Page 17 of His By Sunrise (Disreputable Dukes of Club Damnation #3)
“Only because you kidnapped me,” she couldn’t resist reminding him as anticipation twisted down her spine to land in her belly.
He grunted. “Don’t deny our connection, Charlotte. We were together, married, share a child together for a reason. None of it was a wrong decision. Your father getting involved, excluding me, and securing you a divorce was.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. At the time, I wasn’t in my right mind, and if I could go back...” What? Would she change anything?
“Would you have done anything differently?”
She squirmed under his intense scrutiny. It was well past time to be honest with herself. “I would have fought for you, I think.” For both her and Olivia’s sake.
It was as if she’d given him permission—or an absolution—for with a soft cry of what sounded like victory, Edwin kissed his way down her body.
For the next several moments, he explored every inch of her form with his fingers and his tongue.
He buried his face between her thighs, and just as he’d done with the rest of her body, he teased and tormented her sensitive folds as well as encouraged the swollen button out of hiding, suckled it within an inch of its life.
Need flooded her limbs and went into every nerve ending.
Charlottle buried her fingers into his silky hair, guiding him to where she wanted him the most, and he didn’t stop his quest to see her undone.
Not even when she begged him to with tears rolling down her cheeks from the intense and steady sensations battering her.
“None of that, my dear,” he murmured against her flesh. “You can’t fall over the edge into bliss until I tell you that you can.”
What did that mean? She couldn’t control it... could she? “Or what?” she managed to pant out as her toes pointed from the exquisite pleasure he managed to impart.
“Or there won’t be any more of this, and I rather think Lord Danville can’t give you what I’m capable of.” His eyes twinkled in the gloom as he sought out her gaze. “You’ll be forever unimpressed and far less satisfied if you take him into your bed.”
“Bastard.” Unfortunately, he was right in thinking that way. There was no one she’d rather have near her when it came to carnal games.
“Yet here you are.” With a chuckle, he switched to bedeviling her button with the fingers of one hand while he rolled one of her nipples with the other. Seconds later, he pinched that tip. Hard.
Pain and pleasure both streaked through her breasts and into her core.
When he released the nipple, it was so sensitive, and that lingering sensation stole her breath and nearly sent her over.
“Edwin, please... I can’t last.” God but she despised herself for begging.
How could he still have this much hold over her body, and why did she continue to give it to him?
“Hold it, Char. Don’t go over until I give permission.”
Her head thrashed on the pillow while her body shook so hard she feared she’d break apart. “I am going to die here, I think.”
And still he continued to apply friction to her button in varying degrees of speed and intensity. At the same time, he rolled, plucked, pinched, and even suckled her nipples, alternating between them.
“Edwin...” She barely could remember how to form words, for she was that far gone.
“Now, Charlotte. Fall. Fly.” Each of the words, softly uttered near her ear, ripped through her consciousness, and with a half cry half scream, she let the release consume her.
Edwin took most of the sound into himself as he kissed her, but good heavens, spending this time was beyond her wildest dreams. She was tossed hard into that void, shuttled through the heavens as wave upon wave of pleasure rolled over her.
There wasn’t a part of her body that didn’t throb, contract, or tickle from what he’d done.
But it had always been that way with Edwin. Somehow, he’d known exactly what she needed and when she needed it.
Still did, apparently. Along with that thought, she knew deep down in her heart where she kept things best forgotten, she knew William would never come up to that mark.
“Dear God.” Exhausted and completely wrung out, Charlotte collapsed onto the bed and burrowed into the pillows. Her heartbeat raced as she tried to regulate her breathing. “You haven’t lost your skill.”
“That is good to hear, but it is merely you I’m compatible with.” Heaving a sigh, he lay on his back beside her. “Truth be told, I’ve not had compliments from any other woman aside from you.”
She frowned. “You’ve had liaisons over the past five years?” Jealousy stabbed through her chest at the thought.
“I never said I was a monk, Charlotte.” Nothing except exhaustion rang in his voice.
“Those first few years after I lost you? I was alone and hurting. I could barely convince myself to leave the house, but I did because I knew I needed to continue to find ways to make a living.” He blew out a breath.
“After that, I visited a courtesan here or there because I was weak but not looking for another relationship. Those were the times I couldn’t abide the silence left with your absence.
” Each time he moved, faint whiffs of his crisp and clean scent wafted to her nose.
“Oh.” Her chin trembled and she drew a pillow to her chest as she lay on her side facing him. Put in those words, she couldn’t hold that against him. After all, they were divorced from each other, and he could do what he wanted. “I’m sorry.”
“It is life.” For long moments, he was silent. “What do you want for your future?”
“Uh...” Charlotte uttered a shuddering sigh.
“Honestly?” She found his gaze in the darkness.
“I just want to be happy. For far too long, I feel as if I haven’t been.
” When was the last time she’d laughed with abandon and freedom?
When had she felt light and as if everything would be right as rain?
Certainly, it hadn’t been since she’d met William.
Yes, the viscount was everything polite and handsome, but he didn’t show his personality to her, no doubt because they hadn’t formally announced any sort of relationship.
“I want to feel content with who I’m with and know that Olivia is being given good examples of decent people. ”
“There is nothing wrong with that, Charlotte.” The way he whispered her name had tears stinging the backs of her eyelids. She hadn’t heard such care and concern in his voice in ages.
She nodded. “What of you? Do you have hopes for your future?”
“There is one thing above all others, and it has never changed.” He focused on the ceiling instead of on her, and for that, she appreciated the bit of privacy. “I merely want my family back, to see Olivia and have a relationship with her. I don’t want her to hate me.”
Tears crowded in Charlotte’s throat. “She doesn’t, of course, and she does ask after you. I simply tell her that you are away on business.” Her voice broke. “You could have come to call...”
He snorted. “I wouldn’t be allowed entry to your father’s townhouse, for in his eyes, I’m not good enough to be Olivia’s father after I failed to keep you...”
This time, the tears fell to her cheeks.
The poor man had taken the divorce to heart, and she’d no idea how deeply he’d been hurt until he’d told her.
I have made such a mistake, not only toward him but for me.
“It wasn’t just you who failed, Edwin. I did too, and for that I will always feel ashamed and carry regrets. ”
“What now, then?” His voice was raw and graveled.
“I don’t know.” Perhaps they had truly needed this time away from London and everyone in order to focus on themselves and to work things out. “Let me have a couple more days with you so that I can sort my thoughts.”
His huff was full of frustration. “To use me?”
There was that, and she was glad he called her out on it. “You’re using me as well.”
“Yes, but in my case, I’m trying to fucking win you back. To rebuild our family and perhaps go forward from where we fell apart.” He put a hand on her shoulder, and she nearly crumbled into an emotional mess from the touch. “You’re only having an itch scratched. Therein lies the difference.”
“I won’t deny it.” Yet more tears fell. “It seems that now I’m in your company once again, the morass of confusion has taken hold, and I don’t know what it is that I’m thinking. I only feel right when I’m here.”
“In Surrey?”
“No.” Heat slapped at her cheeks. “In bed, next to you.”
“Ah. You know, Char, you can’t have it both ways.
At some point, you will need to decide which way you’d like to have your life ordered.
” Another swath of silence brewed between them.
“If you don’t mind going to your room, I’m quite knackered after the events of the day and require sleep. No doubt you do as well.”
“Oh.” She nodded, and another round of tears threatened. “Shall I see you at breakfast then?”
“I guess we’ll both find out together.” Then he turned away from her and didn’t tell her goodnight.
I suppose I deserve that. But it didn’t make her feel any better, and she did need to get herself sorted. Quickly, she slipped from the bed and retrieved her abandoned night dress . Really, Charlotte, stop waffling and stop being afraid to ask for what you want this time.