Page 18 of House of Payne

“I appreciate it,” he cuts in, “but there’s not much you can do, London. I wish there was, but there just isn’t. I’ve followed every lead and searched down every avenue. I’ve put everything into fixing this, and there just aren’t any good options.”

His words give me chills.

Why is it so easy for him to give up?

Why doesn’t he want to fight?

It’s not like him to be so jaded, and I realize with a sickening jolt that things must be far worse than I thought.

He lets out a deep sigh and averts his gaze. “For now, I’m just going to get some sleep. As much as I’d love to spend more time with you, I’m exhausted, I’m drained, and I just need to rest. You should call it an early night, too. Don’t stay up too late.”

“Of course,” I reply, covering my concern. It’s very unlike him to turndown sundaes. This is really affecting him, and try as I might, I’m not sure what to do to ease the tension.

So, after watching him walk up the white-carpeted stairs flanked by photos of happier times, I turn to the kitchen. The freezer light falls on me, accusing me of eating my pain away as I take out the ice cream, hot fudge, and candy pieces.

I make sure to maintain a fit figure, but a little treat every now and then won’t spoil that. Besides, I really need it.

Once my sundae is complete, I make a cup of my favorite herbal tea to help me relax. Just as I’m ready to dig into a peaceful evening, there’s a knock at the door, and I freeze.

Is it the men from earlier? Will they hurt my father again, or are they here to hurt me this time? What can I do to protect us? Do I even stand a chance?

I grab my pepper spray and a baseball bat on the way to the door, then peer out of the peephole. My muscles loosen, and the knots in my stomach unfurl as I see the only person I’d want to see right now.

“Noah,” I sigh as I open the door. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going home.”

“I know you wanted some time alone with your dad, but I couldn’t just leave you after everything that happened.” Noah’s eyes move over me intently. “Can I come inside?”

I usher him in so I can lock the door, then turn to give him a hug that expresses the feelings I can’t quite put into words. He hugs me back just as tightly, a reassurance I desperately need tonight.

I want his embrace to keep the demons at bay.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers. Then, he kisses the top of my head. “What happened today is even more reason for you to move in with me. You need to get away from this mess. It’s dangerous.”

Oh, no.

I need his support and advice to navigate the unfamiliar terrain, but itsuddenly pisses me off that he wants me to leave. Especially after what we both witnessed today.

“I’m not going to get into that right now,” I warn, my voice rising in anger. “Honestly, Noah, I can’t believe that you expect me to leave my father alone. Don’t you care about him?” I step away from him, my fear, confusion, and anger melting together into frustration toward the safest person I can take this out on. “If you’re going to be like that, you might as well leave.”

I can’t bear the thought of turning my back on my father.

Not like this.

No matter how angry and disappointed I am, I can’t leave him to the wolves howling at his door.

How can Noah not see how much he needs me?

Noah puts up his hands in surrender, caught off-guard by my hostility. “I’m sorry, Lo. I didn’t mean to press the issue at a bad time. I just want to keep you safe. Those men today scared me. I was terrified to think something bad would happen to you. I’ll do anything I can to protect you, but I’m not ignorant. I doubt I would’ve been a match for them.”

“They scared me, too,” I admit, shivering at the memory. “I want to be safe. I never want to see or think of those men again, but I do have to take my father into consideration. He’s at risk, too. I can’t leave him alone. Not now.”

“I understand,” Noah assures me. “You want to keep him safe just as I want to keep you safe. I think your father would agree with making you a priority over him.”

I give him a warning look. “This isn’t up for discussion. I won’t leave my father.”

“We don’t have to talk about that right now,” he says. “Let’s just relax for the night. Did you already make your nighttime tea?”

“I did. I made a sundae, too. If you behave, I’ll make one for you.”