Page 60

CHAPTER 59

CHASING CARS

WILDER

T wisty’s is packed for a Tuesday afternoon.

It’s unseasonably warm for October, but it’s the perfect send off for the ice cream shop, which will close for the rest of fall and all of winter. Cricket, Cass, and I stand at the window of the gigantic ice cream cone and order—chocolate raspberry for Cass, strawberry for Cricket, and dutch chocolate for me.

Even without the ice cream, we can’t stop smiling.

Despite our lawyer running us through the process, I didn’t have a clue how the custody hearing would go. He said it would be open and shut, that we really just had to show up, but I barely slept last night, terrified that somehow I’d fail this final check and lose Cricket forever. So I put on my best suit and gathered up my best girls, taking them to the courthouse where our fate awaited.

Cricket didn’t have to come, but she wanted to, and I couldn’t tell her no any easier than I could Cass. I sat in that courtroom, the judge flipping through papers while my lawyer talked. I don’t think he even got through the whole stack before he made his ruling.

And now, Cricket is mine, legally, forever.

The relief melted me like a warm pat of butter. I thought I was going to liquify, my knees knocking as we exited, shaking hands with my lawyer before taking the hands of my daughter and wife.

Patty and Paul had asked if we wanted them to come, but I told them no, and I don’t think they were sad either. I’m sure this handoff of Cricket is bittersweet, on top of our relationship hurdles, which we’re mostly past. They tried to flex on me a couple of times where Cricket was concerned, but after everything we’ve been through, I found I wasn’t afraid of them anymore. And in turn, they finally found some respect for me, even deferred to me by default.

It’s been a nice change.

Trent’s been in jail without bail since the whole gunpoint situation, as is the landlord who killed Ashley. I don’t know how long it will be until either of their trials, but I’m not holding my breath to find out. I have, however, kept my promise to Trent as best I can—Cricket started writing him letters, and they’ve become pen pals. Every day when she gets home from school, she bolts to the mailbox to check if he’s written, which is cute as hell. And when she hits the jackpot, we read the letters together. Mostly the two of them talk about school and baseball, sometimes Ashley. Always the damn kitten that I didn’t want but that constantly seems to find its way into my lap. She’s a furry, smoky gray thing with green eyes that Cricket named Sparky Snugglesworth, and she’s the most chill cat I’ve ever met. Cricket carries her around like a babydoll, and sometimes puts her in her backpack with the top unzipped so her head can stick out. She even lets Cricket put little clothes on her and just lays there, so long as you talk sweet to her. A job which I have had and, despite how silly it is, I enjoy very much.

I enjoy all of it, every fucking minute, so fucking much.

Life has been blissful and easy these last few weeks. Like we passed some threshold that brought us right to this deliriously happy moment, eating our waffle cones in our Sunday best beneath a canopy of fiery orange leaves. They’re scattered on the sidewalk of Main Street too, big as Cricket’s face, and I watch from the bench where I sit. Between licks, she steps on a new one very slowly, so the crunch of it crumbling lasts.

“Oh, that was a good one, bug,” Cass says, rising to join her from the bench where I sit. Cricket jumps to give her a high five.

Cass’s cheeks are high and pink, the freckles across them the same color as her eyelashes when she doesn’t have makeup on. Her fitted dress is a deep emerald green that matches her eyes, rich and decadent as her shining auburn hair. It’s nearly the same color as the leaves that occasionally rain down, floating like a dream around us.

It feels like a dream, all of this. The sight of her here is a dream of its own. But add it to the way she laughs with Cricket, like they’ve been best friends for always? The way she looks at me, like we never parted a day, like she’s always loved me?

No man should be this lucky. But if anyone ever was, thank God it’s me.

Cass and Cricket are still busy smashing leaves as we finish up our celebratory cones, but Cricket spikes hers into the trashcan before she’s through and bolts over to me, smiling. She’s lost another incisor, this one right below the other. It makes a gross little window for her to stick her tongue in, which she’s doing as she runs for me.

I catch her with an oof , her arms flung around my neck.

With her mouth close to my ear, she whispers, “Is it time yet, Daddy?”

“Almost,” I whisper back, kissing the side of her head before I let her go. But she runs over to Cass anyway and grabs her hand, tugging her.

“C’mon, Cassie! Finish your ice cream so we can go see Uncle Remy.”

I sigh and give Cricket a look, which she just grins at.

“Uncle Remy, huh?” Cass’s brows click together as she takes a bite of her cone and throws the rest away.

“Mmhmm, he’s at The Horseshoe.” Cricket marches away, pulling so hard, Cass stumbles a little in her heels, laughing. “He said I could come say hi after ice cream.”

Cass glances at me with a question, but I shrug like I have no idea what she’s talking about.

“Well, all right, bug. Gee, what’s the emergency?” We’re halfway to the door. My heart clangs louder with every step.

“Nothin’!”

“Is he giving you money? Candy? Fries?”

Cricket giggles. “Nope!” She lets Cass’s hand go to run to the door, standing in front of it with her face lit up. “Okay, ready?”

But Cass is still chuckling. “Ready for what, you goof?”

This time when Cricket giggles, it’s at me, and it’s nearly out of control, her face all pink from the secret.

“For this! ”

Cricket has to use all her weight to pull open the door, but when she does, Cass’s face softens, her lips parting and eyes wide as she drifts into the bar in a trance.

I wink at Cricket, and we share a little high five as we walk in behind her. When the door closes, it’s nearly dark, but Remy is there. He takes Cricket and hands something to me, jerking his chin toward Cass in a gesture that could only mean, Go get her.

So I do.

The only lights are the colored ones over the dance floor, spinning and swirling around. In the middle is a curtain with a Valentine’s set up that’s as close as I could get to the eighth grade dance photo backdrop. Over the speaker, the beginning of “Chasing Cars” plays. Cass turns around, laughing and half crying, her hand in front of her mouth. But before she says anything, her gaze lands on the carnation in my hand.

“Wanna go to the dance with me?” I ask, and she cracks up, the sound affected by a throat full of tears. She takes the flower, kisses me, but I end it swiftly, separating so I can take her hand. “Come on. Dance with me.”

Her head is on a swivel as she looks around, wonderstruck. I give her a spin, then pull her into my arms, our bodies flush as we sway. Her arms are around my neck, mine nestled in the small of her back, just like back then. Except back then, we had to have enough space between us to fit a Bible.

You couldn’t get even a page of separation this time.

“I can’t believe you did this,” she says, looking at me like I hung the moon.

I smirk at her. “Really? You really can’t believe I did this?”

“I mean, I can but… wow. ” She takes it all in again and meets my eyes. “This is the most thoughtful thing anybody’s ever done for me.”

I chuff. “I’m gonna remedy that oversight.”

She laughs, and I could live off the sound for a year. “So we’re back where it all began.”

I nod once. “The first time we ever slow danced was to this song. I’d never been this close to a girl before.”

“You have a twin sister.”

“Pfft. She’s not a girl- girl. You were this brilliant, beautiful, shiny thing, always smiling, always laughing. When I decided to send you that carnation and ask you to the dance, I remember thinking I’d never felt like that before. I wanted to know what you thought about everything, anything. I wanted to be with you every minute, talk to you all the time, make you laugh and know it was me who made you happy. I wanted to feel the warmth of your smile on me, because it felt like grace. Still does. And I still want all of that. In the ten years that I didn’t have you, I didn’t feel it once. And then you came back to town. Do you remember when I saw you from across Main?”

She nods, her throat working and chin wobbly. I don’t think she can speak, so I keep going.

“I felt it then, for the first time since we said goodbye, just the same as it ever was. One smile from thirty feet away, and I knew without a doubt that I was still in love with you. So today, I wanted to come back to the spot where I danced with you for the first time and knew I’d never love anybody but you. I even got to marry you, once upon a time.”

“Just for a night,” she manages through a sheet of tears.

“Just for one perfect night. I never thought we’d get here. I waited and hoped and wished, and somehow I got my wish. Everything I’ve ever wanted is right here. Almost.”

Her brow quirks in the pause.

“I got one of my girls back today.” I let her go to drop to one knee, reaching into my pocket for the velvet box with trembling hands. She’s full on crying, both hands over her nose and mouth, the carnation pressed into her hair. “Will you make it two?”

Her shoulders shake with a sob.

“Ten years ago, I knelt like this on a noisy sidewalk in Las Vegas, looking up at you with every hope and dream my heart could muster, knowing I couldn’t keep you. But this time, I’m on my knees with forever to offer. I want to marry you, Cassidy. In front of everybody we know and love, I want to swear to love you until I die. I want to promise you that forever. And then I want to spend the rest of my days delivering on that promise. Marry me. Again,” I tack on, and she laughs, though her face is still bent with emotion. But she’s nodding, and I’m standing, and she’s whispering yes with a shaking voice.

I swallow every yes with a kiss, my body too small to contain all I feel, love pouring from me into her. I’m so drunk on the feeling, I don’t find myself until I hear Cricket call for me and I pick her up. The ring is still in the open box, so I hand it to Cricket, who holds it reverently. And then I pluck out the ring and slip it on Cass’s finger next to the other.

They look like they’re meant to go together.

And when I hold Cass and Cricket in my arms, we fall into place like we always did. Like we always will.

Like we were always meant to.

Forever.