Page 20 of His Forbidden Duchess (Forbidden Lords #3)

Chapter Twenty

B y the time Eloise had mustered the courage to leave the chapel, Felix was already waiting for her in the carriage.

He said nothing as she climbed in. He simply stared forward, as if he didn’t even know her.

She keenly felt his coldness and again found herself confused by his odd comportment. His attitude toward her seemed to change by the minute, one moment full of fiery passion, the next like the ice on a winter morning.

His behavior ebbs and flows like a tide.

She risked a glance at him and offered a small smile, but he didn’t respond, so she took the seat across from him and looked ahead, her body stiff and her hands folded tightly in her lap.

Of course, Eloise understood why he had married her. She was eternally grateful for it. What concerned her was what came next. She knew—had been told—what was supposed to happen on a wedding night, and it had excited as much as frightened her. But this was not an ordinary wedding, and she was not an ordinary bride.

The carriage jolted into motion.

The air between them was heavy, filled with all the things they did not know how to say. Her gratitude, her discomfort. Her yearning desire.

What is going through his mind?

She glanced down at her hands, the simple gold band on her finger glinting in the light from the carriage window. Now that they were married, it felt like everything had changed.

Eloise was certain that she had become a burden to him.

Her eyes still on her hands, she whispered a soft “Thank you.”

Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but the words found their way straight to Felix’s heart.

He’d been so confused throughout the wedding, a sensation he rarely experienced. He’d never intended to marry and certainly not to Jeremy’s little sister. He knew that he’d done what he had done out of duty, and he was certain it had been the right decision.

But there was a small part of him, hiding in the depths of his heart, that wanted this. There was a part of him that was proud to call Eloise his wife. Of course, he couldn’t act on it, and he never would. He was not good enough for her, and he was well aware that theirs was a marriage of convenience.

His peripheral vision caught the downcast look on her face. She seemed so stiff, so unhappy. She had been forced into a wedding she did not want. He promised himself then that he would allow her total freedom. She could live her life as she wished, and he would live his, and they would be married in name only.

“Thank you.”

Her words echoed in his mind, but this time he looked directly at her. She had looked up, her gaze searching, and he wondered what it was she wanted from him.

“It is done now,” he replied, his tone even, his nod curt.

Does she want more from me?

He breathed in steadily. He had already given her so much and was prepared to give her freedom, and yet he was left with a sense that she wanted so much more, but he had no more to offer her.

“About the bet,” she began a few seconds later, her tone tentative.

Felix’s eyes sharpened, and his posture stiffened. He’d almost forgotten about the bet—the catalyst that had put everything else that had followed into motion.

It is the reason she has now become so much a part of my thoughts and my heart.

“Yes, I recall our bet.” His tone was cool, but he was aware of the edge hidden within it. “I must admit, I am curious. I understand now why you were so keen to marry Mortcombe so quickly, but why the bet?”

He looked at her intently as she squirmed in her seat. Something in him stirred, and he smirked. He liked it when she squirmed.

“Well, I…” She cleared her throat. “I proposed it because…” She paused, looking up at him again. “You were the only person I could think of who could help me to seduce Mortcombe. Given your experience, of course.”

She flushed at the bluntness of her words, and he was reminded of that night in his drawing room when he had been teaching her to dance. Her cheeks had flushed similarly then.

I cannot let myself be drawn in further.

His jaw tightened as he reminded himself that he could not have her in all of the ways he desired.

“But why the bet?” he asked. “Why not simply ask for my help?”

As Eloise scoffed, whatever uncertainty she had harbored seemed to slide from her, and she once again seemed light and playful as she had before.

“I knew you would never agree to it outright,” she said, “but you are competitive, Felix, you always have been. I thought that, perhaps, if I made it a challenge and not a plea for help, you would not be able to resist.”

Felix let out a humorless laugh, the sound low and bitter. She knew him so well, and he felt as if she had used him.

“So, you used my competitive nature against me.”

“It was nothing like that,” she insisted, her eyes pleading with his. “I could not tell you the real reason, you know that. For Jeremy’s sake if for nothing else. I know you would never have…”

She trailed off as Felix’s eyes darkened.

Jeremy.

Therein lay another problem Felix was going to have to face, and all in the name of helping their family. Would he also lose a lifelong friendship over this?

He resisted the urge to rub his hands over his face.

Dear Lord, I need a brandy. Or three.

None of what had unfolded made any sense to him, and yet here they were. He had no idea what to do next or what was expected of him.

What will the outcome of all this be?

He only knew he couldn’t allow his own desire or growing emotion to get the better of him.

“Ah yes, Jeremy,” Felix muttered to himself, turning to stare out of the window. “You and your brother, always tangled up in secrets. If I remember correctly, it was the same when we were children.”

Eloise winced, and Felix wondered if he had gone too far.

“It was the only way,” she whispered. “You were the only person I could turn to.”

“And yet, you lost the bet.”

He allowed himself a smirk, remembering what she had agreed to if she lost—a private dance lesson. He supposed that, now that she was his wife, he could have all the dance lessons he wanted.

He shook his head, clearing his throat as she spoke again.

“I am well aware of that.”

She turned away from him with her nose in the air. He smirked at her familiar haughty expression.

“H-how can I repay you?” she asked a moment later. “We agreed that?—”

“It no longer matters,” he said, interrupting her and turning away.

A thick and heavy tension returned to permeate the air between them. He was certain that she was as confused as he was. It was never meant to be like this. He wanted her, had wanted her, but not like this.

And never for marriage.

“Very well,” she replied.

He shifted in his seat, his gaze drifting to the window again. The streets of London passed them by, the world bustling around them while they remained still.

He returned to his businesslike demeanor. If he was to get through this debacle, that was how he intended to accomplish it.

“I have already spoken with my solicitors as I am sure you have noticed,” he said. “The debt will be paid promptly. We agreed to that much. But I have also made arrangements to maintain your mother’s wellbeing until Jeremy returns. She will have an allowance and the means to keep the townhouse in order.”

“Felix, that is ever so thoughtful of you. Thank you.”

He could sense her smile and the gratitude in her words, but he didn’t look at her.

“It is nothing,” he said, still looking out of the window.

Of course, he was going to see to it that Lady Danridge was all right. She was family, now more than ever.

“I just… I still worry for her. Without someone there to?—”

He glanced at her sharply, cutting her off with a firm voice. Didn’t she trust him?

“She will be looked after. And you need not thank me again. I have heard enough thanks from you and your mother to last me a lifetime”

Eloise looked down, and for the briefest of moments, Felix felt a pinch of guilt for speaking too harshly.

“Still,” she said quietly, “it means a great deal to me. I know it was not easy for you.”

He sighed, weary of it all: the confusion, the turbulent ride of emotions, the overwhelming chaos of the situation he now found himself in. He’d spent ample time in gambling hells with brandy and loose women to avoid these sorts of issues. Alcohol and mistresses had an effective way of dulling the mind.

“You are still Jeremy’s sister,” he said. “It is like helping my own family.” His voice softened, and he added with a little chuckle, “And now, you are my family.”

“Well then,” she said quietly, her eyes searching his face again, “if we are family now, what prize do you desire for winning the bet?”

Felix rolled his eyes though a faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I have told you, Eloise, enough with the gratitude and promises. I do not want anything from you.” He paused, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. “At least, not yet.”

She frowned, tilting her head. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” he said, leaning back and crossing his arms, “that I will call in my prize when I see fit. But not today.”

He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes raking over her body. Though she had no time to be fitted for a proper wedding gown, she had managed to make herself look like the most beautiful bride of all.

She is so very, very tempting.

There was no denying that he wanted her. The question was whether he could allow himself to have her.

“And what if I refuse when the time comes?”

She dared him, that glint in her eyes again, the game they’d been playing once again at the forefront. Excitement shimmied through his body, and he leaned forward, closing the space between them. The air seemed to pop and fizzle.

“In that case, Duchess of Kingswell, we shall have quite an interesting discussion. There are consequences for refusing one’s husband.” He raised an eyebrow at her, enjoying the flash of excitement in her eyes. “But I have a feeling you will not refuse.”

Felix held his breath as they maintained eye contact. Whatever promises he had made to himself were slipping away, as though she was stripping and revealing him.

He swallowed, knowing what he was about to do.

He leaned in closer, drawn by some invisible force, his need for her stronger than his need to remain steadfast. She responded, moving forward, his eyes on his lips.

Just then, the carriage lurched, the wheel hitting a rut in the road. Eloise gasped, thrown off balance, and tumbled into Felix’s lap.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close to him even though the carriage had righted itself. He inhaled her scent, her warmth seeping into him. He could feel the pounding of her heart and the rise and fall of her breasts through the fabric of her gown.

If he was a better, more honorable man, he would release her and send her back to her seat. But he couldn’t. He wanted her body against his. He wanted this, no matter how often he told himself that he didn’t.

“I… I ought to…” Her words caught in her throat, her eyes latched on to his.

He nodded. “Yes, yes.” He cleared his throat, remembering himself, and he released her. “I am sorry. I did not intend to…”

Eloise’s cheeks burned, and she quickly averted her gaze. “No, it was my fault,” she murmured, smoothing her skirts. “I—thank you.”

Felix’s lips twitched as he suppressed a smirk. “Another thank you, Duchess?”

“I suppose I owe you one, this time,” she said with a smile.