Page 48 of How to Date a Prince (Being Royal #1)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I t’s a dreary October Wednesday, with low cloud and sideways rain, and wind that won’t quit. Next Monday night is the final Renaissance Man episode with the in-studio back-to-back episode to debrief.

As for today with Thomas, we’ve agreed to meet out in the South Downs at the country house like it’s Renaissance Man shooting all over again, away from the prying eyes of London, back on the estate with special permission and all the security arrangements after I begged Alyse to help me see Thomas.

When I pull up my Land Rover beside Thomas’ SUV rental in the gravel lot in front of the house, he gets out.

I slip out of my vehicle, flipping my hood up on my waterproof parka with a furry hood.

Dressed for the elements, I step out of my trainers into wellies since we had agreed on a walk together, rain or shine—or both with the recent unsettled weather.

I’ve brought a picnic along, just in case, set on the passenger seat in a wicker basket. Very optimistic of me.

Alyse pulls up her car a little distance away from us, ever watchful from her black SUV.

We stand facing each other between our cars. Thomas looks unusually nervous. I feel, for once, calm.

“Hi,” I say softly. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too. How’re you feeling?”

“Well enough to drive, so that’s progress. Thanks for meeting me.”

“Who knew royals could drive?”

“We have to ramble around our vast estates somehow.” My lips twitch.

Thomas relents into a smile.

We pause for a moment, taking in the sight of each other. We’re nervous, but I’m also so relieved to see him. And in some ways, it feels like no time has passed since we last saw each other, even if so much has happened since.

“Actually, I faked it all the way from London,” I assure him knowingly.

“I’m very convincing. Plus, I’ve packed food and a tea thermos to start a new life in the countryside.

Or around Croydon.” I squint at the sky as Thomas’ smile broadens.

“It’s brightening in the east, but who knows.

Maybe we’ll picnic inside, if you want a picnic.

Anyway, you should see me in a 4x4 sometime. Top-tier acting.”

“I guess I underestimated you.”

“Easy mistake.” I do my best to sound nonchalant, but it’s an old wound in a collection of ancient wounds some professional historians should study. “Anyway, the SUV’s a few years old now, but I got it when I had my horse to tow a trailer.”

“Well, I suppose royals have to move their horses around too, though I would’ve figured you have staff for that.” Thomas holds my gaze, a flicker of a smile on his lips. A familiar tease, with affection.

My heart thunders. I can’t help but think of that late night together, when I told him about my old dreams and hopes, Olympics and everything else. And I wonder if he’s remembering that night too.

I press my lips together, trying to channel any actual acting into seeming like I have some chill, though Thomas is smart enough to know I obviously don’t.

“We do. But it’s way better to trailer your own horse.

More street cred. Also, I was competing a lot, and it was easier for me.

Or maybe driving my horse around made me feel like I had some control over something. ”

He nods. Thomas glances at the sky as rain splatters down on us. “Let’s walk. Maybe we can head to the stables as a destination.”

“It’s a plan.” I retrieve the wicker basket and put the carry strap over my shoulder.

“Let me know if you get tired of carrying the food, and I’ll switch with you.” Thomas gazes at me from the cavern of his navy waterproof.

We walk along to the back of the house, then set out on the familiar track that winds through meadows and the woods, with the familiar spur that led down to the outbuilding that I used for my pottery.

And the other main track Thomas and I had gone on our first walk together in the warm glow of summer.

Now, everything is turning lush green again with the rain, which comes in sheets with the wind.

And yet, I’m happy out in the poor weather because I’m together with him.

Even if we’ve spent five minutes bullshitting about my ability to drive.

When we reach the edge of the woods, we walk along and take the path that leads down to the stables as the rain starts lashing down.

“That’s brisk.” I tug down my hood as we enter the stables. Thomas slides the door shut after us. The horses are in their box stalls, given the foul day.

“I’m not sorry to have a roof overhead for a little while,” Thomas admits, shivering. He gazes around, goes to pet one of the horses, who nuzzles him in search of food. “Have you been riding since the summer?”

“No.” I shake my head, coming to stand next to him. I gaze at the horse. “I haven’t made it quite back in the saddle yet. I’m… not ready. Driving is recent enough. And I haven’t driven this far since the accident.”

Thomas frowns at me. “Don’t overdo it, Auggie. Please.”

“Don’t worry, I’m doing my best to take care. But I wanted to see you. I needed to see you.”

“We could have seen each other somewhere closer.”

“Getting far away from London was the best plan. This is good,” I tell him as I stroke the horse, still not looking at Thomas. “It’s a familiar space, anyway. I was happy here with you.”

When I give him a glance, his expression softens at the sight of me. “It is. And I’m happy to see you too, in case I didn’t say already.”

“You might’ve. Well, let me see if I can find a blanket or a heater or something.

” I set off to explore. There’s a Dutch door that leads into the tack room.

Not only is there a heater, but also a table, chairs, and all the horse blankets one could want.

I turn on the space heater, setting it in the middle of the room.

“Aren’t you frozen too?” Thomas asks.

“I have lots of down feathers on my side.” I smile, patting my parka.

“I only have a fleece under this. Didn’t pack for hiking when I came over.”

“I suppose I have the advantage of my full wardrobe at home.”

We sit at the table. I pull off my wool hat after it starts to warm the room and stuff it in a coat pocket, and then I open the basket and start setting out a collection of food.

It turns out to be quite the feast packed up for me, from the requisite sandwiches to fruit and cheese, biscuits, cake, and even sparkling tea.

I pour the thermos of tea first, passing a mug over to Thomas.

The steam rises from his cup as he sips.

I sit down beside him as we warm up a little by the heater. It hums in the quiet. It’s like we’re in our secret world, even if it does smell rather like horses and leather.

I search his eyes. “I owe you another apology. And my gratitude.”

He blinks in surprise. “Sorry?”

My lips curl into a smile. “My gratitude is for taking such excellent care of me after the accident. And for, err, not overthrowing the kingdom so far.”

He laughs.

“Nonsense. My pleasure to take care of you. You saved me, after all. Like a prince from a fairy tale. My hero,” Thomas smiles warmly. “Some court bard somewhere should be singing your praises. I mean, you royals must have bards or something.”

“I hear you’re good at singing,” I tease gently.

He chuckles. “I don’t know if I’m so good at medieval songs.”

“Who said anything about medieval? I’ll take contemporary. Pop, even.”

Thomas laughs again. “Maybe later. And what’s the apology for?”

“For… for not opening up to you in the summer,” I tell him.

“Because you meant—and still mean—the world to me. I know you have someone new in your life now. And I hope you’re happy.

But I need to let you know that you’re so important to me, Thomas.

I think you’re the first person that’s really seen me, that I’ve been with, even if it was for a few short secret weeks.

You mean everything to me. And I wish I could have told you that then and not pushed you away. ”

Thomas looks startled. He sets his tea down. “I…”

“You don’t need to say anything. I mean, I know why I acted the why I did.

Which was out of fear, mainly. And my urge to please my father and do what was expected of me.

Except if I’m honest”—I hold his gaze—“I need tell you something. Which is: I’ve fallen in love with you.

And I know it’s too late. But I want to tell you that.

And I will find a way to live my life and let go. ”

A range of emotions shift over Thomas’ fine features, a raw sort of vulnerability settling over him. His eyes are a little too bright. “Oh, Auggie,” he whispers. “I?—”

I reach out and squeeze his arm. “I don’t expect you to say it back. I mean?—”

Then, Thomas shifts closer to me, catching my jaw.

He leans in to kiss me. But before he does, tantalizingly close, I put a hand on his forearm to still him.

“Wait. Please. There’s how I feel, but there’s also how you feel.

And what you want. And need. Like… like Adam.

Like your obligations to your family.” I gulp back some air, like I’ve already used all the air in the tack room.

“I needed to tell you for my sanity. To prove that what we had meant something. That it was real. In the studio recaps, I’ve also told the British public about how I feel about you, too, on the voice-over.

I—I hope you’re not angry. But—you’ve been clear about your path. And my path is still my path.”

He pauses to search my eyes, blushing. “I’m not angry. I saw them. They called me in for interviews, too, and played back yours as well… I’m honored, Auggie.”

“And I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I owe you another apology as well. I’ve been so selfish.

All this time, I’ve been thinking of me.

And about running away from my problems. But I haven’t considered the impact of all of this on you too.

The accident was as traumatic for you as it was for me. And I suppose breaking up…”