Page 13 of Huckleberry Hill (Saddles & Spurs #1)

Chapter Twelve

The Ranch

Muddy looked up from her crochet project and raised her brows. “You’re home.”

“Yes.”

She glanced at the clock on the mantle. “You’re home before nine.”

“Yep.”

“What happened?” She picked up the remote and muted the TV.

I sighed. “Gracie’s daughter got sick, so she bailed. I stayed for a drink and then I left.”

“You see Wade?”

“Yeah. He was working the bar.”

“How’s he looking?” Muddy asked with a raise of her brows. “Still cute?”

“Still cute,” I said with an amused smile.

“Still pining for you?”

“No,” I scoffed.

“You sure about that?”

“No.”

She laughed. “He isn’t dating anyone.”

“How do you know?” I demanded.

“Because our town is eight hundred forty-three people,” she drawled. “So, I know. Was he happy to see you?”

“Yes. Surprised too.” I paused, my brow furrowed. “I don’t want him to pine for me. I want him to date someone else and move on.”

“How noble of you.”

“Muddy!”

She grinned. “What? It’s nice to be wanted.”

He isn’t the man I want .

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” she said.

“Why didn’t you ever remarry after Grandpa died?” I asked. “I’m sure many men were sniffing around you.”

She picked up her crochet needle and bent her head to her task when she answered the question. “A few. But I wasn’t interested in taking care of anyone else again. The ranch was enough work.”

“You took care of me. And Salem.”

“You’re my granddaughters. It’s different than caring for a dying spouse.” She shrugged. “There is the other issue, also.”

“What issue is that?”

She looked at me. “I wasn’t going to marry for companionship, and I only fell in love once.”

“Once?” I asked.

“Once. You’re young, though. You’ll love again.”

“You were young,” I protested. “When Grandpa died.”

“I was older than you. By a decade.”

“But didn’t you miss . . . ya know . . .”

Her lips twitched but she didn’t raise her head. “Miss what, Hadley?”

“Are you really going to make me say it?” I grumbled.

She cackled. “Yeah. I’m gonna make you say it. Especially if you expect me to answer.”

“Didn’t you miss sex?” I stage-whispered, feeling my cheeks heat.

“You don’t have to be married to enjoy sex.”

I gasped.

Muddy looked up and winked. “Like I said, there were several marriage proposals.”

“Several? You said a few .”

“Several, a few.” She shrugged. “I’ve lost track.”

“You’re a trip,” I said with a laugh.

The front door opened, and I heard the plodding of boots across the wooden floor before my father appeared in the doorway.

“Hey,” he greeted, his gaze bouncing between me and Muddy.

“Hey,” I said.

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Nothing,” Muddy and I said at the same time, causing us both to laugh.

I stood up and went to my dad and hugged him.

“Thought you’d be out with Gracie until the wee hours of the morning,” Dad said.

“Thought so too,” I admitted. “Her baby got sick.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just the flu.”

He made a noise in the back of his throat. “I checked on Mirabelle. She’s gonna foal soon. In a few days, I think. I’ll call Dr. Swanson tomorrow and make sure she’s aware we might need her in the middle of the night.”

“I’ll give Mirabelle some extra love tomorrow,” I said. “I think I’m gonna turn in early. Gotta get up and feed those chickens, you know?”

“Have you seen Declan?” Dad asked Muddy. “I want to tell him about Mirabelle.”

“Nope. He said he was going to the Copper Mule for a drink.” Muddy looked at me. “Did you see him while you were there, Hadley?”

My gaze narrowed at her, and a devilish twinkle entered her hazel eyes.

“No, I must’ve missed him,” I said. “Good night.”

I escaped to my bedroom and closed the door.

My grandmother was a sly one. She saw all. She knew all. And I was sure she realized that there was something going on between me and Declan.

I grabbed my cell phone from my sweater pocket and debated on whether or not to text Salem. It was near midnight on the East Coast, but I was in desperate need of advice.

Me

You awake?

Salem’s reply was almost instant.

Salem

Unfortunately.

Me

I need help.

Salem

that encompasses a lot.

Me

Call me you loon.

A moment later, my cell phone rang and I went into my closet and closed the door to muffle the sound.

“Hey,” I greeted, smiling at Salem. Her red hair was messy and pulled back into a lopsided ponytail.

“Hey,” my sister said. “What’s going on? I thought you were out with Gracie.”

“How did you know that?” I demanded.

“Muddy told me when I talked to her earlier.”

“You talked to Muddy?”

“Yeah, I called her. I had a question about the chocolate cupcake recipe. I was blanking on one of the ingredients.”

“Brewed coffee, right?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Twin tingle,” I said. “Gracie’s daughter got sick. So it was just me and Wade at the bar.”

“He’s still in love with you, you know.”

“Not you too. Muddy said the same thing. But I don’t want to talk about Wade.”

“What do you want to talk about then?”

I paused and then said, “Declan showed up.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah.” I sighed.

“Oh my God, something happened between you two, didn’t it?”

“No. I mean, well, yes, but no.”

“Hadley . . .”

“We two-stepped.”

“I’ll alert the church elders,” Salem drawled.

“No, you don’t understand. We two - stepped. ”

“Unless you did it naked, I’m failing to see the issue. And that’s not really an issue, that’s a good idea actually. Naked two-stepping. It’s the new cardio craze.”

“Salem,” I hissed. “We almost kissed. In public.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t.”

“But we almost did.”

“Why didn’t you?” she demanded.

“Because I came to my senses.”

“You’re entirely too sensible. That’s your problem.”

“We can’t all be feral hyenas,” I mocked.

“That hurts . . . kind of.”

“It does not,” I said with a laugh.

“I’m getting Wyn on the phone and we’re taking a vote. Let me go get Poet.”

“A vote? What do you mean a vote? A vote on what?”

“Hang on.”

“Salem—”

“ Hang on!”

A few moments later, Poet grumbled, “I was almost asleep.” She took a seat on the couch next to Salem. “What’s this meeting about?”

“Wyn?” Salem asked.

“Here,” Wyn said, her face appearing on the screen.

I leaned forward. “You have something on your shirt.”

“It’s puke. The kid puked on me.”

“Ew.” Salem wrinkled her nose. “You should really shower.”

“I was going to,” Wyn said, “but you called, and I answered.”

“We have been summoned,” Poet stated. “So, what’s this about?”

“Hadley almost kissed Declan,” Salem announced.

Poet and Wyn were silent, but their mouths dropped open in unison.

“Almost?” Wyn asked, regaining her voice. “Why almost?”

“Because she’s a big fat chicken,” Salem said. “So, we’re taking a vote.”

“A vote?” Poet asked. “About what?”

“About if she should kiss him for real,” Salem said.

“I vote yes,” Wyn said.

“Me too,” Poet added.

I glared at her.

“Sorry. I need to live vicariously through you,” Poet said.

“Same, I’m in a major dry spell,” Wyn said. “These days, my eye candy is nothing but balding middle-aged men trying to recapture their youth. And hairlines.”

“Let’s talk about why this is a bad idea,” I said.

“Let’s not,” Salem replied. “We love you, Hadley. But you’ll always find a way not to do the scary things.”

“Kissing Declan isn’t scary,” I denied.

“No?” Wyn asked. “Then why won’t you do it?”

“Well, because he works for my dad. And there’s the rule. I don’t want him to lose his job.”

“Were you going to kiss him or was he going to kiss you?” Poet asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if he was the one who was going to make the move, then he’s obviously throwing caution to the wind and deciding it’s worth the risk,” Poet said. “Ergo . . .”

“Yes, ergo ,” Salem agreed. “If he kisses you then it’s not on you if he loses his job.”

“That’s so cavalier,” I stated.

“Is this because you’d feel guilty?” Poet asked quietly. “Like, would you feel like you’re betraying Gianni?”

I thought about her question for a moment and then reluctantly shook my head. “No. It doesn’t really have anything to do with Gianni.”

“That’s interesting,” Salem said.

“I know this sounds weird. Like really weird. But since I haven’t heard from him and I’ve been back here . . . it feels like it happened in another life already.”

“I don’t think that’s weird,” Poet said. “If anything, it proves we were right in telling you to go home to heal.”

“There are two types of healing. Emotional and physical. It’s time to jump back in the saddle, woman,” Wyn said. “Get your groove back or whatever.”

“I’ll think about it,” I lied. “Thanks for the advice, peanut gallery. I’m gonna go now.”

“One more thing,” Salem said.

“What?” I asked.

“Do it scared,” she said, her eyes meeting mine.

I groaned. “That’s not fair.”

“I think it would be good for you,” she said. “Live a little.”

“Why? You live enough for both of us,” I replied.

“Mommy and Daddy are fighting,” Wyn said. “I’m out.”

“Me too,” Poet added.

The two of them left and it was just me and my sister.

“I’m worried about you,” she said.

“Why? Why is me being cautious something to be worried about?”

“Because you’re always cautious,” she said.

“And the one time I wasn’t, I got my heart broken,” I pointed out.

“Did you? Did you really get your heart broken?”

“Now you’re doubting how much I loved Gianni?”

“Loved? It’s already in the past?”

I fell silent.

“Is it?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Because if I say yes, then did I really love him at all? And if I say no, am I pathetic?”

It was Salem’s turn to fall silent.

“I just wish . . .” I stopped.

“Go on,” she pressed.

“I just wish I wasn’t so confused.”

“What are you confused about?”

“Everything. Nothing.” I sighed. “I like Declan. But I’m so angry at Gianni that I don’t trust that I’m seeing straight. I don’t want to make another foolish decision and then have to deal with the fallout. You know?”

“Yeah. I know.” She paused. “Does anyone else know? The real reason you and Gianni split up?”

“No. You’re the only one. I almost told Poet, but she was in the middle of a crisis when I called.”

“Her co-worker taking credit for her work. Yeah, she told me.”

“Coming home was the right choice,” I said. “But I miss you. And I miss Wyn and Poet.”

“But you don’t miss your life here.”

“No, I don’t think I do,” I admitted. “New York doesn’t fit me the way it fits you.”

“It’s okay, you know. If you decide to stay. I’ll be okay.”

“If I decide to stay,” I said quietly. “New York doesn’t fit me, but maybe the Ridge doesn’t fit me anymore either.”

She snorted.

“What?” I demanded.

“It’s not a failure on your part for loving home, for wanting to be home. For needing the big blue sky and the mountains.”

“But what’s here for me?” I asked.

“What’s in New York?”

“Touché.” I scratched my forehead.

“Have you mourned?”

“Mourned? Mourned Gianni and the loss of that relationship, you mean?”

“Kinda. I meant about . . .”

“My infertility,” I remarked bitterly. “No, I don’t think I have. I can barely stomach thinking about it. All I’ve ever wanted was to have a family. I’m not ready to let go of what I thought my life was going to look like. I’m not ready to say goodbye to that dream.”

I thought about Declan. Was he the type of man to leave, to walk away when things didn’t go according to plan? Gianni had done exactly that. Even worse, he’d promised me it didn’t change how he saw me and our life together, but it had been a lie. Because in the end, he’d left.

“I’m tired,” I said quietly.

“Okay.” Salem’s voice sounded so far away. Too far away. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

Neither of us hung up and because Salem was Salem, she knew I needed another moment.

“You might be okay without me in New York,” I said. “But I don’t know if I’ll be okay without you here.”

“I can’t go back there, Hadley.”

“I know. I’d never ask you to.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Things will look better in the morning,” she promised.

“Lie.”

She grunted. “Well, they’ll look how they’ll look. It’s your decision on what lens to look at life through. Good night, twin.”