Page 29 of Huckleberry Hill (Saddles & Spurs #1)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The Hot Spring

I stared into his eyes after I admitted the truth to him.

He said nothing, he just continued to hold me. His gaze was unyielding.

“Say something,” I blurted out when the silence became unbearable.

His hands reached up to cradle my cheeks. “I love you.”

My eyes widened. “What?”

“I love you.”

“You can’t love me.”

“Why can’t I?”

“For the reason I just said.”

His expression morphed from tenderness to intensity. “I do love you. And I don’t care that you’re infertile.”

“Declan, stop,” I begged. “You don’t mean it.”

“I don’t?”

I shook my head, my hands going to his wrists, gently squeezing and tacitly asking him to let me go.

“You can’t love me,” I said again.

“Explain that to me, because I’m sure that I do.”

“But how?” I blinked. “We’ve only known each other . . .”

“Two weeks.”

“Two weeks,” I agreed. “You can’t possibly . . .”

“I could possibly. And I do.”

I tried to move—but he was still inside me. And he wrapped his arms around me and forced me to stay caged within his embrace.

“You love me too,” he declared. “And that scares you. But that’s okay. You can be scared all you want. I’m not running. I’m not taking the brand deal. I’m not leaving you , and I never will.”

Emotion screamed through my chest, clawing up my throat. “You say that now. But you’ll change your mind. I know you’ll change your mind.”

He stared at me and his expression cleared. “That’s what happened with your fiancé, didn’t it? You told him about your infertility.”

I bit my lip and nodded. “He said it was going to be okay. That we’d still be together and have a life. And then . . . he left me and went to Italy alone. He said he was okay with it, but he wasn’t. Having children of his own was more important to him than having a life with me.”

“He’s a son of a bitch and stupid to let you go. Well, his loss is my gain and I’m not making the mistake of ever letting you go. You’re mine and I’m yours, and nothing else matters.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted him to be everything that Gianni wasn’t, but my heart had been broken once before by a man who was supposed to love me unconditionally.

“I’m not Gianni,” he said quietly, leaning forward and brushing his lips against mine. “And if you want a family, we’ll find a way to have one. I promise. Adoption, surrogacy, whatever you want, Hadley.”

“How, Declan?” I whispered. “How is this going to work?”

“It just will,” he vowed. “Because when it’s right, it’s right. And we’re right. More than right.”

“I want to believe you. But how can I?”

“Time. You take all the time in the world to come around to the idea that I’m not leaving you.”

“I’m broken?—”

“No.”

“All I’ve wanted—since as long as I can remember—is a family. It may not be enough for some people, but it’s enough for me. I always dreamed of a loud house with a large family.”

“Not all families are blood. Some are made. We can make any kind of family you want.”

Fresh tears gathered in my eyes, and they streamed down my cheeks. He kissed them away with his lips.

“You want to know when I fell in love with you?” he asked, kissing my forehead.

“When?” I sniffled.

“The moment you fell on top of me the very first time I ever laid eyes on you. You were adorable and embarrassed and blushing. And I just felt like . . . like I’d been knocked off my feet.”

“You were knocked off your feet,” I pointed out with a smile. “You’re telling me it was love at first sight?”

“Yup.”

“Oh.”

“Oh, what?”

“That’s why you never cared about telling my father, right? I mean, you never even thought of putting your job before me.”

“There is nothing before you. There’s you, and then there’s everything else.”

I sighed. “You’re not love-bombing me, are you?”

“No. I’ve never said those words to another woman.”

“Thirty-two-years old and in love for the first time?” I cocked my head. “No wonder you carried me over your shoulder like a caveman.”

“Had to get what was mine.”

He shifted under me, rearranging me a little. The warm water swirled between us, and I let out a low chuckle.

“What?” he asked.

“Muddy tried to tell me.”

“About what?”

“She told me she married my grandfather sixteen days after meeting him.”

“Did she now?” He smiled.

“Yeah.”

“That woman knew what was going on long before you did, huh?”

“Not that long before.” I rolled my eyes. “Considering we’ve only been dating a couple of weeks. This is insane. You get that, right?”

“Why is it insane?”

“Well, because who says I love you this fast?”

“People who are lucky enough to find the one they want to share the rest of their life with. And when you find that, you want your life to start immediately.”

“Immediately.” I sighed dreamily. “I guess it’s not so crazy. I mean, I was with Gianni two years before we got engaged. Look how that turned out.”

“Exactly.”

My fingers threaded through the hair at his nape.

“So, New York . . .” he trailed off.

“What about it?” I asked.

“You can’t really go back there. Not now.”

A heavy boulder that had been weighing my heart down suddenly shifted. I took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m not going back to New York. I think I’ve always known that.”

“If you really loved it, I’d go with you,” he said quietly. “If your heart was really there, I’d follow you.”

“And be completely miserable,” I said with a deep belly laugh. “You’d hate it worse than me, I’m sure.”

“Most definitely,” he said, leaning forward and kissing me again. “But how can I hate any place where you are?”

“Stop, you’re making me swoon.”

He pressed his forehead against mine. “Swoon away, bear snack.”

“I’m ready to get out of the spring,” I said. “But we forgot the towels.”

“Ah, yeah, in my haste to see you naked, I forgot to grab them. I’ll get them for us. You stay warm.”

I lifted myself off him, achingly slow, causing us both to groan in pleasure.

“That has to happen again,” I gasped.

“After I feed you,” he said. He stepped up onto the bench and out of the pool. “Be right back. Shit, it’s cold!”

I giggled and dunked myself up to my chin to stay warm.

Declan glanced at me, the light of the moon and stars showing the heat of his gaze. And then he dashed toward the truck, disappearing from my sight.

“I’m getting dressed first!” he called out. “Give me a minute!”

I floated on my back in the hot spring, my eyes on the sky. A wave of peace settled over me. I’d always been the good twin, the one who did the right thing. I wasn’t loud or bold. I wasn’t ostentatious. I was downright modest.

I’d lost myself. I’d accepted Gianni’s excuse for ending things, thinking there was something inherently wrong with me.

But Declan . . .

Declan showed me that I could be loved for exactly who I was.

Declan proved to me that I was deserving of a family, of having my dreams come true. And that I didn’t have to sacrifice a part of myself to feel worthy of that love.

I was crying again by the time he returned with a big fluffy towel.

“No, you’re crying again,” Declan said. “What happened? I shouldn’t have left you alone and given you time to think. Come out of there and let me hold you.”

His words only made me cry harder. “Happy tears,” I blubbered.

“They don’t sound like happy tears. You’re a very loud bawler, did you know that?”

I laughed through my watery gaze. “Are you trying to distract me?”

“Yes, is it working?”

“Kinda.” I waded through the pool to the edge and got out.

I’d barely begun to shiver before Declan had the towel wrapped all the way around me.

He rubbed his hands up and down my arms to warm me up and then he slowly led me back to the truck.

He’d lit an oil lamp that rested on the roof.

Between that and the moon, I could see fairly well.

I changed into my pajamas and then climbed up into the truck bed, sliding into the sleeping bag to keep my lower half warm.

I’d never given Declan back his hoodie and I’d packed it with me for the night. I threw that on, too.

He came around to the back of the truck and set the picnic basket down onto the sleeping bag and then climbed up, taking a seat next to me.

I opened the picnic basket and pulled out the goodies and arranged them on the cutting board between us. The cheese, fruit, and baguette had been pre-sliced, the jams set in their own containers with several serving spoons.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked as he took a piece of apple and brie and put them together.

“Sure.”

“The first night we were together, and you said you couldn’t get pregnant . . . you weren’t talking about birth control, were you?”

“No,” I admitted. “I wasn’t.”

Nodding slowly, he took a bite of his cheese and apple combination.

“Are you mad?” I asked quietly. “That I didn’t tell you right away?”

“Not even a little bit,” he said. “Look, I can’t imagine what it must feel like, finding something like that out. No, Hadley. I’m not mad you kept it to yourself. I’m glad you told me tonight, though.”

I ate a piece of bread and let it settle in my belly. “I promised myself I’d tell you the truth tonight. But I didn’t expect . . .”

“What?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t expect your reaction.”

“It’s not bullshit. I’m not a liar.”

I reached out and cupped his jaw. “I know that. You’ve been honest about who are you from the beginning. Even though I didn’t trust it at first.”

“I should be offended, but I’m not. You didn’t want to get burned again. I get it. We often don’t see things when we’re right up on it.”

“My sister and friends are going to have a field day.” I laughed. “That’ll be a fun conversation.”

“Which part?” he asked. “When you tell them you’ve fallen in love with me, or that you’re not going back to New York?”

He looked at me, his gaze steady. As confident as Declan was, he still wanted to hear the words.

“Both,” I said quietly. “I think they’ll be more surprised about me falling in love with you so quickly. It goes against every bit of my cautious nature.”

He smiled and held up an apple slice to me. I bit off half, and he demolished what was left.

“That’s why you told me not to give the brand deal an answer right away,” he said suddenly.

I frowned and nodded. “I wasn’t sure how you would take my news. I didn’t want you to feel . . . trapped. I didn’t want you to miss out on something without having the whole picture.”

“You are the whole picture.” He pulled out the container of olives. “I know this is a lot.”

“The food? No, it’s the perfect amount. Let’s crack the cider open, while we’re at it.”

He handed me the olives and reached for the bottle of hard cider. “No, I didn’t mean the food.”

“Oh.” I paused. “Yes, it’s a lot for sure. My head is spinning. But I kind of wonder . . .”

“Yeah?”

“If I’ve been living in black and white . . . until you.”

Smiling, he popped the cork on the bottle of hard cider. “Cheers, bear snack. Here’s to living in full color.”