Page 21

Chapter 21

Blake

We make it back to campus just in time to throw some things into a bag and head out for the contest’s stargazing date.

The tents are set up in a wide half-moon, with plenty of space in between tents to give the illusion of privacy. I say illusion because while the tents seem sturdy they are in no way soundproof. Any attempt at touching Alexis—which I want to, so badly, especially after last night—would have to be soundless, which goes decidedly against my need to hear her scream my name again.

I grab our bags from the trunk and dodge Alexis’s attempts at taking hers off me. “I’ve got it, Sunshine.”

“I can do it myself, really?—”

I shoot her a look that says drop it, and she knows better than to finish her sentence. She tries to hide them, all those labored breaths and winces, but anyone paying even a little attention to her can see she’s in pain.

It’s my fault. I was the one who begged her to go to the game with me, and for purely selfish reasons, too. We might not have won if she hadn’t been there, but at least she wouldn’t have extra pain to deal with. The jersey, beanie, mittens and even my coat weren’t enough to keep her warm, and now I’m making her pay for my selfishness.

Stupid bastard.

One of the people in those god-awful Brookside U Communications shirts does a headcount. I guess we were the last to arrive, as she gives a sharp whistle that hurts my ears and motions for us to gather around.

She starts by reminding us about the cameras pointed at us always— can’t forget this is a marketing ploy! —and then rambles on about the activities they’ve set up, but I’m not listening, because Alexis just wrapped her arms around my chest and laid her head on my shoulder, her body all cuddled up into my side. She’s cold as always, but warmth spreads through my body in every place we collide, and a battalion of dragonflies swarm my stomach as I get thrown by her.

My love. My Sunshine. My Alexis.

“Sounds fun,” Alexis mutters. Sleep drips like syrup from her lips, and her eyes stay closed like she’s doing a little nap.

I shake my head with a smile. “Yeah, we’re not doing that. Or anything else, until you’ve gotten some sleep.”

I wasn’t listening, so I have no idea what she was referring to, but it doesn’t matter. She can barely keep her eyes open, and I’m not about to go full Weekend at Bernie’s on her.

She starts to protest, but I feel her body relax beneath my grip to the point I’m convinced my arms are the only thing keeping her upright. One of my favorite members of the crew, Noah, peeks out from behind the camera before lifting his eyebrow in question, jerking his chin towards a slightly drooling Alexis. I nod and give a thumbs up. While the rest of the group peels off to do whatever, I swoop my girl off her exhausted feet and carry her to our tent, tucking her in before setting up shop at its mouth.

I figure she’d be out for a few minutes, maybe an hour tops. Eventually someone comes to check on her again, and it takes some time to convince them that yes, she really is just that tired but she’ll be up in no time. By the time Alexis’s adorably groggy face peeks out through the tent flaps, dinner time has come and gone.

“Blake, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

I don’t take my eyes off the pages. “Reading. I got bored and took one of your books. Don’t worry—I’ll return it undamaged.”

“Not that, you weirdo. You didn’t wake me! We’ve missed all the activities!” Alexis hisses like it’s important somehow. It’s not.

“Those were the physical activities, and not the ones we’re good at,” I say, and can’t help but smile as I notice her glare. “And we weren’t going to do those anyway. You’re right on time for trivia, though, and stargazing after that.”

“Oh.” She considers for a moment, the anger and panic already fading from her face. “So we still have a shot.”

“No harm done.”

She nods slowly. “Is there any food left?”

I grin, and as I meet her gaze I’m awarded with a smile that tugs at something deep inside my chest.

Though we haven’t said it, something has shifted between us, pushing us far away from the place we started. The Alexis I met that night would never have trusted me to watch over her as she slept, and would have ran when I showed her every messed up part of me. But not anymore. This version of her is bolder, more trusting, with a flirtatious streak that brings me to my knees.

I showed her my scars, bared my soul, and she didn't even flinch at my darkness, enveloping me in her light so it no longer felt as heavy. I’m too much of a coward to ask her what it means, if she feels the same way I feel about her. But I know that what I feel for her isn't going away–it's only getting stronger.

Last night, Alexis told me she wasn’t a saint, nor a goddess, but fuck do I disagree. I’d build a temple in her name, pray to her alone. I’d sacrifice myself at her altar just to show her the depths of my worship and lay my life in her hands. My mind and body are mere tools for her ritual, to aid her in that sweet gentle sin.

Where I’m chaos and oblivion, she is light and creation, a summation of all that is good in this world. And when she presses her lips against mine, soft and warm and promising, I know I’m nothing if I’m not hers.

“Let’s go look.”

Surprisingly, we won at trivia by a landslide.

Alexis, it turns out, knows a lot more about celebrity gossip than I expected, and she didn’t get a single literature question wrong. That’s not unexpected; my girl reads a lot. No, the surprising part is that she looked strangely turned on by my knowledge of history, especially the more obscure topics. I file that little tidbit away for later.

Noah’s camera stayed on us the entire time, much to the dismay of our fellow competitors, who didn’t bother to hide their contempt. I get the feeling some of them have caught up to our little ruse, but now that we don’t know what’s going on ourselves, they have too little proof to rat us out. Good . If they tried, they’d have to get through me first.

We’re lying on one of those itchy picnic blankets that are made from real wool and smell like they’ve been in the university’s attic for at least thirty years, the ground frozen solid underneath our bodies as we gaze up at the stars. Alexis, to my delight, is sprawled out on top of me, her leg hooked around mine with her ear pressed to my heart.

I hope she remembers it only beats for her.

“Do you ever think about what comes next?” she asks quietly. “After graduation, I mean.”

The topic of the future has never been my favorite, the what-ifs stronger than my plans could ever be. I breathe in the scent of her, knowing the silent reassurance of having her near is enough to calm me down. “Sometimes. A lot, lately. I don’t have a concrete plan yet, not like you and Levi do. But I know I’ll be okay wherever I end up, as long as I’ve got you with me.”

“You don’t think you’ll get into the NHL?”

“I’m not sure hockey is my endgame.” I draw another deep breath, waiting for her to say something. I’ve never told anyone this before, nor have they asked. But leave it to Alexis to draw out my secrets like water from a well. “I always thought it was; I spent most of my life on the ice, so it’s a logical next step. But ever since we went on our little road tip I’ve been mulling over everything I thought to be true, and I’m realizing I might not even love hockey that much in the first place. I loved the fact that it bought my mother’s attention.”

Alexis moves to look at me, those brilliant silver-blue eyes shining in the moonlight. “So what do you love?”

You. Only you.

My heart flutters at the thought, though I know it’s true. I would give up everything I have for her, everything I ever wanted and more. It’s her I want, her I need. Nothing else even comes close.

“This,” I whisper. “Having you in my arms, feeling your breath on my skin. Knowing I will only ever be yours. It’s heaven and it’s torture and it is terrifying, but it’s real.”

Alexis sits up a little straighter until we are face to face. “You love me?”

“Is that bad?” Every scrap of air is ripped from my lungs and my mouth feels dry as a bone as I study her face. I’ve done it now; I’ve fucked up this perfect thing—the one perfect thing I have.

Slowly, she shakes her head. “No. I think I…”

Her voice trails off into the wind, but I don’t mind one bit. I brush a stray lock of hair from her face to reveal her blush, and the sight of it makes me smile. “Don’t feel pressured to say it, Sunshine. I won’t be scared off so easily. Your pace, remember?”

Something shifts in her gaze, her irises growing dark and intense with wanting. Her fingers glide teasingly down my chest, following every ridge and plane through my sweatshirt. I know what she’s up to the moment she glances around the campsite, looking for strays. The others went to bed more than an hour ago, leaving not a single camera behind.

I’m already rock hard by the time she climbs on top of me, my cock so dangerously close to her core. I know the feeling must be turning her on as well as she bites her lip, the sight so vulgar it makes me twitch against my zipper with a groan.

Her gaze shifts to my lips and before I know it I’m tasting her, too wrapped up in the moment to care about the open air and our peers being able to see us, about my insecurities and what-ifs.

Right here, right now, Alexis Moore is all I can breathe.

I kiss her hard enough I fear I might leave a bruise, but that fear is swiftly replaced by hunger as she rakes her teeth over my lower lip. Fuck.

What little brain I have left short-circuits as she does it again, her hips grinding against mine like she’s begging for release. She tears herself off my lips and I have to keep myself from pulling her back in again, already missing her warmth and those little moans.

“Shit, Blake. You’re big,” Alexis breathes as she drags herself along my length. She saw it last night in the shower, I know she did. She made a whole show of looking at it as payback for the way I look at her. Still, it’s different to feel it, I suppose.

Like the way I know exactly how she tastes, but have yet to feel her take me.

“You can take me, Sunshine. I promise.” The words are nothing but a strangled groan; she’s edging me so beautifully that I can hardly manage anything else. My hands grip her waist, holding her in place while I tilt my hips for better contact, those eyes ever-widening. My fingers dip below her waistband to edge her further only to make a tempting discovery. “No underwear? Fuck. You’re killing me.”

She bats her eyelashes so innocently I almost feel bad for the unspeakable thoughts racing through my mind. “I must have forgotten them. Oops?”

That blush creeps back in, her confidence waning. I grin at her shyness, wondering how she could ever doubt I want to worship every piece of her.

No problem. I plan to show her again and again until she learns.