Page 2 of How is This My Life? (Shorts)

“I need to use the restroom. Excuse me,” I could barely get the words out as I stood up, beelining for the bathroom.

I could feel the tears starting, pricking the backs of my eyes.

I needed to get out of here. I couldn’t be anywhere near him anymore.

I needed to go. Now. Slipping into the women’s restroom, I pulled out my phone and called my bestie, Denise.

It rang and rang and eventually went to voicemail.

I was shaking, but I couldn’t be mad. I knew she was probably working on a paper or something to finish getting her Nurse Practitioner's License, so I called her fiancé, my other bestie, Aaron.

He picked up on the second ring.

“Hey girl. What up?” Hearing the smile in his voice, I tried, and failed, to stifle a sob as it ripped past the lump in my throat. It felt like my throat was constricted, and I could barely swallow, let alone talk.

“El?” I could hear the alarm in his voice. He was fully focused on whatever I was trying to tell him, “What’s wrong? Where you at?”

“Trevor…he…I…help.” The tears were in a free fall down my face, my shoulders were shaking, and my lungs were unable to take a full breath. I couldn’t stop the sobs that were coming full force now.

“Send me your location,” he hung up the phone.

Elise: Dante’s

I went into a stall and cried my heart out.

I let it all out. All the late nights. All the ‘just a little longer’ promises that would never come to fruition.

All the times he promised, ‘just one more year’.

It was over. After thirteen years, our love story was over.

I cried for the girl I was, the dreams I had, and the future I thought we were working toward.

I knew he had been pulling away for the last nine or so months, but he’d always blamed it on work stress, on trying to get that promotion.

I knew that witch had been trying to get her nasty, disease-ridden claws into him since she started at the company.

And tonight, she finally succeeded. She had finally tempted him away.

I wasn’t going to waste time fighting for a man who had already started walking away.

I deserved better than that, and I knew it.

I had to be strong and make moves for myself, to better my life.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but at least I had Aaron and Denise.

Walking out of the bathroom after crying for ten straight minutes, I went back to the table where Trevor was already texting on his phone.

He didn’t even notice me approaching. He didn’t look up until he heard my voice.

“I’m not feeling too hungry anymore.” My voice was calm despite the pain coursing through my body. He looked at me, unable or unwilling to even notice the red, swollen eyes I was looking at him with. How could he not notice? He used to notice everything. Every little change in me.

“I just ordered for myself. I wasn’t sure when you’d be back. Do you want me to order you something? The usual?” When I didn’t say anything, just staring at him, he shifted in his seat. “You’re cool with this, right?” I wanted to scoff. I wanted to throw my drink in his face. I wanted to slap him.

But I didn’t. I wouldn’t stoop that low for someone who thought he could do this to me.

“I called an Uber. I think I ate something funky earlier. Let’s talk about this tomorrow?” I tried to act like I hadn’t already made up my mind.

“Yeah. I’ll be home after work. I’m meeting the guys and Tawnya for drinks after work. We present tomorrow, and if all goes well, I should get my promotion, and I want to celebrate a little. Do you want me to cancel?”

“No. Denise is going to come take care of me if I get too sick.” In all actuality, I would be packing my things and leaving our shared apartment.

That was more like it, but I wasn’t telling him that.

He lost all rights to know what I was thinking and what I was doing when he asked me for that stupid open relationship. He wanted to toss our life away, fine.

“Have fun. Be safe.” I turned and walked out the front door, just as Aaron pulled up. I got into his truck and sat there like a statue. Mute and unmoving.

“El. What happened?” I could tell he was concerned, but I could only focus on keeping myself from falling apart until we were in private.

“Can I stay with you and Denise for a while?” I saw from the corner of my eye as his eyebrows scrunched together.

“Always, but I need to know what happened.” His deep baritone voice wrapped around me like a brotherly hug, letting me know I was safe. I felt the familiar prick of tears coming to my eyes again, and it was all I could do not to lose it.

“Could you call Denise so I don’t have to repeat this? I don’t have it in me.” I tried to keep my voice from shaking, to keep strong, but I knew I wasn’t putting forth the best front. He called her, putting her on speaker phone as she picked up on the first ring.

“What happened?! What’d that slimy rat bastard do to her?!” She sounded angry and panicked, both at the same time. Aaron waited for me to say something. I took a deep breath, the silence stretching on for just a beat as I swallowed past the lump in my throat, keeping my eyes closed.

Because maybe if I did that, this would all just be some horrific dream that I would wake up from in the morning.

“He wants an open relationship. So, he can ‘ explore what’s out there’ with fucking Tawnya. ” I spat her name like it was the most foul-tasting thing I had ever had in my mouth. Crickets greeted my news. The silence felt thicker than a curvy girl's thighs or pea soup.

“Would you guys be willing to help me get my stuff from the apartment tomorrow? He’s going to be with her and some of the people from work. All of whom apparently know that they’ve been planning this for god knows how long.”

Denise gasped. I felt the first tears fall again, and when I opened my eyes, Aaron looked ready to march into the restaurant to kick his ass right now.

“Please?” My voice quivered, done with talking for the night. I knew any more words that left my mouth wouldn’t be audible, and I doubted that the boulder in my throat would allow any more to pass around it.

“I’ll meet you guys there. We can get it all.

Tonight . I’ll bring our extra suitcases for everything you have.

I don’t want us to ever have to go back there or see him again, unless it's to break something. I have dibs on his nuts and kneecaps. Love you both,” she hung up, and the silence stretched on again.

Aaron looked at me, leaning across the center console, and me, to get me buckled in, so we could go clear out my things. He slowly pulled out of the parking lot, driving back to my apartment I used to share with Trevor.

Not my apartment anymore.

I was stuck in a daze, unable to process anything else tonight.

My world had changed so drastically, I wasn’t sure what to do next.

I knew I had to leave him, the apartment, and the life we had planned behind.

I was a monogamous girl through and through.

I only ever wanted one man, and for one man to want me.

I didn’t think that was so weird, but maybe I was wrong?

There was no way I could ever be with someone I didn’t have that emotional connection with, and I sure a heck couldn’t be with someone who could sleep with someone else, anyone else, while still being with me.

I needed fidelity. Was that too much to ask?

How…how is this my life?