Page 23

Chapter 23

The Art Center

Bex

T he last couple of weeks have been hectic, but in the best way.

“You look happy.” Luke observes, parking his SUV in front of the Art Center.

I don’t even need to think about it. “I am. This is the happiest I’ve been in years. Probably since our senior year of high school. I didn’t realize how losing you and Matthew almost at the same time left my heart so empty. All of a sudden, he was the only meaningful relationship in my life.”

We both know who I’m referring to.

“I hate him.” Luke says. “Not just because he didn’t accept me for who I am. I couldn’t change his feelings about me, Bex. When he told me to choose between my family and my ‘filthy urges’, I had to walk away. I hope you understand that.”

I take my twin brother’s hand in mine. “Of course I do. We’ve talked about this, sweetie. He was a pathetic excuse for a father. Who you love shouldn’t have mattered to him. His love for you should have been unconditional.”

Luke nods. “Yeah, but I’ve made peace with his views a long time ago. I didn’t decide to be gay, to bring shame on him or anything. He didn’t get that this is how a person is born. He saw my sexuality as an aberration, a choice.”

Yeah. Dad was absolutely against anything LGBTQ. He rejected clients on the basis of their sexuality. “Even if a person’s sexuality was a choice, his job as a father would have been to accept you and to love you. Even if he didn’t approve.”

Luke agrees. “True. But like I said, that’s something I’ve stopped dwelling on a long time ago. What I can never forgive is what he did to you. He should have protected you and loved you. Instead, he treated you like an asset, a cash cow.”

“It took me a long time to see that, babe.” I say. “But I’m glad I did, and I have you to thank if I could turn my life around.”

A mischievous smile dances on my brother’s handsome face. “Right. You were saying that you’re happy. Does that have anything to do with a certain hockey player who looks totally smitten with you?”

Heat rises to my face. “A little? Look, I’m under no illusion that this is love or anything, but Jamie is… I like him.”

“From what I can see, he likes you too,” Luke says.

I shrug off the giddy feeling I get every time I think about Jamie. “I don’t know how much of that is real and how much is fake.” I admit. “He has to look smitten if we have to sell that he’s a changed man.”

“But?” Luke smirks.

My brother knows me well enough to guess what I’m not saying out loud.

“He’s thoughtful. He takes care of me. Even when there’s no one watching.” To the point that he’s trying to help me to get a kiss from Connor. But that’s a different story and I’m not ready to share it with Luke just yet. The fact that Connor seemed to go out of his way to avoid kissing me on the lips, is playing with my mind. Every time I think about how much he held back, my insecurities rear their ugly head.

But Luke has no idea about that, and right now he looks like the cat that got the cream. “Ha. I knew it. My boyfriend radar never fails. Some men, like my Shane, will sleep around just because they haven’t found the one. But once they do? They’re perfect partners. So, did you and Jamie…?”

He wiggles his blond eyebrows and my face goes from warm to blazing hot. “We did.”

“I knew it!” Luke slaps the steering wheel, a look of triumph in his eyes. “And?”

“And what?” I pretend to be none the wiser about what he wants to know.

He rolls his eyes. “I demand details. I gave you three simple rules, Bexie-Boo. I know Jamie ticks the boxes of at least six feet tall and the six figures bank account. What about the third and most important box?”

I turn to look outside the passenger seat window. “I’m not telling you about that.” And I’m definitely not telling him that Connor more than measures up, too.

Luke has always been a very patient, generous man. But he’s the nosiest person I’ve ever met. “Hell, no. Bex, I gave you my room. I hooked you up with a great job,” he gestures toward the art center outside. “I’m helping you rebound. The least you could do is tell me if Jamie’s cock measures up.”

It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “When you put it that way… and by the way, I don’t get it. You two have been playing hockey together since freshman year. Are you seriously telling me that you’ve never seen his dick in the locker room?”

“We have a state-of-the-art locker room, thank you very much.” Luke explains. “It was built with privacy in mind. The showers have partitions and it’s part of the school’s anti-hazing policy to demand modest conduct in the locker room. We all use towels when we change and no one walks around with their dick out. I didn’t see Shane’s cock until our first date.”

He realizes his mistake when I giggle.

“What?” he asks, straightening his back in the driver’s seat.

“Nothing.” I smirk. “It’s just interesting that you saw his dick on your first date.”

I swear to God, I have never managed to make my outgoing, confident twin brother blush until now. “Are you slut-shaming me?”

“No.” I promise. “I’m just messing with you. And I can’t exactly judge you since I slept with Jamie and our relationship isn’t even real.”

Luke calms down. “It’s obvious that you two are becoming good friends. And you’re attracted to each other. If that isn’t the definition of a relationship, I don’t know what is.”

Hope is a terrible thing. It makes you feel like what you want might be within your reach. But I know a thing or two about how soul crushing it is when reality forces you to adjust your expectations.

“I’m just enjoying hanging out with Jamie for now.” I say more for my own benefit than for Luke’s. “I’m not thinking about the future.”

I open the passenger door and slip out of the car without looking behind me. I know what kind of look will be on my brother’s face if I do.

Luke still believes in fairy tales and in the happily ever after, and I love that about him.

Life has taught me that it’s not that simple. That people can rarely be taken at face value and that almost everyone has an agenda.

How could I think otherwise when my own father only loved me for what I could bring to his business?

This fake relationship with Jamie is a win-win for both of us. He gets the help he needs to change his image and I get a place to stay. He’s also helping me to overcome the trauma inflicted by my ex. He makes me feel safe and wanted.

The chemistry between us is just something to sweeten the deal. I take a deep breath when I enter the building of the new art center. I’m here to help the Zetas, the volunteers, and employees to get everything ready for the grand opening in a couple of hours.

I should focus on doing a good job and stop thinking about Jamie’s body. His strong but gentle hands, his skilled, wicked mouth. The way we fit together. Since that first time last week, I’ve spent every night in his bed. He makes me feel good. But he also makes me feel safe. He’s patient and lets me call the shots. Next time we’re together, I want to ask him to be on top. I know I’m not going to panic again.

When I think about sex, it’s Jamie’s blue eyes I see now. He replaced Kurt’s cold violence with trust and respect. Connor is a different matter. I like him too, but things with him are more complicated.

This is why I have to be careful and remember that my relationship with Jamie isn’t real and has an expiration date. And Connor might not even like me, since he didn’t want to kiss my lips.

“Hey Bex,” Candace beams when she sees me. “Can you help us decide where to hang the last few decorations?”

I take from her one of the crepe paper flowers we’ve been making all week. “These should go over there, behind the table where the Dean is going to speak.”

“Right.” The Zeta president agrees. “I told Fiona and Hillary, but they insisted you said they should go over there, above the window.”

“No. These pink ones above the desk, the orange and blue ones at the windows.”

The last minute’s flurry of activity is exactly what I needed to stop thinking about my fake boyfriend and his teammate.

“Fiona, can you pass me the last flower?” I turn to look at the two Zetas who are passing me the stuff to hang, but lose my footing on the three-step ladder I climbed onto. “Oh, shit.” I squeak, bracing myself for a hard landing on the wooden floor of the art center’s main room.

“Gotcha.”

Rather than the hard floor, I land against a muscular but much softer chest.

“You should be more careful.” Connor says, holding me against him for a tad longer than it would be appropriate. “Never twist to look behind you when you’re on a ladder.” He scolds me, but there’s no heat in his tone.

All the heat is radiating from his body and from the emerald depths of his eyes. The same eyes that bore into me while his dick was in my mouth. Jesus, I need to stop giving him fuck me eyes in public for both mine and Jamie’s sakes.

Connor

Fiona’s red head is the first thing I see when I enter the main room of the brand new art center sponsored by Zeta Theta Beta.

I brace myself for the usual pang of longing, followed by crushing, bitter sadness, but there’s nothing there. For the first time since she broke up with me, I feel nothing when I look at my ex.

Maybe it’s because another woman has been living rent free in my head for the past couple of weeks. Especially after we didn’t watch that hockey game together.

I’ve been thinking about that night non-stop and one of the things I realized is that Jamie had asked me to help him study for a test, but we never even cracked open one single book. I have the feeling that I’ve been set up all along. But it was the hottest night of my life, so I can’t exactly be mad at them. Maybe the reason why seeing my ex doesn’t affect me anymore is that I have a crush on my roommate. It’s pointless to even try to deny it, but I’ve been keeping my distance since the night of the hockey game, because she’s Jamie’s girlfriend. I don’t know if what happened between the three of us was just a one-time thing, but either way I need to be careful. I need to protect my heart from being crushed again.

Ignoring Fiona, I spot Bex perched on top of a relatively low step ladder.

She’s hanging colorful paper flowers on the wall, but that’s not what catches my eye.

Luke’s sister is wearing a form fitting cocktail dress that shows off her perfect ass. And those toned, shapely legs? Fuck.

No wonder I haven’t been sleeping much lately. I’ve been spending every minute I’m not in class or at practice thinking about Bex.

Her pretty face, her hot body, her soft lips wrapped around my cock, the way she sounds when she comes.

I’ve even given up trying to resist the urge to take care of myself while I listen to the sounds that come from Jamie’s room. I wish I could join them again, but I’ve been reluctant to make the first move in case they reject me.

Even now, my cock perks up as I watch Bex reaching up to hang a bright orange flower.

“Fiona, can you pass me the last flower?” she twists around to ask.

Quick reaction time is essential for hockey players, and when I see the ladder wobble and slide from under Bex’s bare feet, I’m there in the blink of an eye.

“Gotcha.” I say when she lands in my arms.

The way she looks at me with her huge green eyes full of fear, does nothing to improve the situation in my pants.

“You should be more careful.” I scold her. “Never twist to look behind you when you’re on a ladder.”

She thanks me, but I’m not even listening. My eyes are glued to her lips and the way her body fits so perfectly in my arms that I forget that we’re in a room full of people.

“Baby, are you ok?” Jamie comes running to check on his girlfriend, and I’m forced to set Bex back onto her feet.

“I’m fine.” She breathes out, one hand on her chest. “If Connor hadn’t caught me, I think the answer would have been very different.”

Jamie slaps me on the back. “Then I guess we should thank Connor for saving you.” The look on his face tells me that he noticed how reluctantly I let Bex go. But he looks pleased rather than mad at me for the way I was ogling his girlfriend. Maybe what happened the other night can happen again?

“Thank you, Connor.” Bex’s voice is still a little breathless.

Holy shit. I have no business liking the way my name sounds out of her lips. And I absolutely shouldn’t remember the way she was saying my name when she was naked in my arms. When my tongue was playing with her clit.

Fuck. If I was Jamie, I would punch me in the face, regardless. Because right now? I would want to drag Bex into an empty room and fuck her from behind. Without Jamie in the way. I liked sharing Bex with him, but I want her all to myself at least one time. That probably makes me a shitty friend and teammate, but he was the one who encouraged me to go down on his girl. Now he’s awoken the beast in me, and I don’t know for how long I’ll be able to control myself. Especially when the attraction between me and Bex is palpable.

“What are you guys doing here?” Bex asks, spotting Luke, Tucker, Corey, and a few more of our teammates. “The inauguration doesn’t begin for at least another thirty minutes.”

Jamie pulls her to his side, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and kissing her temple. “Luke and Dave thought it would be nice to come early and see if you girls needed some extra help. It’s our duty since as Gammas we’re affiliated with Zeta Theta Beta.”

“We’re pretty much done.” I track the way Bex’s palm is resting on Jamie’s chest. “But it’s nice to see you. I missed you.”

They kiss and I want to look away, but I fucking can’t.

I wish I was the one who asked Bex out first. Now she would be mine. I wouldn’t have to hope that he wants to share her again. But I was so busy smarting over seeing Fiona still with the guy she cheated on me with that I didn’t pay attention. I convinced myself that I would never be able to trust another woman again. And when Bex appeared in her ruined wedding dress, I told myself that the immediate attraction I felt for her was just a fluke.

I’m an idiot.

I even voted against letting her stay with us. Being worried about the consequences of letting her stay in our dorm without permission was just an excuse. Because I was too scared to put myself back in the game. I was worried about giving someone the power to hurt me again and I lost my shot.

Now I have to watch my teammate kiss Bex; and I have to listen to them together right next door, knowing how she looks naked and how she tastes.

The art center is soon at capacity. The Dean gives a speech praising the Zeta sisters for their efforts and their patronage of the fine arts.

People are eating finger food and drinking. There’s an open bar and I’ve never been so glad that I turned twenty-one in the summer.

If I have to look at Bex and Jamie’s PDAs all evening, I might as well drown my sorrows into a glass of bourbon. Or two.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks someone right after he serves me.

“Whatever he’s drinking.”

I turn around, surprised to see Keene. “Hey.” I clink my glass with his once the bartender gives him a bourbon on the rocks. “This is just about the last place where I thought I would see you.”

Keene rolls his eyes, taking a sip of the amber colored drink. “And you would be right. But you were also right about Professor Cantucci.” He lowers his voice when he says that, nodding toward a cluster of people where the professor in question is chatting with the Dean and Coach Harrison.

“You didn’t tell her you’re a hockey player, right?”

“No. Even though our faces are plastered all over campus to advertise our first home game of the season next week, she seemed to be none the wise. All she had to do was pay attention. But Tucker ran his big mouth, and the professor went from thanking me for my service to giving me an F in pretty much the same breath.”

I shake my head. “That’s rough. Did your project deserve an F?”

Keene’s glare is worth a thousand words. “Fuck, no. I mean, it was no masterpiece. I’m the first to admit it. But she gave B’s and even a couple of A’s to stuff that was way worse.”

That checks out. I’ve seen Professor Cantucci do the same thing when I was foolish enough to take her class freshman year. “I don’t know why she hates athletes so much.” I muse. “Maybe she was dating one and got dumped?”

Keene shrugs. “Fuck knows. Or she might have been a nerd who always got picked on during PE in high school. I had a few teammates who acted that way, and I hate that kind of behavior. But whatever the reason, she should be fair when she grades our work.”

I have to agree with him. “Right. But you got an F. That still doesn’t answer my question about why you’re here.”

“The professor agreed to bring my grade up if I came here for their free workshops and presented some extra work each week. So I decided to come on a recon mission.” He offers.

My eyes find Bex and Jamie again. He has her arm around her waist and he’s whispering something to her. She laughs. He kisses her. I groan.

It doesn’t take Keene’s sharp observation skills to notice what I’m looking at. So he doesn’t miss the scene that got my attention.

“She must be spectacular in bed, or if she’s not, she must be one of those women who would let you do anything you want to them.” His tone is vaguely disgusted.

“Why do you say that?” I ask.

She is fucking spectacular in bed. The right combination of innocent and daring. If only Keene knew.

He finishes his drink, setting his glass back on the bar. “Why else would Jamie stop fucking anything that breathes and look at Bex like she’s the only woman on campus? There’s no other possible explanation.”

I consider his words. “Maybe. I just hope Jamie knows what he’s doing. He seems smitten with her, but if he just ditches her when he gets bored, Luke isn’t gonna be happy with him.” I’ve been giving this some thought. And while Jamie looks like a changed man, I don’t want Bex to get hurt if he goes back to his old ways.

“Yeah, but Bex isn’t a child. I’m sure she’s aware of her boyfriend’s reputation.” Keene bites out, his tone vaguely disgusted. “I’d worry more about who warned Jamie about trusting someone who obviously has ulterior motives for dating him.”

“Come again?”

Keene glares at Bex and Jamie. “Isn’t it obvious why she’s sleeping with him? We said no to her moving in, and Jamie was an easy target.”

“I don’t know. Have you seen the way they look at each other?” Jealousy brings a bitter taste into my mouth. “Whatever brought them together, it’s obvious they really are into each other.” I’ve seen that first hand, up close and fucking personal.

My roommate doesn’t look convinced. “Yeah. Until he cheats or she reveals her true colors.”

Looking at Keene, it dawns on me that the way his marriage ended did some true damage.

I understand how he feels, at least in part. But no matter how much Fiona hurt me, I need to find a way to get past it. I don’t want to become as jaded as my teammate. Not trusting women is a self-defense mechanism for him. The end result, however, is a deep loneliness. Keene is shielding himself from being betrayed again, but the price might be his future happiness.

“Right.” He exhales, clasping a hand over my shoulder. “I’m here because Professor Cantucci was harping on participation. I think I’ve suffered long enough. I’m gonna go say hi to her before I leave. Are you staying, or do you want to grab a bite somewhere? This finger food just makes me more hungry.”

“Nah,” I shrug. “I’m going to hang around for a bit. Can’t pass up on the free bar.”

He looks at me for a long moment. “Ok. Just remember that we have practice in the morning and a game tomorrow night.”

“I’ve got it. Don’t worry.”

As Keene walks away, I think about what he just said. Not the stuff about Bex and Jamie. He looked worried about me.

While he didn’t say it out loud, I think he noticed how I’ve been using alcohol like a crutch.

Keene hadn’t met me before my breakup, and doesn’t know that this isn’t me. I never used to drink myself into a numb stupor.

For some reason, the thought that he might think that I’m a drunk bothers me.

What bothers me even more is the realization that I drink to avoid thinking about my ex.

It’s not like I’ve ever shied away from a good party, but I used to stop at a good buzz. Drinking myself into oblivion is something I started doing last spring after my ex told me that she had met someone else.

I was about to order another drink, but I stop in my tracks. The first step to truly get over Fiona isn’t dating again. My problem isn’t being jaded like Keene. Until I drink to avoid confronting my feelings, it’s like I let my ex and her shitty actions define who I am.

It’s up to me to take control of my own destiny. Yes, I was in love and she crushed me. But if I think about that relationship, maybe it wasn’t as perfect as I wanted to believe. Had Fiona been the one, she would have never fucked someone else behind my back.