Page 6 of How To Take Down A Cult At The End Of The World

“The feminine what?”

“Think, Meadow. Nothing that made you feel off? Maybe suddenly powerful, a little paranormal where you never were before? Did you bite into some pasta and suddenly feel like you could cast a spell or,” he gestures at the ceiling, “levitate?”

“Paranormal? Charlie, what the hells have you been watching on that satellite television you got last week?”

“Mostly nature documentaries but that’s neither there nor there, Meadow. Now, listen to me, a few days ago, I got into my head that Buffy was gonna need backup, okay? So naturally, I started tinkering with the book and what I could do to get her that backup.”

“Backup for what?”

“Backup to handle the changing world. We’re not all safe and snuggly in a cult bubble anymore, the real world is coming and it’s coming fast, and I was right. Those mini demons have been going ham all over town.”

It’s true. The mini-demons have been a menace. How could something so small be so troublesome? There needed to be a height requirement on evil.

“I can’t believe something mini-pig sized could be terrorizing us,” I tell Charlie with a serious look but he doesn’t share my porcine lament.

“Meadow, screw the mini-pigs, for one minute okay? Do you understand what I’m saying?” Charlie throws his arms out and laughs. “I made you into a freakin’ witch!”

Chapter

Four

“You did what to me?!”

“A witch,” Charlie says again like I’ve forgotten what the word means in the .5 seconds since he said it. “Wait,” he holds up both hands and lifts his chin, “if I made you, that kind of makes me your god, right? Your maker, if you will.”

I roll my eyes. “Charlie, zip it.”

“You’re right. Maker is too vamp territory.”

“Drop the vampires and think clearly.” I swallow and take in a calming breath like everything is fine. “I need you to explain to me step-by-step how you made me a witch. Howexactlydoes someone make a witch? You can’t do that.”

“It’s pretty easy actually, when you’re a god,” he says, flicking imaginary lint off his shirt.

I get to my feet and point at him. “If I am a witch, I’m going to levitate you through a wall if you keep messing around. This is serious.”

“Okay, I’m sorry, this is just so cool. I wasn’t kidding about the god thing, though. I mean, Lethos was a god and he made Sunday. I’m only human, but I am a human in possession of a magic book, so it wasn’t me that made you a witch. It was thebook. Or, maybe since I used the book, I conjured your magic situation?”

“I’m a situation now?”

“Yeah, duh, you’re a witch now. Totally worth the book going haywire on me tonight.”

“I-I’m not a witch,” I insist but that feels wrong because I can feel something inside of me that wasn’t there before. Pulsing, writhing, like something woke up in my bones and is too big for my body to hold. My bones ache from the weight of it. It’s a relief. It’s power. The grief at my world collapsing was getting too heavy to carry inside of me. If I have power in me, there’s no room for the grief, it forces it out, pushes it to the edges of my body until I can hardly even feel it.

“Meadow. Come on.You were floating.Right up to the ceiling! That’s BWIT energy.”

“BWIT?”

“Big Witch In Town.”

“Charlie knock it off,” I groan. “Now is not the time for an acronym but… wait a sec.” I hold up a hand to stop him from talking when I realize what Charlie just said. “Two questions–when did you have time to cast a spell to make a witch and what do you mean the book went haywire? Define haywire.”

Charlie doesn’t answer me because he’s looking at the ceiling wistfully. “You were like a superhero up there, if superheroes didn’t move.”

“Charlie,the book.” I snap my fingers at him and he blinks in surprise, like I just threw a bucket of water on him. “Now look who needs to focus,” I say and he sticks his tongue out at me.

“Touché, but my book is more interesting than some mini-pigs.”

I cross my arms. “I beg to differ. You’ve never seen a purse pig, buddy.”