Page 23 of Ice & Sweet

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Luke

“Do you want some cheese?” André called from the kitchen, his voice slightly muffled by the distance. It was late afternoon on Boxing Day, and I’d pretty much become nothing but a mountain of food at one with the sofa, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

I glanced up from my phone with a smile on my face as I answered. I loved that we'd already reached the stage of yelling at each other from different rooms. “If I ever say no to that question, I've been abducted by aliens.”

“That’s a yes then?”

“Yes!”

“Good, I’ll make us a board.”

I shook my head fondly, a smile playing across my lips. André’s fondness for a cheeseboard was almost unmatched. When he’d joked on Christmas Eve about being able to start a cheese shop with the contents of his fridge, I thought he’d been exaggerating.

He hadn’t.

We must have made a good dent in it by now, though.

The past few days had been everything I could have imagined and more, from the food to the sex to the cuddles on the sofa. Even the presents, which I hadn’t been expecting despite buying something for André. We’d already eaten most of the chocolates and I couldn’t wait to dig into the coffee and syrups. The scarf was so beautiful I was almost afraid to use it.

And as for the record…

I’d cackled hysterically before snapping a photo to send to Kane, because he’d love it.

I was going to have to get a record player to use it, and then the joke was going to be on André because I was going to play it so much he’d accuse me of being insufferable. He’d have to pay me in kisses to get me to turn it off.

It had been the best Christmas I’d had in years and I was already feeling sour about dragging my ass back to the bakery tomorrow to start prepping and planning for my New Year's Eve order. At least I didn't have to get up early. I could sleep in and get there whenever I fancied. It was the couple of days after that which were going to be the busy ones.

Next year I was going to take the week between Christmas and New Year’s off, no matter how much money I was offered. I needed the break and as long as André was around then I’d have someone to spend it with. Even if he had shows to do, I'd rather spend the time chilling at home than at the bakery. Work wasn't everything, and I needed to remember that.

André had mentioned in passing that his goal for the new year was to take better care of himself, and I was going to try and do the same. Self-care had never been that high on my priority list, but having a boyfriend who cared so much about me made me realise that maybe it should be higher. If not for myself then for him. Because if I felt like shit, our relationship was going to suffer and I didn't want that to happen.

I had so many plans for us.

I supposed I should probably talk to André about them.

The sound of footsteps brought me back to myself as I looked towards the door to see André appearing with a large wooden board in hand and a worried smile on his beautiful lips. “I think I might have gone a bit overboard,” he said. “I didn’t know how hungry you were, so I just got us a selection with the last few bits of charcuterie and some crackers. There were a few grapes too, so I stuck those on. Oh, and some chutney.” His mouth pulled pensively. “I definitely think it’s too much, sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” I said as I sat up from my slumped sprawl, making room for him to sit next to me. “It’s Christmas. We’re supposed to eat so much cheese we become cheese ourselves.”

He leant down to kiss me before taking a seat and resting the board on his knees. “What time do you need to go home today?”

“As late as possible. Unless you don’t mind me staying another night—I don’t need my five o’clock alarm tomorrow, so I wouldn’t be turfing you out of bed at some god-awful time.”

“Stay then.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

I smiled as I kissed him again. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said. “I like having you here.”

“It’s been amazing. Seriously. This has been everything.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted it to be anything less.” He turned slightly and lifted the cheeseboard onto the table next to the sofa, putting it safely out of the way before reaching out to pull me into his lap. I’d realised over the last few days how tactile André was. He loved touching me and having some part of me in contact with him, whether that was as simple as having his thigh pressed against mine on the sofa or our hands interlaced together or holding me against him while we slept. It was almost like he needed physical proof that I was here and that we were together.

It made me fall even further in love with him.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked, my hands resting on his chest and feeling the steady beat of his heart through his jumper.

“Of course. Everything okay?”

“More than okay. I just wanted to ask if you knew how amazing you were? And if you had any plans for New Year’s?”

He chuckled softly, a tiny flush spreading across his cheeks just under his glasses. It was cute how easily he flustered, and I wanted to see how many ways I could make him blush just from praise and adoration alone. “I’m not that amazing,” he said. “And no, no plans. Why? Did you want to go out or do something?”

“Not sure. I’ve been to parties the last few years but—” I traced one finger down his chest teasingly. “It might be fun to stay in. Have our own little party. I hear orgasms are a fabulous way to see in the New Year.”

André smirked, his hands squeezing my hips. “I’ve heard that too. Might be worth testing.”

“Especially if we’re going to prioritize taking care of ourselves next year. It would be a good place to start.”

“We?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I figured I could learn from your example since I’m also terrible at taking days off and looking after myself.”

His smile softened and I could see the adoration written across his face. “We’ll do it together then. Take care of ourselves and each other.”

“Perfect.” I leant down to kiss him, emotion rising hot in my chest. There was never a perfect time to say anything, but did it have to be perfect? Or did it just need to be a moment between us? A bubble of anxiety popped in the rising tide, swiftly followed by another, and I let out a shaking breath as I suddenly tried to process the swirling mass of feelings attempting to overwhelm me.

“What’s wrong?” André asked, his concern evident.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just—” Another shaky exhale slipped through my lips as my body trembled. “I was just thinking about everything and I—”

“If it’s too much, then say. I don’t want to rush you. We don’t have to—”

I cut him off with a swift kiss that was more like a punch in the mouth than anything soft, sweet, or vaguely romantic. “I love you, André,” I said, the words coming out in a rush against his lips. For a second I didn’t even know if he’d heard me, but I could feel his heart racing under the hand that was still sitting on his chest.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there was a bad moment. Maybe—

“I love you too.” He wrapped his arms tightly around me as he kissed me fiercely, love and emotion radiating out of every pore, so hot it almost burned.

“It’s not… is it…”

“Too soon?” He frowned slightly, but it looked more like bemusement than anything else. “No, why would it be?”

“It’s been less than two weeks since the wedding.” I wasn’t sure why I was arguing with him, but I guessed I wanted to know that he was certain. That he wasn’t just saying it to make me happy or pacify me, but that he truly felt it too.

“So? Why does that matter? Who says there has to be a time frame for this stuff? You can’t control emotions or when you feel them,” he said, releasing me slightly so he could reach up to brush a strand of hair out of my face. “Besides, it’s not like we’re strangers. We spent like, three years hanging out together when you were with Kane.”

“Pretending to be.”

“Fine, when you were pretending to be with Kane,” André said as a fond smile curled the corner of his mouth, and I leant down to steal a kiss because he was too cute to resist. “We may have drifted apart over the past few years, but I never stopped thinking about you. You’ve always been the one I wanted; I just didn’t know how to make it happen. And now it has and I’m not letting you go. I love you, Luke, and that won’t change whether I say it now or wait six months, so you might as well know now and save on wondering.”

The bubbles in my chest that had been filled with anxiety now fizzed like champagne as excitement and love and too many other emotions to name threatened to burst out of me. André was right—if we knew, we knew, and time didn’t change that. And why should we waste more time when we’d already waited this long?

“You’re right, no more waiting. I love you, André.” I kissed him, and one turned into two and then into an endless string that I never wanted to end.

Except then my stomach rumbled loudly, like some unhinged creature was grumbling and yowling from inside my hoodie, and the pair of us burst out laughing. My forehead dropped to rest against his shoulder as my body shook from embarrassed laughter.

“I’m so graceful,” I said, half into his jumper. “Aren’t you so glad you love me? I’m beauty and elegance personified.”

“You are, among a million other things.” He gave my ass a fond tap and I laughed. “Do you want to pass the cheeseboard? We could watch a film while we eat too if you want? Or a couple of episodes of something.”

“Are you in the mood for more Christmas stuff?” I asked as I reached behind André to retrieve the cheese before shuffling awkwardly backwards out of his lap. It was a little tricky not to throw grapes and crackers everywhere, but somehow I managed it and only dropped one grape in the process.

“Maybe? Want to see what gloriously cheesy goodness Netflix has to offer? We could watch a couple of different ones and rate them.”

I grinned. “Absolutely. I think I’ve got friends in a few of them.”

“Does that mean you want to avoid those ones?”

“No way, I will just lovingly roast my friends and their appalling Christmas jumpers. Also, those films are great for work, so I’ll never begrudge people doing them. One guy I know usually does one a year in some form or another for Hallmark. He lets me play bingo with the scenarios and characters, like Christmas tree farm, baking competition, hot shot lawyer, childhood best friend, high school crush, that sort of thing. I’ve never managed to get everything right, though, but I did come close this year!”

“I want in on that next year. It sounds fun,” André said as he took the board in one hand and moved along, allowing me to settle down next to him with my back against the arm of the sofa and my legs flung across his.

“Next year,” I said with a smile as I watched him pick up the remote and turn the TV on, the screen catching the reflection of the Christmas lights. “I promise.”

Because there would be a next year. And a year after that, and a year after that.

On and on for the rest of our lives.

The future looked nice, bright, and sweet.