Page 17

17

MASON

O ur time together went too quickly. I sensed it was just a ‘farewell for now’ because I knew fate would bring us together again. I was going to make sure of it. We needed to figure out schedules, but since he was the one fixed here at school, it was my timetable and routes that would determine our rendezvous.

There was one hitch that made me pause—our age difference. Connor didn’t seem to have any issues with the twenty-six-year gap, but I felt like I was robbing the cradle. What would people think if something developed between us? Would his family accept us? How would my friends react? Thoughts swam in my head.

We stood in front of each other next to the passenger door on the wet pavement. Connor gave me an inquisitive look. “You’re thinking awfully hard,” he said as he reached out and grabbed my hand.

We were hidden from the street, giving us some privacy. The drizzle dampened my mood a bit, as did having to leave, but I gave him a wistful smile. I wasn’t going to ruin our farewell by telling him my doubts. “Just thinking about what an enjoyable, surprising night and morning we had.”

Placing my hands on his waist, I drew him to me without effort. I lifted his chin gently with my hand and brought our lips together. Our eyes closed at the passionate connection. My tongue found his, he sucked it in, and I moaned softly. After a minute or so, we broke our lip lock, and I placed my forehead against his.

Connor seemed out of breath as he said, “I’ve been wanting to hold you, to kiss you, and have my way with you ever since I set eyes on you. I just never thought you’d be interested, let alone give in.” He looked at me and warily asked, “I know you were married, but does this mean you’re now into men?”

My reply was simple. “I’m not really into men, but I’m into you, Connor, and I’m just as surprised and maybe a bit confused by it all. It’s hard to describe my feelings, and I know I’ll be processing them for a while. But when I first saw those piercing green eyes of yours looking up at me, I was drawn into them. It brought back memories of my late wife, Claudia.”

Connor wasn’t surprised by my declaration—more amused.

Connor chuckled and stepped back. “It’s funny when people talk about my eye color. They always bring it up. Mom and Kyle both have blue eyes. Not many people I’ve encountered have green eyes, to my knowledge. I’m adopted though, so my genetics are different than my family’s.”

When he admitted he was adopted, I took it as just another bit of information about him. I was too caught up in his warmth as we held each other. “Green eyes are a low percentage. Brown is the most common,” I said.

“Well, aren’t you the knowledgeable one,” Connor replied with a light punch to my arm.

“It’s because I’m older and wiser than you,” I teasingly countered as I kissed his forehead. “I hate to end this, but I do need to get moving in order to make my delivery time later today.”

Connor nodded and looked down. “What are you doing for the upcoming holidays?”

His question threw me, but then I realized we were already in November. Thanksgiving would be arriving before I knew it, and then there was Christmas to deal with. I always drove and made deliveries during the holidays, making sure holiday freight got where it needed to be. I stayed busy, not wanting to succumb to the memories that Claudia and I had shared of past Christmases.

I’d stayed in touch with my in-laws after Claudia passed but rarely met up with them. They always invited me to join them during Christmas, but I always made the excuse of my job. They lived in Seattle, which was on my trip route occasionally, but it was difficult for me to drop in on them, even if invited. Again, the memories were too painful.

“I’ll be on the road making deliveries. The holidays are a busy time of year for me,” I replied.

“Oh,” he said with a hint of disappointment. “I was hoping we’d be able to see each other before the term ends. I’m heading to Portland for Christmas break to spend time with Mom and Kyle. I think Spencer might join us since his family will be on a fourteen-day winter cruise that will interfere with the start of our next term. I invited him to join us, but he hasn’t confirmed yet.”

I could tell Connor was rambling and maybe even trying to delay our separation.

“I think Spencer would enjoy being around a family at that time,” I said. “And I think you know I would love to see you again before the year ends, but right now, I’m not sure that would work, Connor. My schedule has already been determined for the next couple of months, and I didn’t plan on a holiday break.”

“Where will you be for Christmas…I mean, where on your route?”

“I know I’ll be going through part of Idaho and then up into Washington, but off the top of my head, I can’t tell you the timing of locations,” I said, feeling a bit pressured. I really needed to hit the road, and now I knew he was delaying our separation.

Nodding, he said, “Okay, but should you be close to Portland at Christmas, maybe you can at least join us for Christmas dinner?”

Another question that threw me. I placed my hands on his upper arms and squeezed gently before letting go. “Let’s just stay in touch and see what happens. That’s all I can promise you right now.”

Connor responded with another nod and brought his hands up to cradle my face. We gave each other another light kiss, and then he said, “I can accept that. It would be great to see you at Christmas, though, and I’m sure my family would enjoy meeting you. And with Spencer there, you’d already know someone who’s fun to be around.”

I smiled as we held hands. “I gotta go,” I said softly. “I promise to stay in touch, if not by phone call, then by text.” Connor took our hands, brought them to his lips, and kissed my knuckles on both hands. He stepped back and finally let go.

I hated the loss of his warmth. The sensation still tingled in my fingers, and the urge to grab them back made my heart ache. Connor seemed to have taken hold of something within me, which was exciting and terrifying at the same time.

He turned and walked around the front of my rig to cross the street, checking both ways. I followed and stopped in front of my truck as he jogged across the street. When he got to the other side, he spun and walked backward. “I’d better hear from you in a day or so, or you’ll have hell to pay,” he yelled at me with a pointed finger and a smile.

I shot my hand up and returned his smile, giving him a high wave to acknowledge his proclamation. I continued to watch his retreating form as he walked toward the campus. I didn’t stop staring until he was out of sight.

A car drove past, and I heard its slapping wiper blades. The increasing drops of rain hitting the hood of my rig finally brought me out of my reverie.

What was I going to do? Could I join him and his family at Christmas, or would that be too intrusive…or too soon to meet his family?

I decided I needed to do some serious soul-searching about my life, and about my future.