Page 13 of Hiding From Laughter
Ashton
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
’Wards.
Had to be a good boy to get my ’wards.
“Almost done. Good boy.”
My naughty man was pretending to smile but he was mean. “You can’t get into the bubbles in your clothes, baby.”
I could.
They’d get wet.
My naughty man sighed. “Alright, technically clothes can go in water but your diaper can’t. I’ve seen these when they go in pools and it doesn’t look comfortable at all, baby.”
Hmm.
“Step out of your shorts carefully. Once your onesie is off then you can have your toys back.”
My naughty man looked like he thought that would make me happy.
No.
Stole my toys.
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
“Good boy. You were very careful.”
My naughty man cheated and tried to good boy me. “You like being my good boy.”
Maybe.
No.
Mine.
My naughty man sighed. “Almost done.”
My naughty man was slow.
“I don’t know how we got to this point over a spoon.”
My naughty man frowned as he took off my mitts. “Wiggle your fingers for me. We’re almost done.”
Ugh.
No wiggles.
Toys.
Mine.
Wiggles.
“Good boy. Here you go.”
Mine.
“I really don’t know how we got to this point.”
Mine.
“See? I told you that you could have them back.”
My naughty man sighed again but then he gave me his fake big smile. “I’m glad you like your toys.”
Hmm.
Cheek kisses.
“Hands up. But don’t worry. You get to keep your toys.”
My naughty man unsnapped me and pulled my special shirt up and up and up. “There we go. Pop. Over your head.”
My naughty man was trying to be funny.
He was still naughty.
But maybe he was funny too.
“And see? You didn’t have to put your toys down.”
My naughty man knew they were ’portant. “More kisses for my cutie.”
Sneaky.
Neck kisses.
My naughty man was sneaky and made me laugh.
“I heard that.”
My naughty man smiled bigger and bigger as he took off my diaper. “Such a good boy. I’m so proud of you.”
Big ’wards.
Gonna get big big ’wards.
“I’m going to hold your arms as you get in the tub. Your hands are full and I don’t want you to fall.”
My naughty man was big careful as I stepped. “Perfect. Good boy. Now sit down slowly. You really don’t want me worried about you drowning in the tub.”
No.
Bad.
My naughty man worried.
Big careful.
Slowly.
Slowly.
Ha.
My naughty man laughed.
“Yes. I can see you’re being very careful.”
My naughty man laughed. “Nut.”
No.
Monkey.
Ha.
My naughty man laughed again.
“You look like one of those monkeys that like the hot springs. Like the ones we saw in the documentary.”
My naughty man laughed when I leaned back like the monkeys. “Yep. My silly monkey.”
Ha.
Ha.
“You sit carefully and I’m going to get the rest of the toys.”
My naughty man made more happy sounds when I showed him my special toys. “Yeah, you’ve got toys but I need some too.”
Hmm.
Okay.
“Thank you.”
My naughty man was silly and shook his head. “Since you have the elephant, I’m going to get the monkey. I know I saw one in there.”
No.
Mine.
Hmm.
No.
Good boy.
Big ’wards.
Share.
“You look like you have a tummy ache.”
My naughty man frowned as he dumped all my special toys in the tub. “Is sharing that painful?”
Yes.
Big big painful.
“Such a drama queen.”
My naughty man said drama but his smile said happy. “I’m glad you like your toys.”
Mine.
But I could share with my naughty man.
“The gorilla? Thank you.”
My naughty man kissed my head. “These float in the tub. That’s why they’re so strange looking. What do you think about us getting other toys so we could make a zoo while we watch cartoons?”
Oh.
Big zoo?
Hmm?
I showed my naughty man my elephant.
“Yes. We’d make sure it had elephants.”
He picked up the gorilla that was going up and down in the bubbles. “And different kinds of apes and kangaroos. None of these animals are in the same part of the world.”
My naughty man frowned at the tiger.
“I really don’t think these species are from the same place either.”
My naughty man got thinky. “We’re going to need enough enclosures to make a zoo that has everyone in the right spots.”
My naughty man was silly.
Worry over Ashton.
Worry over tubs.
Worry over tigers.
“Zoos separate everyone into their own areas to make it seem more immersive. We’ll have to do the same.”
My naughty man liked to plan. “I’ll do some research and see which sets are the best.”
Best toys for the best boy.
I was a good boy.
Good boys got good rewards.
Hmm.
I had fingers.
I could point.
Grunt. Grunt.
My naughty man laughed.
“Yes, I got distracted. Time for your first reward.”
First.
Second.
Ha ha.
Lots of rewards.
My naughty man laughed bigger bigger when he got up. “You sound like an evil villain laughing like that.”
Funny. Funny.
“But I didn’t forget your reward. I just got distracted planning our zoo.”
My naughty man glared when I laughed again. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that snicker.”
My naughty man was silly.
“Planning out the details is important so we find the perfect toys for you.”
My naughty man worried about toys too. “And it helps me figure out the perfect rewards.”
Bigger bigger ones.
Oh.
My naughty man got me poop chocolate.
And he groaned.
“I don’t understand how you’re so excited. It’s chocolate in the shape of animal poop.”
My naughty man frowned and sighed but he opened my treat. Quiet toy out. Poop in. “I think that was elephant poop. That’s just…ugh.”
Yummy.
That was just yummy.
“For goodness’ sake. It can’t be that good. It’s elephant poop.”
My naughty man made big sounds. “I have no idea what this one is. That’s a questionable shape right there.”
But it was yummy.
Oh.
Share.
Good boys share.
“Careful. Don’t slip.”
Oops.
Ha.
Got it.
“Thank—”
My naughty man got poop too.
“Bubbles don’t taste good, baby, but thank you for…for the chocolate.”
My naughty man frowned and didn’t say poop. “It really shouldn’t taste that good. I’m starting to see why it was so expensive.”
Ha.
’Spensive poop.
“Careful.”
My naughty man caught me when the tub laughed too. “Sit on your bottom, please. I’ll make sure to take some bites also, but you have to sit down.”
Share.
Share.
Share.
Big. Big. Rewards.
Ha. Ha. Ha. My naughty man ate poop.