Page 11

CHAPTER 10

READY, SET, GO

WILDER

I follow her out of my room and into the living room. Patty cleaned up the ice cream, and the three of them are sitting on my couch.

Shock follows me like my shadow.

Cass pauses, waits for me to catch up, and steps into stride with me. We come to a stop before them.

I don’t know what to say, how to begin. I just stare at Cricket for a long moment before kneeling at her feet, overcome by the need to atone for my absence. But I had no choice. Not until today.

She’s hugging her pillow again. The laughing little girl in the kitchen is lost, and I realize it’s my job to find her again.

“Hey, Cricket,” I say as if no one else is in the room. “Cass and I talked?—”

“You were a little bit yelling,” she notes without judgment. “We couldn’t hear you though.”

“Well, we’ve had a big day of surprises. Good surprises, I think, just a lot. You might be the best of all.”

A spark of life flickers behind her eyes. “Really?”

“Really. I know things have been hard, Cricket. But I would love to get a chance to be your dad, if you want me to.”

Shyly, she nods, and the relief I feel is palpable.

“Alright. Then we were wondering if you…if you might want to go to school here? If your grandparents are okay with it, you could stay with them on the weekends.”

Patty seems relieved and sad, smiling down at Cricket. “Oh, me and Pawpaw would love that.”

Cricket considers for a second, her brows drawn together as she assesses me. “Will I have my own room?”

I nod. “I’ll get it ready for you before you get here in a couple of weeks.”

She chews on her lip. “What if I get scared? Or I…I don’t want to sleep alone once?”

My heart breaks at the thought. I wonder how often she’s slept with her grandparents since her mom died. “How about I make up a little bed for you in our room? If you get scared, you can come sleep with me and Cass.” I brush away the thrill that Cass is going to be in my bed nightly.

Cricket nods once, but still looks uncertain.

“We can get you registered at Roseville Elementary. Cass is one of the first grade teachers, so you won’t be alone.”

“Really?”

Cass smiles, pretending perfectly that she’s not even more shocked at our circumstance than I am. “Really. And I’ll have to check, but I’m almost positive you can be in my class, if you want to.”

At that, hope glimmers in her.

“And Cricket, I want you to know,” I start, “that if you change your mind, if you ever decide you don’t want to stay with me, you don’t have to. Okay?”

The corners of Cricket’s lips rise. “Okay.”

Cass extends her hand to Cricket. “Want to come pick your room?”

She slides off the couch and takes Cass’s hand with a nod, and they’re off in the direction of the bedrooms. When she pauses, unsure of herself as to which direction to go, I’m thankful I opted for the little Craftsman and not a big house in one of the planned communities outside of town. Otherwise I’d have to explain why my wife didn’t know her way around her own house.

Patty and Paul stand. For a few minutes, we chat. Thank each other a bunch, though I’m not exactly sure what for. I’m so fucking tired, I could drop on the spot.

When Cricket and Cass return, I’m grateful.

We say our goodbyes, watching as they get into Paul’s truck and drive away.

And then I close the door. Turn around.

Cass looks as exhausted as I feel, pretty as ever in that pink sundress. But she turns for the kitchen and starts talking before I can say anything.

“Okay,” she starts. “Okay. So, we need to get her room ready. She picked the one with all the workout shit in it.”

“Okay.”

She stops in the kitchen to assess the cabinets. When she picks one and opens it, she makes a triumphant sound, reaching for a glass and heading to the fridge.

“Can I help pick out the stuff for her room?” she asks.

I trace the valley of her pale back with my eyes, wishing I could swipe her ponytail over her shoulder so I can see her neck. “Of course.”

“Good.” When her glass is full, she brings it to her lips, hand on her hip as she turns to me.

I’m fucking mesmerized by the sight of her in my kitchen, doing something so mundane as drinking water.

She’s practically panting when she finally sets the half empty glass down on the island. “I’ll make a shared wish list, and you can get her whatever you want off it. Let’s see. We’ve got a week and a half. It’s Saturday, and school starts Wednesday after next. I’m slammed next week with meetings…what’s your work schedule?”

“I’m in Monday, Thursday, and Sunday, then next Wednesday.”

“Okay. If we can get everything here by Sunday, I can come over and put her room together while you’re at work.”

I frown. “You don’t want to…do some of that together?”

Instantly, I regret the assumption.

Her face flattens. “No, I don’t want to play house with you all week after you lied to me for a third of my life.”

I flinch from the sting. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Come on, let me get the engine belt and some tools, and we’ll get your truck fixed. Or I can take you home and go fix it for you. I’ll drop it off. You won’t even have to see me.”

“How are you going to get back to your truck from Mom’s?”

I shrug, already outside. “Walk.”

“Wilder, that’s a mile.”

“So? I run farther than that at least three times a week. I’ll cross it off my cardio for tomorrow. It’s no big deal.”

The sigh she sighs comes all the way from the sole of her shoes. “Why can’t you just be an asshole? This would be so much easier if you were an asshole.”

A chuckle puffs out of me as I enter the garage and make my way to the tool bench for my things. “You want me to be an asshole?”

“No. Kind of.”

I pause. Turn. Pin her with my gaze. “You have every right to be mad?—”

“I don’t need your permission.”

“No, you don’t. I’m just saying, I know I fucked up.”

She glares at me. “A lizard would know it fucked up, Wilder. Who else knows that we’re married?”

“No one.”

She blinks. “Your dad?”

I shake my head.

“Your sister? Remy?”

“Nobody knows, Cass.”

She softens, but just a hair. “Well, I guess they’re about to. Do we tell them we’ve been married for ten years or that we ran off?”

“May as well stick with the truth. Plus, it’s public record.”

“So I could have Googled it? Assuming I knew, I guess.” She shakes her head and doesn’t wait for me to answer. “We need a cover story—if the whole town knows we’re faking it and the Wilsons find out, they won’t let you have Cricket. So we need to figure out how we’re going to play this. I think we should tell the inner circle the truth though.”

“Better dig up your wedding ring. The real one.”

“I don’t have the other one anymore,” she says simply. “I left it on his dresser.”

The knowledge both pleases me and breaks my heart.

She continues, “We could always tell people we’ve been seeing each other since after the wedding. Rekindled the old flame. Realized the paperwork hadn’t gone through and we were still married. And when you found out about Cricket, we decided to move in together so I could help with her. It’s mostly true, at least. I only look a little bit like a flighty mess.”

The way she says it, I can tell she’s ashamed and that her assumptions are probably true. I fucking hate it. But there’s no way to feel better except to make a joke.

“Hey, I dunno—I’m kind of a big deal around here.”

She laughs, rolling her eyes.

“Seriously. I’m a catch. They might even throw you a parade for locking me down.”

Cass moves on, but she’s still smiling. “I’ll move my stuff in Sunday and sleep here for the first time on Tuesday when Cricket gets here.”

Cricket. My daughter.

I have a daughter.

I reel again, dizzy from the weight of it. Not ready to face it fully, only in sips.

You’re not alone.

Whatever she sees on my face softens her.

“Thank you,” I say quietly. “For all of this. I…I don’t know what I’m doing, Cass.”

“I know. Neither do I, other than making bad decisions. Which, I should note, is not the kind of bad decision I’d planned to make with you.”

Just like that, I’m on fire.

Her eyes narrow. “I would like to state again, for the record, that we are not together. We’re going to have to hold hands. Sell it. Cohabitate. Sleep in the same bed. But it’s not real. Got it?”

I don’t know if she’s trying to convince me or herself. “Yes, ma’am.”

On an exhale, her shoulders relax almost completely. She nods, then turns, her ponytail swinging as she walks out of my garage. I hear the truck door shut as I finish getting together what I need to fix her engine. I decide then that I’ll take her home. Fix her truck, deliver it to her, and hopefully have enough left in me to drag myself home so I can sleep for two days.

She needs a break, some space, some time.

And I’ll give it to her gladly in the hopes she’ll forgive me.