Page 57 of Home Town Advantage (Fourth Quarter Fever #1)

TWENTY-SEVEN

SULLEY

I ’m finding it hard to breathe. My head starts spinning after everything I’ve heard today. I stand and mutter, “I’m sorry, I need to leave.”

Turning around, I run out the front door, gulping down the fresh air as soon as I do. I place my hands on my knees. The world feels off its axis right now. Up is down. Left is right. Nothing makes sense. Everything is blurry.

Suddenly, Vance’s hand is on my back. “Are you okay?”

I shake my head. “No, I’m not. Take me somewhere. Anywhere but here.”

He helps me into his old truck, and we take off. All I can think of is that if Maddie hadn’t gotten knocked up by a stranger, my brother wouldn’t have extended his tour, and he would still be alive. I’ve never hated her more than I do right now.

I’m so consumed with my hatred for her that it feels like only a few seconds later that we’re pulling into my family’s driveway.

After helping me out of the car, he takes my hand and pulls me toward the backyard. I’m on autopilot, trusting him to guide my body. Before I know it, we’re climbing the ladder into my treehouse.

A sense of calm washes over me as I ascend into it. I take in the familiar scent. It’s the fall trees, the aged wood of the treehouse, and the mustiness of the blankets that have been out here a little too long. It’s home.

We sit, positioned just as we were the night of Finn’s funeral. Facing each other with bent knees and toes touching.

“What’s going through your mind, Gully Sulley?”

I take a few long, deep breaths. “I don’t think I appreciated the depths you were willing to go to in order to honor Finn’s last wishes.” I look him in the eyes. “Is that what we are, Vance? Another obligation you feel to my brother?”

He reaches for my hand just like he did that night, intertwining his fingers through mine. It was the first intimate touch we ever shared, and I never forgot it.

“You know we’re so much more than that.” He pauses briefly as a small smile finds his face.

“I remember reaching for your hand the last time we were in here. So many years ago. It’s hard to believe that much time has passed.

It was the moment I realized there was something more between us.

It freaked me out a little. I didn’t want to feel that way about you. I kind of felt like a perv.”

I sigh. “Maybe we’re just old friends who went through the same horrible event, clinging to each other as a safety net. A comfort.”

He shakes his head. “We’re so much more than childhood friends with a shared trauma. We both know that.”

Tears freefall from my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs. “For some reason, it felt like a betrayal. I wanted to. I planned to. Eventually.”

I whisper-cry, “I can’t believe he knew. Is this why you didn’t push for custody and take her to court?”

He nods. “Yes. All she ever had to do was demand a paternity test, and then I’d be erased from Francesca’s life.

I don’t know who her biological father is.

Trust me, I searched, but Finn was prepared to raise her as his own, so I was too.

Maddie takes my checks and shuts me out. She’s got me by the balls.”

I breathe heavily, gasping for air. “I don’t want that for you. It’s not right. She needs to give you something.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “God, I hate her so much right now,” I cry. “He’d be alive if it wasn’t for her.”

He nods as pain stretches over his face.

“I know. It’s hard not to hate her. I try not to because she’s Francesca’s mother, but I fail every single day.

I get physically sick at the sight of her and the sound of her voice.

I’m sorry you have to relive this nightmare.

I’ve been trying my best to avoid that for you. ”

Tears stream down my cheeks like a faucet. “You’re not the one who should be sorry. If it’s permission you’re seeking to cut her off, or at least threaten it, you certainly have it from me.”

He shakes his head. “I won’t do that. Ever. It would only hurt Francesca. You think Finn would want that?”

Vance is such a good man. I’ve spent all these years thinking just the opposite. This is such a mindfuck.

Tears begin spilling from his eyes, and his shoulders shake. I can’t help but move closer so I can hold him.

I’ve been so caught up in my own feelings over what’s happened today that I haven’t taken the time to consider his. How this lie has negatively impacted his entire life.

He struggles with his words as he whisper-croaks, “I should have paid for everything. If I did, he’d still be here. He’d be alive today.”

And then he starts sobbing. Sobbing in a way I’ve never seen from him, not even that day at the construction site.

I hold him close to me, pulling his head to my chest. “Let it all out.”

I give him the time he needs to cry for everything that has gone on and how it’s impacted him. I think it’s seven years of emotions finally pouring out of him. He needs this.

Once he begins to calm down, he looks up at me with embarrassment written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”

“It came from years and years of carrying this burden, a burden that wasn’t really yours to bear. I know my brother. He wouldn’t have wanted you to suffer like you have. And I know for a fact he wouldn’t have accepted a dime from you. Ever.”

“I wish I had tried harder.” He takes a few deep, calming breaths, “Fuck, it feels good to get all this off my chest. I’m not sure I realized how much I needed to.”

I lean over and softly kiss his lips. “I’m glad you did.” I continue to hold him, running my hands up and down his body in a soothing manner. “What now? With Maddie.”

He sighs. “I’m not sure. She’s so difficult.

I need to do what’s best for Francesca. But I have no idea what that is.

The team gave me emergency family leave.

I’m going to stay for another day or two.

We can’t remain in this antagonistic state.

I want to figure something out with her.

I’ve been trying for a long time, but Maddie isn’t easy.

It’s always been her way or the highway. ”

I squeeze his hand. “I understand that you need this time with them. I’m going to head back to Philly. I need to get out of here. Clear my head. Plus, I have a few team obligations I can’t get out of.”

His eyes study my face. “What about us? Where are we?”

I lick my lips nervously. “Can you give me a minute to take this all in? I spent more than six years hating you, and the past ten months hating myself for feeling the way I do about you. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, history has been rewritten. I need time to process it all.”

His shoulders fall. He’s disappointed, but my brain is too foggy to make any decisions about my future right now.

I rest my head on his shoulder. “Can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

“Why were none of you surprised to see MeeMaw watching porn? Hardcore porn. ”

I can feel him shaking again, but in laughter this time. “She has a bit of an…addiction. It’s an expensive addiction.”

“Expensive? There’s so much free porn out there.”

He sighs. “I’ve tried to explain that to her, but she insists there are advantages to paid porn.”

I giggle. “You’ve had porn conversations with your grandmother.”

He lets out a laugh. “Yep. My poor mother. She deals with it all the time.”

VANCE

Sulley left. I have no idea where we stand. She said to reach out when I get back so we can talk more. I miss her already, but right now my head is spinning over how to handle things with Maddie now that everything is out in the open.

It’s very early in the morning, and the door to my bedroom opens. My mother pokes her head in and whispers, “You up?”

I whisper back, “Yes.”

She smiles and walks in wearing her pink robe with two mugs of coffee in hand.

I have flashes of my youth. I was always an early riser.

My father wakes up super early to deal with the ranch and his employees.

He would wake her on his way out. She and I would then sit and drink our morning coffee together and talk until it was time for me to go to school.

It’s always been our special time together.

Mom is still a beautiful woman. We share our hair and eye color. She’s aged a bit in the past few years, likely thanks to me, but she’s effortlessly beautiful, inside and out.

I sit up in my bed and accept the coffee, black, just like she knows I like it. “Thank you.”

She nods and sits on the end of the bed, giving me a small smile. “I can’t believe you’ve been seeing little Sulley O’Shea all this time.”

I raise an eyebrow. “She’s not so little anymore.”

Her smile widens. “I know.” She clutches her chest. “And you’re in love with her.” It’s said as a statement, not a question.

I nod. “Very much.”

“How does she feel? I know she had a giant crush on you as a little girl.”

I run my fingers through my hair. “Am I the only one who didn’t realize that?”

She giggles. “She was so young. Why would you have noticed? You certainly never lacked for female attention.”

I roll my eyes, and her laughter deepens.

“I think she loves me, but she’s never uttered the words to me.

She’s been fighting her feelings for obvious reasons, but I believe they’re there.

There’s something…magical that happens when we’re together.

I can’t explain it. I breathe better when she’s around me.

She’s a natural extension of me. She feels as much a part of my body as my legs and arms.”

Tears fill her eyes, and she reaches over to squeeze my hand. “Oh, Vance, I’m not sure I ever saw you as romantic, but wow. That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. You deserve all the happiness in the world. You’ve more than earned it.”

“Yesterday was intense. Sulley is still absorbing it all.”