Page 47 of House of Payne

“Thank you so much.” I kiss him again with all the love and passion I have bottled up. “I appreciate your understanding. I already can’t wait to be home with you again.”

I can’t wait to leave this ugly chapter of my life behind me, either, and everything it’s bringing to the surface.

When this is over, Noah and I can move in together and start our lives.

I just have to make it through the year without losing myself, and a small, terrified part of me is wondering if I can.

What if the London who leaves isn’t the same one who comes back?

“I can’t wait, either. How much time do we have before you go? I’ll make sure we fill the time with so many fun things that you won’t be able to forget me while you’re away.”

“I could never forget you,” I promise. Then, I take a deep breath. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

He’s stunned. Hurt fills his eyes. I hug him again, as if that will take away his pain. Maybe if I hold him tightly enough, Mason won’t be able to make me go.

“Wow,” Noah says. “I… is it okay if I stay with you tonight, then?”

“Of course. Though I need time to talk to my father as well. I’ll need some privacy to let him know what’s going on.”

Noah blows out a breath, and I can hear the defeat in his voice whenhe speaks again. “I understand. I’ll give you all the time you need. I just don’t want to leave you alone tonight. I still can’t even fathom what I’ll do while you’re gone.”

“I’ll still be with you in your heart.”

We kiss until we’re interrupted when my father walks in. Noah looks at me empathetically. He knows what happens next.

“I’m going to head upstairs to make your bed,” Noah says. “I’m going to make some tea, too. I want you to be as comfortable as you can.”

“I appreciate that,” I tell him. He’s too good. I realize more and more that I don’t deserve him.

As soon as he leaves, my father steps forward to hug me briefly.

“Where have you been?” he asks. “I was so worried about you. You can’t just disappear like that.”

I ignore the lump in my throat and square my shoulders. “I know. I’m sorry. I was talking to some people who might be able to help us. And I couldn’t leave before seeing it through.”

“What do you mean?” he asks. “If this is about the money, I told you not to worry about that. I’ll figure it out. There’s got to be a way, and…”

“Dad, you know it’s not that easy.” I want to be kind to him, gentle. I’m being as gentle as I can be, but he also needs to see the truth. He’s been blissfully blinded for too long. “We owe a lot of money, and it’s not simple to come up with it. I’m proud of you for doing everything you can. But now there’s something I can do, too. I have a job opportunity that will provide us with enough money to pay off your debt.”

He gives me the same skeptical look Noah did. If only I could be honest, he and Noah would know I’m telling the truth. They would understand why Mason is willing to do this.

“What kind of job?” he asks. “I don’t want you to do anything… damaging, illegal, or harmful to get us out of this mess. I’m the one who caused it. I should be the one to pay the price.”

I wish I could explain nicely that it’s not possible. This was alwaysgoing to affect me, and I’m sure he knows that.

But I can’t bring myself to say the words that’ll break his heart forever.

He and Noah deserve to live in ignorance. It’s the least I can do for them.

“It’s not anything like that. This job is legitimate, making real money in an honest way. I can’t tell you the details because it requires confidentiality. But it will help us, and it won’t damage me. It’s the answer we’ve been looking for.”

He’s not convinced. Noah would go along with almost anything I say. My father isn’t as pliable.

“Something is up,” he argues. “There’s more to this than you’re saying. I want you to be honest. I think I’ve shown you in the past that I can be trusted. I don’t freak out about anything you say. You can be open.”

I want to be. I want to tell him everything. I don’t want to lie to either of them.

“I am being honest,” I insist. “This will be good for us, I promise. In the meantime, I am kind of tired and overwhelmed by this. I’m going to take a bath and head to bed, but first… there’s something I have to mention about the job.”