Page 19 of Iceman’s Killing Frost (Hunters Creek Archangel’s Warriors MC #13)

The past day and a half had been nonstop and exhausting. When I made it to the compound in the wee hours of yesterday morning, I found a hole had been torn into the wall surrounding the compound, and enemies had breached it. There had been gun battles that ended in most of the enemy dead. Those who weren’t had been taken and questioned. From them, we discovered the men were all part of Bosch’s group.

The hours dragged by for all of us as we waited for more intelligence to be gathered on a possible person with a closer connection to Bosch. Someone who might be providing him a place to hide. While we planned and waited, I discovered what else I missed while with Meadow. It seemed that Clover had finally shown her true craziness and had told everyone, including Saylor, that she was pregnant and it was Player’s.

Thankfully, it was proven to be a lie by Zara, but it had hurt Saylor, and she had been at the townhome with Vex when the compound was invaded. The enemy learned if they thought a blind woman was no threat, they were wrong. She’d killed more than a couple.

As we waited to move out to take Bosch, I couldn’t risk letting Meadow come to the compound. There was no way I’d leave her there. I knew for someone new to me and our life, this would probably make her run for the hills, so I stayed away and only communicated via text. I had to keep my texts innocuous as well. I knew if I called her, she’d hear it in my voice and demand to know what I was hiding. So, all I told her was we had some stuff that was club business to handle that I couldn’t talk about and that I’d see her as soon as I could.

At first, she kept asking me to call or let her come to me. When I kept saying no and putting her off, she stopped asking. After that, when I texted to see how she was, I got a couple-word responses, but that was it. I hated that she was probably upset with me, but I’d explain it to her when this mess was cleared away—or as much as I could.

Well, thank God, it was behind us. We’d found Bosch and his top men. Through torture, we’d been able to not only end him but discover there was someone else involved in the weapon smuggling that Saylor had taken him and others down for. It was a Major Campbell in the Marines. It would take time to find him and anyone else involved. It wouldn’t be solved today. It was late evening, and I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see Meadow.

Before I took off, I texted her but didn’t wait for her answer before leaving the compound.

Me: On my way. Will explain. Can’t wait to see you.

When I arrived at her complex, I parked and rushed to her door. I knocked and waited for her to answer. I saw a faint light coming from around the blinds. When no one answered, I knocked louder and called out. I heard nothing, not even the dogs. Puzzled, I took out my phone to see if she had told me where she was. It didn’t.

Meadow: No need. Stay there. Not home anyway.

What did she mean by no need? Assuming it meant she was on her way to the compound, I tried to call her. I needed to warn her not to freak out when she saw the hole in the wall. My call went to voicemail. I left her a message.

“Meadow, babe, if you’re headed to the compound, turn around and come back to your place. We need to talk first. Drive safe. I can’t wait to see you.”

I paced as I waited. I tried calling her again. I texted her, and nothing. Finally, after a half hour, I gave up and went to wait by my bike. While I did, I checked with the club to ensure she hadn’t shown up, but I was told no one had seen or heard from her. As time inched by, the sick feeling in my gut grew. Where were they? Why wouldn’t she answer me?

It was eleven o’clock at night when I finally gave up. No one had come home, and it didn’t look like they planned to, even though tomorrow was a work day for Meadow and school for her sisters. I was torn between worry and fury as I returned to the compound. What the hell was she playing at?

???

I spent a restless night. I kept trying to call Meadow, but it went straight to voicemail, meaning it was turned off. I kept sending texts even though I knew if her phone was off, she wouldn’t see those either. By the time I woke up, I knew I wouldn’t be able to work until I talked to her. If she refused to see me, I’d go to her work and make her speak to me.

I understood she was upset over me leaving and not telling her anything, but there was no reason for her to act like a sulking child. I caught Tank before he left for work.

When he answered the phone, he said, “Hey, morning. It’s Monday. Are you ready for the week?”

“I hope to be. However, I need to take care of something today first, and I don’t know how long it’ll take.”

There was silence for a few seconds, and then he sighed as if understanding. “Ah, so I take it your trip to see Meadow didn’t go as planned?”

“You could say that. She wasn’t home, didn’t come home unless it was after I left at eleven. And she’s not taking my calls or answering my texts. I’ve got to see her and straighten this out. Christ, if this is what having a woman is like, maybe I should reconsider,” I muttered.

“And if you have that attitude, then you should. You have no idea what we put our women through and expect out of them, Iceman. They have to take a backseat when it comes to club business. We expect them to let us lead when it comes to safety and more. We don’t all share the nitty-gritty with them. Then they have to live with seeing women in their faces consistently who we’ve fucked. They hold down the fort at home when we can’t be there, and they hold down jobs, too. If you want a yes woman who lets you make all the decisions, and she’s just a place to put your cock, then Meadow isn’t the one for you. Stick to the bunnies.” There was a bark to his voice. He was pissed at me.

“Tank, stop, I didn’t mean it. I’m frustrated that she’s cut the communication off between us. I’m trying to make this right and tell her why I couldn’t see or talk to her. Of course, I won’t tell her all of it. But I can’t do it if she refuses to let me.”

“My suggestion is if you’re sure you want this and she’s the one, you tell her everything. And you’re getting a taste of your own medicine. How does it feel? Sucks, doesn’t it? Take it from me and every other married brother. If you don’t make this right and keep to what you promise, you’ll lose her, and your life will be shit if you do. There’s a reason why we’re willing to kill and die for our women and children, not just our brothers. Find her and make it right.”

I barely said goodbye before hanging up. The way he put it filled me with terror. What if it was too late? What if this incident had happened too early for me to establish enough of a connection with her to convince her that I wouldn’t do this all the time? That I wasn’t going to be running out in the middle of the night, not to be seen or heard from, barely, for days all the time.

I hurried to her place, trying to get there before she left for work, but when I arrived, I saw her car wasn’t in the parking lot. I tried the door anyway, but there was no answer or sound. Where were the dogs? Trying again to reach her without success, I headed to her job. I knew she’d probably be upset with me for doing it, but there was no way I could wait until this evening to see her.

It was barely eight o’clock when I walked through the front door of her office. A woman was sitting at a desk. She smiled up at me.

“Good morning. You’re up and about early for a Monday. How may I help you?”

“Good morning, and yes, I am. I was wondering if you’d tell Meadow Lefevre that Iceman is here. It’s important that I speak to her. I know she’s probably about to see a patient, but it’s urgent.”

“Iceman? And she knows you?” she asked hesitantly. I guess my biker clothes finally registered.

“She does. You might have me in your system as Jake Newman. Meadow was my therapist.” I wasn’t above blurring the truth. Besides, it wasn’t a lie. If this woman chose to think I was here to talk to Meadow as my therapist and not as her man, so be it.

Her expression cleared, and she went back to smiling. “Of course, give me a moment to check.” I stood there as she typed on her keyboard. Several moments later, she hummed in approval.

“There you are. Give me a minute to call back and find her.”

While she was on the phone, I paced the lobby. I was about to ask her what was taking so long when she hung up.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Newman, but Meadow isn’t here today.”

“Where is she?”

“All I know is she’s at another office, and I don’t know when she’ll return. I was told she didn’t even come in this morning. I’m sorry. If you want, I can take a message and pass it along to her.”

A part of me wondered if that was a lie, but there was no way I’d go bursting in there. If it wasn’t one, she’d have my head. “Thank you, but I’ll try her phone again. I won’t keep you any longer.”

With a wave, I turned and walked out. When I got to my bike, another thought popped into my head. What if she really was at another office? The only one I ever heard her talk about was the one in Knoxville. The one that bitch Joni wanted to make her go to for a few months. Was it possible that due to my abrupt departure the other night, she’d reconsidered and took the assignment? A quick lookup on my phone ended in nothing. If there was an office with the same name in Knoxville, it wasn’t showing up.

With my heart pounding at the thought, I called one of two people who could give me what I needed. When my call was answered, I didn’t waste time beyond a brief greeting.

“Good morning. I hate to disturb you. I know you’re busy, but I need your help,” I said in a rush.

“Morning. What can I help with?” Zara calmly asked.

“I need to know if Meadow’s agency’s sister office in Knoxville is under the same name. I tried to look it up but found nothing. Do you know its name if it’s not?”

“I don’t know it, but I can find out. Is there a reason you want it and aren’t asking Meadow?” I heard her puzzlement clearly.

“She’s not speaking to me. I went to her office and was told she was at another office today. The only one I’ve heard of is the one in Knoxville. Last week, her supervisor tried to force her to go there for a few months. I need to know if they did or if she chose to go. I have to see her, Zara.”

“Ah, so you put your foot in it, I see. Don’t worry. All of you do. See what Player’s been doing, and Saylor has forgiven him. I’m sure whatever ticked off Meadow is nothing like that. However, a word of advice. Don’t think you’ll always be forgiven or easily. Some things can break trust, and it will never be fixed, Iceman,” she warned.

“I won’t.”

“That’s good. Give me time to make a few calls. If I can’t find it, then you’ll have to ask Outlaw. I know patience isn’t a virtue with you guys, so give me a half hour, and then you can ask him.”

“I’ll be waiting. Thank you, Zara. I mean it.”

“You’re welcome. Although, just a warning. I was the one to insist she take your case. If you permanently hurt her, I’ll feel responsible, and that means I’ll be taking my anger out on your hide. Just something to think about,” she said sweetly after sounding ominous.

“Noted,” was all I could say. She hung up.

After hanging up with her, I headed back to the compound to wait to hear from her. That left me with nothing to do but pace and imagine scenarios. Each one scared me more. By the time the half-hour was up, I was frazzled. I was looking for Outlaw’s name in my phone when it rang, scaring me. I saw Zara’s name on the screen. I fumbled to hit the talk button.

“Yeah, please tell me you found it,” I asked.

“I did. I’m sending it to your messages now. Iceman, I don’t know what’s going on with you two. According to what I just heard, she’s out there for more than a day. The person I spoke to had no idea how long she’d be gone. However, they knew nothing about her being forced to go. Is it possible she chose to go there?”

“It is. She originally said no to the assignment, but after what it’s been like the past few days and how I kept her in the dark and barely communicated with her, she might’ve taken the assignment. I kinda had to run out after we had sex for the first time,” I admitted.

Zara groaned. “And then you essentially ghosted her for the most part. Oh my God, you did fuck up. I wish you luck. Let me know how it goes.”

“I will. Thank you, and I’m going to make this right.”

“Then stop yapping with me and do it,” was her final, loving remark. We did say goodbye this time before hanging up.

Armed with the address and name, I haphazardly threw a few clothes in a duffel with my kit. I’d have to make sure Bull was alright with me leaving for a few days. Then I’d call Tank and explain. I wasn’t anticipating a problem. No immediate threats were looming over the club anymore. The extra men who came from various clubs to help us had gone home. It was back to things as usual.

After packing, I found Bull in his office at the clubhouse. He had one in his home, and sometimes, he worked from it, but he was available here as much as possible during regular work hours. He tried to give his family his focus after five. I admired how he balanced his position as president with his personal life with Jocelyn and their kids.

His head came up after I knocked on his open door. If he didn’t want to be disturbed, it would’ve been shut.

“Hey, what’s up, Iceman? You look less than happy. I would think you’d be smiling. Nothing to interrupt your time with Meadow. How is she?” he said with a smile.

“Morning, Bull. Yeah, I wish I was happy, but I sorta fucked up, and I need to make shit right with Meadow. To do it, I need to go to Knoxville. I don’t know if it’ll be for more than a day or not. I’m here to ask permission to be gone. I’ll speak to Tank and explain why if you say yes.”

“As an old married guy, mind telling me how you fucked up? I might have some advice for you.”

Knowing if I didn’t, he might not let me go, I took a seat and quickly laid it out for him. He was shaking his head when I was done. “Yep, I’d say she’s pissed. I get why you wanted her to stay away and be safe. I would’ve done the same thing. However, not telling her enough so she’d know you weren’t making up stupid excuses falls on you.”

“Let me ask you this. How much do you tell Jocelyn? You know, about club business.”

“I tell her everything if she asks, which she does most of the time. If she doesn’t, I give her all that I can. It’s not intended to keep secrets from our old ladies. It’s to try to protect them against them getting into trouble for something we did. However, our women know what we do to the bad guys, even if we don’t tell them. There are clubs where the old ladies would be told nothing. I’ve found with the kind of women we have, it doesn’t work. You’re new to having a woman. I assume you’re planning for this to be more than just sex with Meadow? You’ll claim her?”

“I do intend to claim her.”

“Then make sure you’re ready for all that entails. The first thing you have to do is get your ass to Knoxville and convince her to make up with you. Don’t worry about talking to Tank. I’ll speak to him. Do you want someone to ride with you? You shouldn’t go alone.”

I really thought it would be better to go with a buddy, but I had no clue who could go. We all had work to do. I was about to decline the idea when Bull picked up his phone. He held up a finger as he made his call. I wondered if he was calling Tank. He wasn’t.

“Hey, Loki, I wanted to see if you or Renegade would be available to go with Iceman to Knoxville. He needs to find Meadow. We’re not sure how long he’ll be gone, but he’ll be gone for at least two days. Can one of you be spared at the Abodes?”

The Abodes was the apartment complex we purchased over two years ago. Loki oversaw it and ensured timely repairs and attention to tenant issues, and Renegade worked there with him. I’d been known to help if it required carpentry skills. Bull was nodding his head and making affirmative sounds. By the time he hung up, I was ready to shout and ask what the fuck was said.

“Give Loki a half hour, and either he or Renegade will be here to go with you. They were going to wrestle for it or something. Don’t go without one of them. We think we’re out of danger, but it’s worth being cautious.”

“I will, and thanks, Pres. I appreciate it. Is there anything else I need to do? Are you sure you don’t want me to call Tank?”

He waved my offer away. “Nah, I’ll talk to the VP about it. He knows how this shit goes. You concentrate on what you’re gonna say when you see your woman. Better make it good. Oh, and expect she might make you work for it.”

Groaning, since I knew he was right, I got up. I shook his hand and thanked him again before leaving him to get back to work.

In the end, we took off forty-six minutes after I left his office. Yes, I timed it. Loki accompanied me. He’d gotten home and grabbed his go-bag. Even though the reason for the trip wasn’t an enjoyable one, I was glad to be riding with one of my best friends. I wish Renegade could have been there, but Loki informed me he had lost the arm wrestling contest. That made me smile, imagining them competing to be the one. As the miles sped by, I wondered how upset Meadow would be to see me. I didn’t know where she was staying, but right before I left, Bull informed me that he told Outlaw to find out. Was it any wonder I loved my club?

I originally intended to go to the office, but maybe that wasn’t the best answer. We’d be reaching Knoxville in the early afternoon. I might be able to wait until she got back to wherever she was staying. I’d spend the intervening time staking out the area. If nothing else, I could pop in and see the Dublin Falls crew. They weren’t far from Knoxville.

???

It was less than a hundred miles from home to Knoxville, so it took under two hours. Loki forced me to have lunch with him to keep me out of her office. While we ate, I freaked out, thinking she might not even be in Knoxville. I had Outlaw’s text saying he had her registered at a local hotel, but I still panicked. After we were done eating, we rode over to see where the office was because maybe there was another office somewhere, and she wasn’t even there. My heart settled a bit when I saw her car in the parking lot. Again, Loki reined me in and forced me to remain outside.

When we got ready to leave the office, he suggested we stop in and see our friends, the Ruthless Marauders. They were just outside Knoxville proper, but I wasn’t in the mood to socialize. Instead, we went riding around the area. It had been a while since I’d been here. We noted the growth. It seemed everywhere was bursting with more businesses and homes throughout Tennessee. Who could blame them? It was a beautiful state, and people wanted to live here.

After we finished our two-hour ride, I insisted we return to the hotel and get a room. I doubted we’d be leaving tonight, and I didn’t want to stay in a different one or at Terror’s clubhouse, though he’d welcome us. We were in luck. They had rooms. Thanks to Outlaw and his sleuthing abilities, we were able to get two rooms on the same floor as Meadow. We could’ve shared one, but I didn’t want to keep him up all night if she didn’t forgive me and let me stay with her. I wouldn’t be sleeping.

Figuring she’d park in the front lot, we parked our bikes in the back. It wasn’t that I was trying to sneak up on her. I was scared that if she knew I was in town, she might find a way to prevent me from talking to her. I couldn’t deal with another night like last night when I didn’t know where she was or if she was alright. It made me wonder where her sisters and the dogs were. Maybe they stayed again with the friend from the other night.

We got the rooms and then took our stuff to them. We didn’t have much to carry, just a bag with a few changes of clothes and our kits, which fit in the bags on our bikes. I was kicked back trying to talk to Loki, but it was hard. Finally, I excused myself to take a shower. If I was soon to see her, I didn’t want to be dusty and sweaty from the riding.

When I was done, I went back to his room. We had a connecting door, so I didn’t need to traipse through the hallway. The conversation returned to me.

“You have to stay positive, Iceman. Yeah, things got mixed up with you and Meadow, but you have to make it right. From what I’ve seen, the two of you are perfect for each other. Don’t let go without a fight. You’ll regret it.”

How he said it reminded me of a question I had for him. “I don’t mean to pry, brother, but you’ve made a few comments that make me believe you’ve lost the woman you think is the one for you. Care to talk about it?”

He stared at me several heartbeats before he sighed and answered. “I was an idiot. I let my pride and cockiness get in the way of what might’ve been my forever. There was a misunderstanding. I didn’t let her explain. I took off in a huff and stayed away for a long time. Eventually, I realized I’d made a mistake not listening to her. When I returned, she was no longer there. It was before I knew the club. No one knew where she’d gone. I’ve regretted it ever since. I can promise you that I won’t do that again.”

“Have you asked Outlaw to find her?”

“No. She’s no doubt made a life for herself and is happily married with kids by now. I wouldn’t want to disturb that. But I can guarantee you, if I ever get a chance like you and so many have gotten with a special woman, I won’t fucking blow it again. I’ll stick to that woman like glue until she accepts me or shoots me.”

“That sucks, brother. I’m sorry. And here you are, being dragged into my mess. You should’ve let Renegade come.”

“I wanted to be here. I need to help you if it becomes necessary not to make the mistake I did.”

“If you ever need to talk about it, just let me know. I won’t say a word to anyone, not even Renegade.”

“Thanks, Ice. It’s not that I’m hiding it. I just don’t usually like to talk about it. I was a different person then.”

Nodding since I didn’t know what else to say, we sat there silently. We were both lost in our thoughts. The talk allowed me to stay away from her room until six o’clock. Noting the time, I stood.

“I’m going to see if she’s there. Keep your fingers crossed that I can get through the door.”

“I will. Good luck.”

It was a long walk down the short hallway to her door. My heart raced, and my hands were sweaty. Christ, I hadn’t been this nervous asking if I could prospect for the club. I raised my fist and knocked firmly on the door, then waited to see what would happen.