Page 50 of His Toy

She was safe now. Didn’t she understand that?

“What the fuck were you thinking?” I shouted.

“I—I don’t know, Zaid. I—”

“This is not about tripping and breaking the glasses.” I grabbed her shoulders. “Explain it to me. How you could be so stupid as to risk your life? I told you to be careful. I told you to be on guard. I applaud your desire to fix Lina’s mistake, but you were reckless, Heather, do you understand that?”

She was quiet for a moment, her lips quivering.

“Answer me, Heather,” I said. I tightened my grip on her shoulders. “What were you thinking?”

She studied me, her eyes full of tears. “When I watched him do that—” her voice shook, holding back sobs, “—I watched him do that, Zaid, and all I could think about was my sister. If he had hurt her like that. If Hazel was punished like that poor girl. For stupid mistakes. For any reason. And then I realized that I should’ve been fixing the drinks, because I was representing you, and if I wasn’t perfect, we could lose the negotiation. We could lose everything. And I needed to be better than the others. Because if I wasn’t, how would we get him out of there? How would I be able to trick him? I know it’s wrong, but I had to something or I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from running away.” The sobs broke in her chest. “I didn’t want to fail you, Zaid. But he’s a monster. A fucking monster.”

I grabbed her, pulling her into my arms, and I kissed her. I fucking kissed her. She was afraid and she should have been, and she knew it. She finally understood that she was in deeper trouble than she could’ve possibly imagined. Even in the depths of her nightmares, even as she had seen evil, she had still wanted to perform, to do her best. For her sister. And for me. Her dedication to what it meant to be a slave, to be deep in this mess, to be in ittogether, was endless. She wanted to do right by me, even when fear fucked with her head. But it fucked with all of us. I knew that.

She kissed me back, yielding to my force, and she sunk into my grasp, tears streaming down her face, the mascara running. I kissed her, trying to make her fears disappear, to make her feel safe. Because if I didn’t give her what she needed, it would be for nothing. It was a mistake to kiss her like this, to let this rule slip by, to be affectionate to someone I needed to keep away. But I didn’t care.

She needed this. And I needed it too.