Page 9 of His Sunshine Baby (The Silver City #2)

*2 months later, end of August.*

I slowly wake up, so drowsy it takes me a while to realize where I am. White sheets? I struggle to get up, but there is something. A man’s arm around me? That familiar smell of cologne… Oh shit, did I fall asleep in Nate’s bed? I remember us coming to the suite last night, having sex, then… Oh Moon Goddess, I really fell asleep right after that. I’m such an idiot!

“Nate. Nate, please move. Nate!”

I hear a groan, and I have to struggle a bit more for him to get off me. Seriously! I finally sit up, and reach out to grab my panties, forgotten at one end of the bed. What time is it? Gosh, I hope it’s not late! I can’t find my phone, so I just grab Nathaniel’s to check the time. I sigh. Not even 8:00 a.m. I hear him move around next to me and he finally turns his head.

“Something wrong, Miss Whitewood?” he asks.

His eyes are still closed but there’s a little grin crossing his lips.

“It’s not funny. I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep here.”

He stops smiling and sits up to look at me very seriously.

“It’s not such a big deal.”

“Yes, it is, Nate. We talked about this before, I shouldn’t stay overnight,” I answer while getting dressed.

“Why not? If we set an alarm, you can leave early enough to not miss training or whatever.”

It’s not just about being late; I am growing awfully comfortable with falling asleep with Nate. I don’t like it. I even have a couple of outfits stored here in the suite. The hotel’s staff recognizes me and I have no idea how that happened. The more time we spend together, the more I get attached, and that’s just terrifying.

I turn to him, still dazzlingly naked in bed. So handsome, so early. Nathaniel is frowning, unhappy with my haste.

“I have to go,” I blurt out.

“You know you don’t, Elena. It’s Sunday; you only have brunch with your friend’s family at around 11 a.m.”

Actually, I don’t. I didn’t even tell him today’s brunch with the Lewis family wasn’t happening, and it’s not the first time. I’ve been making excuses to flee lately. Instead of adding to the lies, I just silently put my dress back on, trying to avoid his stare. Where are my shoes now?

“Elena.”

His tone is not a good sign. I want to ignore it, but I just sigh and turn to him. Damn, he is still as handsome as the first night we met. His dark blonde hair, his mesmerizing blue eyes. I still can’t believe I spend three to five nights a week sleeping with this living god.

I thought the passion of our first meetings would somehow calm down after a few weeks, but as of today, it hasn’t. Whenever we meet, it’s always the same sparks, the same hunger for the other’s heat, and our inner wolves craving each other.

But, more than that, we are definitely getting closer. With time, we have now come to share more and more about our own lives. If we meet on a weekday, Nate will let me know how busy his schedule at work was, and I will naturally talk about training or whatever I did that day with Danny. He even helps me prepare for my upcoming classes in September.

We text a lot too. I wasn’t expecting that, but we have gotten very comfortable with sending each other random texts at any time of the day or night. He will let me know when one of his meetings is dragging on and boring him to death, and I complain whenever the kids are acting rudely during training. On nights we can’t see each other, we sometimes discuss what we will do the next time we’re together, like the restaurant Nate wants to take me to or where we should meet.

Unless we don’t have time to meet earlier, we very rarely meet directly at the hotel. Nate likes to invite me for a drink or dinner before, and sometimes we even go dancing together in one of his elite clubs.

It’s a strange routine, like I’ve been experiencing a double life and an even stranger relationship. We are closer than normal friends with benefits, I guess, though we don’t cross that thin line that involves our privacy. He still has no idea about my family situation, and he never talks to me about his brothers' lives or pack matters either. I guess there are some boundaries we tacitly do not cross.

“What?” I ask with a sigh.

He grabs my wrist and gently pulls me back to sit on the bed with him.

“Nate.”

I want to protest, push him away, and get going, but he suddenly starts kissing me. I can’t say no. I’m desperately addicted to this. Nate knows my body and how to caress it by heart. I gasp loudly when he takes off my panties again. Moon Goddess, I wanted to get dressed, not undressed!

“Nate, enough,” I sigh, but I know I’m not convincing at all.

“No. I’m not letting you go yet.”

Of course, he doesn’t listen. He pushes me gently onto the bed, so I’m lying underneath him. I give up and finally answer his kisses. Nate takes my dress off in one movement, bringing me back to square one. But I don’t care, I’m burning up and feverish under his hands. He caresses my body here and there. I gasp and try to hold my voice, but he keeps going, and attacks my neck with more kisses and bites.

“Don’t. I want to hear your voice, Elena.”

I try to hold on some more, but his fingers finally make me cry out in pleasure. He’s being a little forceful, a bit controlling, and I like it. Submitting to Nate’s lead is easy, like submerging myself in fresh water. I don’t have to do anything but let myself go, abandon my restraints. When he positions himself and joins me, I’m already on edge. But he is the one to decide, and I’m not allowed to come yet. He starts moving, without holding back. I’m pinned to the bed and totally helpless, only responding to his speed and strength with my embarrassing voice.

About two hours later, I’m finally on my way home, a bit more tired than I was earlier. He really never gets enough. I sigh and take out my keys. However, when I get to my apartment and open the door, I’m suddenly faced with Boyan, standing fully naked in the middle of our living room.

“Hi.”

“Hi...”

Moon Goddess, this is so awkward.

“Boyan, dammit, your clothes!”

Danny’s panicked voice came from the kitchen. I do my best to look away while Bobo shape-shifts and my bestie runs in to scold him. I notice Daniel is only wearing his pajama bottoms.

“Daniel, I really don’t mind naked men at our place, but I would appreciate it if you could keep it to your bedroom,” I sigh.

“Sorry, babe, sorry!” he sighs with a cute pout.

I laugh a bit. I don’t really mind, I’ve seen naked men before. It’s just funny to annoy my ever-so-prudish Danny about it. We stay silent for a while. I take off my jacket and heels, and Danny brings me some hot coffee. Outside, a slow summer drizzle starts falling.

“How was it?” asks Daniel.

“Still as incredibly awesome as ever,” I sigh.

“You don’t seem too happy about it.”

He’s right. I like those moments with Nate, but the more I see him, the more scared I get. I’m afraid of what’s to come, of the two of us betraying our promise to one another. It’s not only me; I’m aware that he doesn’t act simply as friends with benefits either. I don’t know what the exact rules are for these kinds of relationships, but I can tell Nate is going a bit overboard sometimes; it’s in the way we talk and how we interact.

And it terrifies me.

“Babe, talk to me,” says Danny.

“I’m fine. Things are fine with Nate.”

But he doesn’t believe me. After a second of hesitating, he finally speaks.

“Elena, I need to know if this is about Black, or…”

“Or what?”

He bites his lip, the same way I do when I am unsure what to say.

“Elena, I know the date is approaching.”

Shit, I didn’t want to think about that. The mere thought that my ex might come back is enough to drive me nuts. I don’t want to think about it. I put my cup down angrily and shake my head.

“Danny, please, don’t. I’m over it.”

“Elena, I don’t think you are. We need a real talk.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Babe.”

“Seriously, Danny, I can’t! Enough… I’m going to take a shower now.”

I’m sorry I yelled at him, but I just can’t. I get up and run to my room, closing the door a bit more violently than I intended to. Moon Goddess, I didn’t want to think about it. I wanted to forget and pretend it wouldn’t possibly happen.

This is driving me mad. I was feeling so good just a while ago in Nate’s arms, and now I’m back to thinking about my ex again. Why do I have to feel so helpless? I don’t want to fall in love again, and I don’t want to reminisce about what happened five years ago either!

Still upset, I grab whatever clothes I can find and hurry into the shower to avoid Daniel. I can hear him talking to Bobo outside, but I don’t listen and focus on the hot water. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it. This is over and he is not coming back.

About fifteen minutes later, I’m getting dressed in a tank top and denim overalls when I hear a soft knocking on my door.

“Babe. It’s not about your ex but I need to talk to you about something else. Can you come out? Please? I’m sorry, okay? I promise I won’t talk about that matter again.”

I sigh. It’s not like I can ever stay mad at Danny long anyway.

When I walk out of the bathroom, Danny is waiting for me, with a very sorry look on his face. I feel like I’m about to abandon a puppy.

“Alright, what is it?” I ask with a sigh.

“Come here.”

He takes my hand and pulls me to the couch so we can sit down. To my surprise, he takes out his phone, looking for something.

“So, you know how my brother often comes late to the Main House to give his report about the patrol to the Alpha? Well, when he came back last night, Levi heard the Alpha talking with Reagan. They were talking about you. Listen.”

What is this about? He plays an audio file, and after a few seconds of silence, I suddenly hear muffled voices. Someone manipulates the phone until we can actually hear properly. I instantly recognize my Alpha’s voice.

“… won’t be able to protect her, Reagan. I have to make a choice, and she won’t understand unless we tell her the truth.”

“I already said no, Clark!”

My mentor’s angry voice surprises me. I knew Reagan had no problem arguing with the Alpha, but…

“You shouldn’t have let her meet with the Blood Moon pack to begin with. I told you, Elena’s existence must stay as concealed as possible!”

“She will be twenty-one soon, Reagan! I can’t always control what she does! You know how stubborn Elena is. She is strong; if she wants to know the truth...”

“The truth is dangerous,” replies Reagan. “She is not ready for it, no one is. Making Elena one of your heirs was stupid to begin with.”

“I did it to protect her. Moreover, you know very well she has every right to be. And without Samuel around—”

“You’re a bunch of idiots. You and Sam. You think this is just about the White Moon? Did you really forget where that child came from? She is the only survivor, Clark! If they find out she is alive…”

I exchange a shocked look with Daniel. What the hell? Only survivor? What is Reagan talking about? I thought I was found in a forest! I’m barely breathing, trembling while waiting on every word. Who is the “they” she is talking about?

A long silence follows, but when I’m about to say something, Daniel signals for me to stay quiet. Just then, I hear Clark’s voice again.

“You had said she might not be the only one.”

“I only said there was a possibility. When I got there, the other child was missing. I have no idea how she could have survived, if she did. Moon Goddess bless her, but I already have my hands full with protecting Elena.”

“Reagan, I still think we should talk to her. Elena is—”

A furious growling interrupts him, and I jump in surprise from hearing so much anger. Moon Goddess, is Reagan actually growling at the Alpha?

“Listen to me very carefully, Clark. If you say one word to Elena, I swear you’ll regret it. I don’t care about Samuel or your pack issues. Nothing matters more than her safety. I made an oath. I took that girl from her dying mother’s arms, and I swore to her, and the Moon Goddess, that I would protect her child, even if it’s the last thing I do!”

What? She swore to… my mother? I wait for more, holding my breath in anticipation, but the recording ends. Danny is staring at me with worried eyes.

“Babe, are you okay?”

I’m speechless. What the hell was that? Reagan said so many shocking things that I feel like a bomb was just dropped on me. I finally find my voice only to urge Danny to play it again. This time, I take the phone to hold it close while he gets up and makes us some coffee. He probably listened to it several times too.

When the recording ends the second time, I stay stunned, my mind overwhelmed with so many thoughts. I don’t even know where to start! Danny comes back to sit next to me, carrying two large cups of coffee.

“I called Levi right away last night. Apparently, they heard him and he couldn’t learn anything more.”

“Danny, all this is…”

“I know babe, it’s a lot.”

“Reagan knows my birth mother!”

This is what I’m the most surprised about. She knew! She knew all this time who my mother was and she never said a word about it! Why couldn’t she tell me the slightest thing about my real mother? I stand up. I need to talk to her! But before I can take a step, Daniel grabs my wrist and pulls me back onto the couch.

“Hold your horses, babe. I know what you’re thinking, but that stubborn old hag won’t say a word. Even Clark can’t win an argument against her!”

“She has to! Danny, now I know that—!”

“Now you know more than you’re supposed to, babe. Elena, think about it. Reagan never, ever agreed to tell you a word about your origins. If you go there and blurt out that you know a bit, how do you think she will react? She will kick your ass and still not say a word!”

Damn, Daniel is right. Worst case scenario, Reagan might even leave Silver City for several months again. When my mentor disappears, there is no guarantee that she will ever come back, and that would only lower my chances to know the truth.

“I know what she said about your birth mother is big news, but did you listen to the rest?”

“Yeah, she said I had survived something.”

“I think she was talking about your family, or maybe even your whole pack. More importantly, Elena, whatever killed them might come after you. It has to be serious, babe, if Reagan is this worried…”

Daniel looks very worried, but I am not. I don’t feel like any of this is real. Whatever the whole thing about surviving is, it is nothing compared to learning the slightest thing about my birth mother. Reagan said she died with me in her arms. Why can’t I remember any of it? How old was I really? Reagan always said she found me when I was very young, but could she have lied about that too? Why?

“You know, I always felt there was something odd about my memories. I can’t remember anything before my fifth birthday.”

“Most people don’t remember their early years.”

“But you remember your mom being pregnant with the twins, or when Levi broke his arm. You were only two or three years old, Danny. I don’t remember anything at all, not the slightest memory.”

He nods with a sigh.

“I know. I don’t see how Reagan could be responsible for you losing your memories. Maybe you have some sort of trauma or something.”

I wish I knew. But it’s a black hole whenever I try to remember anything before my fifth birthday with my adoptive parents. I finally grab that cup of coffee and let out a deep sigh.

“I’m just so tired of all the mysteries, Danny, even if Reagan is trying to protect me from who knows what. This is just a whole mess in my head.”

“I understand babe. But I don’t think there’s anything more we can do for now. Do you wanna search the forest again?”

I shake my head. I already know it’s no use, though I appreciate Danny’s efforts to comfort me. We searched that forest a thousand times already, and I feel like the answer isn’t there anyway. Daniel gets up again to put some music on and prepare brunch, but I stay seated, thinking.

What about that other child she mentioned? Is she from my pack too? Why didn’t Reagan know about her situation? And what would have caused my family to die? Something attacked them and might come after me at any moment... What sort of threat could that be? Werewolves have so many enemies: vampires, witches, and even humans… Another pack of werewolves could have been involved. If only Reagan would finally talk. How is not saying anything protecting me? From her conversation with Clark, it even seems as though she is against me taking the position of Alpha. Why is she so insistent on concealing my existence? Is the threat really that serious that I could be hunted all the way here? Is that why she trained me since I was young?

While I’m lost in my thoughts, my phone suddenly vibrates. A text from Nate.

Elena, sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to upset you. You can stay over if you want, but I won’t force you.

I can’t help but smile. He’s as understanding as ever. He never forces me into anything anyway. I think long and hard before answering.

It’s okay. Sorry, I lost my cool.

Any plans tonight?

I could use a change of scenery.

I’ll be at this address from 6 p.m. onwards. Meet me whenever you want.

It’s a location I don’t know, on the outskirts of their territory. He sometimes surprises me like this, and it’s nice. I already feel a lot better knowing that I’ll see Nate later.

Danny brings two vegetarian omelets with potatoes and a new serving of coffee.

“Where is Bobo, by the way?” I ask when he sits down.

“He left. I told him I needed a private talk with my favorite girl, and anyway, he’s busy with his pack these days, he can’t stay too long.”

“Something going on?”

Daniel grabs the TV remote and nods.

“More or less. They are still looking for that girl, remember? The one your man asked Clark about?”

“He is not my man,” I automatically reply with an annoyed growl.

“Anyway, it seems like they are still actively looking for her, whoever she is. The King is crazy obsessed about that these days. They have been visiting more packs.”

Nathaniel didn’t mention anything. He never talks to me about his brothers, either. But I know when he sometimes has to leave abruptly, it’s because of one of them. The younger one seems to be a bit of a runaway kid, going off the grid from time to time. The King, however, seems to have another kind of problem. I never see Nate as worried as when he has to go back to see his older brother. He never tells me why, though.

Daniel puts on some TV show he’s been watching, but I’m not very into it. Instead, I grab some of my study books to get back on track before I resume classes in a couple of weeks. It’s not thrilling, but I just want to stop thinking about those other annoying matters: the mystery around my birth, my asshole ex-boyfriend, and my relationship with Nate. Each and every one of these matters is giving me a headache.

Cold stone, and people screaming. A warm embrace is protecting me, and someone is whispering a prayer. I’m so cold… I want to cry, but somebody’s rocking my tiny body, trying to keep me quiet. A warm man’s voice says everything will be alright, he will protect us. He loves us. A woman weeps quietly next to my ear. She doesn’t want him to go, but there is no choice.

We are left alone. It’s suddenly quiet, and very scary. I’m so scared, I’m shaking. A cold voice is talking, but they can’t find us. The gentle voice is whispering again. They don’t know our secret, it will keep us safe. A violent light appears!

“Elena! Elena, babe! Wake up, babe!”

I finally open my eyes, out of breath. I’m trembling all over, and it takes me a few seconds to recognize Daniel, holding my wrists with panicked eyes.

“Are you okay, babe? Moon Goddess, you scared me!”

“Da… Danny? What happened?”

“I don’t know, I think you were panicking. You were crying and shivering. Did you have a nightmare?”

A nightmare? Now that he says it… Something vague is floating in my mind, but I can’t remember exactly. What was that about? That dream felt so familiar… and I’m feeling terribly cold and lonely. I grab the blanket laying at one end of the couch and wrap myself in it, under Danny’s worried eyes.

“You’re cold?” he asks.

He puts a hand on my forehead to check my temperature, frowning.

“How rare… You’re never cold, usually. Do you want me to get you some medicine?”

“No, never mind Danny. My period might be coming, that’s probably the reason. You know I always get unwell before that.”

“What?”

He gets up to check on our calendar hanging in the kitchen, but it’s no use, my period is so irregular and unpredictable, any attempt at tracking it has been useless so far. Daniel comes back, looking upset.

“It’s been a while… Shit, and I’ll be away at that seminar next week too!”

“Seriously, Danny, it’s okay. I’ll just wait for it to pass.”

I grab my phone and text Nate that I can’t come tonight. I don’t give him any details, and just say that something came up. As usual, he doesn’t ask for any more details. Daniel, however, is watching me with his worried expression.

“I don’t want to leave you alone when you are like this.”

“Danny, I’m going to be fine, stop being such a worrywart. I’ll just text Eric to ask him to take over the training for now and stay home until I’m better.”

That doesn’t take the worried look off his face. I know why he’s so worried about me, but I shake my head.

“Danny, I…”

“You should see someone, Elena, to check.”

“Daniel, stop it. I’m over what happened back then, okay?”

“Then why are you so afraid to check if you can still have children or not?”

I glare at him.

“We are not talking about it, Danny. I don’t want kids anyway.”

He sighs.

“Alright… Sorry babe. I’ll go check what we have in the medicine cabinet, okay?”

Daniel leaves the room, and a heavy silence falls. I’m so tired… Is it because of the rain or my nightmare? I’m feeling so gloomy suddenly; I’m almost regretting canceling on Nate tonight.

I close my eyes, trying to chase the darkness away.

I’m sorry Angel, but I don’t want to think about you right now, it’s still too painful…