Page 19 of His Forbidden Duchess (Forbidden Lords #3)

Chapter Nineteen

“ Y ou look beautiful, My Lady,” Margaret said from behind her. “A proper bride.”

Eloise smoothed down the fabric of her gown as she inspected her reflection in the looking glass.

The maid’s words sounded as empty as Eloise felt. Margaret was simply trying to make her feel better.

“It is not quite how I imagined I would look on my wedding day,” she said, tilting her head as she looked herself up and down.

Since there had not been enough time to be fitted for a proper wedding dress, Eloise had selected a demure but sophisticated gown from her wardrobe that most closely resembled one. Moreover, she had no money to buy one, and the wedding was a matter of urgent necessity rather than love or familial convenience.

She hadn’t seen Felix since that terrible day. She had merely received a brief note from him with the details of the wedding ceremony. Her wedding.

She would be eternally grateful to him for rescuing her family, but she was hurt by how cold and businesslike he had become. Even if he felt nothing for her, hadn’t he been a close friend of her family for as long as she could remember?

“Just you wait,” Margaret enthused. “I picked you some flowers to use as a bouquet. It is going to be beautiful. His Grace is a good man. Just imagine, you will soon be a duchess!”

Eloise sighed and turned, flopping down onto a nearby seat. “I would be excited if he wanted me to be his duchess. It is the Duke of Kingswell, Margaret! My brother’s best friend. I dread to think what Jeremy will do when he returns and finds me living with him!”

“ Married to him,” Margaret corrected. “There is a difference. And I am certain the Marquess will simply be grateful to His Grace for his sacrifice.”

Sacrifice. The word spun around Eloise’s mind. That is all I am to Felix. A sacrifice.

She was crippled with guilt and sadness, disappointed that Felix could never have the same feelings for her as she had for him.

If it had been Mortcombe, she would have handled the rejection in stride. She didn’t care for him at all. But Felix…

“Come, My Lady,” Margaret said, holding her hand out to guide Eloise. “Let us get to the church. The sooner we get there, the sooner it is over, and you can go on living a wonderful life as the Duchess of Kingswell.”

Eloise nodded sadly and allowed herself to be led.

The chapel Felix had organized for their wedding was tiny, the priest old and frail. Eloise shivered as she entered. On one side sat Lord Stentford along with Felix’s aunt, Lady Brimsleigh. A man Eloise recognized as Felix’s solicitor sat alone on a pew at the back, close to the door. On the other side, Hannah stood with Eloise’s mother, who was already weeping.

It hurt Eloise’s heart to see the church so empty and bleak. She’d always imagined that her wedding would be celebrated by a great many people—a huge wedding that would be described in great detail in the society pages and discussed over tea by the women of the Ton.

At least there was music as her lady’s maid walked her down the aisle in Jeremy’s place.

As Eloise stepped up to the altar, some of the initial coldness melted away. There was Felix, the Duke of Kingswell. He wore his finest suit, the brass buttons polished to a high shine. His gloves must have been new because their whiteness shone brightly. He had trimmed his sandy blond beard, and he stood tall and proud, his hazel-green eyes shining with something Eloise was unable to decipher.

Fear? Love?

“Good morning, Your Grace,” she whispered, lowering her eyes coyly.

“Eloise. You look beautiful.”

She blushed, surprised he had said such a thing. The simple, sweet words warmed her heart, but he had spoken them with a tone of cold objectivity, as though he had felt obliged to say them.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her confusion causing her thoughts to roil chaotically.

“Dearly beloved,” the priest began, his voice soft but steady, “we are gathered here today in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate, instituted by God in the time of man’s innocence, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church.”

Eloise slowly let her breath out, her gaze steady on the priest as he spoke, his arms open as if embracing the world.

She had dreamed of this moment since childhood, but it had never looked like this. Her imagined wedding had never been marred by the black cloud that now hung over them, nor had she questioned the groom’s desire to be there. Eloise wept inwardly as her fantasy wedding disintegrated into dust.

This is Felix, she reminded herself. He never does anything he does not want to do.

She risked a glance at him, the man who was about to become her husband. The man who was her brother’s best friend, a known rake, and a gambler and…

She sucked in her breath quickly.

He was more than all those things.

He was also the man she had yearned for over the previous weeks but had never pictured marrying. The man who set her mind to wandering and drove her body senseless with desire. He was the man she had dreamed of, the one who gave her a secret smile and made her heart jump whenever he was present.

That is Felix.

The priest turned and addressed the small congregation.

“I require and charge you both,” he said, “as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment why ye may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, you must now speak, or forever hold your peace.”

Because it is all a sham? Because he does not love me? Because Jeremy isn’t even aware, let alone present?

Many reasons why she should not marry Felix ran through Eloise’s mind, but not once did she think it was because she did not love him .

The priest guided them to face one another, directing them to look into one another’s eyes, to take each other’s hands. It was then that she fell into his essence. She felt herself slipping into a trance, each word of the priest a distant echo.

Felix’s grasp was warm, and the colors in his eyes seemed myriad, like a rainbow of browns and greens. She stared into them, thinking how strange it was to be so close to him, to be here together like this.

This was a man she had known her entire life and yet hardly knew at all. Perhaps there were parts of him that she would never know.

“…to have and to hold…” the priest intoned, his voice bland and repetitive. Eloise shivered, lost in her thoughts.

Felix squeezed her hand gently, his thumb brushing over her knuckles, and it brought her back to herself, back to the chapel. It was such a small gesture, yet it was so kind and so loving in this strangest of situations.

She lifted her eyes to his. He was staring at her, his eyes steady and intense. Was that a flicker of something more in his gaze?

Or was it just her foolish heart imagining things?

“Do you, Felix Greystone, Duke of Kingswell, take this woman, Eloise Manning, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Felix’s response was immediate and firm. There was not an ounce of doubt in the words.

“I do.”

She watched open-mouthed as he slipped the ring onto her finger—a modest gold band—and her entire being became lost in the confusion she felt.

It was all so absurd! Felix, Jeremy’s best friend, placing a wedding band upon her finger in this tiny chapel with only a handful of witnesses.

But then, their marriage was not a grand love affair. It was necessity, pure and simple.

No matter what I crave in secret.

“And do you, Eloise Manning, take this man, Felix Greystone, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Her mouth felt dry. She parted her lips, and for a moment, no sound came out. She had no choice but to marry Felix. If she did not, her family was ruined, and Mr. Carlisle would take everything her family owned. But the words stuck in her throat.

It is not supposed to be like this.

Felix’s hand tightened around hers, his eyes urging her to speak, and she realized how long she’d been silent. The chapel thrummed with tension. Finally, she managed to say the two little words.

“I do.”

The priest blessed them, murmuring the final words of the ceremony. When he looked up again, it was with a wide, proud smile.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Eloise’s heart stilled. It would not be the first time she kissed him, but it would be the first time as his wife. And though the congregation was small, they were there. Witnessing everything.

Eloise licked her lips, staring up at him, feeling that familiar stirring in her stomach.

Felix lowered his head, his mouth hovering just above hers. Eloise felt the warmth of his breath, the closeness of him, the way his scent enveloped her.

Her breath hitched.

This kiss would seal their agreement. Seal their marriage.

His lips brushed hers, featherlight, so different from their earlier passion, so teasing. She wanted to reach out and pull him to her without a care for their witnesses. She wanted to feel him pressed against her as he had been before.

“Congratulations, My Lady,” he murmured, his voice low.

She forced a smile as she throbbed with love and unaddressed need.

“And to you, Your Grace,” she whispered, avoiding his gaze.

Lady Brimsleigh was the first to approach them after the ceremony had concluded.

Eloise wondered how much of the truth she knew. Did she know that this was a marriage of convenience, or did she believe Felix genuinely loved her? Maybe she simply thought Felix had lost his mind.

“Goodness me,” she declared, laying a laying gently over her heart. “How delightful that was. A simple ceremony, it is true, but how very charming. Welcome to the family, Eloise.”

The Viscount of Stentford, standing just behind Lady Brimsleigh, gave Felix a knowing look.

“I knew there was something going on, but I must admit, old boy, this has come as a shock to us all!” He glanced at Eloise, realizing what he had said. “A wonderful surprise, of course, but a surprise all the same.”

Felix’s eyes flicked to Eloise for a moment before he replied, “Yes, who would have thought?”

The tension in his voice eclipsed the sweetness and charm elicited by their recent vows. Lady Brimsleigh narrowed her eyes as she assessed the newlyweds. Something unspoken was clearly hanging between Eloise and her godson.

Overwhelmed, Eloise said nothing, only smiling and nodding when someone spoke to her.

At least until her mother hurried forward in a fluster as she always was.

Eloise’s eyes softened to see her. She loved her mother dearly, even though they sometimes clashed in their views and roles. She was glad that, for once, her mother’s tears were those of joy, not sadness or fear.

“Oh, Eloise!” Lady Danridge cried.

She flung her arms around Eloise dramatically, and Eloise hugged her back tightly, feeling a mixture of happiness and grief swell up within her.

“It is finally over, Mother,” she whispered quietly in her ear. “You no longer have a reason to worry or be fearful.”

“Oh!” Lady Danridge’s voice quivered in Eloise’s ear, her embrace as tight as ever. “Nothing to worry about? But there is still so much to worry about!”

Eloise let out a silent sigh then put on a smile and pulled herself out of their embrace.

“What could possibly worry you now? The Duke… he has saved us,” she whispered, her eyes darting around in the hope that no one could overhear their conversation.

“I am so happy for you, my love, of course I am,” Lady Danridge said. “But I shall miss you terribly. How will I manage without you in the townhouse? How will I cope?”

Eloise felt the familiar pang of worry spiral in her stomach.

How would she cope?

There were servants, certainly, but her mother had never been very resourceful on her own. She’d relied on Eloise for so very long.

She put a hand on her mother’s arm, hoping to calm her.

“Mother, you will be fine. We will still see each other often, I promise. And you have the servants and your friends. There are plenty of people around you to help with whatever you require.”

Lady Danridge sniffed, her handkerchief clenched in her fist, and shook her head. “It will not be the same. You know how to fix everything. You have always been there. You are my only daughter. Oh, Eloise!”

As I have fixed this.

Eloise sighed and opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, Felix cleared his throat.

My husband.

“Lady Danridge,” he said, “you will always be welcome at Kingswell House. And of course, Eloise will visit as often as she wishes.”

His voice carried the rich, caring, velvety tone that she always heard in her dreams, and yet there was an irritated formality about him as he spoke to the Dowager, as though Lady Danridge’s complaints were a nuisance to him.

Eloise felt a rush of warmth. He was protecting her, she realized, ensuring that her mother had no cause to complain. She allowed herself a small smile, daring to believe that perhaps he wasn’t so cold after all.

“Oh, thank you so much, Your Grace,” Lady Danridge said, her handkerchief once again at her forehead. “That is most generous.”

Eloise once again let out her breath, the nervousness in her heart calming considerably. Hannah embraced her, gushing about how wonderful the day was, and Percy offered his congratulations.

For just a moment, as the well-wishers chattered around them and Eloise clung onto her bouquet as if that would anchor her to the earth, she sensed a hint of celebration.

It almost feels like this is a real wedding.

Smiling, she looked around the chapel and caught sight of Felix’s solicitor slipping out the side door. She frowned, wondering why he had left so abruptly. Indeed, why had he attended in the first place?

And then it came to her. He was going to deal with her father’s outstanding debt to Mr. Carlisle.

The very reason she and Felix had married in the first place.

She looked at Felix, her eyes filled with hope, but he seemed not to see her. He was too engrossed in conversation, too lost in whatever quip Percy was making.

When, he finally did turn to her, he simply said, “I will meet you at the carriage.”

And then he left the chapel.