Page 6 of Hollis (The Moore Men #2)

So what? He said something flirty, big deal.

It is common knowledge around town that Hollis is a flirt.

We are on a dating app, after all, so flirting is going to happen.

Besides, it’s not like it’s the first time somebody on here has said something suggestive to me.

How is this any different? It shouldn’t be, right?

Except with the other ones, all I felt reading them was a slight annoyance or even just…

I don’t know, indifference. I didn’t feel the urge to respond, or do anything, really, other than close ou t of the message and go about my day.

There was no racing pulse, no dry mouth, no sweaty palms. Reading the brazen things the other people sent didn’t have my chest squeezing or send a wave of tingles over my body.

There was no excitement coursing through my veins, no giddiness that can only be compared to sneaking around as a teenager—doing something you know you shouldn’t be doing.

The rush that overcomes you, the one that makes whatever you’re doing that much more fun because it’s wrong… The right kind of wrong.

I didn’t feel any of that with the other messages.

So, why do I with him ?

As if Hollis can sense the inner turmoil and near-existential dread, another message from him rolls in. Grabbing my phone, my thumb hovers over the notification for a beat before finally opening it.

KnockinBoots: Uh-oh… didn’t scare you away, did I, Fire Daddy?

Did he scare me away? It kind of seems that way, but not enough to un-match with him.

Fuck , this is so wrong. If he knew who I was, he’d probably lose all interest in flirting with me. I’m being deceitful. Deleting him from the app would be the smartest thing to do. Then I could focus on meeting somebody who isn’t off limits. Somebody more my age.

But I don’t want to.

Not because I’m interested in the idea of taking this further with Hollis—because I’m not—but because the idea of small talking with a stranger on a platform like this makes my palms sweat.

Yeah…that’s it. Talking to Hollis is dipping my toes in the water.

I know it could never become anything off the app, so the stakes are lower. It’s less scary.

Attempting this whole online dating thing feels similar to when I first joined the force.

The first couple of fires I ran into were scary.

They were an unknown situation that I understood in a roundabout way, from training and stories I’d heard from other firefighters, but hearing about what it’s like to run into a burning building while everybody else is running out and experiencing it firsthand are two vastly different things.

No amount of training or stories or pep talks from people with far more experience will ever truly prepare you for the adrenaline flooding your system, the thrill making it hard to catch your breath, or the anxious energy vibrating through your bones.

It’s something you have to live through to fully understand. Something that gets a little less scary and unknown the more you do it, until one day, it’s second nature.

So, maybe dating for the first time in over two decades is like running into those first few burning buildings…

Scary now, but with practice, it’ll become less daunting.

Maybe I’ll second guess everything I say or feel for now, and my heart will stutter every time someone says something that makes me a little uncomfortable, but after a few matches, the nerves will slowly shift into something more…

electrifying. Maybe time and experience are all I need.

Experience I can get from Hollis.

With that in mind, I type out a response and send it before I can talk myself out of it.

FireInMyVeins: Nah, didn’t scare me away. I’m just new to this type of thing, that’s all.

KnockinBoots: New to dating apps or new to men?

FireInMyVeins: New to online dating.

KnockinBoots: Not gonna lie… That does make me even more curious about you.

FireInMyVeins: In what way?

KnockinBoots: Well, for one, the fact that you’re in your late forties and this is the first time you’re using dating apps is definitely curious.

Prior to now, did you not date/hook up at all?

Do you normally find your partners in person?

Or possibly have you never used dating apps because they weren’t a thing the last time you were single…

Is Fire Daddy a newly divorced man? We can start there. *upside down smile emoji* *wink emoji*

FireInMyVeins: Wow… straight for the jugular right out the gate, I see.

KnockinBoots: Rule #23: No pussyfooting around shit. We must live, breathe, and abide by rule #23.

Chuckling, I scratch a hand across the scruff lining my jaw. I suppose he does have a point.

FireInMyVeins: Touché. *laughing emoji* I just didn’t expect to be asked about my entire life story.

KnockinBoots: Well, fortunately—or maybe, unfortunately—for you, you’re dealing with a pro. Don’t worry, I’ll guide you through it. Think of me as your very own Mr. Miyagi or Yoda… just as wise, but sexier and kinkier. *wink emoji*

Shaking my head, I chuckle to myself as my cheeks heat. This fucking guy. Before I can type out a response, a call from Remi pops up, stealing my attention. Gaze lifting to the top of my screen, I note it’s after nine. Not unheard of for him to call me this late, but it raises concern, nonetheless.

“Remi, everythin’ okay?” I ask, pushing into a sitting position.

“Everythin’ is more than okay, Cap.” There’s clear enthusiasm in his voice, which only strengthens the concern. “You’re goin’ to want to kiss me when I tell ya the news I have for you.”

“Doubtful,” I deadpan. “But I’m listenin’. ”

“Okay, you know how you haven’t had very much luck findin’ a place to live?”

“No luck, actually,” I correct. “And yes, I’m well aware of the situation, Remi, but thank you for callin’ me after nine on our day off to remind me.”

Snorting, he says, “If you hush and let me finish, you’ll find out that I’m not callin’ to remind you, but to tell you that I found the perfect place for you to move into!”

“We’ve already been through this. I appreciate you offerin’ me the spare room at your house, but it ain’t happenin’.

We see each other enough at the firehouse; we don’t need to live together too.

Contrary to what you’d like to believe, I don’t want to see you every second of the day. It’s nice of you to offer, but no.”

Remi barks out a laugh. “Okay, first of all, Cap, that’s a lie. I’m the light in your life. Seein’ me brightens your whole day. I know it, you know it. But it’s okay, we can go with your story to avoid makin’ everyone on the crew jealous.”

“Okay, whatever.” I heave an exaggerated sigh, feigning annoyance that isn’t there.

Remi sometimes comes off like an overly excited puppy that can’t sit still.

One that can’t help but stick his nose where it doesn’t belong, and while it can be a bit much at times, I know it comes from a good place.

“Regardless, my answer is no, but thank you. Now, if that’s all, I’m?—”

“Pipe down, old man.” He chuckles, and it has the faintest smile pulling at the corner of my mouth.

“It’s not my house. It’s one of the fully furnished cabins on the Moore’s ranch.

They rent them out and have a few available.

I talked to Hollis the other day when we were there for that fire.

He just let me know that Gentry agreed to rent it to you for as long as you need. ”

I’m silent for a moment .

A cabin on the Moore Family Ranch.

No.

Nope.

I don’t care how badly I want out of here, that can’t be my solution.

“That won’t be necessary,” I mutter.

“Of course it’s necessary,” he drawls. “Where else are ya gonna go?”

“Somethin’ will come up soon. I’m not gonna take handouts from people I barely know.”

Remi’s quiet for a moment. “What are you talkin’ about? It’s not a handout, and they aren’t people you barely know. It’s Hollis and his family. And it’s a hell of a lot nicer than your current digs. Have you seen how nice their property is?”

Even though I shouldn’t, I find myself considering it.

Yeah, being there means I’m closer to Hollis, but that doesn’t change anything.

He still doesn’t know who I am on the app, and it’s not like I’d make a move.

Yet something is still holding me back that has nothing to do with Hollis and how his flirting sets my body on fire.

“That’s very thoughtful of you to do, Remi.

Thank you.” Some would call it pride, a therapist would probably call it a trauma response, but I’ve rarely ever asked for help.

If it’s not something I can achieve on my own, then it’s not for me.

Or at least, that was my thought before.

But now… Well, the urge to turn away from this handout is still front and center, but now the logical part of my brain acknowledges what a great opportunity this would be, especially considering the alternative is more of this glorified dorm living.

Maybe it’s time to put away the pride, or whatever it may be.

Tuck my tail between my legs and take what I can get.

“Can I think on it and get back to you in a day or two? ”

Okay, old habits die hard, clearly.

“What?” Remi balks, huffing out a small chuckle. “No way, Cap.”

My brows furrow as I wonder if I heard him right. “Excuse me?”

“Listen, no disrespect or judgement, but you’ve been livin’ at the firehouse for weeks. There’s nothin’ to think about. I’m not lettin’ you be stubborn this time. I’ve taken care of everythin’, and Hollis and I are goin’ to help you move all your stuff next week.”

My stomach drops. I breathe a harsh breath through my nose. “Remington…”

“Don’t you dare full name me.” He laughs. “I think the words you’re lookin’ for are, ‘thank you, Remi. I’m so lucky to have such a thoughtful, caring, and handsome friend like you.’”

“I’m hangin’ up now,” I groan.

“Next week, Cap. Be ready,” he says in a rush before ending the call.

Phone in hand, my chest feels cut open and exposed while emotion clogs my throat. It’s a terrible combination, and it triggers some sort of fight-or-flight mode. After I force myself to take a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart, I unlock the phone and pull up Remi’s text thread.

Me: Thank you.

No matter how uncomfortable all of this is, Remi didn’t have to do any of it. He doesn’t owe me a damn thing. Knowing he went out of his way to make this happen for me means a lot, and I need him to know I appreciate it. Appreciate him.

Remembering the message I didn’t respond to, I open the app again. It’s late, so there’s a chance Hollis won’t even respond tonight, but maybe that’s for the best. It’ll give me time to answer the question and prepare for whatever one he comes back with tomorrow.

FireInMyVeins: You’re right, in that I’m relatively fresh out of a relationship that began long before dating apps were even a thought.

It’s not something I’ve shared with many people, but in favor of abiding by rule #23, I’ll be honest and admit it almost feels easier sharing something personal with you, since you don’t know who I am.

I close out of the app after hitting send, plugging my phone in and setting it on the nightstand. It’s time to go to bed before my mind has a chance to overthink the whole evening.

I’m going to be fine, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.

Everything’s going to be fine.