Page 16 of Hot Ice, Tennessee (Hard Spot Saloon #2)

16

JESSE

“Wait a minute. You guys are fucking, aren’t you?”

I coughed on my sip of beer. I turned to Mason, who was sitting in the bar stool next to mine with his cheeks rapidly turning beet red. We’d only been sitting in the Hard Spot for five minutes, and I was just starting to get comfortable on the bar stools with the ambient sound of the bar music and chatter all around us.

“You’re imagining things again,” Mason told Max, who was leaning over the bar, smiling at us. “Did the ghost cat tell you that or something?”

“No,” Max said, looking between the two of us. “I just know it. I should have known it earlier. You are boning each other like fucking bunnies.”

“Shh,” Mason said, glancing around.

Kane was far away, over by one of the tables talking to a different group of people.

“Wow. Hundreds of TNU students are jealous of you right now, Mason,” Max said. He reached over and smacked me on the shoulder. “Do you know how many people want this big hunk of meat?”

Only twenty minutes ago, I hadn’t even been sure that Mason would say yes to a date at all. For the past ten days, I went between wanting to punch a hole in a wall and wanting to call him and ask him to date me, about five times each day.

But I forced myself to give it time. To let both of us remember what the world was like if we weren’t tangled up in each other’s lives.

And you know what?

I didn’t fuckin’ like it.

When I woke up this morning after what felt like the millionth dream where Mason was with me in bed, I knew I wanted to be tangled up in whatever the fuck was going on in his world. Driving over to his house was my last-ditch shot at pulling him out of a fog, like the one he’d pulled me out of on the night we met. I didn’t know if it would work. Didn’t even know if it was a good idea.

But when I finally just let myself trust—let myself go over and do what I trusted was right—everything slid together, like a puzzle finally forming an image.

“What makes you think we’re fucking?” I asked Max.

I ran a finger through the fine condensation on the outside of my beer, feeling like a teenager who’d just been caught red-handed.

“Honestly? Because Mason didn’t come in here and immediately start looking around and asking me if any potentially gay guys are in here tonight.”

Mason ran a hand over his forehead. “You make it sound like I’m a total slut.”

“Tonight it didn’t seem like you cared about looking at anyone other than Jesse,” Max said.

“Forget about the ghost cat who somehow makes people fall in love,” I said. “I think you’re the Cupid of this bar, Max.”

“I just call things as I see them.”

“And?”

“And you two have been looking at each other like you want to rip each other’s clothes off since the second you walked in.”

“Hey. Just because we’re… enjoying each other’s company doesn’t mean everyone has to know about it yet,” I said, giving Max a look and then nodding my head over toward Kane.

“Oh,” Max said, as it dawned on him. “Oh, fuck. Kane’s going to murder you, Mason.”

“I know. I’m a dead man,” Mason said.

He looked so adorably nervous that I wished I could lean over and cover him in kisses right then.

He was bringing out that romantic streak in me again, the one I hadn’t even known existed. If you’d asked me a few months ago what I wanted in a man, I’d have told you that a good hard fuck was all the romance I needed… and I still loved a good hard fuck, but Mason made me feel like the little heart-eyes emoji every ten seconds, too.

I glanced back at Kane, making sure he was still looking the other way. I reached out into the open front of Mason’s flannel to the shirt underneath, and I rubbed the small of his back. The feeling of warmth beneath his shirt was like its own little drug.

I pulled my hand away and took a deep breath, trying to assess the way forward like it was a complicated play in hockey.

“Kane would not murder you,” I said softly. “But we need to give it some time. Maybe get him used to the idea that we’re friends first, you know?”

“Is that what friends do, these days?” Max teased. “Look at each other like they want to suck face, ream each other’s asses, and then ride off together into the sunset?”

Mason looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground.

Adorable, again, but I was starting to feel bad for the poor man.

“Max, there’s a group of girls over there who have been waiting to get served for a minute now,” I said. “Kane’s going to ream your ass if you don’t go do your job.”

“Oh God, you’re right,” Max said, turning and walking toward the women. “Welcome in! What can I get started for you?”

“I know you want to get up and run out of this bar right now,” I told Mason, “but that’s not what we’re going to do. Okay?”

“That is exactly what I want to do. This drink is helping, though.”

I wanted to kiss him so badly. Truthfully I also wanted to drive right back to his house and spend the rest of the evening in bed with him, but I wasn’t going to let another repeat of last time happen.

I didn’t want a secret life with Mason.

I wanted us to be able to do this . To go anywhere with each other, to raise a middle finger to anyone who tried to tell us we shouldn’t be around each other.

But the moment Kane walked back over and stepped behind the bar, I found myself sitting up a little straighter, too, trying to put on an innocent little act for him.

“Hey, J,” Kane said, reaching out for a fist bump. “Hot Mess, no keg stands or table stands or whatever the hell they are tonight. Just got the tables resealed and I don’t need you slipping and falling on your ass.”

“No keg stands planned for tonight, don’t worry,” Mason said.

“Game went well yesterday?” Kane asked me, loading pint glasses into a tray to be cleaned off.

I groaned. “The game went well, but I almost got in a fight.”

“Wait, you didn’t mention that,” Mason said gently.

“Jesse never talks about fights he has on the ice,” Kane explained. “Don’t be surprised.”

Well, I’d tell Mason anything, though.

In fact, the only person I’d wanted to talk to after yesterday’s game was Mason. It was part of what pushed me to finally go see him today.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” I said. “But Elliot was up in my grill about me stealing a hat trick from him, which is bullshit. He couldn’t have gotten a hat trick.”

“What’s a hat trick?” Mason asked.

“You don’t know what a hat trick is?” Kane said.

“Sounds like something a magician might do.”

I smiled and suppressed an urge to kiss him. “If someone scores three points in a game, that’s a hat trick. Everyone in the audience tosses their hats onto the ice, people go nuts, it’s a lot of fun.”

“And Elliot thought you prevented him from getting one?”

I nodded. “He got the first two shots, and he says I gave him a bad pass and cost him the third. But if I didn’t move, he would have given up the puck to the other team, and I wasn’t about to let that happen.”

“Prick,” Kane muttered.

“Tell me about it. He’s pissed at me. What else is new?”

“Jesse’s like a fucking bloodhound on the ice,” Mason was saying, shaking his head. “Forget the Plow , he’s like a tsunami.”

“Did you show him a clip, J?”

Mason shifted on his seat. “Um, well, no. I went to check out one of the games, actually.”

My heart.

Mason was trying, for me.

Actually trying to make it seem like we were at least friendly with one another. And that was the sweetest thing I could imagine, right now.

Kane set down the pint glass he was holding and draped his rag over his shoulder. “ You went to a hockey game?”

I could tell Mason was squirming.

He’d let something slip, and now he was completely convinced Kane was going to find out the truth. If I was like a bloodhound on the ice, Kane was like a bloodhound for bullshit—he could spot it from a mile away.

“I do all sorts of things,” Mason protested.

Just tell him.

Can we just tell him, pretty please?

I felt like there was a little war inside of me, brewing fast.

“You don’t usually do things that involve you sitting still in a seat for a couple of hours,” Kane said. “I’m impressed, Mason.”

“I didn’t exactly sit still. I stood up and cheered for Jesse, even when I didn’t know what he was doing. I think I cheered once accidentally when the only thing that happened was a ref blowing a whistle.”

As they chatted, my leg was bouncing like a pogo stick on the ledge under the bar.

I felt like I was two seconds away from blurting out the truth: I want him, and I don’t give a fuck if you’re going to judge us for it.

But I was like a muzzled tiger. It had been my own idea to slowly get my brother used to the idea of us hanging out, but even when Mason mentioned attending a hockey game, it felt like watching a ticking time bomb.

“What did you get up to today?” Kane asked him.

“Not much. Drove back from Atlanta. Rode Maisie around the long path a few times. Showered and headed here.”

I didn’t know what felt worse: the idea of Kane finding out or the idea of him not finding out.

All I knew was that this conversation was hard to take. All casual, calm, and surface-level, making me feel like I was yet again holding in a lie.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, and I stood up too quickly. “Just… want a little air.”

The bar stool made a bad sound on the floor as I moved it, and I gave Mason a sympathetic look before heading out front.

I leaned against the brick exterior of the building. The last time I’d been leaning on the front wall of the Hard Spot like this, I’d been drunk, and unknowingly only a few minutes away from bringing Mason home.

Today was different.

The air was still hot and buzzing outside. The sun was only now starting to set, and it likely wasn’t the kind of day where the summer heat was going to relent much at night.

And the people of Bestens were out in droves, roaming around Laurel Ave and Second Street, the intersection a hub of activity. The air smelled like beer, barbecue, and freshly planted tulips. I looked out past the Hard Spot lot, watching the people go by, laughing and talking and generally doing a whole lot better than I was right now.

Two guys walked out of the Red Fox Diner across the street. I didn’t pay much attention to them until I heard a familiar bellowing laugh carry across the air, and my stomach went sour.

Elliot .

Since fucking when did he bring his friends to hang out here?

I thought I was going to be able to get back inside before he noticed me, but my movement caught his eye. As he crossed the street I weighed two options in my mind: I could go inside, then risk dragging his ass right into my brother’s bar. I didn’t want Kane to have to deal with his bullshit, but I also really didn’t want Mason to get caught up in it, either.

But my only other option was to stay out here and field him myself.

“Fuck are you doing here?” he asked as he crossed the street.

“Enjoying my evening,” I said, “until now, that is.”

“Sanocki, always acting like you’re better than everybody else,” Elliot said. “Hat trick fucking evaporated into the air, because of you.”

“Can you quit talking about the hat trick?”

The guy who was with Elliot hadn’t followed him across the street. He was patiently waiting, sitting down on the ledge of the fountain over by the other side of the road. I didn’t know him, and he looked young, like he might still be a freshman or sophomore.

Elliot was still up in my grill, coming at me like he was looking to finish the fight we never had out on the ice. He turned around, looking to make sure no one was in earshot, then leaned closer to me.

“Not going to forget it, Jesse,” he said. “You’re all fuckin’ jealous still because I picked her instead of you. Get over it.”

I puffed out a bitter laugh, recoiling from him as he stepped forward. “Jealous sure as hell isn’t the word, Elliot.”

“Then what?”

“Relieved,” I said. “I dodged a fucking bullet. Every minute I spent with you was a waste of time.”

“ Elliot ,” his buddy called over from across the street. He didn’t look back.

“Liar.”

“Trust me,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I can’t wait until this year is over and I never have to look at you again.”

A raw anger flashed through his eyes. His friend was still watching him, and in a moment he broke out into a jog, coming over and grabbing Elliot by the arm.

“Come on,” the guy said. “Setting up the tent is going to take a while, I think we should get on the road.”

My eyes went wide.

Setting up the tent.

Setting up the tent?

My gaze landed on the young guy, on the way he was looking at Elliot, with a slightly shy impatience in his expression.

At the way he was tugging on his arm.

When I looked back at Elliot, he had a look of fury in his eyes.

“Don’t fucking say shit, Sanocki.”

“Holy shit,” I said breathlessly, shaking my head. “You’re taking him out on a camping trip.”

“Shut your mouth—”

“You’re fucking another guy, now, too?”

The words spilled out of my mouth before I could give a damn what Elliot might think. The younger guy looked between me and Elliot with confusion in his eyes.

It was plain to see. This guy was Elliot’s new secret, and he was too innocent to realize that he was being used.

Just like I had been.

“Ignore what this guy is saying,” Elliot told his new guy. “He’s on my hockey team, and he’s fucking crazy.”

I looked at the guy, point blank. “He is using you,” I said. “Just know that. A woman is pregnant with his child— ”

“Absolutely crazy,” Elliot said, grabbing the guy and walking off with him down the street.

I shook my head, watching as they walked off.

And no matter how pissed I was at Elliot, the only true emotion I felt was sorrow. I felt sorry for that other guy. Sorry for anyone who would get caught in the toxic trap I’d been in.

And sorry that I’d wasted my time with him.

The front door of the Hard Spot swung open a moment later, and Mason found me as I leaned back again on the cool brick of the building.

A sight for fuckin’ sore eyes.

My head was spinning as Mason came up beside me. He leaned on the wall, too, looking out at the street the same way I was, his gaze dancing over the trees that were lit by twinkly lights strung throughout the branches.

My heart pounded like a drum. There was so much I wanted to say to Mason, but I hesitated, knowing that my words might come out like a demand. I didn’t want to pressure him.

All I wanted was to live in truth .

To feel free.

To actually know what it was like to date somebody and not have it be a secret.

“You, uh, doing okay?” Mason asked gingerly. “I don’t know why I’m asking, because I’m pretty sure you’re not , but I’m really worried I said something wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Of course not, Mason.”

I let out a long breath and then turned toward him. I reached out, just barely brushing the back of my hand against the side of his jaw.

“Didn’t seem like you enjoyed trying to act like we were just friends in front of Kane,” he said. His blue eyes had never looked more raw and soulful, and it felt like it was cracking my heart into pieces.

“It’s okay. It’s my fault. A few minutes into my own little plan and I wanted to crawl out of my skin. But… I can handle it.”

Mason caught my gaze for a moment, the glow of a street lamp reflecting in his eyes. “Then let’s tell him.”

God, you are too good to me .

I shook my head. “I know that’s not the right idea.”

“Or maybe it is,” he said. “If Kane wants to disown me as a friend, let him go right ahead. But I don’t think he’s ever going to stop talking to you again.”

I set my jaw. “I don’t know if that’s true.”

A buzz of fear set through my whole body.

Seeing Elliot around here again only reminded me of how much I’d hated not being able to talk to Kane for the past two years.

Kane shouldn’t have cut me off.

But now, I at least understood why he did. I was as lost and foolish as Elliot’s new guy was. I should have trusted Kane.

And instead, I’d lost two years to my own naive decisions.

Mason lifted an eyebrow. “I’m never going to make you live a lie. And I’m certainly never going to take you away from your studies. Fuck, if anything, I’ll be pissed if you ever prioritize me over your school.”

I puffed out a feeble laugh.

Fuck, Mason was already better to me than Elliot ever was, and he wasn’t even my boyfriend.

I sighed, looking up at the evening sky. “Sometimes I really do think it would be easier for me to go full lone wolf again. Cut everybody else out, only visit you, and raise my middle finger to the rest of the world and their endless opinions.”

Mason hummed, reaching out and squeezing my forearm. “I don’t think you really want that.”

I grumbled. “No. I guess I don’t.”

“Do you want to tell your brother?” Mason asked, point blank. “If there were no other considerations to worry about, would you want him to know?”

“Yes,” I said. “A million times, yes.”

“Then let’s tell him.”

“You sure about that?”

“Let him judge me. He’s not unreasonable. He’s just… unafraid to express his opinions, and can be headstrong. Does that remind you of anyone else you know?”

I reached out to give Mason a quick tap on the shoulder. “You.”

“I was going to say you ,” he protested.

“Fuck off.”

“I’m going to tell him tonight,” Mason said. “End of his shift. He always has a wheat beer and half of a chicken sandwich right before he counts the registers at the end of the night, and I swear that’s when he’s happiest. So I’m going to do it then.”

I grabbed Mason’s arm and gently pulled him in toward me. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his hair. He kissed me again, this time with an urgency behind it. I knew Kane was busy behind the bar inside, but it still felt like I was breaking a rule to stand out here kissing Mason deeply, knowing there was at least a possibility of being seen.

But when my lips were on his, all other logic seemed to float away.

I pulled him in as close as I could, letting my tongue slide out against his.

When I saw someone walking up to the front of the building, a cold flash went through me. I only saw him come out from my peripheral vision.

Wait.

That’s not—

The moment I turned, Elliot was there again.

He was already rearing up, ready to punch.

It was only a moment before pain hit my jaw like a thunderclap, and everything flashed red and then black.

I went to the ground, knocking the back of my head against a wooden leg of the nearby bench. Vaguely, I was aware that a couple of other people further down the street had gasped, watching it happen from afar.

“What the fuck? ” Mason hissed. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Babe,” I murmured in my dazed state, knowing that I was going out cold, and I’d be unconscious in less than a few seconds. “It’s okay. S’just Elliot.”