Chapter nine

Astria Zielle

Outside of the place I was forced to call home, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I would find.

I opened the door and scanned inside the destroyed house. Liquor bottles and trash littered the living room. That wasn’t too surprising. I tip-toed into the house, but it was useless.

He was sitting on the couch.

“Astria.”

I looked at the ground, so I wouldn’t anger him. He stood up and stomped over to me. I hardened my heart with every step, ready for a fight.

He grabbed my throat. “You stupid bitch, you’re an embarrassment. How do I control the men if it’s perfectly clear I can’t control my wife?”

“I don’t know.”

He threw me across the room into the china cabinet, and glass rained down on me. I tucked my face down to protect my eyes and allowed myself to dream about getting Kylie out of here until he was done doing whatever he wanted. If Dirus could really get her out of here, everything would be worth it.

When I didn’t move, he left the house.

I took mental stock of the pain and decided nothing was bad enough to fuss about. With shaky legs, I climbed to my feet and went to the coat closet, moving the loose panel to find her hiding in the darkness.

Her golden eyes blinked at me, tears trickling down her cheeks. “You’re home.”

I dropped to my knees and squeezed her too hard to my chest. She was here in my arms again. I’d made it back to her. I held in the sobs of relief.

When I released her, I searched her for any bruises. She was a mess, still in the clothes I’d left her in, and her hair was a rat’s nest. But she was perfect, as always.

“I’m hungry, Mommy,” she complained.

“Okay, baby.” I hugged her to me again, happy that she seemed to be in one piece. I fed and bathed her before I walked her to the park and went to stand in the circle of women guarding the play area while she ran to the jungle gym.

“Hi, Kylie!” All the other women waved.

As I approached them, they took a collective breath. But it was Elizabeth who spoke.

“Thank goodness she’s okay. I couldn’t find her when I broke in last night.”

“I had to make a new hide space. Nikolai found the old one.”

“You hid her so well, I couldn’t find it.” She smiled.

“She ran out of the food.” I sighed. “Days ago.”

“That’s the longest stretch you’ve ever been gone for.” Elizabeth frowned at me. “I wasn’t sure they’d let you come back. He was home, wasn’t he?”

I nodded.

“How bad was it?”

“Not as bad as it could have been.” I snorted.

“What hurts?” Elizabeth asked.

“Everything. Between Bunson and Nik, I don’t think any part of me escaped.” Not to mention my rounds with Dirus.

“Not to mention your time in the box before that,” Elizabeth tacked on.

“Just another day in paradise, right?” I rolled my shoulders as the throbbing tensed between them.

“Let me see.” She pulled the back of my top coat to look down. Her whimper said it was worse than I thought. And she would have only seen my shoulders. She dug into her pockets and handed me a couple of vials. “This one will help you heal and the other will take away the pain.”

I downed them and she took the vials back, hiding the evidence like she never had them. Then she looked down at my back again. “Better.”

“Mommy, watch!” Kylie’s sweet voice sang as she did the monkey bars.

“Good job, baby,” I answered excitedly. She was doomed to pay for my mistakes. Not anymore. If there was a chance to get out of here, I was fucking taking it. “Any new gossip?”

“A team of foreigners are on the island. One came into my shop and got Peter in a twist. You should have seen him trying to pretend like he knows anything about my herbs.”

“Oh yeah?”

“The man looked mean. Permanent scowl and he growled. But you should have seen Peter piss himself when he insinuated that Peter was stupid. It was glorious.”

If that didn’t sound like Dirus, I didn’t know what did. “How are the other men dealing with it?”

Elizabeth pointed to the bruises on her neck that were in the last stages of healing. “I made him look like an idiot.”

“How dare you,” I tsked at her sarcastically.

She quirked her eyebrow in annoyance. “Why’d they let you out?”

“I was supposed to kill the growly one.”

“Supposed to? You failed?” She smirked at me. “Someone was finally too smart for your stripper routine.”

“It’s a good routine.” I squeaked. “I usually get some grocery money out of it too.”

She laughed.

“I’m working with the tools they let me have. Okay?” I rolled my eyes at her. “I’d rather have magic. Or anything remotely useful.”

“They can’t risk losing control of you.” Elizabeth finally quit laughing. “Nikolai has been in rare form. You got lucky you could walk away. His mistress couldn’t. She’s in the hospital right now.”

“He’s exactly how he’s always been. He just doesn’t have me to take it out on, so she’s getting the brunt of it. If she wants him so badly, she can have all of him.”

The women laughed at that, but then I remembered what Bunson said. That he was going to try to convince Nikolai to give me to him. Nik would take her over me any day. She was what he wanted. He only kept me for my name, my power, and his pride.

“She’ll die if she marries him. I think this whole episode has already proven that.” Elizabeth shook her head in disapproval. “Only the gods know why she’s sticking her nose in with him. Shameful anyway.”

“He won’t marry her. It won’t benefit him politically.” I disagreed. “Good for her. Bad for someone else.”

“Why are we talking as if another wife is a possibility on the table?” Elizabeth frowned.

“Because it is.”

“He’s talking about giving you away?” She gasped. “To who?”

“Bunson kindly informed me that he’s been asking for me.”

Fear coated my best friend’s face. “You can’t let that happen, Astria.”

“And do what? Take myself out on my terms?” I asked her. “What about Kylie?”

“Every time that man touches you, you come home different.”

“It’s fine.”

“Don’t.” She waved me off. “Sell that shit somewhere else.”

“I can’t think about it. Sobbing in a corner isn’t going to solve my problems.”

“He’ll finally break you.”

“I mean it, Elizabeth.” I squashed the fear trying to well through me. “I’m running out of gas. I have to save my last bit of energy for something productive.”

She sighed, but nodded her head. Her mouth set in grim disapproval.

“Any information outside of my pending demise?”

“Matthius Korvac went into hiding.”

My eyebrows went up. “The engineer? Why?”

“He wore the mark of the bitch.”

“What?” My eyes grew dry from how wide they were. No man had ever worn that brand before. “How is that possible?”

“They say he was caught trying to help a woman escape,” Elizabeth whispered as if a man were around to hear her. “Was it you?”

“I was caught running, but no one knew he let me out of the cage.” I lowered my volume to match her cautious one. “Where could he even go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are they investigating his connections?”

“Sure, but outside of us, when we were all kids, the man had no friends. He’s a loner.” Elizabeth shrugged.

I scratched at my collar, one of the engineer’s many inventions.

This was all interesting, but not what I needed. They knew the engineer was rogue. They were looking for someone broadcasting out. Which meant they didn’t think it was him.

“Any other suspicious behavior?”

She shook her head no.

“Anyone fucking with the shield towers?” Come on. Give me something.

“Why would they?”

“I don’t know,” I conceded.

I watched my Kylie and Elizabeth’s Everlynn play together. They were three years apart, but they were still thick as thieves.

“I assume you’re asking all of these questions because you still have a job to do for the governor.”

“Yeah.”

“Pack her a bag and bring her to me before you piss your husband off again. We’re lucky he didn’t find her while you were gone.”

A giant weight of relief lifted off of me. “Thank you.”

“Anytime. You know that,” Elizabeth said as her blue eyes smiled at me. One eye struggled to stay open where the giant scar was. Her husband did a real number on her. “Besides, we both know you’re in this position because of me...”

“Don’t be dumb. You don’t control what I do.”

“You wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t laid up in an infirmary bed. You would have just taken it and moved on with your life.”

“I love you,” I said, and I hoped she understood exactly how true that was.

“I love you.” I hated how sad her eyes were. The guilt that creased her forehead. She put up her pinky, and I hooked mine through it.

Kylie ran after Everlynn in a game of tag, and their pure energy was perfect. Everything in me wanted to protect them from the real terrors that lived in their own houses.

Of course, Everlynn was much faster than little four-year-old Kylie could keep up with. “Ever! Wait!”

When she yelled, gold magic flew from her hand in a flurry of stars, tripping a wide eyed Everlynn.

My heart stopped. She finally presented, and her affinity was like mine.

“Oh no!” Elizabeth gasped.

My worst nightmare came true.

I scanned the area, looking for anyone who might have seen the display of magic. Of course, in the distance toward the road, a man stopped in his tracks to stare at her. I stepped between her and his blatant stare.

“Hey! Did you hear about what I did? That’s the daughter of a feral,” I yelled over at him. “And she’ll be twice as feral as I am. I’ll make sure of that.”

It didn’t matter. It was in his eyes. He wanted the power my daughter could offer him or his son. My heart pounded in my chest. The information would spread like wildfire before the day was out.

“Look, Mommy!” Kylie clapped her hands together with glee. “My magic is like yours.”

And all I wanted to do was sob in her name.

“Yeah.” I smiled and tried to put on a brave face, but my voice broke. I’m sorry. “That’s fantastic.”

I covered my mouth with my hand, so she couldn’t see my expression.

“I’m gonna be just like you.”

Over my dead fucking body.Outside of the place I was forced to call home, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I would find.

I opened the door and scanned inside the destroyed house. Liquor bottles and trash littered the living room. That wasn’t too surprising. I tip-toed into the house, but it was useless.

He was sitting on the couch.

“Astria.”

I looked at the ground, so I wouldn’t anger him. He stood up and stomped over to me. I hardened my heart with every step, ready for a fight.

He grabbed my throat. “You stupid bitch, you’re an embarrassment. How do I control the men if it’s perfectly clear I can’t control my wife?”

“I don’t know.”

He threw me across the room into the china cabinet, and glass rained down on me. I tucked my face down to protect my eyes and allowed myself to dream about getting Kylie out of here until he was done doing whatever he wanted. If Dirus could really get her out of here, everything would be worth it.

When I didn’t move, he left the house.

I took mental stock of the pain and decided nothing was bad enough to fuss about. With shaky legs, I climbed to my feet and went to the coat closet, moving the loose panel to find her hiding in the darkness.

Her golden eyes blinked at me, tears trickling down her cheeks. “You’re home.”

I dropped to my knees and squeezed her too hard to my chest. She was here in my arms again. I’d made it back to her. I held in the sobs of relief.

When I released her, I searched her for any bruises. She was a mess, still in the clothes I’d left her in, and her hair was a rat’s nest. But she was perfect, as always.

“I’m hungry, Mommy,” she complained.

“Okay, baby.” I hugged her to me again, happy that she seemed to be in one piece. I fed and bathed her before I walked her to the park and went to stand in the circle of women guarding the play area while she ran to the jungle gym.

“Hi, Kylie!” All the other women waved.

As I approached them, they took a collective breath. But it was Elizabeth who spoke.

“Thank goodness she’s okay. I couldn’t find her when I broke in last night.”

“I had to make a new hide space. Nikolai found the old one.”

“You hid her so well, I couldn’t find it.” She smiled.

“She ran out of the food.” I sighed. “Days ago.”

“That’s the longest stretch you’ve ever been gone for.” Elizabeth frowned at me. “I wasn’t sure they’d let you come back. He was home, wasn’t he?”

I nodded.

“How bad was it?”

“Not as bad as it could have been.” I snorted.

“What hurts?” Elizabeth asked.

“Everything. Between Bunson and Nik, I don’t think any part of me escaped.” Not to mention my rounds with Dirus.

“Not to mention your time in the box before that,” Elizabeth tacked on.

“Just another day in paradise, right?” I rolled my shoulders as the throbbing tensed between them.

“Let me see.” She pulled the back of my top coat to look down. Her whimper said it was worse than I thought. And she would have only seen my shoulders. She dug into her pockets and handed me a couple of vials. “This one will help you heal and the other will take away the pain.”

I downed them and she took the vials back, hiding the evidence like she never had them. Then she looked down at my back again. “Better.”

“Mommy, watch!” Kylie’s sweet voice sang as she did the monkey bars.

“Good job, baby,” I answered excitedly. She was doomed to pay for my mistakes. Not anymore. If there was a chance to get out of here, I was fucking taking it. “Any new gossip?”

“A team of foreigners are on the island. One came into my shop and got Peter in a twist. You should have seen him trying to pretend like he knows anything about my herbs.”

“Oh yeah?”

“The man looked mean. Permanent scowl and he growled. But you should have seen Peter piss himself when he insinuated that Peter was stupid. It was glorious.”

If that didn’t sound like Dirus, I didn’t know what did. “How are the other men dealing with it?”

Elizabeth pointed to the bruises on her neck that were in the last stages of healing. “I made him look like an idiot.”

“How dare you,” I tsked at her sarcastically.

She quirked her eyebrow in annoyance. “Why’d they let you out?”

“I was supposed to kill the growly one.”

“Supposed to? You failed?” She smirked at me. “Someone was finally too smart for your stripper routine.”

“It’s a good routine.” I squeaked. “I usually get some grocery money out of it too.”

She laughed.

“I’m working with the tools they let me have. Okay?” I rolled my eyes at her. “I’d rather have magic. Or anything remotely useful.”

“They can’t risk losing control of you.” Elizabeth finally quit laughing. “Nikolai has been in rare form. You got lucky you could walk away. His mistress couldn’t. She’s in the hospital right now.”

“He’s exactly how he’s always been. He just doesn’t have me to take it out on, so she’s getting the brunt of it. If she wants him so badly, she can have all of him.”

The women laughed at that, but then I remembered what Bunson said. That he was going to try to convince Nikolai to give me to him. Nik would take her over me any day. She was what he wanted. He only kept me for my name, my power, and his pride.

“She’ll die if she marries him. I think this whole episode has already proven that.” Elizabeth shook her head in disapproval. “Only the gods know why she’s sticking her nose in with him. Shameful anyway.”

“He won’t marry her. It won’t benefit him politically.” I disagreed. “Good for her. Bad for someone else.”

“Why are we talking as if another wife is a possibility on the table?” Elizabeth frowned.

“Because it is.”

“He’s talking about giving you away?” She gasped. “To who?”

“Bunson kindly informed me that he’s been asking for me.”

Fear coated my best friend’s face. “You can’t let that happen, Astria.”

“And do what? Take myself out on my terms?” I asked her. “What about Kylie?”

“Every time that man touches you, you come home different.”

“It’s fine.”

“Don’t.” She waved me off. “Sell that shit somewhere else.”

“I can’t think about it. Sobbing in a corner isn’t going to solve my problems.”

“He’ll finally break you.”

“I mean it, Elizabeth.” I squashed the fear trying to well through me. “I’m running out of gas. I have to save my last bit of energy for something productive.”

She sighed, but nodded her head. Her mouth set in grim disapproval.

“Any information outside of my pending demise?”

“Matthius Korvac went into hiding.”

My eyebrows went up. “The engineer? Why?”

“He wore the mark of the bitch.”

“What?” My eyes grew dry from how wide they were. No man had ever worn that brand before. “How is that possible?”

“They say he was caught trying to help a woman escape,” Elizabeth whispered as if a man were around to hear her. “Was it you?”

“I was caught running, but no one knew he let me out of the cage.” I lowered my volume to match her cautious one. “Where could he even go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are they investigating his connections?”

“Sure, but outside of us, when we were all kids, the man had no friends. He’s a loner.” Elizabeth shrugged.

I scratched at my collar, one of the engineer’s many inventions.

This was all interesting, but not what I needed. They knew the engineer was rogue. They were looking for someone broadcasting out. Which meant they didn’t think it was him.

“Any other suspicious behavior?”

She shook her head no.

“Anyone fucking with the shield towers?” Come on. Give me something.

“Why would they?”

“I don’t know,” I conceded.

I watched my Kylie and Elizabeth’s Everlynn play together. They were three years apart, but they were still thick as thieves.

“I assume you’re asking all of these questions because you still have a job to do for the governor.”

“Yeah.”

“Pack her a bag and bring her to me before you piss your husband off again. We’re lucky he didn’t find her while you were gone.”

A giant weight of relief lifted off of me. “Thank you.”

“Anytime. You know that,” Elizabeth said as her blue eyes smiled at me. One eye struggled to stay open where the giant scar was. Her husband did a real number on her. “Besides, we both know you’re in this position because of me...”

“Don’t be dumb. You don’t control what I do.”

“You wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t laid up in an infirmary bed. You would have just taken it and moved on with your life.”

“I love you,” I said, and I hoped she understood exactly how true that was.

“I love you.” I hated how sad her eyes were. The guilt that creased her forehead. She put up her pinky, and I hooked mine through it.

Kylie ran after Everlynn in a game of tag, and their pure energy was perfect. Everything in me wanted to protect them from the real terrors that lived in their own houses.

Of course, Everlynn was much faster than little four-year-old Kylie could keep up with. “Ever! Wait!”

When she yelled, gold magic flew from her hand in a flurry of stars, tripping a wide eyed Everlynn.

My heart stopped. She finally presented, and her affinity was like mine.

“Oh no!” Elizabeth gasped.

My worst nightmare came true.

I scanned the area, looking for anyone who might have seen the display of magic. Of course, in the distance toward the road, a man stopped in his tracks to stare at her. I stepped between her and his blatant stare.

“Hey! Did you hear about what I did? That’s the daughter of a feral,” I yelled over at him. “And she’ll be twice as feral as I am. I’ll make sure of that.”

It didn’t matter. It was in his eyes. He wanted the power my daughter could offer him or his son. My heart pounded in my chest. The information would spread like wildfire before the day was out.

“Look, Mommy!” Kylie clapped her hands together with glee. “My magic is like yours.”

And all I wanted to do was sob in her name.

“Yeah.” I smiled and tried to put on a brave face, but my voice broke. I’m sorry. “That’s fantastic.”

I covered my mouth with my hand, so she couldn’t see my expression.

“I’m gonna be just like you.”

Over my dead fucking body.