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JACK

I TAKE A last look at Andy as she sleeps. She’s so brave, and she’s worked so hard these past months. She doesn’t deserve all this shit. As I close the door, her beautiful face is the last thing I see.

Then I make my way home through a light snowfall. As the snow crunches underfoot, I wish I was stomping on her stupid ex. Why can’t he leave her alone? Leave us alone? People break up. Take it like a fucking man and move on.

At home, I eat dinner and vent to Mats. Then I go up to my room to study, but I can’t focus. This whole situation is so infuriating. Andy is the best sports editor the Messenger has ever had. Now, it’s all being taken from her out of spite.

I slam my textbook shut, grab my coat, and head to Mats’s room. He’s working on his laptop on his bed.

Come with me to the newspaper office, I plead.

He looks up. Sorry, what?

I’ve got an idea. I’m going to get a bunch of guys from the team to talk to Bryce. We can explain what a good job she’s doing and how much we all like the hockey coverage. He’ll have to give her her job back.

Mats shakes his head. From what you’ve told me, Bryce knows exactly how good Andy is. He’s just being a vindictive asshole. He pauses, then adds, And all of us going in—especially you—only highlights the fact that she has a special relationship with the team.

What are you talking about? You don’t actually think it’s a conflict of interest, do you? I demand.

No, I don’t, but nobody on the team gave a fuck about last year’s sports editor. If he got fired, we wouldn’t have done anything.

I exhale, trying to ease the powerlessness I’ve felt ever since Andy’s first tear. I…I can’t just sit around while Andy’s miserable. What Bryce is doing isn’t right. Isn’t talking to him worth a try?

Mats sighs and closes his laptop. Okay, I’ll come with you. But just the two of us.

We head out and trudge through the snow, which is falling faster now. It feels good to be actually doing something instead of sitting around and stressing.

It’s fucking cold, complains Mats. He’s got his jacket collar pulled up and his toque pulled down.

I smile. West coast wimp. Just wait until January.

When we get to the building that houses the Messenger office, Mats stops and grabs my arm.

Sinc, you have to keep your cool in there, okay? No threats, and no violence.

I shake my head. You know I’m not like that. Coach is always telling me not to be so nice out there.

Yeah, but you’re pretty protective when it comes to Andy. And I don’t want you getting suspended or anything.

I nod, and we make our way upstairs. Even though it’s after 8:00 PM, there are still people in the newspaper office. Andy said that she used to spend hours here. I walk straight over to Bryce with Mats trailing behind me.

Bryce swivels in his office chair and leans back. He’s wearing a sneer that I’d like to wipe off his face.

Ah, not one, but two members of our esteemed hockey team. To what do I owe the honour? he drawls.

My hand closes into a fist, but I remember Mats’s warning and flex out my fingers.

We think you’re making a mistake in removing Andy as the sports editor, and— I begin.

Bryce interrupts. While I’m impressed that you’ve done some thinking , this is really none of your business. Then he turns back to face his desk, dismissing me.

What a fucking idiot. I grab the back of his chair and spin him around, gripping the armrests and leaning in so we’re face to face. Listen up, you asshole—

Relax, Sinc. Mats pulls me back and takes my place in front of Bryce.

We just wanted to offer some feedback. The team and our many fans have been very happy with the way you’ve been covering hockey this year, one or two early stumbles aside.

We understand you’re thinking of making a change, and we wonder if that’s necessary.

Bryce raises an arrogant eyebrow. Well, others on campus may kowtow to your wishes, but here at the Messenger we believe in journalistic independence.

You don’t get to dictate who covers the hockey team.

Besides, there’s no reason why that same reporter—Jacob Johnson, I believe—can’t continue to cover the games.

A change in the sports editor won’t affect that.

Then he looks over Mats’s shoulder at me, sneer back in place. Did Andy send her big, tough boyfriend to try to intimidate me into giving her back her position?

Now not only do I want to wipe the sneer from his face, I’d like to remove his entire head from his neck as well. Mats nudges me, so again I relax my hands.

Andy doesn’t know I’m here. Look, she’s done a great job as the sports editor, you know that. Something like this will mess up her work prospects. I don’t add that it’s an asshole move, because it’s clear that Bryce glories in being an asshole.

For a moment, he seems to be actually considering my arguments. He must know how much Andy wants to work at a newspaper. Office politics and breakups are one thing, but messing up her dream career?

Bryce crosses his arms. If you’re so concerned about Andy’s future, why don’t you help her out, then?

That’s what I’m trying to do, I explain.

He chuckles, and even his laugh is sarcastic. Oh. She didn’t tell you, then.

Tell me what?

His ugly smile widens. There’s no conflict of interest if she’s not dating someone on the hockey team. If you care about her future so much, maybe you can figure out how to make that happen. Then Andy is welcome to return to her sports editorship.

Is he shitting me? So, if I break up with Andy, she can be the sports editor again? My low opinion of him has sunk even further.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, there’s nothing he can gain from this stupid move other than messing up Andy’s life—it’s more work for him, a worse sports section, and the loss of a hard-working editor. And all for some petty revenge?

Bryce stands to face me. Guys like you are used to getting their way all the time, but the rest of us understand that personal sacrifices have to be made on occasion.

My fists tighten again. Maybe hitting him wouldn’t accomplish anything, but it would feel so good.

Mats jerks me back by the arm. Let’s go. You tried. There’s no point in discussing this further.

I exhale. Mats is right. I turn to walk away.

Bryce needs to have the last word, of course. My offer doesn’t last forever, though. I’ll be installing a new sports editor in twenty-four hours.

We leave without even acknowledging his last threat.

What an absolute scumbag, Mats declares as we make our way home.

Yeah. I can’t understand why Andy ever dated him. Although he’s obviously smart, his personality seems wholly negative. Maybe he’s driven by jealousy, but acting like this only makes things worse. She’s gone from disliking him to despising him.

Still, I have some pity for him. I don’t know what I’d do without Andy in my life.

Whenever I first see her again—on campus, after games, at her residence—something inside me jumps.

Maybe it’s my heart meeting hers. We haven’t been together that long, but every moment has been special.

Seeing her is the highlight of my day. I depend on her support and her opinions. She is my north star.

Yet, I can’t stop thinking about what Bryce said. If Andy wasn’t going out with me, she could still be the sports editor. Why didn’t I realize that when she mentioned the whole conflict-of-interest thing?

A FTER A RESTLESS night, I message Andy first thing in the morning.

She doesn’t get back to me for a few hours.

She apologizes, saying she slept in and skipped her class, which is so unlike her.

Now I’m desperate to talk to her. After all, Bryce’s stupid deadline is ticking down.

I head to her room as soon as my morning classes are done.

When Andy opens the door, her face is pale and her clothes are rumpled. She looks tired.

Hey, you. She wraps her arms around me, and I kiss the top of her head. Hugging her feels so good that, for a moment, I wonder if the conversation we’re going to have is a mistake.

How are you today? I ask.

Better. Her brave smile makes my heart ache. She’s not better.

Thanks so much for last night, she says.

For what? It feels like I did fuck-all for her.

For tucking me in and being so sweet.

She leans into me, and once again I feel hollow at the idea of not having Andy in my life. But I have to do the right thing. I take her hand in mine.

I’ve been thinking about the sports editorship and how important it is to you, I begin.

She shakes her head. We really don’t have to rehash this again. It’s pointless.

Is it, though? What if… I hesitate, unable to get the words out.

What if what? she asks.

Andy, I was wondering…do you think we should break up?

Her eyes widen, but everything else about her freezes. Suddenly, she pushes away from me and sits on the bed. Then she bends over, with her head between her knees. I can hear her taking deep, gulping breaths.

Andy, what’s wrong? I sit beside her and rub her back.

She stays silent, like she can’t even hear me. I can’t see her face and all I can hear is her choking breaths.

Are you okay?

She still doesn’t respond, but her breathing is starting to slow. I put an arm around her. Are you sick or something?

Andy raises her head and focuses on me. You want to break up? she asks in a tiny voice.

No, of course not! But look how hard you’ve worked towards a job in journalism. And Bryce said that if we break up by tonight, you can be the sports editor again.

You talked to Bryce? she asks in a soft tone.

Yeah, Mats and I went to the newspaper office last night. I tried to convince him to let you stay on. I stop, since she doesn’t seem to be listening.

She wraps her arms around herself.

Andy, please. Talk to me.

Now her eyes meet mine. Jack. Do you realize what you did? Things have been so good between us, and…then you suggested breaking up, out of nowhere. Something we’ve both experienced and never wanted to go through again.