Page 10 of His Sunshine Baby (The Silver City #2)

No wonder I felt like crap: my period is hitting me full-on. Damn you, Mother Nature… I groan all the way from the bathroom back to the couch, and miserably let myself fall there. That explains the nightmares and all… I notice a missed text on my phone and check the notification. Shit, it’s Nate… He probably wants the usual since it’s been a few days, but today’s just not the day. I send a quick reply, letting him know I’m not well. That should be enough of an explanation… I put my phone aside to curl up on that stupid couch and ruminate about my female condition, but my phone vibrates again just a minute later. Nate again, asking if I’m sick. Ugh, get a clue please… I don’t want to give him the details, but he sounds worried and it’s making me feel worse about turning him down.

Just as I’m still wondering how to politely answer, the phone rings; he’s calling.

“What?” I groan.

“Hi. Sorry, I was just… Are you sick?”

“No, I’m not.”

“… Are you mad at me for some reason?”

Of course he’d think that, I must sound like a bear disturbed during its hibernation…

“Why would I be mad at you, Nate?” I sigh. “I’m just having a shitty day. I’m tired, and Mother Nature is reminding me of my female condition with these damn cramps!”

He doesn’t answer that… I bet he hadn’t thought about me possibly having my period at all. Did he really think I was mad at him? Shit.

“Sorry you thought I was mad at you or something. It’s just that it’s been a while and I have very nasty ones. I’ll be better in a couple of days, okay?”

“… Is it that bad?”

“Seriously, Nate, I’m not discussing my period with you!”

He chuckles, but it’s really not funny. I’m dying here and I hate having to even talk about it.

“Alright, alright… Do you need anything?”

“Unless you have some miracle solution to make time pass faster, no. Danny is away at that stupid seminar anyway so I’m just going to wait at home for it to be over.”

“Okay. Call me if you need something, alright?”

Shit, he’s cute, worrying about me and all… And here I am, almost growling over the phone.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll text you later.”

“Bye.”

I may have hung up a bit too abruptly… I look at my phone, but Nate doesn’t send anything after that. Moon Goddess, I feel like crap. I barely slept last night and today, the pain is killing me. I have no energy and I’ve been glued to the couch all day. I don’t even feel like getting up to eat or to change my clothes.

Moreover, it’s dark and pouring outside, as if the day needed to be any gloomier. I don’t know what time it is and I don’t care. I’m just dozing off and waiting for my hellish period to be over with...

I wake up to faint knocking at the door. What the…? I don’t even remember falling asleep, but there’s still a downpour outside. Who would possibly come in this weather? They’re knocking again. Damn… I get up, only grabbing my kimono to cover myself a bit. It’s probably only one of the neighbors anyway.

However, when I finally open the door, I’m shocked to see Nate standing there. Moon Goddess! What the hell? His hair is dripping wet, and he is carrying a backpack and his helmet.

“Nate? What… What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. Can I come in?”

I grab his wrist and quickly pull him inside. I can’t believe his nerve!

“You shouldn’t be here! Are you crazy? This is the White Moon territory!” I whisper-yell while closing the door.

“Calm down, no one could have possibly seen or smelled me with this rain. You also don’t live that far from the border anyway.”

“Still! If anyone had seen you…”

“You would know already, Elena. Calm down.”

Moon Goddess, how could he be so reckless… I stare at him, still in shock, and suddenly realize what I must look like. An unsexy mess! I undo my stupid bun and push my hair back, embarrassed. I haven’t even taken a shower!

“How are you feeling?”

Nate’s gentleness surprises me. He puts his backpack down on the table, and I wonder what is inside. I’ve never seen him with a bag. He’s not wearing a suit today either, just a plain T-shirt and a worn-out pair of jeans, which is quite unusual for him on a weekday. And he’s awfully sexy with those wet clothes… I try to organize my thoughts a bit better than that.

“Not the best,” I admit.

He just nods while putting his motorcycle helmet in a corner. Damn, and the place is so messy too… I’ve been too tired to get any cleaning done since Danny left, and my things are all over the place. There are dirty dishes in the sink, a few clothes lying around, and even my study notes I had been meaning to organize are scattered on the table. I would have at least tried to hide the mess if I knew he was coming!

“Nate, what are you doing here?”

“I came for you. I was worried.”

He was worried about me? But he already called… I don’t even know how to answer that. Nathaniel is disarming me with that honesty of his. But he is acting like usual, looking around and curious about my place.

“Sorry I… I haven’t done any cleaning lately,” I sigh with embarrassment while trying to gather the clothes.

“Elena, stop, stop.”

He takes them out of my hands, and brings me back to the couch, making me sit. I’m so confused, but he just kneels down to my height and smiles gently. Why is he acting like this? This is so troubling! He puts a hand on my forehead, frowning.

“You’re feverish… Do you have any medicine here?”

I push his hand away, ignoring his question to address him very seriously.

“Nate, what are you doing?”

He sighs and takes my hand. Again…

“I told you, I was worried. I came to look after you, alright? You didn’t sound good over the phone, and I didn’t feel good about leaving you alone when you’re like this.”

“Nate, you don’t have to take care of me! This is not what we agreed on…”

Nathaniel rolls his eyes, annoyed at me.

“Elena, stop being so stubborn for once. I came as a friend because I was worried about my friend, all right? ‘Friends with benefits’ implies some friendship too. Daniel was also worried, so he gave me your address.”

“What? You even called Danny?”

“Yes, Boyan gave me his number a while ago.”

I’m going to kill Daniel. And Boyan too. Those traitors! Without anything left to protest, I watch Nate take some stuff out of his backpack. Why the hell is he carrying shredded cheese and tomato sauce… He takes it to the kitchen and comes back with a mug full of hot water.

I’m about to protest that I don’t drink tea until I recognize the characteristic smell of my favorite flavor. How did he know that lemon tea is the only one I like? Without saying anything, he hands it to me, and leaves the room again, headed for the bathroom this time. When he comes back, he is frowning, holding two boxes.

“Is this one alright for a fever? The other is past its expiration date.”

“Yeah…”

He hands me the right box and simply throws the other away before my shocked eyes. He is acting so naturally, and I’m just speechless! He heads off to the kitchen again, and I grab my phone. I send a very rude text to Danny. I need to unleash on someone. But against my expectations, he doesn’t read it right away like usual. Oh, right, that stupid seminar! Right as I’m swearing silently, Nathaniel comes back.

“Elena, did you take it?” he asks, pointing at the medicine.

“Uh, no, not yet.”

“Well take it now so you can sleep a bit before dinner.”

“Nate, how am I supposed to sleep with you here!”

“It’s not like I’m going to attack you!” he replies with a laugh.

“You know what I mean!”

“Seriously, Elena, you’re making a fuss for nothing. So just take that damn pill and sleep!”

I want to protest again, but he hands me the mug and the pill first. That stubborn man… I swallow it with a frown. I can’t believe this man’s nerve.

“I am not sleeping.”

“Well, you can watch TV then.”

Ignoring my grouchy face, he turns the TV on to some stupid show, before leaving the room again. Why the hell is he going to the kitchen?

“Nate, what are you doing?” I ask, exasperated.

“Just making myself a coffee.”

I don’t believe him. I can hear him rummaging through the fridge and using the sink. What is he doing? I want to check, but I’m too tired to move. That idiot…

I slowly wake up, feeling drowsy. I’m still on the couch… but someone covered me with another thicker blanket. The TV is turned off, and gentle music is echoing through the stereo. I recognize an old jazz classic. Something feels different. I move my head a bit and notice someone cleaned up the mess from earlier. No clothes lying around, and my papers are stacked more orderly on the table. The whole room seems a lot brighter now.

I finally see Nate, actually sitting right beside me but on the carpet, his back resting against the couch. He is working on his laptop, but notices that I’m awake right away. He gives me his gentle smile.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Better… Did I sleep long?”

“Only about an hour or so.”

It felt longer than that… The medicine totally knocked me out. I sigh and sit up, keeping the blanket wrapped around me. I feel bad, but not because of my period this time. My crappy attitude with Nate earlier wasn’t right at all.

“Sorry about earlier.”

He shakes his head.

“It’s fine. I was prepared for a lot worse, considering what you’re going through.”

“Still…”

But Nate leans over to kiss my forehead, putting me at a loss for words. Why does he have to be so painfully gentle…?

“Don’t worry. Do you want to sleep more? You still look tired.”

“No… I need to go to the bathroom. And I want to change too, I’m all sweaty.”

“Okay.”

I get up and walk to my room, going through my wardrobe to find something comfortable to wear. After hesitating a few seconds, I pick an oversized top and some cotton leggings. It’s not like Nate cares much about what I’m wearing at this point… I also take a few minutes to brush my hair and put it in a proper bun. At least I look a bit better now, despite the eye bags and sickly complexion.

However, when I go back to the bathroom, I’m surprised to see Nate there.

“You prepared me a bath?”

The hot water is still running, but the bathtub is almost full. I can’t believe him. Nate turns it off and nods.

“Yeah, I read that it was good for you. You don’t want it?”

“No, it’s great actually... thanks.”

I just don’t know how to react! I never imagined Nate would be so… thoughtful and considerate! But again, he just smiles as if it was perfectly normal.

“Good! Take your time then.”

And with that, he leaves me alone in the bathroom. I swear, that man has to be from another planet. There’s no other explanation. Honestly, I don’t care anymore at this point. I get naked and step in with delight. Moon Goddess, it’s so hot and good… I haven’t taken a bath in ages, I’m usually too impatient or in too much of a hurry. I stay there a while, thinking about Nate’s behavior. Why is he acting like this? It’s not that he has never been gentle before, but for him to be this considerate… I’m a bit lost. How should I react? It doesn’t feel right, but it’s agreeable. Should I just treat it as a friendly attitude, like he said?

When I finally get out of the bath, feeling a lot better, I quickly put on the outfit I picked and go back to the living room.

I’m feeling a bit shy towards Nate. We are alone at my place, I’m not dressed with any effort, and he basically came here despite the shitty weather just to take care of me. As a friend, he said.

When I step into my living room, my heart feels a bit heavier than usual. Outside the window, the sky is clouded in a dark gray, with the rain still falling heavily. But in the middle of the room, Nate turned on our string of light bulbs and is on his computer again. Did him coming here cause trouble for his work? However, upon seeing me enter, he immediately turns it off and gets up.

“Hey, how was the bath? Just wait a sec.”

He goes to the kitchen, and when he comes back, I’m speechless. He is carrying a plate with a freaking pizza on it! I’m so shocked I can only try to hide my embarrassed laugh behind my hand.

“Moon Goddess, you made me a pizza?”

“Well, to be honest, I had the dough done at the Italian restaurant, and only gathered the ingredients here to cook it.”

“You made a freaking pizza!”

I can’t believe it! It looks all hot and fresh out of the oven too. He laughs at my shocked expression and puts it down. I look at that pizza again. Mushrooms, onions, chicken, peppers… All my favorites!

“Danny told you?”

He nods.

“I had no idea you could crave stuff like pizzas on your periods.”

“Yeah, it’s one of the only things I can swallow.”

Actually, I’m barely resisting the temptation of jumping on that pizza right now. But the thing is, what I want to jump most isn’t the pizza. I’m still dumbfounded by Nate’s attitude. All of this is so new and, well, unsettling. A part of me is overwhelmed by his gentleness, and the other part is scared. What is this all supposed to mean? How can I not melt when he does stuff like that?

But how can I tell him? Hey, could you stop being so nice and gentlemanly because I’m freaking out about my feelings for you? Damn, this man is killing me in the softest way possible, and he has no idea. I stare at him for a few seconds, with my heart on the edge of my lips. I can’t resist.

I take a few steps and grab his face to kiss him passionately. I don’t want to stop. I love the taste of our kisses, how we take it slow but deep. The way Nate always caresses my skin, my hair. He makes me feel different, like something is blooming inside. Something so fragile I had kept it hidden until now. It’s a warm and cozy feeling, yet it makes me feel like I’m on the edge. On the edge of a precipice.

I interrupt our kisses, and our eyes meet dangerously close. I can still feel his lingering taste on my lips. This is scary. A part of my heart that I had kept in ice is warming up and I can’t control it. It's scary.

I want to step back, regain my senses, but Nate suddenly grabs my waist, pulling me against him, and kisses me again, more forcefully this time. He doesn’t want to stop. His tongue is insistent against mine, and his lips won’t let me get away. One of his hands is on my ass, fondling me over the thin layer of my leggings, keeping me close. He grabs my hair, just like when he does when he’s entranced…

Inevitably, I answer his kiss, completely surrendering to him. Before I know it, he is sitting on the couch with me on top of him, my hands on his shoulders. Moon Goddess, this is so perfect… The uncommon lighting of the rain and the slow jazz music make it more romantic than usual. It’s endless, sweet, and delightful. Nate’s hands are on me, caressing me, breaking down my barriers one by one. How do I resist this? I just want to get lost in this moment, forget everything else, and kiss him forever. It’s not about the sex, it’s about us, about the man who has been driving me crazy, and making me lower my defenses day after day. I feel good when I’m with Nate. I feel safe, confident, happy.

“Elena?”

He stares at me, a bit confused. I’m shaking.

Damn, I can’t control it. I get off his lap, trying to calm down. Nathaniel looks worried, he grabs the blanket to cover me with it and waits, rubbing my arms gently.

“Are you okay?”

Stop being so nice and gentle. You make me crazy.

I nod, catching my breath.

“Sorry… Just give me a minute.”

“Okay.”

He gets up to fill my cup of lemon tea again, and I sigh. I’m slowly calming down. What a mess… When he comes back, I’m breathing a bit better. I take the cup to drink a bit, and Nate waits patiently for me, sitting close.

“… Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, but… Elena, what was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? That looked like a small panic attack to me. Did I do this?”

“What? No! It was not a panic attack, Nate.”

“Then what was it?”

I sigh and shake my head. Why does he have to be so curious now?

“I was just a bit overwhelmed for a second. I don’t… I’m not used to these kinds of things anymore.”

He frowns.

“Kissing? I’m pretty sure we do that quite often.”

“No, silly. Being so… cared for. I mean, I have Danny, but he’s family to me. But you… You fucking scare me, Nate. I don’t get why you’re so nice, so caring. Even as friends with benefits, you disarm me in a way that’s past what I can handle.”

“What does that mean? I can’t be nice to you?”

“This isn’t about being nice, Nate! You’re not just being nice, you… you show me you care for me, and…”

“Why is my caring for you so frightening?” he interrupts me. “Yes, I like you a lot, and yes, maybe I overstepped a bit by coming here, but you don’t have to back away or freak out because of that, Elena. I’m just doing what I want. I’m not going to lie, and I’m selfish as fuck. If I want to come here and be with you, I’ll do it.”

I shake my head again. Without me even noticing, he took my hand, and he’s rubbing it gently with his thumb.

“Nate, I can’t. I can’t be selfish like you, and I can’t act as I please. I am so fucking scared of repeating my past mistakes… I don’t want to be hurt. I don’t want to go through what I went through again.”

“Elena, look at me.”

He gently raises my chin to have me look at him, his face dangerously close.

“First, I am not going to hurt you, ever. I’ll play by your rules and respect your wishes. If you tell me to come, I’ll come. If you ask me to back off, I will. I won’t be a mistake, or whatever asshole you’re thinking about. This is different. I won’t be your boyfriend, or marry you, or give you children. I am not that type of man, so you can relax. Take it easy.”

I slowly take in his words. He is right. From the start, I knew what this was going to be: a relationship without any promises nor commitment, only that one rule to not fall in love with the other. I don’t know if I should be relieved or just sad. I just find it… hard, and straining. I just have to keep my feelings for Nate in check.

I nod, helpless. What can I say? I’m an emotional mess, maybe because of my period. But he smiles gently.

“Really not your day today, hm?”

I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. He’s probably right. I just needed something to whine about, and some comfort. Nate rubs my back and hugs me, and for a few minutes, we stay like this, with him gently caressing my hair.

“… Do you like cold pizza?”

I chuckle. That idiot. When I lift my head up again, I’m feeling a lot better. Pouring my heart out to Nate a little has done me some good. He gives me a quick kiss on my forehead, and it feels like everything is fine.

Alright, time to eat that pizza.

We share it, critiquing it like we are culinary experts. Well, Nate plays the part better than I do; I’m just stuffing my face. But Moon Goddess, that pizza asked for it, it’s delicious! I gulp it down, slice after slice, barely leaving any for him.

“The baby dinosaur is back!” he laughs at me.

“Shut up, I haven’t eaten in almost two days.”

“What?”

“Well, Danny is away and I hate cooking, so…”

He rolls his eyes.

“I’m pretty sure I saw a microwave and a freezer in that kitchen, Elena. Even you should be able to use those.”

“Well, I usually do, but my cramps were killing me.”

He sighs.

“I can’t believe you.”

“Stop making fun of my poor culinary skills.”

“Non-existent, you mean.”

I growl at him, a bit annoyed. He is having way too much fun mocking me. I grab another slice of my delicious pizza. Damn, even this cheese is so much better than the one I usually buy! I can’t stop eating, but I don’t care. My cramps have reduced, and my stomach is very demanding.

“Alright, tell me how you got so good at this. Even chores, you cleaned the whole place in only one hour!”

Which is both annoying and embarrassing, if I am honest. Nathaniel shrugs and grabs his coffee, leaning back on the couch. I put my feet on his lap, ready to listen.

“I used to do the chores for my brothers when we were younger. Our dad was good for nothing at home, leaving us on our own. Damian worked himself to the bone, and Liam was too young, so I started doing most of the chores naturally when our mother fell ill. It was my way of helping Damian, and I liked it. It kept me from thinking of the most annoying things or worrying. I just had to focus on cleaning, washing, etc. It was simple, and I liked cooking from the start anyway. My mom used to teach me when I was a kid. She loved it, especially with her French roots.”

“You have French roots?”

Now that I think about it, I did notice he had no problem pronouncing some of those fancy words off menus. He nods.

“From Mom, yeah. She was born and raised in the south of France before she came here to study. She taught us.”

“So, do you speak French?”

“ évidemment.”

I smile, amused. Damn, he even speaks French, that is so damn sexy. I look around, wondering what I can ask.

“Alright, teach me some French! I mean, I know the basics, bonjour, merci, bon appetit.”

“That’s a good start, Mademoiselle Whitewood.”

“How do you say I’m hungry?”

“J’ai faim.”

“I want to eat some pizza?”

“Je veux manger de la pizza.”

I chuckle, amused. I’m pretty sure I won’t remember any of this, but hearing Nate speak French is so damn cute! I look around, and my eyes end up on my slice.

“How do you say chicken?”

“Poulet.”

“Mushrooms?”

“Champignons.”

“Cham…Champignons? That one is funny! Cheese is fromage , right?”

I remember that from one of his restaurant’s menus. He nods, amused to see me so excited.

“How do you say moon?” I ask.

“ La lune .”

“I like that.”

“Sun is soleil , and stars are called étoiles ,” he continues.

I like that one too. Alright, maybe I’ll try to remember some of those. Nathaniel drinks a new cup of coffee.

“What about you?”

“I just know a bit of Spanish. And Danny likes K-pop and cheesy Korean series, so I know a couple of words too.”

“K-pop?” he says, frowning.

“Probably not your style, Mr. Black!”

I grab my phone and connect it to the speakers, looking for one song. Nate frowns when some really girly and bubbly song suddenly comes on. His reaction is so funny I laugh a bit. I decide to spare his poor ears and put on a more soothing one.

“I like this one on rainy days,” I explain.

“… I like it too. Better than the previous one, that’s for sure. What’s it called?”

“‘ You, Clouds, Rain’ by Heize.”

He nods and we listen to the piano and the singer’s voice for a while. Nathaniel seems to really like it. I see him check something on his phone.

“Oh… I didn’t expect the lyrics to be so sad.”

“Really? I think Danny told me it was about love.”

“More like a break-up,” says Nate. “‘For the first time in a while, I thought about you today. I deliberately look for a song we listened to together. My heart says it’s okay to be sad or depressed today. It doesn’t matter anyway when this night is over. I’ll forget you again and live like that for a while, and you’ll only live on in my heart.’”

I listen to him reading the translated lyrics, and I must agree. Quite sad, and a bit melancholic too. He gets absorbed in reading for a while until I decide to interrupt him.

“You’ve had one? A sad break-up like this?” I ask.

I don’t know where I got the courage to ask that question, I just blurted it out. Because I wanted to know. He never really gave me a reason for his “no love” rule…

“More like a heartbreak. My first love, I was only seventeen. She was a few years older.”

“Like your teacher or something?”

“No, my fated mate.”

I almost drop my cup. I feel my heart tighten, and my breathing stops for a couple of seconds. His fated mate. So, Nate had a fated mate. A real one. That sentence alone is kind of hard to swallow. Something inside me resonates a bit.

Finding our fated mate is like a one in a thousand, no, maybe even a one in a million chance. Most werewolves can only dream about it, and a lot of us spend our whole lives looking for it, hoping to find that one person to spend our life with. We are told, while still pups, that our fated mate is someone the Moon Goddess chooses for us, that one individual who is our complete match. A singular connection that can’t be misunderstood. The few fated mate couples I know are perfect for each other. Couples that can fight like any other sometimes but feel like two pieces of the same mold. I dreamt of it too, like everyone.

But I never thought that Nate would have found his, and lost her.

I feel a bit uneasy, now, asking about this. Isn’t it awkward? But Nate keeps talking without warning.

“It’s an old story, Elena. She was older, and already engaged to someone else. She recognized our bond, of course, but she wasn’t really interested. Her husband-to-be was loaded, and I was just a nobody, with a crazy Alpha father, a complicated life, and two siblings to watch over.”

“You mean she rejected you?”

“Yes,” he nods.

I can’t believe it. Who would be stupid enough to reject their fated mate? And someone like Nathaniel, to boot!

“Seriously?” I yell, annoyed. “She rejected her own fated mate? Who would be selfish enough to value money or whatever over that?”

“Elena, calm down. She had valid reasons, to be honest, and I don’t blame her.”

I’m so angry for him! How can he be so calm about this? I hate that woman to the core already. Am I blinded by something else? Probably, but you won’t hear me say it, no way. I can’t believe someone would willingly reject their own fated mate, it’s like our most sacred bond after the one we have with the Moon Goddess!

“Is she still here?” I ask a bit abruptly.

Nate seems surprised by my question.

“No, not that I know of. My brother banished her from our territories. I have no idea where she is nowadays. Last time I saw her, it was years ago, after we took over the Blood Moon clan.”

I clench my fist. Moon Goddess, if I meet that woman, I have no idea what I’ll do to her. How could she reject Nate?

“Hey, Elena.”

I turn to him, unable to hide my anger. He sighs.

“Stop with that grumpy face. I told you, it’s history.”

“Is it because of her? Your ‘no love’ rule?”

He hesitates for a second before he answers.

“Mostly, yes. But not only…”

I growl, still annoyed. And I’m even more annoyed that he seems forgiving of that woman.

“Elena, don’t sulk.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“Yes, you are.”

I sigh. He’s right, I really need to work on controlling my emotions a bit more… I’m so petty sometimes, I have to admit. I roll my eyes.

“Okay, I’m not angry. Let’s change subjects?”

“With pleasure.”

Indeed, in an attempt to help me change my mood, Nathaniel goes on to teach me some more French. It’s amusing, but I really can’t tell how much I will be able to remember by tomorrow.

We keep talking, and I keep eating pizza, until late into the night. I’m not that tired, so I eventually end up lazily laying down on the couch, watching TV blankly. Nathaniel is on his computer again, probably catching up on some work. My feet are on his lap, and he sometimes caresses my leg without thinking. We stay silent for a while, with only the downpour in the background. We lit a few candles earlier, so now the room smells like citrus.

I’m finally starting to feel a bit better.

“Elena?”

“Hm?”

“What if I financed it?”

I frown. What is he talking about? He puts down his computer to face me, one of his hands on my leg.

“Your Music Café. What if I financed it?”

“Nate, I don’t get what you’re talking about.”

We talked about my idea a few times before, and I know Nathaniel’s always acted interested in it. He asked many questions and raised issues I hadn’t thought about before while making plans on my own. But I don’t get why he’s suddenly bringing this up again?

“Look, the idea is good. All you would need are funds and some professional advice. I can give you both. Isn’t that what you want?”

I sit up. What’s with him now?

“Nate, you know this is my own dream.”

“I know, I’m just saying.”

“My own dream means I want to be able to do it on my own, without using someone else’s money, or connections.”

He stays silent for a second. Nate looks a bit shocked by my words, but I have to be resolute about this. I know his life is different. He isn’t limited by money problems or pack issues, but that doesn’t mean he can’t understand that I am. I sit up and take a deep breath. After everything he said before, I do have to give in a bit to him too.

“Nate, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but that’s a no.”

“Elena, I don’t get it. I’m giving you a chance to realize your dream and-”

“It’s not a chance, Nate. For me, it’s as if I cheated. Even if you really believe in it, it’s not right for me to do this. From the start, this Music Café has been a goal of mine, something I want to work hard for and earn by myself. If I accept your money, I’ll be taking a shortcut and betraying the person I want to be.”

He is still frowning, and I know he understands what I’m trying to say.

“Nathaniel, even if I had all that money right now, it might not be the right time. It’s… complicated with my pack, I have to resume my classes next week, and there’s the matter with my dad too.”

He suddenly raises his head, surprised. Of course.

“You never told me about your family. Aside from your adoption.”

“I know. It’s just that there isn’t much to say. My mom died in a car accident almost two years ago now, and my dad has been in a coma since that same accident.”

“I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. I don’t feel like I can handle any pity right now.

“… Were you there? In the car?”

“No. I had just moved in with Danny, they were coming to see me. They were super late, and my mom was never late, so I figured something was wrong. They weren’t answering our calls or our mind-linking. I called half of the Opal Moon pack to help look for them.”

I sigh. I still remember the sight of their wrecked vehicle in the ravine. The horror when I realized what had happened.

We were supposed to celebrate so many things that night: my moving in with Danny, his scholarship, Mom’s new job, and my freedom, at long last.

Instead of letting the sorrow sink in, I shake my head and drink a bit of tea. I force myself to smile, even with that bitter taste behind it.

“It’s okay, Nate. But, please, understand I can’t tell you yes for now. I have so many reasons not to. Moreover, I’m not even sure I could accept so much money from a friend.”

I almost said friend with benefits, but that would have been a bit weird in this situation, right? Damn, our relationship is getting stranger day by day. Worst thing is that I don’t hate it.

“Alright, I understand. Maybe I compared your situation to mine a bit too much.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was younger, I wanted to have my own restaurant, too… When our father was still here, every day was such a struggle.”

I listen to Nate, a bit surprised. He’s never said much about their childhood. All I know is from my memories of those years before they took over their father’s place and changed a lot of things. It was as if an age of fear had passed. The Black Moon became the Blood Moon, as if their name was cursed. They inherited the King’s spot and the fear he had spread among the packs.

“Damian worked himself to the bone so we could eat. I had to take care of the house and we both made sure Liam kept going to school. We lived in fear of our father, even more so than the other packs. If anyone else was scared of seeing him, imagine what it was like for us to live with that monster.”

“So you… all three of you hated him?”

“To the core. There wasn’t one of us he didn’t beat. He sent me to the hospital twice, and almost killed Damian so many times. We barely kept Liam safe. Yet, he was still injured a few times too. Trust me Elena, that man, no one misses him. We are nothing-- nothing-- like our father.”

I silently nod. This is the first time I’m seeing Nate with such a dark expression on his face. For a while, he stays lost in his thoughts, in memories probably too dark to imagine. I spent my childhood looking for who I am, while Nate spent his trying to escape who he was.

“I always dreamt of that day we would be rich, free of any worry. Truth is, as you grow up, you realize how far you’ve come but also how it never ends. Like, you can have money, a bed, a job, stability, and there is always something… something missing.”

He says that while looking at me, as if he was reading my soul. It’s a bit hard to breathe. Is it because I feel the same? This little piece of emptiness inside, that missing piece I’m so desperately looking for.

We stare at each other for a few seconds, before I can’t hold it anymore. I climb on his lap, straddling him, my hands around his neck, and I kiss him. Nate is a bit surprised at first, but as usual, he answers my kiss. Deeply, passionately. Like a dance we both know too well, so synchronized and entrancing. The taste of his lips is my personal drug, and more addicting every time I get a taste.

“ Elena! ”

The familiar headache takes me by surprise. My wolf growls, annoyed by the interruption. I’m annoyed too and can’t help but answer a bit angrily.

“ What, Levi? ”

“ You’re not going to like this. Get to the Alpha’s house. Right now. ”

“ What? Why? ”

“ He’s fighting with Reagan, it’s nasty. ”

Holy crap. I get off of Nate’s lap, trying to focus.

“ What the hell? Why? ”

“ Your ex. He’s been spotted in the west. Diego is coming back, Elena. ”

“ Oh shit. ”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! I jump off the couch under Nate’s confused expression.

“You have to go. Now.”

I storm to my bedroom and grab a pair of sneakers.

“Elena, what is it? Are you okay?”

“No, Nate, I’m not okay and I really, really have to go.”

I know he’s probably confused as heck, but I really don’t have the time. What do I need? My keys, my phone...

“What’s going on?” he insists.

“I’m sorry Nate, I can’t tell you. It’s complicated, it’s a pack issue and… Shit, where the hell are my keys?”

“On the kitchen counter. But seriously, Elena, explain this to me!” He stands up and follows me around. What the hell can I tell him? ‘Hey, my abusive ex is coming back in town and my mentor lost her shit on our Alpha’? No way. Pack matters are pack matters, and I especially don’t want Nate to know about this.

I finally have my keys in hand, grab my backpack, and put on my shoes and a raincoat. I grab my phone and finally force myself to walk up to him.

“Nate, I’m very happy you came to comfort me, and I spent a great day with you. I really did. Oh, and I loved the pizza too. But now, I really have to go and you do as well, please.”

“You’ll explain later?” He frowns, although he does go to gather his stuff.

“What? Yes, I mean, no. Well, maybe. I don’t know for now. Anyway, Nate, please!”

“Okay, okay. Just go, Elena, I’ll lock up after myself.”

“All right. Thanks.”

I give him a quick kiss and run out. I feel like crap for leaving him like this, but right now, I need to hurry over there…