Page 26

Jennette

I’m hugging Seeker.

Tamzir.

I wonder if he’d prefer for me to use his name, now that I know the truth.

I breathe him in because I can . Now that his tech isn’t scrambling my brain waves and confusing my senses, I’m aware of a sharp, spicy scent that must emanate from him, like a chemical blend of cinnamon, cardamom, and saffron.

Not exactly, of course, but those are the comparisons that linger in my mind.

At last, I sit back, hoping he feels better. Because there’s so little I can do when he’s lost so much. Yet it means everything to me that he trusts me with such a weighty secret. He’s put his life in my hands, and I’m so aware of that, it hurts. In a good way.

I’ll never betray that faith.

“You mentioned five family members… What does family look like where you’re from?”

“To put it in terms you’ll understand, it depends on the domestic partnership.

My parents formed a triad, though Betau isn’t sexually involved with Arlan or Oona.

They all contributed genetic material when they were ready to brood young.

They hatched six of us, and we were reared collectively in the creche.

My creche guardians are Tivani and Morv. ”

Though I hate to interrupt, I have to ask, “What’s a creche?”

Sure, I could extrapolate, but it would be better to get his words on the topic. Seeker pauses, likely trying to figure out how make it stack up without context. I wait patiently, still sitting close to him. And he doesn’t move back.

“I suppose the closest comparison I can make on 97-B is a commune, where everyone takes responsibility for the offspring and contributes to caring and raising them. Creche guardians are an extra set of unrelated parents who focus on education.”

“Oh, that’s interesting.” I have so many questions that I don’t even know what to ask first.

“Is it? For me, it’s just how things were. I find it strange how uninvolved humans are, how they seek to cut connections whenever possible. There are so many of you, but it seems to me that you push for self-sufficiency at the expense of connection.”

I laugh, though there’s a trace of wryness in it. I see what he means. “We do fight like hell to get free of our family’s influence, and then we look for that one perfect person who can complete us. But…”

“Perhaps that’s not possible. There can certainly be a special person—or people, depending on how your needs align—but it seems to me that if you expect one person to meet all your needs until the end of time…”

I nod. Seeker and I are on the same page.

“It’s setting yourself up for failure. I’ve always thought a relationship should be welcoming, with plenty of room for others.

” It’s not that I’m looking for a poly arrangement per se, but I don’t want to be with a possessive person, who gets aggro over me wanting to see friends or pursue hobbies on my own.

My last boyfriend hated me spending time on cosplay.

“You would like it there,” he says then.

“Don’t you have a word for it? Like, we call this planet Earth.”

Seeker makes an amused sound. “Yes. We call it Home. Earth translates to dirt, does it not? Or soil?”

He has a point. “In your language, though? What’s the phonetic sound?” Even if the syllables don’t mean anything, I still want to know.

To my surprise, he makes a series of clicks and pops, a squeak, and a hiss. It’s like a combination of natural lizard and bird calls. I find it fascinating, but there’s no way in hell I could reproduce those sounds. I come up with, “Tikpupeesh?”

“That’s not bad,” he says. “It will suffice. Our language also incorporates minute hue changes in our skin and subtle olfactory cues, but…”

Yeah, yeah. I repress the urge to defend our evolutionary limitations. There are reasons our noses aren’t too sensitive. Probably.

“So, you didn’t fit in on your homeworld,” I prompt. “And you didn’t become a musician like Oona wanted.”

“They wanted me to create beauty,” he corrects.

“Got it. What happened next?”

“Everything I’ve told you before is true. I went traveling as soon as I attained maturity. I refused all social connections that might have limited my freedom. And I saw amazing things, sights and experiences I never could have had at home.”

“You don’t regret your choices?”

Seeker pauses to consider, his preternaturally beautiful eyes glittering with consideration.

He has no lashes, and the pupils are more like a reptile’s with a vertical slit for a pupil.

But the colors…it’s like a starburst of a galaxy in each iris.

I could stare at him dreamily all day. I don’t ever want him to turn that gadget back on.

“On the whole, no. This was supposed to be my last stop, one final adventure before I went home to settle down. Oona has been worried about me for a long time. Arlan and Betau kept saying, Give him time. My clutchlings are all settled. I’m the only one who didn’t get the urge to nest at the usual time. ”

“One last trip,” I repeat. “You tempted the universe.”

“What does that mean?”

I explain the trope—how in action movies, there’s always one last job or one last case. And that’s when things go tragically, catastrophically wrong.

“Hmm. I do seem to be living the evidentiary result of that probability.”

“Are you looking for help?”

“Depends on what you mean by help. I had some desperate idea that I’d sneak into that Lusk person’s launch site. And—”

“Tell me you’re joking.” I dissolve into giggles.

“I take that to mean it’s impossible?”

“Oh. You really were hoping…” I pause, hoping I haven’t come across like an asshole. “Do you have experience stealing ships?”

It seems like I’ve put him on the defensive. “I didn’t mean to suggest I’d steal a whole ship. Just some spare parts.”

“You’d probably be captured,” I say softly.

“That prospect has occurred to me as well.”

“I wish I could say that I think we could workshop the premise, but it’s an unmanned shuttle. And Owen Lusk’s fledgling space company doesn’t have a good reputation. They’ve had far more disasters than successes.”

“I am familiar with his notoriety, but…” His voice trails off and he appears dispirited.

Yet I need to be sure Seeker understands how bad that jackass is. “Lusk is a grifter. He earns money by bullshitting people and getting them to fund his pipe dreams. I swear his companies are like a shell game with funds being moved around so he looks more successful than he is.”

“That is unconscionable,” he declares.

“Yeah. He’s an asshole. Only an official space program like NASA would give you a shot at safely entering low orbit and their parts would be safe, but getting inside?” I shake my head, not feeling optimistic about his chances.

“How is Lusk’s security then?” Seeker seems to be grasping at straws.

And I hate saying, “He’s a paranoid freak, security everywhere. It would take a special team to get you inside on launch day, and I don’t know that you’d be able to find anything useful once you got there.”

“Then there is truly nothing I can do. The situation is, indeed, beyond my control.”

“I’m sorry.” I feel like I’ve crushed his secret dream, but I can’t let him get hurt because he doesn’t have all the facts.

“It’s not your fault. I’ll continue to make the best of things.”

For a moment, I consider his situation. “You’ve managed to source food and shelter, but it can’t be easy. You’re new here.”

I don’t mean to be dismissive, but it’s true.

He’s been on this planet for less than a year.

Holy shit, I am talking with an alien . We’re on my bed.

I want to run around screaming and kick my feet in the air, but that would freak him out.

He’s trusted me. I can’t react by showing how ridiculously thrilled and immature I am.

Seeker acknowledges this with a flutter of his dorsal spines. How fascinating. Does that take the place of hand gestures?

“I don’t have a long-term residence. I’ve been moving around, earning just enough for my immediate needs doing contract work.”

“Are you really coding for a living?”

“I’ve written programs that can tackle most of the tasks assigned to me. I automate it, check the work, and then turn it in.”

I smile slightly. “You do have the tech advantage.” Without pausing to think it through, I make the offer immediately. “Come home with me after Space Con.”

My apartment can house two people, and I’m sure my landlady, Nancy, will be fine with it. If she isn’t, I only have two months left on my lease. I’ll figure something out. I’ll help Seeker, whatever the obstacles.

He stares at me, lightning flickering inside his strange and wonderful eyes. His pattern deepens, more purple coming to the surface of his skin.

“You want me to cohabitate with you?” he asks.

“Not in a weird way.”

What am I saying? Everything about this is unusual.

“It could be dangerous for you. I’ve been careful, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

Oh, that’s why he’s hesitant. Not because he thinks I have an alien fetish and I’m the one who might probe his butt if I got half a chance.

“You need a local guide.”

Sure, that’s all you’re trying to do here. This is pure altruism.

It’s really not, but I’m also perfectly clear that there’s a power imbalance in this situation.

He needs me to help him learn our customs on a deeper level.

I wasn’t looking for incongruent behavior and even I thought, more than once, Oh, he’s not from here , I meant America.

I figured things were different or maybe Swedish syntax was messing with his English skills or something.

I never imagined anything like this.

“I’ll think about your offer,” he says finally. “But we should attend some events at Space Con today. The others will find it strange if we don’t.”

“Chances are, they’ll think we’re hooking up.”

Another pause. “What’s that?”

Right, his understanding of slang can be unreliable. And now I get why.

“They’ll think we’re having sex.” Might as well be blunt. “You’re the one who asked everyone about con flings. They’ll guess that was about us.”

“I fear I’ve misunderstood what a con fling is. I didn’t realize it pertained to sexual intimacy. For my people, there are different types of involvement.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind if they think we’re doing it.”

“The truth is far less plausible,” Seeker says.

“That it is. Time for the big question… I doubt you’d draw a second look here, so…do you want to go out as you are?”