Page 65 of How To Take Down A Cult At The End Of The World

I bite back a grin and turn into Jaak’s side. “Sorry. I was only poking fun.”

Mort sighs. “I know, I’m just defeated,” he mutters and his shoulders slump, “I moved here to start fresh in a non-magicalplace and there’s a doomsday cult in the mix? That was not advertised by the real estate agent.”

“They’re cunning,” Jaak offers. “We’ve only managed our home through the demise of one.”

Mort nods. “Good. Eat the rich.”

Jaak makes a face but nods all the same. “Yes, a feast.” I keep my mouth shut. Mort isn’t making sense and I’ve teased him too much.

“How does your nearsightedness work? Like, they have to pass in front of you?”

He nods. “Yes, my abilities are hampered by distance. Anything past a few feet and I can’t detect it unless the power is extreme. Hence why I was able to track you the second you walked by, stuffing yourself with that candy everyone loses their minds over.”

I point a finger in the direction of the candy shoppe. “You’ve never been in there? It’s enchanted. At least the candy they gave us was spelled in some way. We couldn't stop eating it.”

He makes a face. “I’m more of a savory kind of guy. Sweets don’t sit well with me, so I’ve never been. I never even picked up a hint of magic from it either on my way to work.”

He sounds sad about not picking up on the magic. I wonder why.

“And seeing magic is your whole thing? I mean, along with the tentacles?”

“If you must know, my wholethingis magic detection. My kind have been sentries to the most powerful beings in all the worlds. My family is quite well known for it. You can imagine the disappointment they feel at my shortcomings. They would be ashamed to know that I was unable to detect an enchanted candy shoppe.” He runs his hands through his hair and starts to pace. We’re at the back of the shop, near the cash register and Mort puts his hands down on it and leans forward with a heavy sigh.

“I don’t think he’s okay,” I whisper to Jaak.

“The Oculus does seem to be distraught. Do you think he wants the rich?”

Mort’s head comes down on the counter with a thud and the man sags forward entirely like cooked spaghetti. “No, I don’t think a snack will help right now.”

Mort starts talking again, face pressed down on the counter so his words come out in a muffle. “I thought that because I detected you that maybe somehow my sight got better. I thought if I vanquished you and brought you to my family as proof they would see that I was fine. That I was one of them.”

One of them.

“I-I just wanted them to like me.”

My heart sinks when I hear Mort’s sad words. “I get it,” I tell him. “Getting the disappointing your family hand in life blows.”

“It blows so hard. Harder than a gam of whales.”

“But just because we disappoint our families doesn’t mean they’re right. They’re the disappointing ones,” I say, forging on past the word gam. I’m going to have to get a dictionary to keep up with Mort’s lingo. “I-I don’t think your family is right. You’re not a disappointment.”

“I couldn’t even stop you and there’s an enchanted candy shoppe two doors down.”

“And the cult,” Jaak supplies helpfully.

Mort wails and kicks the counter. “The freaking cult!”

I poke his ribs before he can say anything else that might make Mort spiral and Jaak covers his mouth. Mort sniffles and I know I have to do something to comfort him.

“Look, it’s just one of those things. Sometimes life is shitty and sometimes it’s not but if it’s never shitty then how can you know when it’s good?” I ask him and come close to put a hand on his shoulder. “Families are the same way. Sometimes we’re given shitty ones that hold us to standards and goals that we neverasked for.Hello, they brought us into existence and it’s really selfish for them to do that and then be upset we’re not how they imagined. We never asked to exist.”

Mort stops crying. “Go on,” he says and I rub his shoulder.

“A bad family doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve a better one and when we’re finally given a good one we’re going to know. There’s no way we’re going to miss it, and do you know why?”

He shakes his head. “No,” he says into the counter.

“Because we know what a bad one feels like. There’s no way we’ll miss seeing it when a good one finds us.”