Page 63 of How To Take Down A Cult At The End Of The World

“Enough to know what it sounds like.”

“Okay, you can turn around,” the tentacle mutters.

Jaak and I both turn to see a middle-aged man with white blond hair, wire frame glasses, and a scowl on his face. He’s dressed like a librarian with slacks and a tweed coat. He’d be handsome if I didn’t know what he was.

He adjusts his glasses with an agitated sigh. “I’m Mort.”

I raise a hand in greeting. “Hi Mort. I’m Meadow and this is my husband Jaak.”

Mort raises an eyebrow. “I thought you were his master.”

“Same thing,” Jaak interrupts and points a finger at him. “What is your business here?”

Mort puts a hand up to his chest. “Me? I’m an innocent Oculus left in charge while the owner and purveyor of this fine establishment attends a wedding upstate.”

“So they weren’t on a camping trip?” I ask. “A murder sacrifice demon-summoning camping trip to be specific.”

“Murder sacrifice what?” Mort makes a face. “Never. Carol hates camping. She’s throwing back margaritas and no doubt making a grand speech at a country club by now.”

“What’s a country club?” I ask.

Mort gives me an up and down look. “You’re from that weird cult town, aren’t you?”

My mouth drops open. “Me? You’re saying that like you aren’t an eldritch horror in a cult town yourself!”

“Yes, you! You have a minotaur husband, missy. A dead give away you are from that town through the woods.” Mort laughs. “And for your information, there’s no culthere!”

Jaak gives Mort a sympathetic look. “You truly are blind for an Oculus. I thought your kind were famed for their magic detection. You truly have no idea of what is going on here, do you?”

Mort has the good grace to look offended at Jaak’s words. “Just because my abilities are a bit…latent doesn’t mean I would miss something like that. I detected you, didn’t I?”

“He’s got us there,” I say. “You did know we had power. Even so, why did you think we were evil? We’re not, by the way and that weird cult town isn’t so weird anymore, it’s under new management. Newnon-evil management.”

Mort scoffs. “I might be weak in my magic detection but you’re delusional if you think that town is ever going to change. Everyone knows they’re in cahoots with demons.”

“You keep your anti-demon sentiment locked up, Mort or I’ll split you in two.” I lift my sword and point it at him so he remembers exactly how sharp it is.

He holds up his hands like he’s in a stick up. “My apologies, ma’am.”

“That’s more like it. Manners are always in style,” I say. I rock back on my heels and look around the destroyed toy store. “Mort, we’re being honest with you. We’re here on official cult-hunting business. Your town is ground zero and I’m pretty sure they want to destroy the world.” I think back on what I heard them chanting and then nod. “Yes, there was absolutely world destruction mentioned in their dance number.”

“If you require more proof then look into our eyes and see the truth. Use your unholy gaze.”

“His what? What do you meanunholy?” I ask, backing up and bumping into Jaak when Mort steps closer.

Jaak puts his hands on my shoulders to keep me in place. “The Oculus Gaze. It’s a tried and true method for his kind to suss out the truth. Hold still, my heart. This will only take a moment.”

Mort leans down to look at me. His eyes aren’t eyes, not really. At least not the normal kind. The second that I let Mort look into mine, his eyes change, rings of light pulsing in them as he stares into my eyes.

“Okay, yeah, go ahead and stare deeply into my eyes for fun. What could go wrong there?” I have to force myself to stay stillbut a second later it’s over. Mort doesn’t even bother to look into Jaak’s eyes. Whatever he’s seen in mine is enough.

“No nono.” Mort pales and then doubles over. “Oh my god. You’re telling the truth. There’s a bloody cult here!”

“Of course we’re telling the truth. Who would just make something like that up?” I ask.

“Plenty of fools,” Jaak says.

“A lot of idiots,” Mort howls.