Page 28 of Home This Christmas

TWENTY-THREE

‘You’re divorced?’

I put down my glass of wine as I take in the news and I wonder why I feel something in the pit of my stomach.

‘I am. Four years ago now. After we divorced, I sold up and bought a farmhouse and some land to grow vegetables. Over the last few years, we have steadily built up the business to include a farm shop. We even have a cottage to rent along with a few glamping pods,’ he says. ‘Things are going really well.’

‘Wow that sounds amazing, so no animals then?’

‘Chickens – we sell the eggs in the shop – and a few goats and a couple of pigs. Families like to visit, and the kids love the animals, along with the wooden adventure playground.’ He paints a picture of quite the local attraction.

‘Ah right. So, when you say we have built up the business…?’

‘Me and Dad. He lives in a cottage on the land. He is gamekeeper and general caretaker. Sadly, Mum is with us no more.’

‘Oh, I am so sorry, Nathan. I always liked your mum,’ I say sincerely.

‘Thanks. It’s been two years now. I don’t think Dad would still be around if he didn’t have his projects helping around the farm. Well, imparting his wisdom mainly, but the young workers don’t seem to mind.’

‘It all sounds amazing.’

‘Thanks. It’s been a labour of love, but I have enjoyed it.

I realised the locals might enjoy having a farm shop, but people drive for miles for the produce, which is also used in the onsite café.

You should come and see it whilst you are here,’ he suggests.

‘It was even featured on an episode of Yorkshire Farming once.’

‘That’s brilliant – and maybe I will. So, do you have a family?’ I ask. ‘To be honest, I was wondering why you were alone here today.’

‘I do. Twin boys, Dylan and Joe.’ He smiles at the mention of their names.

‘I assume they are with their mother?’ I ask, hoping I am not prying too much.

‘No, they are both at university,’ he tells me as he slices into his venison. ‘They will both be arriving home to spend Christmas with me. They alternate Christmas with me and their mother, although they are adults now. As Leanne is away this year, I’m pleased to have my boys stay with me.’

I don’t recognise the name Leanne as someone from the village, but I guess they could have met anywhere.

‘Your sons are at university?’ I ask, completely surprised. Didn’t Phylis tell me that Nathan had little boys?

‘That’s right, Dylan is studying business management, and Joe is studying to be a vet. They were keen to spread their wings, but they are always around in the holidays.’

A waitress appears at the table offering more wine and I accept a glass of red. The man on the other side of Nathan begins a conversation with him then, leaving me thinking about how Nathan is now divorced with grown-up sons.

His boys are at university, I think to myself as I reapply some lipstick in the bathroom mirror.

So for a lot of the year, he is alone at the farm.

Well, apart from with his father and staff.

It would be nice to see to see his dad; he was a nice man, if a little forthright in his opinions as I recall.

As the wedding meal draws to a close, people are sitting around chatting in lounge chairs and a team of workers clear the tables and line them up against a wall, where a buffet will appear later this evening.

‘Are you okay?’ Nathan has noticed me suppress a yawn.

‘I guess I am a little tired… It’s been a long day, and this ankle is a bit of a drag, literally.’

‘We could take a drink to your room, if you like?’

‘Hmmm, I’m not sure,’ I say uncertainly.

‘Sorry,’ says Nathan, holding his hands up. ‘That was a crass thing to say, suggesting going to your room. I hope you know that I wasn’t going to suggest anything improper,’ he adds emphatically.

‘I am sure you weren’t.’ I smile. ‘But I think I will go for a lie-down anyway. I hardly slept a wink last night.’

‘Then let me at least escort you to your room.’

‘Sure.’

Nathan walks me to my room and when I open the door, I decide to invite him inside anyway.

‘Maybe if you are going to continue partying, you could do with a coffee,’ I suggest.

‘I’d like that.’

Sitting with our drinks, Nathan on a wing-backed chair, me on the window seat, I tell him about my encounter with Phylis.

‘Poor Phylis is confused,’ he tells me. ‘She has recently been diagnosed with dementia, but I’m told her memory is deteriorating pretty quickly.’

‘That must be awful for her.’

‘It must be. I remember when she had the Greyhound pub and how she loved to chat to the customers.’

‘Me too. And us trying to get served when we were underage.’ We both laugh.

‘And those long snogs in the alleyway on the walk home.’

His comment gives me tingles throughout my body as those heady days come rushing back. We would have picnics in fields in the summer months, and strolls along country paths that would often end in passionate encounters in the barn, yet never quite fully having sex.

I’m not sure what really held me back, but maybe deep down I was trying to protect my own feelings as well as Nathan’s, knowing I wasn’t going to be staying around.

Plus, living in a small village and attending the doctor’s for contraception at the age of seventeen was something I didn’t fancy doing either, so the risk of getting pregnant was always there in the back of mind.

If I close my eyes, I can picture us locked in an embrace, Nathan breathing heavily and telling me how much I drove him crazy with desire.

‘Phylis told me you had little boys.’ I’m keen to change the subject of our teenage years, as I feel the heat rise in my cheeks. ‘I thought you had only been married a few years.’

‘Quite the opposite,’ he says, placing his coffee cup down. ‘I met Leanne a year after you left and was married the following year.

It seems Nathan moved on pretty quickly.

‘I see.’

Nathan’s phone rings then, and he answers. ‘I’ll be there in a minute; no, I haven’t gone home,’ he says with an eye roll. ‘See you in a bit.

‘You are sure you won’t join me for that slow dance later?’ he asks, as he sits next to me on the window seat, our arms touching in the small space. He smells good enough to eat.

‘I can’t make any promises. I’ll probably be fast asleep in an hour.’

‘Then can I see you tomorrow? I would love to show you around the farm.’

‘I am hoping to be on my way back to London then…’

‘Do you really need to leave tomorrow?’ He searches my eyes, and I wish he would stand and put a little distance between us.

Do I need to? I ask myself. And will a day really make any difference?

‘Perhaps I could stay.’ I shrug. ‘But I will have to check about keeping the room. I am sure June said something about people booking in over the Christmas holidays.’

‘Maybe I can help with that,’ he replies, finally standing and moving towards the door. ‘So, can I see you tomorrow?’ he asks once more, as I see him out.

He looks so handsome standing in the open doorway, his arm resting on the door frame, the collar of his shirt open, his tie now discarded. I take in his eternally handsome face and dark hair and find myself agreeing.

‘Okay. You can collect me at eleven if that suits?’ I find myself saying.

‘It does.’ He smiles. ‘It really is so good to see you, Ruby.’ He gives me a peck on the cheek, and the scent of him has my pulse racing, even after all these years. I almost wish his lips would land on mine, but they don’t.

As I close the door behind me, I feel filled with confusion. They do say never go back. So what exactly am I doing, delighting in the fact that Nathan is divorced, and already looking forward to seeing him again?