Page 20 of Ice & Sweet

CHAPTER TWENTY

André

Luke’s question hung in the air for a moment, mostly because I was too focused on the way he was smiling and all my thoughts were centred on the idea of wanting to take care of him as much as I could. It was so clear that Luke was amazing at what he did—talent and creativity practically radiated out of him—but it was also clear he’d always put himself second and spent more time focusing on work than taking care of himself.

And I wasn’t saying I was any better, but maybe if I could take care of him, I’d get better at looking after myself too.

“Yes,” I said, watching the way his nose happily scrunched up as he took another bite of noodles. “I’d love to spend Christmas with you.”

He grinned and the joy on his face was mirrored in my heart. We’d only reconnected a week ago, but I already knew that what we had was special. “Awesome! Did you want to come to mine or should I come to yours? I don’t actually have any decorations up if that matters—I kept meaning to dig my little tree out but with work and shit I didn’t get time.”

He sighed, like it was something else he was adding to a mental list.

“Come to mine,” I said, my brain already starting to put a plan together of things I’d need to get over the next few days. I hadn’t been planning to do much more than lie on my sofa in my underwear watching trashy telly while eating a stupidly large amount of cheese, so I’d need to hit up a couple of shops and see what I could get my hands on. But I was prepared to spend all weekend hauling myself around London if it meant giving Luke the Christmas he deserved.

At least I already had some decorations up because I’d had a free Sunday at the start of December and I’d spent the whole day turning my house into a Christmas grotto.

I hoped Luke didn’t expect it to be tasteful.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get some food and we can spend the day doing whatever the fuck we want. Just let me know if there’s anything you desperately want or completely despise.”

“Cauliflower cheese,” Luke said immediately, like he was answering a question on a game show. “I really need cauliflower cheese. It’s one of my favourite things and I never get it for myself. Actually, that’s a lie—sometimes I just get a tray of it from M&S and eat the whole thing with zero regrets. But I haven’t had it in ages and I fucking need it.”

“Okay,” I said fondly. “Cauliflower cheese it is.”

“Exactly. Oh, and maybe some roast potatoes? We can just get frozen ones.”

“I can make roast potatoes.” At least, I thought I could. It didn’t seem that hard. “I’m going to get some cheese too, because Christmas isn’t Christmas without a ridiculous amount of cheese.”

“And some chocolate, I’m fine without cake. Maybe some ice cream? Or… am I going to sound really old if I want trifle?”

“I fucking love trifle,” I said. “It’s so good!”

“Right? Justice for trifle!” He laughed and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I was already in so deep that I never wanted to turn back. “Actually, I can fucking make us a trifle. It’ll be so much better than anything you can buy.”

“Just let me know what you need and I’ll get it. My kitchen’s not the biggest, but it’s all yours.”

“You might regret saying that.”

“No, I won’t. Not if it gets me trifle,” I said. My box of noodles was starting to cool in my hand and I realised I’d barely eaten a mouthful since we’d started this conversation. The noodles were absolutely delicious and everything I’d wanted after a long, exhausting day of rehearsals, but I was too focused on Luke to notice much more about them. “Anything else? Any allergies?”

“Banana,” Luke said. “It makes me itchy. And I’m not the biggest fan of Brussels sprouts unless I get to cook them my way with chilli, honey, and soy sauce until they go all crispy.”

“Can I request you make that at least once, though? It sounds amazing.”

“Sure, it’s easy enough to make. You could probably do it yourself.”

“I don’t want that, though. I want to make it with you,” I said. Luke’s cheeks flushed and he glanced away. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just… you’re making this the first Christmas I’ve looked forward to in a long time and every time I don’t think it can get any better, it does.”

I stood quickly, closing the gap between us in seconds and putting the noodles on the desk so I could reach for him. “Tell me what you want, Luke. Whatever you want, and I’ll make it happen. I’ll move heaven and earth for you if I have to.”

“You don’t have to do any more,” he said, sliding his own carton of noodles onto the desk next to mine. “You’re already doing so much.”

“I don’t care. I want to do more.” I clasped his hands in mine as I gazed into his eyes, hoping he could feel how much I meant it. “I want to give you everything. Even if everything is only cauliflower cheese and trifle. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”

“Would that be okay? To want everything.”

“Of course,” I said. “I wouldn’t say it otherwise. When it comes to me, you can have whatever you want.”

“Me too,” he said, his voice so soft and so beautiful it was like hearing an angel speak. “You can have all of me, André. Just ask and it’s yours.” His fingers tangled with mine and he squeezed our hands together. “I can’t promise to be perfect, but I can promise to try.”

“That’s all I ask. Try with me, Luke. Whatever this is, let’s figure it out together.”

It should have been too soon for it to be love, but that was what it felt like—all-encompassing and overwhelming and too big to even try and describe. It might have only been a week but there were all the years behind that, the days spent longingly looking at each other across crowded rooms at parties, spending hours playing video games together on the tour bus or in hotel rooms, snatched fragments of conversation where we learned so much from so little.

So what if it had only been seven days—I’d fallen for Luke the first moment I’d seen him seven years ago.

It had just taken all this time for the universe to catch up.

“We’re together then, yeah?” Luke asked.

“Yes,” I said.

He exhaled and then he smiled. “Good, because I’ve been thinking of you as my boyfriend all week.” He leant in and kissed me, heat simmering under the gentle press of his lips. “Fuck, do I really have to go back to work? Can’t we just go back to mine and have sex?”

“We can, but you’ll be the one who has to deal with it tomorrow.”

“Ugh, you’re right.” He made a low grumbling sound as he leant back and reached for one of the noodle cartons. “Do you want the rest of the pork noodles?”

“That depends. Do you want them or would you prefer the chicken?”

He shot me an almost sheepish look and it made my heart melt at how damn adorable it was. “Can I finish the pork, please?”

“Of course,” I said, kissing his cheek before picking my own noodles back up. “Whatever you want.”

Luke did a happy little bum wiggle and I chuckled, and the pair of us stood side by side in front of the desk, half leaning on it, to finish eating. “Why do I get the feeling you’re one of those people who likes to spoil their partners?” Luke asked.

I snorted. “It’s taken you until now to figure that out?”

“I mean, in bed yeah, I’d got that. But I wasn’t sure about outside it.” He nudged me playfully. “Does this mean you’re going to give me orgasms and food?”

“Yes, and more.”

Luke raised an eyebrow at me. “André, is this why your exes were all dickheads?”

“How do you know that?” I asked with a half smile as I shoved more noodles into my mouth. He was right, of course, but there was no need for me to admit it.

“Seriously? Do you need me to list all the reasons?” He chuckled. “Also, Kane told me. He can be a right gossip. And he was worried about you—always talking about how you hadn’t found someone who deserved you.”

“Meddling whatsit.”

“And yet he couldn’t figure out his shit with Austin to save his life.”

“I guess it’s easier when it’s not your own life,” I said. “I’m almost surprised he hadn’t tried to set us up before last weekend.”

“Me too, but maybe with our work his wedding was the only chance he had.”

I nodded. “Has he messaged you this week?”

“No, but Austin has probably melted his brain by now, so I doubt I’ll hear from him until January,” Luke said. “Which is good. He needs a break.” I hummed in agreement, my mouth too full of noodles to speak. “You never answered my question by the way. About your exes.”

“I don’t think they’re all dickheads. Just a few,” I said softly. “I think that’s what happens, though, when you’re famous. You end up surrounded by a lot of people who want to leech off you for their fifteen minutes of fame or use you for your money. It comes with the territory, and part of that is on me for not realising earlier.”

I wasn’t trying to play off or excuse what had happened with some of them, but time and distance had helped. Or maybe I was simply more cynical now.

Not all of my exes had been bad, though. With some of them it was just wrong place, wrong time, and some of them had borne the brunt of my frustrations with myself, my circumstances, or my suspicions. I didn’t want Luke to deal with any of that, though.

“I get that, but it’s not all on you. And you’re allowed to be hurt that people were pricks and took advantage of you and your generosity.”

“Thanks,” I said. “And to go way back, yes, I do like spoiling people. I like being able to make people happy.”

“You realise you don’t have to buy me shit to make me happy?” he asked, fixing me with a look that told me I wasn’t going to win this without a fight. “I still have plenty of money, even after investing in my business. And I don’t need millions of holidays or fancy clothes to make me happy. Besides, if I do want to go on holiday, I can just pay for it myself.”

“Fine, but if we decide on a holiday, we’re going halves. And I’m treating you to dinner at least… three times. And something cute for you to wear for me.”

“Mmm, possessive and sexy,” he said with a cheeky grin. “I can get behind that. And my butt does look very good in tiny swimwear.”

“Who said I’ll be buying you something to wear in public?” Luke would look so gorgeous stretched out in bed in a pretty jock or tiny skintight shorts or even a thong. Maybe I’d have to buy him all three just to see what looked best. And anything else that caught my eye too.

He groaned and then nudged me with his foot. “You’re not making this any easier. I have to finish work and you keep making me horny!”

“Then hurry up and eat your noodles so we can get finished,” I said in a low, teasing voice. “Then we can go back to yours and I’ll make you come as many times as you can.” I leant over and brushed my lips against his. “What do you think, darling? How many orgasms do you think you can give me?”