Page 21 of His Unexpected Duchess (Hearts of Whitmores #2)

CHAPTER 21

S unlight welcomed Joanna the following morning before she was prepared to rise.

Rubbing her eyes, she could hear Beatrice in the back of her mind that a lady never jabbed at her face like this without running the risk of getting wrinkles and bruises. And then her stepmother would probably toss in a quiet murmur that it was most likely too late and Joanna was indeed a helpless case.

“I will always protect you.”

She straightened up in search of her husband, only to find herself all alone. It was only in her head.

She put a hand over her heart, discovering that it was beating quicker than usual. Joanna sighed and flopped back down onto the pillows.

I suppose it is true. He does mean to protect me to the best of his ability.

All night she’d tossed and turned, picturing those eyes of his from the carriage. They had been so dark. So handsome. So alluring. Her spine tingled and shivered at the memory, wondering what had compelled her to believe him.

Her thoughts and expectations of her husband were changing daily, and she didn’t know what to make of this. It was easier to imagine Nicholas as nothing more than a rake. And yet…

A rake wouldn’t have been there to protect her. He wouldn’t have made those sorts of promises. In fact, he hadn’t even needed to make an appearance; her note to him had said as much. But he had cut his meeting short to join her at the garden party.

“Good morning, Your Grace!” Aileen swept into the room with a cheery smile. “How are you this morning?”

“Quite well.” Joanna slipped slowly from beneath her blankets to slide her feet into her slippers. She eventually put on a smile. “I believe we have a relaxed day ahead, so perhaps my new blue day dress with the lily sleeves?”

Setting down a breakfast tray on the small table by the window, her maid nodded. “I think that sounds splendid. You can wear it this morning, but I don’t think you’ll want the green gown we discussed for tonight.”

“Oh?” Joanna stopped midstride. “Why not?”

Taking a minute to recall what she had discussed with her maid last night—ensuring her clothes would be properly prepared for today—she pieced it together. A quiet morning for reading. Another driving lesson with Eleanor in the afternoon. And then in the evening, Eleanor was going to play another beautiful song on the harp while Joanna practiced her dancing.

How else will I know if I am prepared for the upcoming ball? I cannot embarrass my family––not even Beatrice or Nicholas.

“Your Grace?”

It wasn’t until Aileen was standing in front of her that she looked up and gave a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, Aileen, what were you saying?”

“The Duke,” her maid said a little louder. “He has plans for you this evening.”

“The Duke? Do you mean my husband?” Joanna asked before realizing how foolish that sounded. “I don’t recall discussing anything with him. What is this about? Perhaps I had better speak with him…”

She started toward the door connecting their rooms. She had never dared touch it, but it remained there, closed and ignored. Until now.

Nicholas hadn’t interfered with her schedule much before. If they were going shopping again, she wanted to put a stop to it, since she didn’t think it was necessary to buy anything else. Already she’d bought more than enough delightful goods to last her a couple of years.

“Oh, Your Grace, he isn’t there.”

Drawing back her hand, Joanna turned around. “He’s not? I should have known he was already awake.”

“No, I mean he’s never in that room.” Her maid fumbled with the tray, rearranging everything. “The Duke doesn’t use that room. Servants talk, remember? Apparently, he still uses the bedchamber he grew up in because he doesn’t want the master suite. Some think––”

“Thank you, but can you please prepare my day dress?” Joanna cut her off.

She didn’t want to hear the gossip ready. Most likely, she already knew. They all knew, since the answer would be so obvious: Nicholas wouldn’t want his father’s rooms after losing him so suddenly. Rooms that were never meant to be his, since they should have gone to his elder brother instead.

“Certainly, Your Grace,” Aileen offered without a hitch in her step, hardly bothered by the interruption. “I’ll lay everything out while you eat. Enjoy the fresh marmalade.”

Joanna did indeed enjoy her breakfast, chewing quietly while she considered what this all meant.

And yet the rest of her day had her feeling unbalanced. Like she was trying to stand on one foot instead of two.

Eleanor brought them home sooner than Joanna had expected. She made no excuse for it, saying they’d done their best for the day. But the moment Joanna made her way up to her bedchamber, eager for a bath, she found three boxes resting on the settee and her maid squealing around the room.

“There you are, Your Grace! Oh, how lovely! I have been waiting thirty-four minutes for you. I didn’t dare open these without you! Will you please open them now? They’re from the finest shops in London. See?” Aileen clasped her hands together eagerly, looking between Joanna and the boxes.

Tired from the sun and the strain of controlling the beasts, Joanna sighed. “I don’t know about this. Are you certain these are from the Duke?”

“Who else could they be from?”

I suppose she has a point.

Joanna didn’t like that she had already spent so much of his money, and now he was buying her more clothes. Yes, she would have liked some nice things, but this? She couldn’t imagine why he was giving her something.

As she stood before the boxes, all of varying sizes, she wondered what would happen if she didn’t open them.

“I will protect you.”

“Your Grace?”

Joanna turned around, but only Aileen was in the room with her.

The maid hesitated, dropping her hand in concern.

“Right, yes.” Shaking her head, Joanna pulled herself together. She asked herself instead what might happen if she opened the boxes, trying to hold onto some of the eagerness and excitement that her maid clearly felt for her. “I suppose I should open them. They had better explain what is happening… Where do you think I should begin?”

“Oh, the biggest one, please!” Aileen grew pink. “I’m sure it’s a dress, Your Grace. And I’ll need to prepare it for you this evening. I can only imagine what he has in mind.”

There is only one way to find out.

Swallowing hard, Joanna felt a small thrill run up her spine at the thought of her husband. She hadn’t seen him all day. A part of her was disappointed by that fact, though she couldn’t imagine why they would encounter one another. They were busy with their own lives. They usually only saw each other at moments like this…

She sucked in a deep breath as she untied the lace bow on the largest box and opened the lid––and exhaled loudly as Aileen squealed in her right ear.

“Oh, how beautiful! Will you take it out, or shall I?”

“Please do,” Joanna barely managed to say.

Her eyes followed the movement of the deep green velvet dress that unfolded sweetly between them. Then, it fanned out. It danced and shivered in the daylight. Her breath caught at the sight of the thin, jeweled sleeves.

It was an elegant gown. Simple but elegant.

“Oh, it’s beautiful!” Aileen gushed. “Feel it, Your Grace.”

Joanna felt it and let out a sigh. She’d never felt anything so divine before. Though she had been tempted to purchase something in velvet, she hadn’t even dared to touch the fabric at the dressmaker’s. It had felt too far above her.

But I am a duchess, am I not?

She hardly dared. And yet… it was hers. It even fit her, she could tell. Her heart skipped a beat. This dress belonged to her, and it was because Nicholas wanted her to wear it.

“Oh, and there’s a cape!” Aileen bounced lightly on her feet. “Your Grace, you must be attending the opera tonight. How divine you shall look!”

Together they opened the rest of the boxes. Indeed, such ostentatious attire had to be for the opera. One went to be seen, so everyone said. And Joanna would love to see everything there. The velvet gown matched a velvet cape. With that cape came jeweled heels, which she’d never dared to wear before. To cap it all off, she found matching jewels in the much smaller boxes.

“This is too much,” she murmured in awe.

“The emeralds will match your gown,” her maid pointed out. “And you cannot take these back, I’m afraid. The housekeeper told me that these come from the Whitmore vaults—they’ve been in the family for three generations.”

Already Joanna knew she couldn’t return anything that was given to her, though she hardly felt she deserved it. Part of her feared that she didn’t deserve anything in this life, especially her husband.

“You are radiant,” Nicholas murmured when she eventually descended the stairs in her new dress and jewelry. “What a fine duchess you make.”

A hot blush covered her cheeks. “It is only with your help that I look like this.”

He extended his arm toward her. “Don’t be silly, Joanna. You never needed anything from me. You have always looked so lovely. Now, are you ready to enjoy the opera?”

Feeling her heart rate quicken as he looked her over again, Joanna nodded and accepted his arm.

Nicholas was strong and steady. He saw her in a way that no one else did. That no one ever would. The man could be rude and coarse, but only when he had reason to. At the same time, he was kind and generous and charming. It was difficult to keep her thoughts straight around him—as well as her heart.

The thought left her floundering on the ride to the opera house. What was her heart doing? It had never been very useful and had always been in the way.

And yet…

Nicholas tilted his head, otherwise not moving as their carriage rolled to a stop. His eyes glittered in the dim light of their carriage. She watched his lips turn upward at the corners.

“What is it?”

“Pardon?”

“You’ve been watching me the entire ride,” he noted with mild amusement. “Are you practicing for tonight’s show?”

She swallowed. “Perhaps.”

Nicholas chuckled low before he moved, the sound almost stealing her breath. She swallowed hard and accepted his hand. They were only going through the proper motions, she told herself. That was all this was about. There would be nothing strange or indecent about their time together. Just a proper outing.

And yet she couldn’t think of anything else throughout the evening but him.

Joanna felt his presence at her side. There wasn’t a moment when Nicholas was more than a hand’s breadth away. He guided her to their box, reintroduced Kenneth and Miss Amy Porter, and sat so close beside her that their elbows and knees kept brushing against one another.

The only time Joanna was able to forget he was there was during the second act. It was a fantastical opera, with floats and boats and colorful lights.

“This is your first opera. What did you think?” Nicholas asked after they navigated the crowd and climbed into their waiting carriage.

By then, Joanna was vibrating with excitement. “Oh, it was wonderful! I’ve never seen anything like it. Or heard anything like it. Why, what an incredible production. The soprano reached notes I’d never heard before. And their costumes! They were so colorful. I thought I might go blind from such brilliant shades of yellow and purple and blue. How everyone stayed put in their seats, I hardly know.”

She rambled all the way home and up the stairs.

“I wanted to join them on the stage. Not that I have half the talent. I never could. I know it’s not seemly, either, of course, but it made me feel so alive and wonderous and––and you really should tell me to be quiet, or else I’ll talk the entire evening,” she said while sucking in a deep breath.

Nodding along, Nicholas chuckled. “There comes the scolding wife.”

“I hardly scold you,” she protested.

“No, but perhaps you should,” he teased her, then leaned forward and smiled. “You’re a passionate woman, Joanna. I knew that from the moment we met, as tiresome as I first thought you were. But I’m glad of it. And I’m glad we had tonight.”

Her head spun at his words. “You are?”

“Certainly. I haven’t enjoyed myself this much in a long time. And seeing you like this… you’re an admirable woman,” he added.

“I am?”

“Repeating yourself?” he teased.

Joanna wondered which of them was stepping closer to the other. Because suddenly, their toes were touching. The rest of their bodies were close as well. She could taste his breath—red wine from a bottle they had shared at the opera. Spicy and sweet.

She exhaled tentatively. “I am?”

She couldn’t think of much else to say, caught up in the moment. She could barely breathe. He smelled spicy and felt warm.

How could she feel so much of him with her hands at her sides? The flickering light of the nearby candles was all she had to see him. And yet she could see enough. His eyes, for example, were brown and gentle. His black hair, darker than midnight, curled around his ears and brow.

Before she could help herself, she was reaching up to tuck it behind his ear. It was softer than she had imagined.

And those lips, tender and pink… Could they be as soft as his hair? Maybe softer? They drew closer, and she thought she could almost feel them.

He was going to kiss her, she knew it. This handsome man—her husband—was about to reach out and kiss her, when she didn’t know what to do.

Jerking back, Joanna felt heat flood her face. “Oh dear. I… I need to…” She inhaled sharply, not sure what she was doing. Only that she knew she didn’t know how to do this. “I’m sorry, I must… Good night.”

Into her room she went, quietly closing the door behind her and pressing her back against it. She slumped down to her knees in embarrassment.

Closing her eyes, Joanna scolded herself for running away like she had. But what else could she do? The man was experienced and knowledgeable and charming. She could do many things, but she didn’t know how to kiss. And she wouldn’t have known what to do with him if she had stayed there another minute.

Still, I wish I had. If only I was braver or passionate like he thinks me to be…

Joanna had felt full all day long, but now she feared she was much smaller than she could have ever imagined. And that was how she felt as she carefully peeled off her gown, removed her shoes, and set her jewelry on her side table. She felt even smaller as she curled up in her bed, trying to forget her embarrassment.

She avoided Nicholas over the next couple of days. She hardly looked him in the eyes, she avoided being close to him, and she wondered what she was supposed to do about their union. She couldn’t believe that he wanted her, not truly, and yet she didn’t know where else to go or what to do.

This was still very much on her mind on the day of her stepmother’s ball.

Eleanor sat with her in the carriage, talking with Nicholas on the way over so Joanna didn’t need to say much. She nodded along and smiled whenever they glanced her way, too nervous to do much else. She was grateful that no one tried to engage her in conversation. She wasn’t sure what she could say.

Even as they stepped into the ballroom, her stepmother had greeted them in the receiving line with a tight smile and hardly a word. The Countess glanced over at Eleanor with disinterest before turning to Nicholas and cooing over him until Joanna felt nauseated.

“Too many people like you.” Eleanor pouted as Nicholas led the two women further into the ballroom. “Your ego is much too large now. Don’t you think, Joanna?”

“Mm. Quite.”

Chuckling, Nicholas shook his head. “People like my title, El, not me. Let that bring you comfort.”

“I suppose I am one of the few people who like you without your title. And Joanna, of course. We’ll accept you,” Eleanor said soberly before smirking. “At least, so long as your ego is left behind.”

He tsked. “I am a package, my dear sister. Don’t you forget it.”

“I shall do my best,” Eleanor agreed before leaning toward Joanna. “I see one of my friends from finishing school. The blonde lady in the pale blue gown. Nicholas?”

“Go on, then. Perhaps Joanna and I can finally enjoy ourselves,” Nicholas added teasingly as he let go of her.

Eleanor stuck out her tongue at him before pushing her way through the growing crowd. The two of them waved to her until she disappeared in the throng.

Although Joanna expected to feel uneasy as she glanced at Nicholas with a shy smile, she only felt a familiar, soft fluttering in her stomach.

“It was kind of you to let her come,” she said.

“Hardly. Some would take her to task for it,” he pointed out. “But I know she will talk with her friends and then disappear into a music room, before she sends a footman to us, begging to go home.”

The thought brought her comfort. “I hope that happens soon.”

“Not too soon,” he countered with a glance around the room before taking her other hand in his. “I believe I have a dance to claim. Two, in fact.”

Her breath caught. “Two?”

One dance between a husband and wife is acceptable, but two is too much.

Already Nicholas had a small pencil in one hand and her dance card in the other. “I should claim three if you will let me.”

Joanna felt her cheeks turning pink. “Don’t you dare. That would be… It wouldn’t… Everyone would…”

Glancing up from her dance card, his brown eyes roamed over her face. Whatever he saw must have been a welcome sight, for his smile widened. It took her breath away. She could hardly blink. She couldn’t even think about moving.

“As well they should. You’re dazzling tonight. Have I told you that? Absolutely dazzling.”

“You go too far,” she murmured, trying to pull herself together. “People are going to stare, Nicholas. There is no need for you to be charming here. Especially to me.”

His eyebrow rose. “Why not? If there’s anyone I should wish to charm…” He dropped her dance card to take her hand and pressed his lips gently to her gloved knuckles. “It shall be you.”

A giggle escaped Joanna’s lips. She swallowed the last of it and gave a slight shake of her head. Something about him made her heart skip a beat. It happened often, not just in moments like this, when he looked at her as if she was the only person in the room.

“Your Grace!”

Nicholas sighed, a hint of annoyance flashing in his eyes before he grudgingly turned around to greet another lord. Though Joanna expected to be excused, she felt him fix her hand on his arm.

He didn’t let go of her after that. They navigated the crowd, greeting person after person. Everyone welcomed her eagerly. It was a dazzling evening of bright candles, merry laughter, and beautiful music.

Joanna even danced with him. His strong arms kept her safe, leading her around the dance floor. Every time he spun her through the next set or passed her to a temporary partner, she felt a deep longing between her ribs that made her reach for him when they next came together. It was at the end of the dance, when she curtsied to him and he smiled, that she finally acknowledged the truth––a truth she had struggled to deny for too long.

How can I love him already? Like this?

There was an inkling of fear and doubt that she quickly banished to the corners of her mind. She wanted this joy, this freedom. Even when she danced in the house she had once called her home, a place she’d hardly been comfortable in for some time, she felt safe enough to laugh. She felt free enough to dance. There was no world outside this one.

There was nothing but her and Nicholas.

“Must you?” He pouted when she caught a loose thread in her dress and said she wished to repair it in the ladies’ retiring room. “I can pull it now.”

“The entire dress could unravel. I could not bear such a thing. It’s a lovely dress,” she reminded him when he looked ready to argue.

He shrugged. “Then I shall replace it with three more. No, four.”

Chuckling, she shook her head. “All I need is a moment alone. Surely you shall survive a moment without me?”

“I wouldn’t want to risk it,” he said, trying to pout again. Or frown.

She couldn’t quite tell because it wasn’t working. There was too much merriment in his eyes.

Joanna shook her head. “I shall return in a moment.”

“I will be counting the time. Two minutes, wife,” he decided.

“At least five,” she protested and hurried out the nearby door before he could argue.

They’d been flirting for half the night. She had never enjoyed herself so much before. It had been so easy to be with him. She knew her heart was lost to the man and there was nothing she could do. Now, she didn’t even care.

Though it was most likely more than five minutes, Joanna still worked quickly to catch the thread and mend a small tear in a quiet corner. It wasn’t terribly long before she made her way back to the large parlor where she had left Nicholas near a refreshments table. Still, it was long enough that he was no longer where she had left him.

She walked slowly around the crowded room in search of him. Nodding and smiling to countless people, she caught snippets of several conversations on her way. Someone was complaining about their maid, another was jealous of someone’s fine diamonds, and a third person was scolding…

Hesitating, Joanna moved closer to the wall. She knew that voice all too well. Usually, she would be on the receiving end of that scolding. But when she looked over to the side door, she found Beatrice scolding a man who wasn’t dressed well enough to be attending such a fine ball.

“I won’t have you in my way,” she heard her stepmother say. “Furthermore?—”

Beatrice stopped to look around. Joanna hastily turned her head and pretended to be interested in an ice display on a table. It was a bird. Possibly a swan or a duck. She couldn’t quite tell. But that hardly mattered.

Curious about what had her stepmother in such a fit during a successful social event, she turned back only to find Beatrice leading the man out through the side door and into a long hall that only a few people used.

Joanna frowned. Her stomach twisted as though it wished to tell her something.

What was going on with her stepmother? This ball was meant to be a special affair for Madeline. Several young bachelors had spoken with her and Nicholas with very inquisitive eyes and meaning behind their words. Did this man have something to do with it?

He couldn’t very well be a prospect. He looks too coarse for Madeline. I see it in his eyes… Beatrice wouldn’t dare marry off her own daughter to someone so cruel, would she?

Compelled to discover the truth, Joanna quickly followed them into the hall while praying she would not be caught.