Page 9 of Honor and Claim (A New Reign #2)

Chapter Nine

COSIMA

W hat the heck is taking her so long? It can’t be that hard to buy a pregnancy test. Then again, this is Marks we are talking about.

The girl is either all-in or all over the place.

I never know what I’m going to get with her.

But I’m not one to talk; my moods and emotions change in seconds.

If I’m pregnant, I bet I’ll be worse. That should be fun for everyone else.

My hand goes to my stomach. I can’t help but smile.

As much as I want to be with Z, if we never are, at least I have this part of us.

A little piece of him. Even if Z regrets it, I’ll cherish that moment in time.

Not that I’m still not pissed at him. I am, but I will always love him.

He’s been a part of my life from the start.

It’s hard to imagine my life without him.

What if in time he starts to date someone seriously?

Would he bring her home? I would have to see this person on holidays and at every other important event in our family.

That sounds like torture. I can’t help all the directions my thoughts are going in as I wait what feels like an eternity for Marks.

I don’t know anything about my brothers’ or Z’s dating life or, I suppose, fucking life. That’s what the men in our world do. They have mistresses and go to high-end brothels or sex clubs. I have more than once wondered if Z took part in that lifestyle.

No one ever brings people home. You wouldn’t dare unless it was serious. Hence why I knew nothing of that part of their lives. At one point I thought War might be asexual. I have no idea what Ronan's sexual orientation is. That man is tough to read.

As for Z, I could picture him as a dater, I think.

I don't want to. Out of everyone, he can be the most social. He has personality, and he’s funny.

He has a way of calming a room and easing the tension.

A few times I thought it was an act, that I'd catch this expression on his face, but who knows?

I thought I knew Z, but maybe I don't know him at all.

"Buonasera," an old woman says in passing.

“Buonasera,” I respond with a smile, leaning back on the wooden bench that is starting to hurt my ass.

Everyone is friendly here, saying hello and smiling as they pass. Marks isn't a fan. She's suspicious of everyone. She has major paranoia.

If I had to guess from the bits and pieces I've put together, she gets it from her father. Even around the topic of him, she's tight-lipped, and I don't know if it's because she doesn't want to talk about him or if she does it on his behalf.

My phone goes off from inside my purse. I’m guessing it’s Marks being overwhelmed by all the pregnancy tests, but it’s not.

I see it’s a call from my mom. I answer.

Her and my father's faces pop up together when I do.

I can tell from the background they're back home but in their place in the city.

Since my brother War has taken over more of the family business responsibilities, they have been traveling more, and often came and stayed for brief stints near my school when I was abroad.

“Hey,” I say. Mom gives me a warm smile. Dad’s face is always stoic; even when he chuckles, it remains that way.

"Hi, sweetheart," Mom says. "How is Valle di Luminara?"

"It's beautiful here."

"It is one of my favorites," Mom agrees.

"We have friends there this week," Dad chimes in. "The Amato family." I try to place the name. I know I've heard it before, but I swear my dad knows everyone.

"Yeah, half the houses here, they say, are vacation homes."

"You should go say hello to the Amatos. Take them a gift." Oh, man.

"Dad." His name comes out whiny, and I know it.

"Basta.” There is a soft warning in his tone that has me checking my own. My father didn't rule with an iron fist, with me at least. I can't say the same for my brothers, but I do have a ton of respect for him, and if he warns me to cut the crap, I do.

"I don't know them; it will be weird."

"It would be inappropriate for you to not greet them."

"Okay," I relent, knowing this isn't a suggestion.

"You know their son Salvatore. He's single."

"Mom, no." I shake my head. "Tell her, Dad." My parents told me not to consider dating until I finished school, not that I ever tried.

I haven't finished school, but I'm in no rush to return. Not sure I'll be welcomed if I do. It might be college, but it's a Catholic one. No way I can walk around with a baby bump and have no husband. Oh, sure, I could. They wouldn’t tell my father or War no, but the judgment would be harsh.

Shit, why hadn't I thought about what my parents are going to think if I am pregnant? If they found out it was Z who got me pregnant. Double shit.

“I have been getting many requests, Cosima,” Dad starts.

“I thought?—”

“I'm not making you do anything.” Except go visit the Amato family. Once my mom said the son's name, it clicked in my mind who they were. They’d been at my brother’s wedding.

If I recall, Z and I had gotten in a fight about their son.

That had slipped my mind, but I did have a few too many champagnes that night, and I might have been flirting with a few people to see if I could get a reaction out of Z.

I had, but at the time, I wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or him being protective.

I know on my part it had meant nothing, but I was also doing it so that Z’s attention would be on me either way. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that many women at the wedding too had their eyes on Z. So I kept him busy so he wouldn't notice, but I don’t think the man misses much.

"You're not interested to see who is asking?"

No, but I am interested in pissing Z off.

It's a terrible thought, but I'm feeling rather petty at the moment.

I could also use an ego stroke after he took my virginity and then bounced without a word, and I'm not counting that bullshit note. A note I have tucked into my purse to pull out whenever I start to soften to thoughts of Z. Who has now stopped trying to call or text. Another thing to add to my list of shit he’s done or is actively doing to piss me off.

"Maybe," I shrug. "What's going on back home?" I change the subject.

"We have dinner plans tonight with War and Tova."

"Cool." I pause, hoping they'll give more. "What about everyone else?" I ask, growing impatient, which is a major problem of mine. I'm sure that links to my poor impulse control.

“Ronan is Ronan, and I haven’t heard from Z.” Mom tilts her head like she’s thinking. “Have you?”

“No, but he’s been busy,” Dad responds. It takes everything in me not to ask with what. I really try to keep it in, but I know it’s only a matter of time before it comes out.

“With what?” I blurt out. Gah, yeah, no control.

“Personal stuff.”

“Personal?” I repeat back. What the hell does that mean?

Aren't we his family, so we’re the personal things in his life.

Unless he has a secret life we don’t know about.

Which is possible. I try not to let my thoughts go down that path, but it’s impossible.

What if he has someone special in his life?

Tears sting my eyes, but I keep a smile on my face because my parents can see me.

“Z often drops off. We can reach him if need be, but I’m pretty sure he has a double life.” Mom laughs. I don’t find it funny.

“Does he really?” I didn’t know that, but then again, I haven’t been back in the States for long stretches, and when I was, things were always going on, and everyone was there.

I assumed he was in the city while I was gone. I hadn’t thought about him being elsewhere and me not knowing about it. But bet your ass he always knows where I am. Tracks my every damn move while he’s out there doing whatever the hell he does. Such bullshit.

“Yes.” Mom shakes her head. “Maybe your father should see about marrying him off next.”

Right, well. I’m done with this conversation. I thought seeing and talking to my parents would make me feel better, but through no fault of theirs, I feel even worse. I’m either going to burst into tears or scream, which will give me away.

“My phone doesn’t have much battery left.” It’s the quickest way to get off the phone.

“Cosima, don’t leave the house without a full charge,” Dad scolds me.

“Sorry, I know.” I shake my head, pretending to be annoyed with myself. “But I’m going to get off and head back there now.”

We say our I love yous and goodbyes before I end the call. I spot Marks finally coming out of the store with empty hands.

“What the hell?” I ask, dropping my phone back into my purse.

“Shh,” she hushes me, walking right past me too. Okay, then. “You’re supposed to follow me,” Marks half-shouts over her shoulder.

“Right.” I rush to catch up with her. “What’s happening? Were they out of stock?”

“No, I got it.” Marks glances around before lifting the front of her shirt to reveal a pregnancy test stuffed into her pants. She's speed-walking up the hill that leads back to our villa.

“You stole it?”

“I didn’t steal it.” It certainly appears that way. “Okay, I kind of stole it.”

“Speed-walking makes you appear guilty,” I point out, making her slow her steps. Marks is used to doing most of her crimes behind a computer screen, clearly. As for me, I might have had a rebellious phase and stolen random things when I was a kid. I got in so much trouble when I was caught.

That led to my brother Ronan teaching me how to do it better. I’d only been ten at the time, but it’s those childhood, soul-bonding moments you remember tenderly.

"Is that what took you so long?" I ask when we're halfway up the hill.

"Do you always wear heels?" Marks asks, glancing down at my feet. "How do you not trip on these cobblestone roads?"

"I can do anything in heels." To prove it, I lift on my foot like a ballerina and do a spin.

"And you think you don't have any skill set. I would have rolled down this hill." I laugh, but it's not a skill set that matters. Except for me to appear pretty, and I'm starting to think that's all people see me as. I can't even give myself credit for that. I get it all from my mom.

"If you didn't steal the test, why is it in your pants?" If she wanted to be discreet, they would have put it in a bag for her.

"I like this town. I didn't want to steal it. So I bought an item that cost more, then I put it back and stole the test, but it's not stealing because I paid. Now no one thinks you're a whore or I'm cheating."

"You're a sweetheart, you know that?" I bump her shoulder with mine.

"I am not," Marks huffs. She can deny it all she wants, but her rambling the last part about cheating and being a whore was to mask the good thing she'd done.

I glance behind us and spot the man that lives around the corner slowly coming up the hill. I make a mental note. Every time we’ve left the villa to go into town, I have seen him.

It’s a small town, and it could be nothing—or they could be watching us. The thing is, I’m not sure if it’s me they are watching or Marks.

"You better have to pee," Marks says as I enter the code to get into our gate before pulling out my key for the door. We both wave over at Karen, who is tending to the flowers that hang from her window sills.

"I don't have to pee," I tell her. Marks rolls her eyes.

"You're taking the freaking test." We enter the house together, both freezing when we spot someone sitting in the living room. Not just anyone. It's Z, and he appears pissed. That makes two of us.

Thank all the gods that Marks still has the test shoved down her pants. I can only deal with one thing at a time.