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Chapter Twenty-Nine

A week has passed, and I’ve been trying to ignore the bitter feeling in my chest that grows stronger each day without seeing Ezra, without talking to him, and without being captivated by his strong presence.

Our fling wasn’t even serious. I can’t have feelings for a man other than my husband. And for a younger one at that… but why do I feel so bad? I’m restless and irritable, not like myself. I want to crawl under the covers and cry all day.

Is this all because of Ezra? How can that be? I don’t really know him, yet I miss him in a way that almost drives me crazy. I’m so unfocused. Damn! I thought I’d feel better if I cut you out of my life and did the right thing.

Don’t they say you’ll be rewarded for doing the right thing? Then why do I feel worse than I ever have in my life…?

Throughout the morning, I somehow tried to clear my head by heading to the mall. But I didn’t even make it out of the car, as the masses of people storming across the parking lot like ants completely overwhelmed me. So I turned around and headed straight home.

I ignore Kelly’s calls, which have been terrorizing my phone since this morning, because I don’t know what to say to her. But the knot in my chest, which is gradually threatening to suffocate me, gets bigger and bigger the longer I keep it all bottled up.

I can talk to Kelly about anything. But not about this. I know she doesn’t approve of my husband, and I don’t need anyone encouraging me to cheat on him. I need a friend to tell me that my decision was right, that the burning sensation in my chest is not heartbreak, but my guilty conscience for almost crossing a line. I need a friend like that now, but Kelly isn’t that kind of person. So, it’s better to keep quiet and work through this on my own.

After calling for the thousandth time, I decide to pick up the phone after all, sighing as I come to a stop at a traffic light.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” she greets me. I can hear the worry in her voice, and my decision falters. Oh damn!

“Nothing. It’s just… do you want to come over for a glass of wine?”

“Of course. The nanny has taken over because I wanted to go shopping. But I’m already on my way to you. Be there soon,” she replies before we hang up.

I sigh deeply and run a hand through my curls while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. I close my eyes briefly and lean against the support, letting my mind wander and trying to bring some order to my mental chaos. How could my life have gotten so out of hand? How did I end up here… I was on the verge of cheating on my husband. I was so disappointed in him, and I let him feel it when I finally opened my mouth after the umpteenth lipstick-stained shirt collar and confronted him. And now…?

Loud honking behind me catapults me back to reality, and I drive off quickly. I raise a hand apologetically and drive home as fast as possible.

As I pull into my driveway and switch off the engine, my eyes automatically wander to his house. To my surprise, Ezra is home. His motorcycle is parked in front of his garage, and behind it is a van that I don’t recognize. He’s usually at the boxing club at this time of day. But maybe he’s working on his house again?

I shake my head quickly and try to get him out of my thoughts. You’re none of my business anymore, Ezra King!

Before Kelly arrives, I want to put on something comfortable and maybe take a quick shower, as today is another particularly hot day.

Once upstairs in our bedroom, I’m about to pick out some fresh clothes when I freeze mid-motion, my head turning automatically toward the window. What the hell?

I see Ezra in action with an incredibly attractive and, of course, extremely young blonde. He stands naked behind her in front of the bed, on which she wiggles her ass at him on all fours and lets him drive her crazy. As if in a trance, I step closer to the window to see her better. I don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s as if my body is being dragged toward the scene.

I can see her cheeks glowing with excitement, her eyes closed in pleasure, and her full, red-painted lips shaped into an excited O. And Ezra? His large, rough hands, which have always given me goosebumps, are firmly wrapped around her petite hips so that he can thrust himself into her repeatedly with such force to make her scream so loud I’m sure I can almost hear her. Holy mother!

I want to avert my eyes and disappear, but my body doesn’t move an inch. I watch spellbound as he takes her so roughly from behind that her huge breasts jiggle. My God, she looks like a porn star.

Shocked by my inappropriate thoughts, I’m about to turn away. I think I’ve seen enough. But Ezra turns his eyes as he’s about to let his head fall back in pleasure. When he sees me, he freezes in motion. Even his powerful thrusts have stopped as he stares at me. I should go…