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CHAPTER NINETEEN

DIABLO

T he low beep of the heart monitor pulsed through the room, providing us with constant reassurance that Saint was alive.

The sound should have been annoying, akin to the drip, drip, drip of water torture, but instead, it was everything I needed to keep my heart settled and my mind intact.

My eyes drifted over to the other two chairs, where Boomer and Jonny slumped with their shoulders hunched, and their eyes red and bloodshot with exhaustion and a few tears.

It was hard to believe it had been twenty-four hours since the shooting.

It seemed like the day had passed in the snap of my fingers, but then, I hadn’t stopped.

I’d shot dead the bass player of one of the biggest rock bands in the world, and life had taken a turn of crazy that put my brand of lunacy to shame.

I shifted my gaze to Talia, who was curled up asleep in a chair.

For the last twenty-four hours, she’d had to deal with record companies and the tabloids.

The label had held a press conference and everything had gone fucking loopy.

It seemed that the bass player of one of the biggest rock bands in the entire world being shot dead after trying to kill the lead singer he’d been stalking, along with her handsome bodyguard boyfriend, was hot news.

It was morbid shit, made more so by the fact their first album, which was eighteen months old had shot back into the Billboard and streaming charts at number one, blowing all competition out of the room— excuse the pun .

Talia’s eyes fluttered open and she sighed, shifting her ass on the chair to get more comfortable. “I wish she’d wake up,” she murmured.

“The drugs are keeping her under,” I reminded her. “Sophie said, the longer she sleeps, the more she heals, which means she’ll feel less pain when she eventually does open her eyes.”

“I’ve got a bad feeling,” she stated emphatically. “What if it’s not the meds keeping her under. What if something’s wrong?”

I leaned toward her and placed my hand on his shoulder. “She’s gonna be okay. They got the bullet out, and there’s no lasting damage. Saint just needs to heal.”

Talia nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving Saint. “Why don’t you go get some rest? I’ve had a nap. I can stay with her for a while.”

I sat back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest in a stubborn move. “Not leaving.”

Talia’s head swiveled to me. “Why?”

“’Cause I’m SAA,” I explained. “It’s my job to make sure she’s safe.

Iceman’s on life support, but he’s got his folks and half the club with him.

I’m staying with Saint, not only because Ice would want me to, but also because I want to.

She was patient with me, took her time, and taught me guitar.

She never dogged me, and she was kind. She’s my friend and she needs me. ”

In the dim light, I noticed a glint as Talia’s eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them away, murmuring, “Fair enough.”

“Gonna teach her how to shoot when she’s better,” I went on. “She won’t be in that position again. She asked me to help her the night Sam”—I paused—“when it happened. Gonna buy her a nice gun that’s not too heavy that she can keep in her purse. What’s her favorite color?”

Talia smiled and muttered, “Icy blue.”

My lips hitched. “Should’ve figured.”

We sat in silence for a while, our stares glued to Saint but our thoughts somewhere else.

“Are you okay?” Talia asked.

“Yeah,” I scraped out. “Just thinkin’ about what happened and wonderin’ if I could’ve done somethin’ more.”

She twisted her body to face me. “Don’t take that on.

You saved their lives, D. There was nothing that anyone could have done.

We couldn’t have known that Sam was the goddamned stalker.

He was clever and masked it. If anyone should have worked out what he was up to, it was me. Nobody could’ve saved him.”

My face twisted.

“No, Diablo,” she insisted. “Get it out of your head. If you hadn’t killed Sam, he may have fired off more shots and killed them both outright. Let it go, please. Neither Ice nor Saint would want you to mope over this. You did your best and you did the right thing. Stop taking this shit on.”

One side of my mouth tipped up. “You’ve got it a bit twisted, Talia. I don’t care about killing Sam. My issue is that I should’ve done it sooner. I wish I’d come out and seen it go down, then maybe Ice and Saint wouldn’t be stuck in hospital beds fighting for their lives.”

Her lips curved .

“Should’ve looked after my club better.” I leaned forward with my elbows to my knees and bent my neck to rub away the tension there. “Should’ve killed him sooner.” As the words left my mouth, the door cracked open, and Breaker appeared with Kennedy, who was holding little Kady’s hand.

Kadence’s blue eyes hit mine, and she shot me a sweet smile.

I smiled back.

“We’ve come to check on her,” Kennedy murmured, guiding Kady over to where Saint lay out completely still on the hospital bed. “My girl’s been worried.”

Talia got to her feet and jerked her thumb toward the door. “Gonna get some coffee.” Then she turned and exited the room.

Kady tagged Saint’s hand and looked at her with sad eyes. “Saint’s cold,” she said quietly, turning to Breaker. “Can I warm her up?”

Dude dipped his chin, his eyes boring into his daughter’s pretty face. “You up to it?”

“Yeah.” She smiled brightly. “I’ll spend an hour with Saint and then go see Iceman. He’s got too many people with him right now, but once they’ve left, I can concentrate.”

My forehead creased questioningly. “What’s she talking about?”

Kady’s eyes met mine, and she said, “You know. You feel it, too.”

My eyes narrowed on her.

Breaker helped Kady onto the bed beside Saint and took her sneakers off for her. Then the kid lay next to Saint and snuggled into her body.

“Don’t overdo it, Kady,” Kennedy ordered gently. “You know it wipes you out. Just sleep. That’ll be enough to make her warm again. ”

Kady snaked a hand over Saint’s stomach and laced their fingers together. She smiled up at her mom as Kennedy unfolded a blanket and placed it over her before she closed her eyes and settled in.

My skin prickled, and I felt the room around me warm almost immediately. It reminded me of a time when I was a kid of about eight and my mom got sick.

Ma was strong and healthy, but one time she got the flu, and there wasn’t anyone else around to look out for her. She shivered with the cold so bad that I ended up getting into bed with her to try to warm her up.

It must have worked ‘cause she was better by morning.

Kady’s eyes opened suddenly, and she beamed at me.

A sense of camaraderie passed between us, and I grinned back at her before murmuring to Breaker, “Is she okay?”

He nodded, his eyes never leaving his daughter. “She’s fine.”

“It’s been a fucked up couple of days,” I pointed out.

He let out a short laugh. “You Virginia boys are fucking crazy.”

“What? Like you’re not? I remember a time not so long ago when we had to come and help your Wyoming chapter defend your club against an evil rival biker club and a mayor who was taking local girls and putting them in a trafficking ring.”

Breaker smirked. “True. But I had to come and help your prez rescue his pregnant woman from her evil drug-dealing husband, so I think we’re even.”

I chuckled. “Never a dull moment.”

He nodded. “Yep.”

My stare went to Saint, looking so tiny and vulnerable in the bed that it brought a lump to my throat. “I hope we get a quiet few days. Not sure my nerves could stand much more of this.”

Breaker shrugged, his eyes still glued to Kady. It seemed the kid had fallen asleep. Her breaths came evenly, and her chest rose and fell in a relaxed rhythm.

“Doesn’t matter what happens, you’ll cope,” he assured me. “You’ve got no choice, Diablo. You’ve chosen a life full of missions and adventure, and along with that comes something that makes you vulnerable in some ways but also makes you stronger than you could imagine.”

My head tilted, and I asked, “What’s that?”

Breaker glanced at me, his golden eyes soft. “Brotherhood, friendship, the club. You’ll do anything for them, and when you meet your woman, your ‘one’, you’ll fight tooth and nail to keep her safe and happy. You’ll die for her, just like Ice was prepared to.”

The hair on the back of my arms stood up as my mind went to all the jars in my room, lit up all pretty and cute on the shelf. My baby trophies.

There wasn’t a woman in this world likely to accept that. I had compulsions and needs that not even a mother could love, which was why, even though my ma adored me for who I was, I still wasn’t sure she could grow to love that side of me, too.

“Don’t think it’s gonna happen for me, dude,” I argued gently. “I’m not the settling down type.”

Breaker glanced at Kennedy, who rolled her eyes before turning back to me and muttering, “Yeah, brother. That’s what they all say.”