Page 3 of How is This My Life? (Shorts)

Elise’s POV

It had been three weeks since I moved out of the apartment and in with Denise and Aaron.

They helped me pack everything up that night so I’d never have to see him again.

They had been amazing in every way possible.

Denise gave up her office, which used to be their guest room, that she used for schooling, and where they would have family come to visit, though the only family that came to visit was me.

Denise would still come into the room some days to use the desk, which was the only place for it.

It was a nice break from the silence I surrounded myself with.

I would lock myself in there most days, sleeping, or getting sick from the thought of what happened with Trevor, or wondering if he had been sleeping with her for a while and just asked for the open relationship to ease his guilt.

I had scheduled a STD/STI screening at my doctor's immediately, but still hadn’t been able to get in.

That appointment was this week, though, thankfully.

I called my landlord the day after I moved all my things out and explained the situation to her.

She was a kind, elderly lady, and her husband had run off with his secretary back in the seventies to Boca.

She said she understood and had been thinking of raising the rent there anyway.

I laughed, thankful that she was showing her support in her own way.

And while I didn’t get my whole deposit back, I did get part of it back since I had to break my lease early.

Then I changed my address at the post office and with HR at the hospital.

Those, fortunately, were the only phone calls I needed to make to discuss anything to do with this unpleasant matter.

I was zoned out at the moment, staring out the window of the guest room, lost in memories, snuggled deep in my nest of blankets and pillows.

I was trying desperately not to smell whatever was being made for dinner because it was making me want to spew my guts for the fifth time today.

“Girl,” Denise said gently, coming in and sitting on the bed, moving some hair out of my face, “It’s been three weeks, and you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.

I don’t think it’s flu or heartbreak. So, while we were out at the store today, I bought these.

” She pulled out three different brands of pregnancy tests.

No fucking way.

“There is no possible way I’m pregnant. We were always so careful, with condoms, and I was on the pill.” I was doing the math, or trying to, in my head. And I couldn’t remember through the fog when my last menstrual period was.

“I know,” she said with her hands up in surrender.

This suggestion was the most lively response she had gotten from me since I’d been staying with her and Aaron, so I knew she was trying to be careful about her approach, “but we need to know. If it’s not this, we need to check it off the list of things it could be.

If it is, we need to tell your OB about it when you go in to get the STD test because there’s no telling if he was with others before he asked for the… you know.” I nodded.

As much as I hated to admit it, it made sense.

Condoms and birth control fail all of the time.

I knew. I was a nurse. And I’d been consistently sick basically all day, depending on the smells, since the night I left.

At first, I thought it was just the thought of Trevor with someone else.

Now? With this suggestion and the pregnancy tests in front of me?

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, and the tears were trying to come again.

I wasn’t ready for more tears. I had cried enough for a lifetime.

“What if I am?” I asked barely above a whisper, “I don’t want him to have anything to do with my pregnancy or my baby.

At least not in the state he’s in now. Not when he’s all about exploring and experimenting .

” She pulled me into a warm hug, rubbing my back, soothing me from the crying fit that was coming on.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, babe.

We’ve got to find out if there’s a baby to worry about first. Use this.

” She gave me a small smile as she handed me a red solo cup from the pack of them that we’d used only weeks ago to get drunk off our asses and drown my sorrows the night I left him.

Oh god .

If I were…that was the last time, but there was a possibility I might have still been pregnant then, if I was at all, since I had no idea when my last period was.

“I got a few different brands. We can dip them and find out.” She said, like the different colored boxes scattered on my bed weren’t proof of that. I just nodded, taking my plastic cup to go pee in.

How was this my life?!

I shuffled in my fuzzy socks, oversized pajama pants, and one of my dad’s old t-shirts to the bathroom, gently closing the door and doing my business.

I set the cup on the counter, and Denise came in, tests ready to be dipped, and gave me the honors.

We set timers on our phones after dipping them and laying them out on the countertop, caps on and face up.

I turned around. Not able to look at them, just in case one decided to be done early.

Aaron knocked on my bedroom door and poked his head in to tell us dinner was ready.

Denise and I were facing away from the tests, holding hands, pacing between the bathroom door and the length of the bedroom.

Just as he went to shut the door, the alarms on our phones started going off.

Neither of us moved; we just stared at the bathroom.

Aaron, the hero he was, stopped and poked his head back in, looking at us frozen in place in the middle of the bedroom.

“Need me to check?” He offered. I looked at Denise, then at him, and nodded.

I was too chicken shit to check. The thought of being tied to Trevor forever had me sick to my stomach, but the thought of finally becoming a mother had the butterflies in my belly going nuts.

He padded his bare feet into my bathroom, taking his time looking at all the tests thoroughly.

“Well,” he said from the bathroom, sounding light and, if I wasn’t mistaken, a little teary, “Looks like we’re gonna be godparents, Nise.” He looked over at us, holding up one of the digital tests, results facing us.

What?

I moved at that, letting go of Denise’s hand, though she was hot on my heels.

“No fucking way,” I muttered as I picked up each of the tests.

I checked each of them, then looked at and re-read the directions for each of them.

My breath caught in my throat as more tears streamed down my face.

I was going to be a mom. I felt both of their arms as they wrapped me in a tight, warm, familial hug.

This had been what I wanted for so long, and now I was doing it on my own.

So many thoughts were assailing me. How could I do this?

How would I be able to care for such a small human by myself?

Would I be able to do it? Would I be a good mom?

Would Trevor want to be involved? I tried my hardest to push those thoughts away and just melt into the hug of my best friends, my chosen family.

The two people who had been there for me through all of the ups and downs life had thrown at me.

The two people who would be godparents to my child.

I melted into that embrace, clinging to them like a lifeline.

“I’ll talk to my boss tomorrow. Get you something drawn up so he can’t touch you or the baby, okay, Tot?

” Aaron’s deep voice rumbled through his chest. He was 6’8”, which dwarfed me and my 5’5” stature.

I felt Denise’s head nodding against mine as she stood 5’8”.

She was absolutely stunning with her beautiful, dark hair, blue eyes, and athletic body.

They were perfect for each other. I squeezed them tighter, nodding into both of them, knowing they’d do whatever was needed to protect me and their godchild.

The three of us only had each other.

My parents died a few years ago in a boating accident.

They were deep-sea fishing, something they loved doing for years, when I got the call.

Denise and I were at work when officers came in.

They hadn’t been able to reach me by phone.

Denise worked in the ER downstairs while I was on a general med/surg floor.

I had heard someone shout my name, sounding panicked.

I turned to where the sound came from and saw her racing to me.

The officers were following behind her at a slower pace, but I understood.

Something had happened. She wrapped around me, tears streaming down her face.

She was breathing hard, trying to catch her breath and stop the tears, when the officers walked up to us, asking for my name.

“We’re very sorry, but there’s been an accident. Your parents' boat sent out a distress signal,” a ringing in my ears was all I could hear. I caught bits of what they were saying.

Pirates…positively identified the bodies…robbed.

I crumpled. My knees gave out. My parents.

The very foundation my world had been built on and stood atop for twenty-six years had crumbled, viciously ripped from under my feet.

Aaron and Denise helped me plan the funerals while Trevor handled the legal side of things.

Mom and Dad’s lawyer was a family friend I’d known my whole life.

He sat me down a week or so after and read their wills to me.

That was the darkest period of my life. I took all the bereavement time (a whooping six days graciously given because I’d lost two family members and it was supposed to only be three days) and PTO that I could.

Aaron and Denise, those two amazing people who had never left my side and didn’t let me falter when it felt like I wouldn’t survive, didn’t have their families' support.

Their families had said they were ‘ sinning’ by being together, by loving each other.

I swear I was thrown back into a time when interracial couples were something to be condemned when I heard that.

Denise, being a white woman, was expected to be with a white man.

Aaron, being a black man, was told he was turning his back on his people and choosing the oppressors.

They met in college freshman year, fell in love hard and fast. When they introduced each other to their families over the first big holiday break, they had been strongly opposed to them being together.

They were both kicked out of their respective families when they defended their relationship.

Their families both refused to help them out at all, including paying for college until they ‘woke up’ and ‘saw the error of their way’.

Denise had been my best friend since my sophomore year in high school.

When I told them what was happening, my parents helped with living arrangements and paid for college for them both.

They had always been, and raised me to be of the mind that love is love.

No matter the color or gender, everyone deserves it.

“We got you,” Aaron’s voice, deep and reassuring, wrapped around us like another hug, “Both of you.” He smiled down at me as he pulled out of the hug.

“Who knows! Maybe it’ll be a boy and I won’t be outnumbered in this house anymore!” He started laughing as Denise rubbed my belly, a wistful look on her face.

“I can’t wait to meet you, baby. Auntie Nise is so excited for you to be here.

” Silent tears fell down my cheeks, so thankful for my tiny village.

The only family I had left in these two amazing people, knowing my parents would have been thrilled to be grandparents.

“I work tomorrow, so I’ll ask around about an OB. ”

“I called Dr. Nell the day after everything happened. She could only squeeze me in this week because she’s been on call, then covering for the other OB at the hospital, and she's just getting back from vacation. She’s awesome!”

“Okay! I’ll meet you there tomorrow, if you want.

I’ll call up to your floor in the morning just to check in.

” I paused, and we all moved from my room to the kitchen.

The smells weren’t as bad now, and my stomach actually rumbled.

Aaron started dishing out dinner. Homemade jambalaya.

I was about halfway through my bowl when I set my fork down.

“I have to tell Trevor,” I said quietly, knowing my conscience wouldn’t let me keep this from him.

I may not recognize who he is anymore, but I had spent so much time with him that I didn’t feel good about keeping this news from him.

This was life-changing, something we’d talked about frequently for years.

“What do I tell him? What if he wants to be in the baby’s life?

What if he wants Tawnya involved in the baby’s life?

What do I even do with that? I mean…we literally just found out.

” I let the silence hang for a moment before I continued, knowing this was really what he wanted, and he might not want anything to do with the baby.

“He wants to live out his party years, which is on him, but…” Denise reached over and grabbed my hand.

Aaron looked between the two of us, seeming to take control of the situation.

He’d always been the big brother I’d never had, but always wanted.

Someone who would protect those he loved and cared for, someone who would give me crap and poke fun, but wouldn’t let anyone else do the same.

“We will cross that bridge when we get there. Like I said, I will talk to my boss first thing tomorrow morning. He knows a good family lawyer who helped him in his divorce a few years ago. He also knows about the prick who tossed my little sister away for some cheap thrills. This lawyer, though? She’s a shark from what he’s said.

” His promises were reassuring, comforting in a brotherly kind of way that confirmed I wouldn’t ever be completely alone in this.

How is this my life?