time with Meadow makes me feel sick to my stomach,” I confessed. I hated that I sounded like a pussy, but it was the truth.
A hand came down on my good side. Glancing up, I saw Loki giving me a serious look. “Then I think your answer is clear. We know from watching enough brothers fall that when one of us gets possessive and can’t forget someone, that person is meant to be theirs. Don’t fight it. If you do, you’ll end up regretting it. You don’t want to do that. It sucks.”
The way he said it and the sad look of regret made me think he spoke from personal experience. He’d never mentioned being in love, but it might be too personal to talk about, especially if it was still raw. I’d talk to him alone and offer him an ear.
“Loki is right for once.” Ren elbowed him. He was trying to make Loki smile. “Do you think about her when you’re with other women? If you do, then…” he asked me.
“I haven’t been with anyone since I met her, so I don’t know,” I admitted.
“Well, if you want to know for sure, then go fuck one of the bunnies or whoever and see if you do,” Renegade suggested.
Immediately, I was back to being angry. I stood up and faced him. “I’m not fucking someone else! I already know what’ll happen,” I snapped.
“Then, if you already know, you don’t have an excuse not to go for it with Meadow. She’s beautiful, smart, interesting, and sexy. Do I need to continue?”
“Iceman, Renegade is blundering through this, but his reasoning is good. We care about you and don’t want you to miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime,” Loki said.
I sighed and sat down. “The thing is, I don’t know if she’s involved with someone. She doesn’t wear a ring, but that doesn’t mean anything. She could be married, engaged, or living with someone. Hell, for all we know, she could be a lesbian. She talks about her family at home. We just found out it’s not the parents. She might mean her sisters, but what if she doesn’t?”
“Get blunt and ask her. Or, if you prefer, we’ll do it the next time she’s here. I know you would never make a move on a married woman. But if she’s not married, just involved, would you try to win her?” Loki asked.
I thought for several moments before I nodded. “Yeah, I would. As for not breaking up a marriage, there’s an exception. If he or she were cruel, abusive, or Meadow was miserable with the person, then I’d have no problem doing it.”
“What about kids?” Renegade asked.
“What about them?” I asked, confused.
“What if she has one or two?” he replied.
“Why the fuck would I care? If they’re hers, then they’re a package deal. Look around. We have plenty of kids who joined our family that way. They’re not any less loved than the others.”
“Well, brother, the course you have to take is clear. Find out her home situation, and go for it if it’s anything but happily married. Because I’d hate to see it if you don’t and some other man comes along and sweeps her up,” Renegade warned.
“When you say another man, it better not be you or one of my other brothers,” I warned.
“It won’t be. Now, go ice your shoulder and shit. If you have a setback because you didn’t, Meadow will kick your ass and ours,” Ren said.
I had a lot to think about, and I needed to be alone to do it. I told them I’d see them later, and then I went to my room. First, I iced my arm, then took a shower, and then got to planning. Those two had given me the push I needed.
???
I’d left my room to spend time in the common room with the rest of the club. It was evening time, and I knew most would be gathered there. After thinking about Meadow and starting to form my plan, I needed a break.
We were gathered in groups. Saylor was at a table with the old ladies. Player and a few others were nearby. I could hear what they were saying. I was at another table with Renegade and Loki. We were listening to Saylor tell them about her life growing up. Her mom sounded like a piece of work. Blaming her kid for never being able to keep a man was ridiculous. However, when it came to families, I knew hers could’ve been far worse. Saylor explained that she didn’t know anything about her dad other than that he’d been a sailor and his first name was Michael.
The conversation was interrupted by a phone ringing. It became evident it was Saylor’s when a voice announced who the call was from. Since she was blind, her cell phone was unique and did all kinds of cool things, such as telling the person who was calling. We all reacted to the announcement that the call was from Leavenworth Penitentiary. Most people knew that it was a prison for military prisoners. Who would be calling her from there?
Saylor froze, so Player answered. It didn’t take long for us to discover the new warden had called to let her know a prisoner by the name of Bosch had escaped a month ago. None of us expected the reaction that caused in her. Suddenly, she seemed to space out, followed by her screaming, and then she fell out of her chair to commando crawl on the floor.
Freya, her dog, went crazy, howling and trying to get to her mistress. Player ran to Saylor while Vex went to Freya to calm her. The rest of us were either frozen or moving toward them.
As Player picked Saylor up, Payne shouted to Player, “Be careful. She’s having a flashback! Try to get her back. Talk to her, Player. Ladies, get the kids out of here. Now,” he ordered.
His order cleared the room of women and children in a hurry. They knew now wasn’t the time to argue. They wanted to help Saylor, but this was the safest way. It made me sick to hear her scream, cry, and swear. She’d call out for Freya and then babble other things, which made it crystal clear she was reliving the ambush that took her sight and ended her military career.
We gathered around Player as he rocked Saylor and tried to calm her. He kept talking to her. Sometimes, he’d beg. Other times, he’d yell, gently shake, or promise her something if she’d come back to him, but nothing was snapping her out of it. What finally did it was when he kissed her. If I ever doubted that Player had feelings for her, that kiss ended it.
When she finally snapped out of it back to awareness, she muttered about being ashamed and how she was afraid she’d hurt someone. It took Player, Payne, and others who’d served to convince her she had no reason to be afraid or ashamed. Once she settled, it looked like Player wasn’t going to ask her who Bosch was. Before I thought, I opened my mouth.
“Babe, we know that was emotional for you. I don’t want to make you relive it more, but we’ve got to know. Who the hell is Bosch, and why is the Leavenworth warden calling you to tell you he escaped?” I asked.
I knew it was a mistake before Player growled at me. If he weren’t holding her, I’d be feeling his fist in my mouth. I held up my hands to calm him.
“Hey, don’t kill me, Player. I’m sorry, but I know we all wanna know, and I think it’s too important to wait. You said the warden warned her to be careful. Why? Do we need to put more security measures in place?” I defended myself.
Luckily, Saylor wasn’t opposed to telling us. Within a few moments, Bear helped her up in a chair. I saw Player adjust his erection as he stood up. None of us laughed or commented, but there were grins and headshakes.
Once she had water, she told us an incredible and disgusting story of who Dennis Bosch was and why the prison called her. That revelation supercharged us. She’d been staying here for her protection already, but this shed light on who might be behind the attack on her and Freya at their home.
As Outlaw started working on finding Bosch, the rest of us would be on protection and whatever else detail. Even though I’d been shot doing essentially this same thing, I wouldn’t hesitate to do my part. It was worth the risk. Protecting our family was what we did. And based on how Player acted and looked, Saylor was his. All he had to do was convince her after his initial shittiness. I didn’t envy him, but I wished him well. Hopefully, my efforts to win Meadow will be smoother.
After the two of them left, the mood was more somber. None of us wanted to go to our rooms or party. So when the bunnies came parading in, followed by some hang arounds, no one was giving them attention. I was drinking my beer when I saw Clover scanning the room. She appeared disappointed.
When she saw me looking at her, she came toward me. Shit, I hoped she didn’t think the fact my eyes landed on her that I wanted her company. If she did, she was about to be disappointed. As soon as she reached me, I shook my head.
“Clover, I’m not in the mood.”
“I’m not here for that. Where’s Player?”
“He’s not here,” I said.
“Obviously. I need to see him. Where is he?”
“Clover, when are you going to get it through your head? He isn’t interested in you. From what we just saw, the only woman he wants is Saylor. Stop chasing him. Either do your job or leave. I expect he’s busy for the rest of the night,” Renegade told her.
Her face twisted in a scowl, and without another word, she turned and flounced out of the clubhouse.
“Good riddance,” Loki muttered. Ren and I agreed.
Sitting back to finish my beer, I kept thinking of Player and me and the fact that we both seemed to be under the spell of a woman at the same time. Hopefully, they both turn out the way we wanted.