Page 35 of Home This Christmas

THIRTY

I wake with a dry mouth, as a shaft of daylight pours through a gap in the curtains.

There is a heavy chenille throw over my body, and a glass of water on a table beside me. Good heavens, what time is it? Surely, I haven’t slept on this sofa all night?

I carefully manoeuvre myself into a sitting position, hardly able to believe that I have spent the night here.

‘Good morning, sleepyhead.’

Nathan appears with a breezy smile, carrying a tray of coffee, orange juice and some blueberry muffins.

‘The muffins are made with my own fair hands!’ he announces proudly and places the tray down beside me on the table.

‘What time is it?’ I ask, as I get my bearings. I must have been really exhausted to fall asleep like that. Perhaps I should never have mixed wine with the brandy.

‘Just after eight.’

‘Eight o’clock? I can’t believe it,’ I say as he pours me a coffee from a cafetière. ‘Why didn’t you wake me last night?’ I ask.

‘You just looked so comfortable.’ His eyes crease upwards into a smile. He is dressed in lounge pants and a T-shirt, his hair lightly rumpled. ‘Well, as comfortable as you could be.’ He glances at my ankle.

For a second, I imagine how I would have felt waking up in the same bed as him this morning, wrapped in his arms, before I push the picture out of my mind.

I have seen for myself how easy he is around women, and the admiring glances he attracts.

Do I really want to get reacquainted with someone like that when I am hundreds of miles away from home?

He helps me up and I head to the loo on my trusty crutches, my evening bag tucked under my arm.

At least there is a downstairs bathroom, I tell myself thankfully, as I wash my hands and stare at my reflection on the mirror.

Gosh I look rough. Last night’s make-up has all but disappeared from my face and I have panda eyes.

I freshen up as best I can, before returning to the lounge.

‘I have a big day today; I really ought to be off.’ I’m thinking of the protest later outside the library. ‘I imagine you need to get on too.’ I take a bite of the delicious muffin.

‘I do. The shop only opens at nine thirty, and it is a slightly later start in the winter months. The workers will be arriving soon to pick some more parsnips, though – we sell a ton of them at Christmas as you can imagine. I’ll drive you back.

I’ll grab a quick shower while you finish your coffee, if that’s okay, though? ’

‘Sure,’ I say, realising I will be back at the hotel around nine, where I will have the small matter of encountering June at reception.

The walk of shame in last night’s dress, even though there was nothing shameful about the whole evening…

It would hardly be the most romantic encounter anyway, with my ankle in this stupid cast.

Damn it, why did I have to fall asleep here?

Although I’m not sure why I am worrying about looks from June.

I’m sure she doesn’t give two hoots about my private life.

And why should I worry if she does? I guess it is just a reminder of how easily you can become the subject of gossip in a small village.

I polish off the delicious muffin, amazed that Nathan really made it, before I finish my coffee.

I’ve learned that Nathan is a good businessman, a master baker, and as good looking as he ever was.

What else there is to know about him? He seems almost too good to be true – and I suddenly find myself wondering what led to his divorce.

There is thankfully no one behind the desk in reception, so I slope to my room and flop down onto my bed, my head spinning.

I go over last night’s events in my mind, recalling our date in the restaurant, and how wonderful it all felt. I remember Nathan taking my hand in his, and the pulsating effect it had on me. I am sure we would have kissed back at the cottage. If I had not fallen asleep, that is – but then what?

I imagine him covering me in a blanket as he returned from the kitchen, and I cringe. I bet his other dates don’t do that. I have an image of him entertaining other women at the cottage and find it one I don’t care for.

Managing to take a shower and carefully dressing, I am styling my long hair in the mirror when Marilyn calls. Thankfully, one of the things I take with me everywhere is my hair-taming gel, which allows me to style it into smooth curls.

‘Morning, Ruby, how are we this morning?’ she asks chirpily.

‘Marilyn, hi, I’m good thanks, and you?’

‘Yes, fine thanks. So, are you all set for later? I have just had a call from the regional news station, who have informed me they will be here at noon to set up and do a sound check. Oh, and everyone has been busy making banners for the protest, especially the children; they look rather wonderful.’

‘That’s fantastic. Let’s hope it all has some effect.’

Marilyn had approached the council inviting a representative to attend the meeting, but they have, as predicted, declined.

‘I do hope so,’ says Marilyn. ‘I suppose all we can do is try. It would be awful to give up without a fight.’

I sit thinking about the protest later, when I receive a text from Nathan:

Have you thought any more about staying on at the cottage? X

His message makes my stomach roll, and at once throws my mind into turmoil. Do I really want to be staying so close to Nathan? Would I be able to resist him if we spent time together in the evening?

It takes me a while to reply, and when I do, I simply tell him that I will speak to him later about it.

Just after eleven, I feel the need to call Mum. I hope she isn’t in the middle of the fields or something. On the third ring she answers.

‘Ruby, hi, darling, is everything okay?’ she asks.

‘Yes, fine, Mum. Are you free to talk?’

‘As it happens, your timing couldn’t be better. We have just finished some cleaning up and are about to take a coffee break.’

I’m not exactly sure how Mum will help, but after spending time with Nathan, I just feel the need to speak to her. She adored him so much when we were younger. That was all such a long time ago, though.

‘So how are things there?’ I ask her.

‘Pretty much as they were the other day when you called me. The elephant calf is still doing well. So, I suspect that is not the only reason for your call?’ she says knowingly.

‘Well, maybe not entirely… The thing is, I bumped into Nathan yesterday.’

‘Ah, the one you were always so careful to avoid. How is he?’

‘He’s good. Doing very well in fact.’

‘Is he married?’ she asks, as I hear water being poured in the background.

‘Are you sure you aren’t busy?’ I ask her.

‘I’ve told you, it’s break time. I’m just filling a kettle,’ she says, before I hear her talking to someone else. ‘There, someone else is going to make the coffee now, so I am all yours. Only instant coffee for now, as our coffee machine is broken, but never mind. So, were where we?’

‘You asked if Nathan was married. He is divorced,’ I explain.

I realise it is something I would never have known, had I not returned here.

‘I see. Does he know you are currently single? Did you chat long enough for him to know that?’ she presses.

‘We did. In fact, he took me to dinner last night.’ Once more, I go over the gorgeous evening in my head. ‘The food, the lighting and ambience in the restaurant, it was all just perfect,’ I tell her.

‘Ah I see, so you really had a good catch-up then,’ she says. ‘And how did it feel spending time with him, after so long?’

I wish I could tell her that it was pleasant enough to catch up with an old friend, but nothing more.

‘Oh, Mum, it was lovely. All that time I tried to avoid him, but I guess things were raw back then.’ I sigh. ‘There has been a lot of water under the bridge since then.’

‘But did you still feel something when you were with him?’ she asks. ‘Because you do know that true love never dies.’

‘I guess I did feel something, yes, although I wish I didn’t…’ I long for her to be here in person instead of at the other end of a phone.

‘Why do you wish that?’

‘Because it felt good being near him. Wonderful in fact. But my life is in London. I guess I just don’t want to get hurt all over again.’

‘You clearly don’t believe in fate, then?’ I can imagine her smiling at the other end of the phone.

‘Not usually, although I have wondered why I have ended up coming back here. And I guess it has taken my mind off my broken ankle.’

I realise then that I hadn’t told Mum about that as I didn’t want to worry her, being so far away.

‘You’ve broken your ankle?’ she asks in surprise.

‘Yes, I slipped in the snow.’

‘Oh Ruby, why on Earth did you not tell me? Are you alright?’

‘Yeah fine, it’s just a real inconvenience. I guess I didn’t want to worry you…’

‘I’m your mother,’ she says softly. ‘I love you and I care about your welfare, no matter how many miles there are between us. I hope you know that.’

I can feel a lump form in my throat. I know Mum loves me even though she rarely says so. It feels good to hear it out loud.

‘Of course, thanks, Mum,’ I say quietly. ‘And sorry if it’s selfish of me, but I kind of wish you were here in Brindleford with me. Marilyn was asking about you too,’ I tell her.

I wonder whether I ought to have left the subject of her returning here out of the conversation, as well as speaking of Marilyn, as Mum is quiet for a minute.

‘I have been curious over the years,’ she admits. ‘Although maybe a little like you, I did not want to revisit the ghosts of my past.’

‘I get that,’ I say.

‘I wasn’t sure you would fully understand,’ she tells me then.

‘But you are old enough to know that not all of my memories in Brindleford are good, especially with your father. But Marilyn was a good friend. She got me through some dark times, as did Gerard, before they were a couple. I should get in touch with her, if you think that she would like that.’

I wipe away a silent tear that has slid down my cheek. ‘I know she would.’

‘In the meantime, do what makes you happy, Ruby,’ she advises. ‘You know how much I loved Nathan, as did you. If you feel any of that love again, I think you should follow your heart. Life is far too short to do anything else.’