Page 132 of I Am the Messenger

For a moment, we stand awkwardly, until finally Ritchie looks just past me and says, "I don't feel like going home tonight, Ed."

I catch a dent of sadness in his eyes, but it disappears immediately as Ritchie quickly smooths it over. He only looks at the keys now, and I wonder what lurks beneath the cool, calm exterior of my friend. I wonder tiredly what could ever bother someone as laid-back as Ritchie.

His eyes drag themselves up again to mine.

"Sure," I tell him. "Stay here the night."

Ritchie sits down at the table.

"Thanks, Ed," he says. "Hey, Doorman."

The Doorman has walked into the kitchen as I go out to get Marv.

For a moment I consider leaving him out in the car, but Christmas spirit can even make its way to someone like me.

I attempt to knock on the window, but my hand goes right through.

Of course.

There is no window.

Marv still hasn't had it fixed since the bungled bank robbery. I think he got a quote for it, but the guy said the window would end up being worth more than the car.

He sleeps with his head twisted in his hands, and the mosquitoes are queuing up for his blood.

The front door's unlocked, so I open it and matter-of-factly blow the horn.

"Christ!" Marv shrieks.

"Come inside," I tell him. Soon after, I hear the car door open and slam and the scuffing of his feet behind me.

Ritchie gets the couch, Marv takes my bed, and I decide to stay in the kitchen. I tell Marv I wouldn't have slept anyway, and he's quite gracious in accepting the bed.

"Thanks, Ed."

Before he goes in, I take my opportunity, walk inside the room, and retrieve all the cards from the drawer next to the bed. The Tatupu stone is also there.

In the kitchen, I go through them, reading them all again, though the fatigue in my eyes makes the words swap and turn and juggle. I feel eroded.

In moments of awakeness, I remember the diamonds, relive the clubs, and even smile about the spades.

I worry about the hearts.

I don't want to sleep in case I dream them.

Tradition can be a dirty word, especially around Christmas.

Families all over the globe get together and enjoy each other's company for all of a few minutes. For an hour, they endure each othe

r. After that, they just manage to stomach each other.

I go over to Ma's place after an uneventful morning with Ritchie and Marv. All we did was eat leftovers from the night before and play a few games of Annoyance. It wasn't the same without Audrey, and it didn't take long for us to pack up and for the other two to leave.

The usual agreement with my family is for a twelve o'clock meeting time at Ma's place.

My sisters are there with their kids and husbands, and Tommy's shown up with a stunning girl he's managed to pick up at university.

"This is Ingrid," he introduces her, and I must say, Ingrid is calendar-worthy. She has long brown hair, a lovely tanned face, and a body I'd let myself dissolve in.