Page 6 of Huckleberry Hill (Saddles & Spurs #1)

Chapter Five

The Ranch

I set the box of pastries on the kitchen table and then stripped off my coat. I stood there for a moment, unmoving.

The front door opened and Muddy walked in.

“You’re back,” she said unnecessarily.

I nodded. “I brought pastries.”

“You look like you’re asleep where you’re standing,” she commented. “Seriously, Hadley. Take a nap. An hour at least.”

“Yeah,” I murmured.

I still didn’t move.

“Stairs.” She gently pushed me in the direction of the staircase.

I held up the bag from General Merc. “I need to do some laundry.”

“I’ll take care of it.” She took the bag from me and peered inside. “These are cute.” She pulled out the campfire and s’mores socks.

“I thought so too.”

She then pulled out the package of underwear. “Are you trying to be celibate?”

“Muddy!” I hissed.

Muddy let out a cackle. “Just kidding. But seriously. I wouldn’t even wear these. They’re granny panties for sure.”

“I so didn’t need to know that.” I rolled my eyes. “It was all Lucy had on hand. And I forgot to pack underwear.” I groaned.

“What?”

“I ran into Declan at the store and he saw me buy these.” I buried my face in my hands. “I’m going to shower and then lay down for a bit. I’ll help you with dinner prep, okay?”

“Sounds good, sugar.” She smirked.

“Stop looking at me that way.”

“What way is that?”

“Like you know something I don’t.”

“When you’ve been around the sun as many times as I have, you’ll smirk like I am too.”

“Well, it would be a privilege to have as much wisdom as you.”

“Who said anything about wisdom?”

I hugged her. “You’re so sassy. I love it.”

“You’ve got a bit of my sass.”

“Not as much as Salem,” I said, pulling back.

Muddy sighed. “Salem . . . What are we going to do about her?”

“We’re going to let her be who she needs to be.” I squeezed Muddy’s arm and then headed up the stairs.

My bedroom was chilly and I quickly shut the window, but not before I got a good look at the pen outside. Declan was on horseback, his broad shoulders fully displayed.

“Nope. Not doing that.” I hastily shut the curtains, but temptation was on the other side of it.

I’d just broken up with my fiancé, a man I’d been prepared to share my life with.

Broken promises and broken dreams aside, there was no reason for me to be lusting after the cowboy who rode a motorcycle, had a smile that made me quiver, and enough swagger that he could give some away to others and still have plenty left over.

There was a full bathroom that was sandwiched between Salem’s bedroom and mine. It had a double sink, a huge tub, and enough drawer space for all of our hair products and makeup.

I smiled when I thought about getting ready for school. We’d share the bathroom, talk about the boys we thought were cute, and I’d put the lip gloss in my backpack and she’d stuff the blue eye shadow we weren’t allowed to wear in hers.

A pang of longing went through my chest.

My phone rang.

I smiled when I saw the name flash across the screen.

“How did you know?” I asked the moment I picked up the phone.

“Twin thing,” Salem said. “I felt the call. So, I called. But also, hot damn . Your wrangler is next-level attractive.”

“He’s not my wrangler,” I grumbled.

“He could be your wrangler. I want to put my finger in his chin dimple.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Oh, someone’s feeling territorial already. Rawr!”

“I hate you a little bit,” I mumbled.

“Only because I’m calling you on your shit. Have Wyn and Poet seen the video you sent?”

“Doubt it. I haven’t gotten any calls from them.”

“Yet. Give it time. But seriously, talk to me. I have a few minutes before my next meeting. So speak fast.”

“I was just in our bathroom, thinking about high school, and how much I miss you.”

A beat passed. “I miss you too.”

“Should I have stayed in New York?” I asked. “I feel like I ran home with my tail between my legs. But when I’m with you, I’m home, too. Wherever you are.”

“How much sleep have you gotten?”

“Only a few hours. I was about to shower and take a nap.”

“You need it. You can’t think straight when you’re tired. That’s true for everyone. But let me say this. I would’ve loved for you to stay here for a month, but to what end? To sit alone and wallow in the apartment?”

“I wouldn’t have been alone. You would’ve been there. And Poet. And Wyn when she came back from the Hamptons.”

“Yeah, but you still would’ve been revolving around us and our lives.

For once you need to be the center of your own world.

And let’s be real, there’s no place you’d rather be than the Ridge.

You wouldn’t even have been in New York if it wasn’t for me.

So really, it’s my fault you met Gianni in the first place and got your heart broken. ”

“I’m not going to blame you for my terrible taste in men.”

“Okay, fine, but what really happened between you two?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, one minute you were engaged and ready to go to Italy with him. The next, you two were broken up and he went to Italy without you.”

“At least he didn’t wait to break up with me until we were in Italy,” I lamented.

“Yes, at least the bastard didn’t get a chance to ruin Italy for you. Offer still stands. I can go to his apartment and set his suits on fire.”

I laughed. “I thought you said you’d donate them.”

“Mashed or smashed. Same difference.”

“The saying is potato potahtoh.”

“ We’re from Idaho. Mashed or smashed. Never mind, we’re way off topic. Are Muddy and Dad happy as pigs in shit to have you home?”

“Yeah, they’re happy I’m here. But they miss you.”

She fell silent.

“They want to see you before Christmas.”

“Yeah.” She snorted. “So Dad can tie a rope to my ankle and keep me on the ranch until I die. No thanks.”

“I am to homebody as you are to nomad,” I quipped.

“I would fly out there,” she said. “My own issues aside—if you really needed me. Do you? Need me?”

I wanted her home with me because she was my best friend. But that would be selfish, knowing how hard it was for Salem to be at the Ridge.

“I think I’m doing okay,” I admitted.

She let out a sigh of relief. “Good. I mean, the offer stands. But you know the minute I come home, all the focus will be on me because I’m the drama. You deserve their undivided attention and to be doted on.”

“It’s true. I do deserve that,” I quipped.

“I don’t mean to do it, you know.”

“Do what?”

“Steal the thunder.”

“You never steal the thunder.”

“Liar.”

“Okay. How about I never care that you steal the thunder. And I really mean that.”

“That, I’ll believe.” She chuckled.

“I went into Sweet Teeth. Gracie says hi.”

“Ah, now I’m jonesing for the best honey-glazed donut in all the land. Tell her I said hi back.”

“I will.”

“The apartment isn’t the same without you here,” she murmured.

“I’ll be back.”

She snorted.

“What?” I demanded.

“I know you better than anyone. I know you better than I know myself.”

“That’s because your mind is like a dark attic full of cobwebs and moldy boxes that you refuse to open.”

“What a visual. Thanks. I guess the truth is I’d be very surprised if you ever came back.”

“I’ll be back,” I insisted.

“Why?”

“Why? What do you mean why ?” I asked.

“I mean, you hate New York.”

“I don’t.”

“You do. You so do. Hadley, you’re a small-town girl and New York is a massive, lonely city full of millions of people you’ll never interact with.”

“Then why do you like it?”

“Exactly for that reason. I can be anyone here and no one notices or cares. But you, you’re always going to be you . Small-town ranch girls who love their families and want to raise their kids riding horses don’t belong here. Gianni was . . . an experiment. An experiment that went awry.”

“The whole damn lab blew up in my face,” I muttered. Exhaustion pulled at my emotions, lodging them free. “I wasn’t entirely honest with you . . .”

“About what?”

“About why Gianni and I broke up.”

“Because he’s a douche canoe?”

“No. It’s because when I told him I was unable to give him children, he lied and said it didn’t matter. That we’d be okay . . . but then two days later he broke up with me. Over the phone.”

When she didn’t reply, I pressed, “Salem?”

“You can’t have children?”

“No.”

“But—how did you—when did you find out? And why didn’t you tell me?”

“I found out about two weeks prior to my breakup. And I was . . . processing.”

Mourning .

“I wasn’t ready to tell anyone,” I said softly. “Not even you.”

“I’m not just anyone. I’m your twin. Fuck, I knew something deeper was going on. I just knew it.”

“I had to tell Gianni because . . . well, because . . .”

She sighed. “Yeah. Okay. Fuck, Hadley.”

“Don’t pity me,” I commanded. “I can’t take pity.”

“It’s not pity,” she assured me. “But how about some empathy?”

“That, I’ll take.”

“Well, I think this is fucking great.”

“ Excuse me? ” I snapped.

“Not the news. The news sucks. But there’s a silver lining in all of this. You found out what Gianni was made of before you tied the knot.”

I sighed. “There is that, yeah.”

“Can you imagine being married to him and then finding out something like that? You need a man built of stronger stuff. Gianni doesn’t deserve you. I never thought so. This just confirms it.”

“Thanks, Salem,” I said softly.

“Have you told Dad? Or Muddy?”

“No. I haven’t been able to talk about it—until now. They know there’s more to my breakup than I’m letting on. They’re not stupid.”

“No, they’re not. You’re also a terrible liar. You know how I knew something deeper was going on? You didn’t drink,” she said. “When you drink you get loose-lipped. I should’ve gotten you schnockered and then you would’ve spilled the beans.”

“I’m afraid to drink,” I admitted. “Because what if I drink and then start crying?”

“Crying is okay. Crying is cathartic.”

“Says the girl who hasn’t cried in years.”

“I prefer breaking dishes to crying. Anger is better. Anger is the fuel for change.”

“If I was going to drink, I’d want to drink with you, Wyn and Poet. You guys . . . you make me feel safe, you know?”

“I know,” she murmured.

“Don’t tell them,” I said. “I’m not ready for them to—I’m still coming to grips with it.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Just be you.”

“Whew, I thought you were going to ask me something hard,” she teased. Her tone changed. “I’m sorry, Hadley. About the news.”

“Yeah.” Tears prickled my eyes. “Me too.”

There was a murmur of conversation on the other end followed by Salem saying, “I’m sorry, Hadley. I gotta get to that meeting. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

“Thanks, twin.”

“Any time.”

I hung up with my sister, missing her more than ever. I was glad she knew the truth. But I was coated in shame. Shame that my fiancé had left me because I wasn’t perfect.

I’m broken.

I hoisted myself off the bed and went to shower. And before I curled up in my childhood bed, I peeked through the curtains of the window, wondering if the dark-haired cowboy biker was the leaving type.