Page 13

Chapter thirteen

Astria Zielle

Kylie played where the sand of the beach met the forest, collecting flowers. I pulled the pieces of the collar out of my skirt pocket. I stared out at the ocean, watching the moonlight reflect off the waves.

“Throw it out, Mama,” she told me.

When I threw this collar out into the ocean, my life as I knew it was over. What was in store for the future? What kind of world was really out there?

“I will.”

Still, my fingers tightened on the pieces of metal. Why was this so hard?

Let go .

My stomach twisted in my gut. The swirls of fear gripped me in its hold as tears trickled down my cheeks.

Cast the past out.

“Back home,” Dirus’s voice made me jump out of my skin as he suddenly appeared beside me. I hated the yelp that managed to escape from me. “They say women will often go back to an abusive or toxic relationship. Don’t do something stupid.”

I wiped my tears away, hopefully before he could see them. But I suspected he saw right through me.

“I’m not going back.” That wasn’t an option.

“You want to.”

“I don’t want to.”

He crossed his arms, making his huge biceps look even bigger. “Explain it to me. Why are you still holding that?”

“I don’t know anything about being free.” Such a strange concept. “I know how to be collared.”

His eyes softened as he studied me.

“Will you do it?” I held the pieces out to him.

“No,” he answered without hesitation. “Being free is going to suck. It will be confusing, new, and scary. You’ll fuck up and make mistakes. You will get hurt.”

I sighed. That’s what I suspected. That’s why I was clinging to the remnants of an old sense of understanding.

“If I rip that out of your hands like I want to and stomp it until it’s nothing more than shards of what was, then I take away your choice. Just like they did.”

“I’m asking you to.”

“Make your decision with your whole chest and stand by it.” He said it like he was quoting someone older and wiser. He stared off in the distance like he was remembering the person who said it to him, too. “That means you have to do the hard shit.”

I turned to look at my Kylie. I kept my eyes on her and threw a piece into the ocean as hard as I could. I even put some of my magic behind it.

Fear grabbed me in a chokehold, but I ignored the feeling. Like I had a million times before.

One by one, I sent the pieces flying until there was nothing left. With each piece in the ocean, it was easier and easier. I was lighter by the time my hands were empty.

I took in a deep breath and was surprised I felt steadier than I had in a long time. I could take my chance on the unknown. I’d survived this place. I could survive another world too.

His hand moved in my peripheral, and I jerked out of his way. I turned, ready for a fight, but his hand just moved at a slow, measured pace toward my face.

My heart pounded in my chest, but I let his rough fingers come in contact with my cheek. The pad of this thumb wiped away the remnants of the tears that had fallen before.

“I can help carry the rest.” The words came out like a vow. My stomach fluttered with a strange feeling that made me jittery as his dark eyes sucked me into a vortex I didn’t even care to get out of. “You just needed to know what you were willing to fight for.”

I stood there like a startled deer: wide eyed and frozen. Unsure of what to do or what I wanted, but unable to break the intense contact.

It couldn’t have been that long, but I felt like I’d been trapped in his gaze for hours. Like time had stopped and was floating around my insides.

He moved closer to me, and I realized his lips were coming in toward mine. I jolted back away from him, the spell broken.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was full of gravel.

“What are you doing?” Something about the whole situation made me want to run and get closer to him at the same time. I didn’t understand the feeling at all, but running was quickly winning the race.

He closed his eyes, and the hand that was hanging in the air after my retreat dropped.

“Being a cock happy pup.”

I didn’t understand most of that, but the word cock had me taking a few more steps back.