Page 9 of How To Survive This Fairytale

Laying down to sleep with Favorite tucked beneath your arm.

Laying down to sleep with Favorite balanced on your lap.

Laying down to sleep with Favorite sitting right on top of your heart.

Feeling so happy you don’t think it can end.

Feeling so happy there’s no possibility except for it to end.

* * *

In this way, three months pass.

7.

KEEP THE SWAN ALIVE.

Waking early one morning,you step outside into a world made of mist.Five swans move like white ghosts across the lake.The sixth stumbles out the door after you, honking in despair because you didn’t wait for him.

Together, you follow the path into the woods.

Together, you check each of the traps you’ve set.

They’re all bare.

“No meat today,” you murmur.You run your hand down Favorite’s feathers, stained with blood and ooze from Gertrude’s blisters.For a time you simply sit on the path, feeling sorry for yourself, feeling sorry for Gertrude.While petting Favorite, your stomach rumbles, and you’re caught in that hard place between wanting to eat and wanting to chew on a mouthful of dirt so that youstopwanting to eat.

Then: the sound of horses.

Still crouching in front of the trap, you raise your head, searching the gray air for the source of the noise.

A small retinue breaks through the fog.Armored knights carry banners; between them, at the center, a crowned woman rides in a dress of vibrant blue.Her beauty strikes you like lightning: all your wordssnapout of your body, which burns hot from head to toe.Favorite tugs at your pant leg, but you cannot move.

“You dare obstruct Her Majesty’s path?”asks one of the knights.

Another dismounts.“You will bow for your queen,” he says.He looks ready to force you to your knees and leave you there to be trampled by the horses.

“Hush,” says the queen.Her voice is silken, silvery.The hand she holds up is smooth, completely unblemished by the labor of curse-breaking.“He’s only a child, can’t you see?And look.He’s brought me tribute.”A smile cuts open her deep red lips, and she looks at you with bright satisfaction.“How did you know I’ve been wanting a dress decorated with swan feathers?I thank you, sweet boy.”

The same knight that dismounted wrenches Favorite into his arms.

“Wait,” you start, “wait,no, he’s?—”

Dead.

One thick hand twists around that fragile neck, and Favorite goes limp.

THAT CAN’T BE THE WAY THIS STORY ENDS.

(YOU DON’T WANT YOUR SINGLE SOURCE OF JOY TARNISHED BY THE KNOWLEDGE YOU KILLED HIM, DO YOU?)

Try Again?

The sound of horses.

In three months, you haven’t encountered anyone in these woods except for Gertrude.She fled here seeking a quiet place to break the curse in peace.Gathering Favorite into your arms, you hurry off the dirt path and into the brush, tucking yourself behind a tree and hoping it’s enough to hide you.

The horses get closer, and closer, then slow and stop.